Email : skjskj@flkf.com

[I'm totally fooled]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu 'uoiuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiu uoiuoi uo uouou uiouoiu

[This is like watching the ocean, or lava lamps. Hypnotic! The best thing is that it says the same thing UPSIDE DOWN. (Yes, I KNOW that the U's will turn into N's, but it says the same thing…nothing.)]

One Liner:
ui uiuoui ouoiu

[…I dream of rain…aaaaaiiiin!]

Email : it's really Elaine@btinternet.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I look our for number one, and if that means standing on other peoples fuckin toes or heads for that matter , then so be it. friends and men may come and go, but theres plenty more arseholes in the world that will put up with me.

[Go find one of those lucky people.]

YOUR ARE THE WEAKEST LINK..........GOODBYE

[Do tell.]

One Liner:
YOUR A LONG TIME DEAD, BUT THIS BITCH AINT EVER GONNA DIE!

[…of natural causes.]

Email : lottery@prodigy.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i can't stand whiny-ass babies, i will fight anybody, anytime, anywhere, and for any reason!

[You're a regular danger to yourself and others.]

One Liner:
When a guy tells me kiss him, that's my cue to do it,

[Oh, you just live for his whims, do you?]

if he tells me to suck his dick-that's my cue to kick it!

[How are you getting those confused?]

Email : captaindoof-o666@earthlink.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I work for the Federal Government with the agency dedicated to socialized prostitution; the Social Security Administration. After 10 years of catering and handing out "free" money, I've had it!!

[Then get some job skills and find a new job.]

We pay billions each year for drug addicts and alcoholics. We pay every lazy-ass, porch-monkey

[Porch monkey?]

who doesn't feel like getting a job, and who whines, "My back hurts! Pay me!"

[You live in a state that doesn't require a physician's report?]

We pay out thousands of bucks a month to households with single mothers who crank out kid after kid (the record I've seen is 14 kids) because Mom doesn't want to work,

[That's not Social Security. That's Social Services. There's a big difference. You should know that. You sound like yet another person on the tail end of the Welfare Reform wagon.]

and worse yet, she's the 3rd or 4th generation of welfare-leechs in her family tree. All the kids are by different fathers. All the kids are "disabled". And we do it because these baby machines refuse to attempt to provide for themselves or these hordes of mutant childen they crank out assembly line fashion, and because their only aspirations in life are that their sub-standard brood live long enough to be come the family's 5th generation of social parasites.

[This is a more complex problem than you've stated, however, the issue is whether you are Heartless Bitch material. This isn't helping you. Many people despise the poor.]

So, after 10 years of turning tricks as a socialized whore for Uncle Sam, I've come to a few conclusions.

[Nothing having to do with getting out of a job you don't like, however.]

A little adversity in life is good for you, and quite necessary. It thins out the gene pool. You're an alcoholic or drug addict? Great! Instead of paying you billions every year so you can run out and buy more drugs until your monthly check runs out, I think we should buy you all the drugs and alcohol you can use, and then some. We should hire people to make certain you keep shooting crap in your veins, even after you think you've had enough And when your stomach can't hold down anymore Mad Dog 20/20 or Ripple,

[Stop watching Sanford and Son. When's the last time you've seen "Ripple" on the shelves.]

let's hook you up to an I.V. and pump it directly into your bloodstream. You'll either kick the habit yourself after that, or you'll kick the bucket. Either way, it would be cheaper on the taxpayers than supporting you in substance abuse for the next 40 or 50 years, or however much time your miserable carcass has left.

[Capital punishment actually costs more, if you're worried about the price tag.]

As for you porch monkeys,

[There's no need to use racial slurs.]

three words: Get A Job Dumbass!!! (Sorry, that's four words.)

[You see it in print, yet don't correct it. Who's the Dumbass? In other words, instead of correcting it, you print a retraction.]

I don't give a flying horse's tit if your back DOES hurt! I'm supporting myself and my own family, and I'll be damned if I have anything extra left over to support yours.

[Where do you think some of your tax money goes? You don't even get to see it, so where's this "left over" rhetoric coming from? Have you considered the fact that if it wasn't for those welfare recipients you'd be unemployed? Think about it.]

Besides that, you claim you can't hold a job, but it sure as hell doesn't prevent you from applying for fishing and hunting licenses,

[You should be glad. Those months they require less food stamps.]

or from playing in the neighborhood Thanksgiving Day touch football game, or from jumping the bones of that under-aged girl next door. Here's an idea. You just sit there on your porch with your sore back or your sprained pinky finger or your phobia of doing productive work. I guarantee you, after a week or so of having nothing to eat, you'll find a way to earn come cash.

[Breaking into the homes of the wealthier has long been a second job option for the impoverished. It's not like they can't figure out where YOU live.]

And believe me, if you even think about breaking into my home and stealing from me, I own quite a nice collection of guns and would have not the slightest second thoughts about shooting your miserable butt.

[That's if you happen to be home at the time. Do you know how much a gun collection goes for on the street? A lot more than selling food stamps.]

And in case I only wing you (HIGHLY unlikely!) please keep in mind that I fully support the death penalty, and am all in favor of revising the penal code so as to abolish the appeals process and speed up justice.

[You probably don't know that many courts frown on the use of deadly force to protect possessions. You'd be among the people that you loathe.]

Now, you welfare moms, guess what? You, too, can find jobs. I've already raised and paid for my kids. I have no interest in paying for yours. If I'd wanted to pay for more kids, I'd have at least had the pleasure of conceiving them myself! You're the fourth welfare generation in your family, and as far as I'm concerned, you're going to be the last. Those programs were not created to give you and your entire family tree a free ride, but that's how you use them.

[Not once have you talked about the underlying problems, and I would think that someone working in the system would see the problems inherent in the system. How'd you wind up in social work anyway?]

Since not one of your dozen children has the same last name, and you seem inclined to sleep around like an alley cat

[Why wouldn't some of them have her last name, at least? Aren't you the one saying she's an alley cat? Seems like she wouldn't bother to get a name, much less give that name to the child. Why aren't you angry about the fathers of these children who aren't living up to their responsibilities?]

I think you should be required to go through mandatory sterilization. Society doesn't want to fund your slut-fest any longer. As for your existing children, a kid does not have Attention Deficit Disorder just because he/she is not paying attention in school.

[That isn't just an issue for welfare mothers.]

Here's a thought!!! Could it be that sending your kids off to school with a can of Coke in one hand and a Twinkie in the other for breakfast might have something to do with their inability to sit still? Your kids are wired on caffeine and sugar. Is it any WONDER the teachers can't get them to calm down?

[Of course, it probably has nothing to do with their unstable home lives and living through stigma and shame from dealing with people like you. What do you care about the life of that child, you already said that it's going to be a next generation welfare recipient. Hell, why waste time with school since they're going to sit on their butts all day and collect a check.]

They aren't keeping up with their school work? Here's another idea. Why don't you go take a free community class in adult reading and learn to read yourself.

[Think about it. How do you find out about those classes when you can't read?]

Then, how about sitting down with your kids in the afternoons when they get home and helping them work through the homework?

[You just said that they were illiterate. How are they supposed to help, according to your argument? If they had a job, how would they find time in the afternoons? You're a bundle of contradictions, and you expect single mothers to be Superwomen.]

Try turning off the free cable TV the government is paying for in your behalf,

[That's a new one. I understand that you can get your car repaired, or daycare, but free cable? Where do I sign up?]

and insist that the kids do their schoolwork BEFORE they start goofing off. Use your head for something besides cocaine recepticle. Like I said, I already raised and paid for my kids. Now you pay for yours. YOU had them, afterall!

As a slave of the government, I thank you!

[You're not a slave. Use YOUR head for something other than a bullshit storage unit. Quit your cryin', you little baby. You're on the government tit. You've got ridiculous holidays off, job security, you're overpaid for what you do, and if you're up against a payroll cap, think about why you're not being promoted.]

One Liner:
Darwin was right. The gene pool thins itself out. If you don't give a damn about yourself, don't expect me to bust my ass taking care of you.

[You're not busting your ass. You're sitting on it filing papers and griping at the coffee machine. You are compensated for what you do, and without those ignorant masses, you would be out of a job. There are two types of social workers, those who love their jobs and those who wind up there because they can't find a job in their field. Why didn't you make the cut?]

I guess you're about to be "thinned".

[If that were true, wouldn't there be LESS welfare generations, not more?]

Name: In Cognito

Email : Fake@Imadethisup.poo

UserID : Isuck

[Yup.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
duh. uh.

I wanna be a heartless bitch because then the vampire will stop pulling my heart out and showing it to me while it's still beating.

duh uh the zombie already pulled out me brain.. gwah....

[Sure it did. Like we believe you've got a brain.]

One Liner:
Isn't heartless bitchiness just satanism minus the religious and superstitious aspects?

[It's more like feminism minus the political hive mind.]

It's like so obvious that it's about individuality and individual responsibility and nothing else.

[Individual responsibility reminds you of Satanism?]

Email : the Wedding Attender@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
99.9% of the wedding invites I recieve I chuck soon after writing down time, date, and directions(takes but a minute).

[Even quicker to save the invitation if you plan to attend, then discard it when done.]

I generally hate weddings, and all the gross rituals that go along with, like: bad poetry, DJs playing songs by Chicago circa 1980, "I remember" toasts, and the "I married my best friend" speech. Give me a break!

[So why attend, Ms Passive-aggressive?]

One Liner:
Nice? What does that mean?

[Someone who attends the parties without complaining about them.]

Email : co-dependent@napanet.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm blunt and to the point and while I don't go out of my way to offend, I don't particularly give a shit if I do. And as I told my ex, "If you decide to hit me, just remember that you taught me how to load, shoot, and clean your gun, and my father WILL help me hid the body".

[You can do nothing without help from men.]

One Liner:
Jump up my fucking ass!! You know, the quieter you are, the smarter you sound, so shut the fuck up!!

[Your ass has already reached maximum capacity. It's chock full o'shit.]

Email : can't argue with that@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I get what I want when I want it even if I dont know what it is.

One Liner:
I get what I want when I want it even if I dont know what it is.

[The essence of rationalization.]

Email : idiot99@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Everyone says so... I especially enjoy it when my employees end up in the President's office crying because I am so mean to them. I also enjoy belittling the other managers at work and telling on them.

[Question: What happens to tattlers when they grow up?]

One Liner:
Bitch, its not a name its a lifestyle

[Neither of which apply to you.]

[Tragic bookends:]

Email : lefty@amazon.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was not born this way but was birthed

[There's a difference?]

this way thanks to one righty. She has helped to shape me into what I am!!!!!!

One Liner:
Being myself

[AKA: One half of a mighty dull duo.]

Email : righty@worldnet.att.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was born with this awsome inner quality and come by all of it naturally. Of course lefty helps me out here and there!!!!!!!!

One Liner:
Being myself

[Aren't you tired of dragging that dead weight around?]

Email : Lamer@ntlworld.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was going to take my time on this, however, I figure that a genuine off the cuff submission would be far more appropriate,

[Appropriate doesn't mean "sucky."]

as for any "smelling pisstakes" I can't be bothered to go back and check.

[Yeah, you're just too busy to care.]

Spelling and grammar are an indication only that you know how to click on the spellchecker that was installed with your word processing package, big deal, intelligence is not measured by one's ability to click on a menu.

[It could be argued that intelligence is measured by one's complaints regarding its use.]

Conversely the lack of ability to click on one is a very good indication as to that persons lack of intellect, not to mention manual dexterity.

[Talking out of both sides of your mouth won't help you. Next time, get on with the meat of your application.]

anyway, I'd like to join you, if I'm "the right stuff" let me know.

[You won't need a spellchecker to figure this one out.]

One Liner:
A Cattle prod often succeeds in leaving a lasting impression even if you don't !

[So does a beating about the neck and ears.]

[From the Pukefest files:]

Eggs,cause I think of boogers ana cum.Sorry dont like to eat that.

[Thanks so much for stopping by.]

Email : freaknastynursie@rn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a heartless bitch because I can be.I have no need to explain myself ,unless I feel suited.

[Goes without saying.]

I am actually writting this to bitch.A month or so ago I turned in a pefectly applicable application

[It was applicable. It just wasn't any good.]

to be a part of your bitch board.It is now two to three months past ,I have yet to recieve a response.

[Can you think of a place where you MIGHT have heard something? Hmm?]

One Liner:
I think outloud

[Just like when you read.]

Email : weiner@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
WELL FIRST OFF MY NICKNAME IS THE BITCH,JUST THAT ALONE SHOULD TELL YOU A LITTLE ABOUT MYSELF.

[That your friends don't like you?]

I PICKED UP THIS NICKNAME BECAUSE APPARTENELY I 'M A BITCH.

[Naw. It's because you're a pain in the ass, and they knew you wouldn't answer to that.]

I DON'T TOLLERATE MUCH WHEN IT COMES TO PUTTING UP WITH EITHER GENDER. WOMEN THAT CAN'T STAND TO GET DIRT UNDER THEIR FINGERNAILS OR WHO HAVE TO PUT ON A FULL FACE OF MAKEUP JUST TO GO TO THE POSTOFFICE ARE TO ME DULL UNINTERESTING AND PROBABALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN.

[I can see how the way other people dress can rank high on your priority list.]

I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE WHOM CAN NOT DRIVE, OR THOSE THAT CHATTER FREELY ON THE PHONE WHILE DOING SO. I DONT TOLERATED THOSE WHOM DO NOT RESPECT LIFE ,EXSPECIALLY THOSE WHO SHOW NO, OR VERY LITTLE RESPECT TO CHILDREN,THE ELDERLY,AND ANIMALS.I AM A FIRM BELEIVER IN RETALETATION EXSPECAILLY TO THOSE DESERVED OF IT! TOTAL IGNORENCE I CAN HANDLE BECAUSE I KNOW THEIR ARE SOME PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHOM ARE SIMPLY STUPID AND IT CAN'T BE HELPED. ON THE OTHER HAND THOSE WHOM LACK IN COMMON SENSE SHOULD BE PUT OUT OF THEIR MISSERY. WOMEN WHOM ABANDON TEIR

[More often than not, I overlook bad spelling in general, but…damn.]

CHILDREN LEAVING GRANDMA TO RAISE THEM,TAKING AWAY THE GRANDPARENT/GRANDCHILD RELATIONSHIP,WHICH SUCKS FOR BOTH.

One Liner:
GIVE ME MY WORK, LEAVE ME ALONE,AND GO AWAY. OR FUCK FIGHT OR HOLD THE LIGHT.

[It's fuck, fight, or hit the fence. "Hold the light" may rhyme, but it doesn't represent the third option.]

Email : carellmbuncha numbers@aol.com

[I find this funny because she changed the spelling of her name, and still got to be one of ten thousand.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a nice, quiet person. I'm seldom rude, even when it's warranted, but some people really know how to piss me off. When they've pushed me so far, I start pushing back, and they quickly find out, I'm not a bitch to be messed with!

[Let's see what she means by this.]

My boyfriend and I had been together for about 5 years and I knew him well. When he started being helpful to the new, single neighbor, without even being asked, like fixing her broken mailbox lock, I knew what was up. He had the hots for her!

[So what does she do about that? Nothing.]

I had put up with a lot from him already throughout the years, besides supporting him,

[That should have told you something.]

but I didn't think he'd even go as far as to try to put the make on the neighbor right next door (duplex type townhouse apartments-the neighbor's door is about 5 feet from mine), while living with me.

[So how did you know what was up? Obviously, this behavior from him wasn't alien to you.]

Turns out, I was right! His aunt and uncle lived on the other side of this neighbor, and one day my boyfriend informed me he was moving out of my place and in with them. That was a first!

[Good riddance!]

I'd always had to kick him out before to get rid of him.

[And you took him back, over and over again. You must have been dick-ma-tized.]

Besides, who was going to buy his beer and cigarettes, and feed him every night if he moved out?

[Who cares? You're not his mama.]

Apparently, he'd already solved that problem. He was planning on having a new girlfriend very soon. The Neighbor! That night I observed him outside the apartments, having a beer and joking with the neighbor. Same things he'd said to me when we were first getting to know each other.

[That song is familiar. Why shouldn't he sing it again? It worked on you.]

I swear he must have been reading his lines from the same book he'd used with me. After a while she went into her apartment and he went in to his aunt and uncles. The night was over... The next morning I hear voices outside. I look out, guess who? Yes, there they were, and he was really seeming to enjoy himself. Laughing and talking up a storm.

[You fell into his trap. Nothing like having new pussy, unless it's making the old pussy mad about it at the same time. He's having the best of both worlds, and you enable that.]

This went on all day and into the early evening hours.

[And you had nothing better to do than torment yourself with it?]

That must have been the day that I became a HEARTLESS BITCH!

[No, you just got mad and vindictive. You've got a ways to go to reach that goal. You've got to be willing to leave him behind forever. You'd do well to read a few rants here, like this, and that. Especially this one.]

After listening to this all day and practically knowing what was coming next, my heart took flight! I knew he had a warrant for his arrest!

[He had a warrant when he lived with you, why not turn him in THEN, Ms. Civic-Minded?]

The police station was about 5 blocks away. I got on the phone, the police were here in maybe 10 minutes.

[You must live in a shitty neighborhood. I live about 3 miles from the station and they get here in about that time. With your history, maybe you call them too much, and that's why they delay answering you.]

I told them exactly where he was at outside when I called, so they went right up to him, said his name, put the cuffs on him, and was leading him to the police car when I opened my apartment door. I stood there laughing at him before I grabbed my camera and snapped a couple pictures!!! Hot damn, did he love that!

[Like they weren't going to take pictures of him when he got to the station.]

Talk about making my day, hell, that made my whole year. We got back together eventually,

[You get what you deserve, then. Do you still show him those pictures?]

his aunt and uncle moved out, the neighbor moved out, and we lived happily... NOT!!!

[When ARE you going to wise up and stop wasting your life on a loser relationship? Don't you think that you deserve better?]

No happily ever after, not even close.

[You forfeited all complaining rights when you let him back in.]

He did move back in, and we've been 'together' for almost nine years total, but as of about 3 months ago, I haven't let him move back in.

[…yet. I'll bet you're back together by now, however.]

You know, it's bad enough when someone thinks they can repeatedly cheat on you and lie to you about it, but when they do it right in front of you and think your too stupid to figure it out,

[He didn't think you were stupid. He just didn't give a fuck. It's not like he went around asking himself, "does she know?" He didn't care if you did. He was right.]

it's time to be a HEARTLESS BITCH, AND BE PROUD OF IT!!!

[Lesson learned: He can do what he damned well wants because you'll always take him back, support him, care for him, and shelter him.]

One Liner:
Can't stand stupid, cheating liars who think I'm a dumb blonde who doesn't know what's going on!!!

[You can't stand them SO much, you live with them off and on for nine years.]

Email : bitch whatever@copybitches.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
being a bitch is my day job

[How much does it pay?]

i love being a bitch and i cop heaps of grief and have had eenough so i thort

[Prove that you think.]

being a bitch to those that cause me grief makes me feel a hole lot better{o¿o}

[Lord have mercy on her ignorant soul.]

One Liner:
wicked bitch thats me

[Senseless bitch is closer.]

Email : gold digger@discoveryhealth.co.za

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm the type of girl who is tired of people who are always whinning about life and all sorts of shit. Damn life is not easy for anyone and you just have to make the most of it. So if I have to step on a few toes to get what I want so be it. I hate guys who look all raggady and have no cash no clout and think can step to me.

[Why can't they see that you're only after the dollar? You should try telling them how much you cost right up front.]

People say I'm materialistic but why the fuck should I spend mine when I can spend his? What the fuck is wrong with using my feminine charms to get what I want?

[Your advertising is what's wrong. If you're for sale, you should just let people know and save everyone a bit of time.]

I am the 'Suprenme Bitch'

[So when I hear that there's a blue light special on Suprenme Bitches, I'll know that's you.]

One Liner:
My time is priceless and if you moneyless then this bitch gotta go!

[This is almost funnyless.]

Email : momma licker@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
im a heartless BITCH because I am the BITCH I hate FUCKING IDIOTS to look at me they PISS me off. when a person looks at me I call them a RETARTED CUNT and tell them to go LICK there MOMMA"s ASS. and if you don't like it you can go lick your MOMM'S ASS you FUCKING CUNT!!!!!!!!!!

[You must be a joy to pass on a crowded street. You can't buy that kind of entertainment.]

One Liner:
I call them a RETARTED CUNT

[If I didn't know better, I'd suspect a pun.]

and tell them to go LICK there MOMM"S ASS!!!!!!

[You must have a great insurance coverage.]