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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 30, 2001
edited by JadeSyren





Email : brand-name yawn@charter-il.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I THINK ALL MEN DESERVE TO BE BITCH SLAPPED ...

[I wouldn't limit this to just men.]

One Liner:
PMS GETS THE BEST OF US!!!!

[It actually gets the WORST of us]



Email : do the math@isot.com

UserID : norman

[Bates?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm a bitch becouse i like being in control and when someone trys to take my rule it really pisses me off. i believe in put up or shut the fuck up. and if that ain't enough call my husbands unit!!!!

[Let's leave his dick out of this.]

if you you dont like my attitude then get the fuck off my planet!!!!!

[You got a receipt for that planet?]

One Liner:
if you dont like me or my attitude then leave me the fuck alone and go call someone at the ozzy and harriet foundation

[Oh. Okay, so only FICTIONAL characters can help you, psychotic one.]



Email : nun? Not her.@carolina.rr.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because i can't stand some stupid ass girls wh o think there WOMEN!! but there not and they try to be lil bitches when they know i have them beat!!

[The question is: Beat at what?]

Also MEN yall all know

[Like y'all wasn't plural enough.]

we hate them and at some point of times we wish they were dead BUT u know we CAN'T live without them!!!R at least i can't!!

[That's precisely the mindset I can't stand.]

One Liner:
I might be a bitch but i'm the best one u will EVER see!

[Because if that were true, I'd pull out my own eyes.]



Email : buckethead@home.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
why the fuck would anyone want to become a heartless bitch club memeber? This is the most worthless site ive ever visited.

[You hate us so much...yet you can't leave.]

Do you put that you are a member on a resume?

[That would depend upon the job I'm applying for.]

I just put my e-mail address on hear because i'm interested in knowing what you were thinking making this site instead of something that could benefit you.

[I've read several books that described people who were prisoners of industry. They only did things that were "useful" and eliminated things like music. Think about it.]

i hope it was a project for a college internet class.

[You are a regular slave to your mind]

One Liner:
this is one stupid fucking application

[We are in absolute agreement. I blame the applicant, however, not the application.]



[Once wasn't enough for him.]

Email : buckethead@home.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
and what the fuck are you talking about.

[Right now? Your dumb ass.]

Big tits and jeeps can go hand in hand with personalities.

[What definition of personality are you using?]

I bet you are a goth wannabe who gets their ass kicked on a daily basis for tyring to hard to have a "different" personality when your originality is as common as your small chest.

[Your guesses are about as accurate as your vocabulary.]

One Liner:
this is one stupid fucking application

[Shoot the sender.]



Email : tahoe and rake@excite.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a fucking moron

[Indeed.]

who can impress a small circle of self impressed shut-ins who can't seem to recognize slightly altered greeting cards or moderately pithy sayings that have been emailed a million times.

[No. The good stuff is "members only."]

One Liner:
look at me I'm pithy!!! BFD. when you are old and alone you'll get over it.

[Wouldn't the stereotype be that we are alone now?]



Email : burning bed@bausch.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I lie awake at night, staring into my soon-to-be exhusband's sleeping face,

[Why are you still sleeping with him?]

watching his lips part as he snores, and think with wonder... "God how easy it would be to kill him in his sleep". If only I could get away with it.

[You're divorcing him. How much more freedom do you need?]

One Liner:
I treat men as shoes. Shop often, try on many for size, walk all over them and toss the ones that suck into the back of the closet.

[And never, ever let them go. Hold a yard sale, already.]



Email : trailer_trash@stupidmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Long story short: i hate the whole fuckin world!the only people i like are ones with original qualities

[Like angst?]

One Liner:
My whole skool is full of the same fuckin sheep!!!!!!!!!!!theyre all sheep!!!!ba baaaaaaaaa baaaaaaa!you may call me crazy or sane but sometimes when im done daydreaming

[This explains why your application is horrifyingly bad. PAY ATTENTION in school.]

about real life!i see them with eachother and i can seriously see sheep!

[Get out of the play area, put down that "Farmer Says" toy, and get to work. Stay in school long enough to know how to spell the motherfucker. Damn.]



Email : trailer_trash@stupidmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
hmm where do i begin!i go around doing what a please, pray that youve got something to proctect yourself when you piss me off becausei wont think twice

[Don't be so modest, you don't even think once. You're not even thinking now.]

b4

[Bingo!]

i do somethin that i WONT regret!so dont fucking piss me off!

[Aw. We won't like you when you get angry?]

One Liner:
FUck this!im the fuckin queen of bitchyness!

[You've definitely cornered the market in stupidity.]



Email : asshole@mantraonline.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I like hot female wann fuck her ass

[Prison life got you down?]

One Liner:
fucking,sucking

[Why doesn't it surprise me that he can get fucking right, but not want?]



Email : New dummy doll@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because i only think about myself

One Liner:
I am selfish

[She gets four stars for honesty, at least.]



Email : ask@inbox.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
having fun for sex is the best thing to make our live happy

[When you set your goals low, you always meet them.]

One Liner:
i dunno about this site

[I don't know about you.]



Email : For sale or lease@uniquedecks.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I can't stand the things men want from women.

[Well, for FREE, anyway.]

I hate when i am asked to make coffee, i don't even drink the shit.

[Find a different job.]

I hate washing his fucking cloths,

[Then don't do them.]

the mother fucker isn't doing that shit for me.

[Do you have a boyfriend or a boss? This makes a difference.]

So maybe oops the bleach bottle broke open in the washer.

[Never ruin his clothes. It only cuts into the money he spends on you.]

Blow job? sure if he hands out a $100 bill and then maybe not still.

[Only $100?]

Sex? Fuck off I got a dildo.

[Are you kidding? Why keep him around if you're not doing anything with him? Break up with him already.]

Wanna go out? Sure if you spend a grand on me or so.

[You'd rather suck dick than go out?]

Dinner? Isn't that what we pay other people to make?

[Who can afford your price tag? It's cheaper to make you the maid, cook, and whore.]

I have no emotions if things aren't my way. Sorry but I could really care less.

[That's the reason you spitefully poured bleach on his clothes.]

One Liner:
I'll be cool to hook you, but after that your fucked.

[No, you're NOT fucked. You have a dildo, remember? Her blow jobs are only $100, though.]







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