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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 23, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



[From the Pukefest files:]

when you forget to call your boyfie,you get y'self rip[ped a new one,but when he does,you let it slide,cuz ur too dang forgiving..

[I know why this makes ME want to puke.]



Email : droolbobby&joy@drool.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
this is easy,

[It's funny how so many applications that say it's "easy" wind up here.]

i love telling those wonderfull sexles men that the only thing there gonna get to know tonight is the plam of there hand.. i have no understanding for stupid people..

[I don't understand them either. Seriously, I can't understand them.]

bitches who whine.. id love to rip their heads off. i mean get a clue i didnt get to where im at by laying on my back.

[You didn't get where you are by reading books, either.]

i have a brain now find yours and use it....

[I know many people who own cars but can't drive them.]

One Liner:
if i wanted to hear an ass hole id fart..

[In that case, why didn't you stop there?]



[There's something in the water:]

Name: The kids on the Trix Commercials

Email : TrixR4Kidz@cereal.box

UserID : ImaGay

URL : Silly bouncer, urls are for r33+ hax0rs

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't give my cereal to no fucking bunny just cause he earns it multiple times. I also refuse to let a fucking rabbit taste this cereal! This cereal is for kids! Don't look at me like that! We ain't no goddamn racists!

[How greedy to you have to be to refuse a bowl of cereal to a talking rabbit?]

Bitch, you wanna fight, let's go bitch!

One Liner:
FUCKIN RABBIT, If I see you trying to buy trix again I'mma bust a cap in your ass.

[Here's to hoping that the toy prize inside is a decoder ring.]



Name: Lucky

Email : LuckyCharms@cereal.box

UserID : ImaLezbo

URL : Nay, but me rainbow magic might

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Those darn kids keep stealing me cereal, and the only cop in cereal land is busy with the cookie crook.

[It would do you a world of good to turn off the T.V.]

I had no choice an took the law into me own hands. I killed the kids and ate their shoes and now theyre after me. Theyz shootin at me red ballon and me rainbow magic is na match!

[You're not the real Lucky. He always invents some marketable marshmellow product to save him.]

One Liner:
I've had it with kids stealin me lucky charms. Touch em and me rainbow magic gonna bust a cap in your ass!

[That's it! You need to rainbow magic up a silver gun marshmellow.]



Name: Waffle Crisp Granny

Email : Granny@cereal.box

UserID : ImaBesti

URL : You must be one of those young spys!

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Those darn youngsters keep sneaking into our secret waffle factories! Don't worry though, we're gonna counterspies of our own to teach those ingrats a lesson!

[What's that saying about idle hands?]

One Liner:
If I see kids trying to get the secrets of our Waffles I'mma bust a cap in your ass!

[We get it. You have a gun and can't wait to use it.]



Email : simple-minded@AOL.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[She didn't have any.]

One Liner:
"GIVE IT A REST" WHEN I RAISE THAT ONE EYEBROW, DON'T YOU GET IT: "I'M BORED WITH YOU LINE OF BULLSHIT"

[You can't see this, but I'm raising my eyebrow right now.]



Email : Itsy-bitsy spider@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I went out with a sad little loser to improve his self-esteem (yeah right!)and had sex with his best friend after 1 week.

[Probably did wonders for his self-esteem.]

i slept with my best friends boyfriend

[What a surprise.]

and lied about it and prtended nothing had happened

[No! You don't say.]

and even listened to her problems about her boyfriend.

[Why waste time? Just cut to the chase and tell her that her problem was you.]

i stole one of my old friends boyfriends when i was at high school.

[You say that as if you weren't still in high school.]

i stole from my small sister

[A feat you found challenging.]

i lie and cheat to get whatever i want.

[How did it help you here?]

One Liner:
I am prepared to do anything to get what i want and crush ANYTHING that gets in my way!!

[Said the ant to the steamroller.]



Email : diddler@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Once again, Where are the pictures of the naked cunts?

[On your mama's nightstand.]

One Liner:
Get a Life Find a man.

[We didn't have to go looking for you. It's not like men are in scant supply. Find a man? I'd like to go a week without dozens of stupid ones scurrying under my feet. No, the question is what to do with the whiny surplus.]



Email : out-to-luncheonnette@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i really couldnt give a toss if u go blind thru masterbation man, an if u let ur dick drip on my carpet u die.......

[Why are you letting him masturbate in your house? Go buy a plastic runner and shut the fuck up.]

One Liner:
u chattin me up? same species PUHLEEEZE!

[He should stick to his, but some guys like it on the wild side.]



[The Cereal Gang came back with even stupider material.]

Name: Im Lame

Email : whatisemail@Imanidiot.duh

UserID : wordpass

URL : yeah, my dick. hahahaha.

[Your dates were laughing, too.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
duh, I like to eat dog meat but not dog hearts

[Quit hogging the institution computer.]

One Liner:
duh, I like to eat you! Yes, you!

[Stick to cereal. I don't stay crispy in milk.]



Name: Gundanium Alloy

Email : Gundam@fakemetals.poo

UserID : wordpass

URL : yeah, my dick. hahahaha.

[I never get tired of that joke.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
duh, I like to eat dog meat but not dog hearts

One Liner:
duh, I like to eat you! Yes, you!

[I guess being inventive with cereal mascots took a lot out of him.]



Name: Tom Gren

Email : Tom@AndyDickSucks.poo

UserID : gasword

URL : mtv.com

[At least it's not a dick joke.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because my bum is on your lips, bum is on your lips. Look at me, my bum is on your lips. My bum is on your hips, bum is on your hips, it's a lot of fun to put your bum on some hips.

[Isn't that SlimShady's material? Yes, I realize that's a joke in itself.]

One Liner:
This is the tom green show, it's not the green tom show and I like to eat dead rabbits in public!

[Silly Tom, rabbits aren't for twits.]



Name: Princess Angel Bubbles

Email : SweetNSassy@69fuckwhores.sex

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate those wierd guys too! One guy told me he saw me in a dream! How wierd!

[Was the guy Toucan Sam?]

One Liner:
I don't have sex, I'm a virgin. Btw your brother wasn't any good in bed.

[Look on the bright side, this was his last application this week.]



Email : all numbers@37.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My really good friend and cousin was stabbed many times with a pen and has the scars to prove it because he woke me up in class.

[Sorry that he disturbed your nap.]

My boyfreind does exactly as I say when I say. He finds out he's in trouble when im' naked and he's more than ready to do it... and I get dressed and leave him in the middle of nowhere.

[Just like your sentences, left in the middle of nowhere. What do the end of your sentences have to do with the beginning?]

My boss learns not to piss me off when I say "fuck you" and through the damn pizza in his face, steal his money, and leave.

[There are easier ways to say "I quit!"]

My teacher learns that i'm really right when her tires are slashed and her windows are busted out.

[You're sure that you're not the one who stabbed your cousin?]

One Liner:
I'm a pmsing redhead...76% of the time.

[What color is your hair the other 24%?]



Email : boobies@boobies.boob

[Oh. You mean boob as in breast. Makes more sense MY way.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
im a man. i suck. deal. boooooooooobieeeeeeeees!

[The war cry of the involuntarily celibate and willfully stupid.]

One Liner:
I'm a man. I suck.

[You just suck.]



Email : sillygoddess@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I am soo sick of my friends bitching about how there boyfriends are soo mean to them. If he is that mean common sense will tell you to kick him in his worthless balls and walk away.

[Well, walk away at any rate.]

It pisses me off that girls act stupid for attention.

[You're living as an example here.]

I cant lift this or reach that because I want to look helpless so he'll pay attention to me! I'd rather break my own arm picking up something heavy than ask for help just to attract attention to myself.

[I'd rather ask for help if I really need it than break my arm proving a point to people who don't matter.]

I dont know why girls wear tight clothes when they know they're going to see guys...If he doesnt want to for your mind then whats the point?

[It's a matter of mind over matter. If you have no mind, then nothing really matters.]

He's just going to use you b/c he thinks he's going to get some because you dressed like a hoe to impress him!

[Wooden handle and all?]

I hate girls that sit around and wait for phone calls from guys and then cry when he doesnt call! Why are you waiting for that useless bag of scum to call anyway you should be out with your friends partying and having fun. P.S. When your boyfriend cheats on you...tell him the little slut has herpes!

[Which little slut do you mean? SHE didn't make a commitment to you.]

It gets them mad every time...I hope that rat bastard enjoyed his little trip to the clinic to get checked out for STD's.

[I think that should be standard procedure.]

One Liner:
I may be a heinous bitch but at least I'm good at something.

[No, you're good for nothing.]





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