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Jan 13, 2002
Jan 6, 2002
1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 9, 2001
edited by JadeSyren





Email : what-a-maroon@hotmale.com

URL : lyk, wut is dat?!?!

[We get the message. This is fake, but it's a GOOD fake.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
ly, omg, itz, lyk, TOTULEE genetik & shtuffiez. LOL! mY MuMzIe wuz @ TOOOTUL heartless bee-yatch n, lyk, i TOTULEE take after her. LOL! LMAO! Lyk, mY ex-boifriend sent me dis linkee & told meh i wuz TOTULEE materiul 4 ur klub so i lyk chekked arownd & wuz lyk "WOAH!!! dese chickiez R mY SOUL SISTAHZ!" lol!!!!1 we hav, lyk, so0o0o0o much in commun it iz, lyk, not evin FUNNAY! omg n, lyk, if u dont let me in or put my in da ST00PID weak of da week page, mY, lyk, haX0r BOI-EE will lyk, TOTULEE hak u!!1 lol!!!!11 nah, i woodnt do dat, im just playin witchoo MIIIIIND bee-yatch! lol!! lyk n e wayz, dis 1 time mY best friend janey told me i wuz lyk STOOPID b-cuz shez TOTULEE lyk jellis b-cuz im lyk TOTULEE much mor, lyk, BEE-YOO-TIFUL n lyk smat n lyk every1z jellis n i wuz lyk "chek it! dubble dek it! y'all bettah prepair 4 a BEET-DOWN, BEEEEE-YATCH!!!" n lyk we TOTULEE got in dis huuuuuuuge fite n lyk i wood hav 1 but i wuz, lyk, TOTULEE tirrred b-cuz i just, lyk, HAKKED OFF MAH LAST BOIZ "PEE-PEE"!!1 n i wuz, lyk, tired so she, lyk, rammmed mY hed in2 da grownd n lyk spit on me n told me she nevah lyked me, so lyk da nexXxt dday i sedoosed hur BOI n HAKKED OFF HIS PEE-PEE~!!! LOL!!!1 n lyk i KILLED HUR! omg i swar 2 gawd i did n im lyk onlee tellin u b-cuz u R mY SOUL SISTAHZ n i lub u alreddy! LOL! so lyk, dis other time i lyk pushed my gramma down the starez n lyk told hur she wuz a wurthless old KUNT n she wuz lyk n IDIET n lyk she dyed and shtuff.........which is kindu shad but lyk...owell....OOH!!11 i kant afford a lyk AOL emale or n e thing but i ken giv u mah stoopid BOIZ naym if u need it 2 acsept me b-cuz i m TOTULEE ur kind o BEE-YATCH!! lol!! n i m lyk soo0o0o0o0o0 smart n wity lyk every1 kallz me QWEEN BITCH in mY town n thay lyk BOW to me! lol!! i m so0o0o0o0o kewliez n so0o0o0o0o0o populer n i lyk want a kard 2 PROOV i m a tru blu BITCH! omg did u heer aaliyah died?!!? i think all o uz bitchez should take a lyk moment of silens b-cuz she wuz so0o0o0o0 KEWLIEZZ!!!1 n e wayz, i gotzta go but ill lyk make shur 2 writ mor if u need it! LOL! MEN SUCK AZZ!!!!!!!!111

One Liner:
if you dun't watch out ill cut off yer PEE-PEE!!!1 LOL!

[Anyone that tries this hard deserves special notice. Take a bow.]



Email : M-I-C@excite.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
HATE WEAK PPL .........WHINERS .......MOUSEY MEN.....CAN BITCH WITH THE VERY BEST OF THEM

[It's got a good rhythm, and you can dance to it, but the lyrics are so banal that I'll have to shoot the singer.]

One Liner:
DON'T FUCK WITH ME IF UR A WHINER

[You're fair game to anyone else?]



Email : trapped in monkey house@excite.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm surrounded by monkeys who do nothing more in life than fling their poo at me. Keep your poo to yourself!

[She's got enough of her own!]

One Liner:
You've mistaken me for someone who cares.

[No, just someone who takes shit.]



Email : whine@white-star.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
stop asking so many questions and let me in!!!!!!!

[Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin]

One Liner:
well....my mom always told me not to put small things in my mouth that i can choke on....and that is all i ever get

[Not unusual when you date guys your own age, junior miss.]



Email : cartoon character@home.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate whiners & men that wont take no for an answer & stupid people that think that they are the only ones that have hard times

[Not too bad.]

One Liner:
i hate liars so i am super bitch tornadoe Dummy

[Her super powers are flying through the air and stunning you with her stupidity.]



Email : downhill slide@ufl.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have had people tell me that I was way too opinionated, have a bad attitude, and that I am a real bitch, and my response was basically "Fuck You! If you gotta problem with it then you can get the hell out of my way" Guys are the only people I know that can deal with with my personality but sometimes they don't even know what the to do when I'm "expressing" my opinions

[You call it expressing your opinions, the rest of us call it being in serious need of mental attention, ya fuckin' whackjob.]

I don't even need to tell you about myself anyways this don't mean a thing to me anyways. who needs to get accepted into something to know that they are a Heartless Bitch. What the fuck, weak bitches if you think you are heartless and need to confirm that idea online then you should go shoot yourself for being that weak.

[Yet there you sat, typing away to us, then clicking "submit."]

Shit, and who ever thought of this fuckin' site needs to get a life.

[Even over the people who think this way and STILL apply?]

One Liner:
Fuck You! And go to hell!

[At once! Just tell me where you live.]



Email : what did you say?@PACBELL.NET

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'M A VERY HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE ANY MALE THAT GETS WITHIN MY EYESIGHT, IS MINCE MEAT! BECAUSE WHEN I'M AROUND I WILL FUCK WITH THEIR MEANINGFUL MINDS

[Did you really mean to use "meaningful" there?]

UNTIL I'M VERY SATISFIED THAT THEY BECOME VERY QUIET, AND AFTER THEY LEAVE THEY CALL MY HUSBAND TO MAKE SURE THAT I WON'T TELL THEIR WIFE ANYTHING.

[You're portraying yourself as this awesome, ball-crushing bitch who answers to her husband?]

AFTER THEY GET HOME, THEIR MINDS ARE SO FUCKED THAT THEY FEEL LIKE ITS A RESPONSIBLITY TO CONFESS THEIR WORST SECRET TO THEIR WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS, THAT THEY PLEAD N BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, THAT THEIR MINDS ARE CORRUPTED FOR THE REST OF THEIR SHORT LIVED LIVES. IT'S THE WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS WHO STRIVE ON THIS TO REALLY SEE HOW THEIR MAN REALLY ARE.

[It's not enough for you that what you have to say is utterly stupid, oh no, you had to write it all with the CAPS LOCK on.]

One Liner:
LIFE'S TOO SHORT- FUCK YOU!!!!

[I'm going to tell your husband that you were cussing on the internet.]



[From the Pukefest files:]

People who have all the answers about raising children and don't even HAVE children. And better still, the people who have children YOUNGER than yours trying to tell you how to deal with problems they have YET to encounter!! Give me a freaking break!!

[While experience DOES lend itself to more wisdom, you don't have to actually step in shit to know it stinks. Don't toss sound advice because you don't like the source.]



Email : thief@salisbury.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I AM NO LONGER TACTFUL NOR ELOQUENT AT 35!!!

[Surely it wasn't as recent as that?]

I'VE TAKEN MY PLACE IN A MALE DOMINATED WORKFORCE; WHILE THEY WERE STARING AT MY CURVY BUTT AND LEGS I WAS STUDYING THEIR FILES AND SPREADSHEETS. YEA, I STOLE A FEW WEAK IDEAS AND MADE THEM BETTER, BUT NOW THEY WATCH MY PRETTY RED LIPS BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS !!! NOW MY BOSSES ARE WORRIED!!!

[Of course they are. They've got to grow eyes in the back of their head just to protect their ideas. If you're so much better, think up your OWN stuff.]

INSECURE MEN AND WOMEN EITHER AVOID ME OR TAG ALONG ON MY COAT TAILS. I AM NOT A ROCK STAR NOR ACTRESS AND I DON'T NEED GROUPIES!!! I WORK HARD,I PLAY HARD,AND I LOVE WITH EQUAL AMOUNT OF EFFORT. MEN HAVE TRIED AND MEN HAVE FAILED BUT TO LOWER MY STANDARDS

[...would be impossible.]

WOULD BE TO RAISE MY HANDICAP!!!SORRY GUYS!!!

[They would have to be.]

One Liner:
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A BITCH/IF YOU DO THATS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!

[Heartless Bitches don't resort to corporate theft.]



Email : sorta downright mean@Altanainc.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I made a pregnant woman lift a computer monitor that was 5 months

[...old?]

One Liner:
Dont hate the player hate the game ,Don't ask me

[...because you don't know either.]



[And again.]

Email : sorta downright mean@Altanainc.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I made a pregnant woman lift a computer monitor that was 5 months due

[Was it backordered?]

because she was bitching to much

[She should have thrown it at your head. Don't arm those you are punishing.]

One Liner:
Dont hate the player hate the game ,Don't ask me Bitch

[What were you doing the FIRST time you sent this?]



Email : Dr. Jones@msn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I crave reality. I crave people that don¡¯t create false realities and live with self-deceit.

[You and me both.]

I can't stand boring people. who are the boring people you ask? The ones that don¡¯t know who the hell they are and don¡¯t attempt to find their grail,

[Their Holy Grail? Indy? Let it go, son.]

the ones that think life is about making money and being rich, possessions making up for lack of character. boring is not taking risks and adventure when it¡¯s staring at you in the face. Boring is being afraid and scared of what people think. Boring is not copping a smile at the silly and mundane. Boring is not grabbing Life by the neck, slamming it against the wall, breathing heavily in its ear and saying, ¡°you¡¯re mine for the taking Bitch!¡±

[Okay, I was with you until you started smacking Life around like it stole something from you. Don't rape Life, man.]

life's a Bitch, and if you don't stop to live it, you're BORING.

[Well, dead anyway.]

I choose life.

[Yeah, well, keep raping and slapping life around and see what hand you'll be dealt. Oh no! It's a non-fatal head-on collision. No wild cards.]

I choose to be the Bitch. The Heartless Bitch with no sympathy for the weak minded.

One Liner:
I REFUSE to cling to my pretentious Prada bag life it's my fucking life!

[Life. It's not worth living unless it's got two black eyes and a busted leg.]



Email : i-luv-my@badattitudeproblem.com

UserID : imisshim

[This had better be your dog.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
cos i am a total bitch 2 my mum.

[Sounds like you could use some correction.]

i hate the world. i hate life and friendship, love and romance cos it sux!

[Break up with your boyfriend? Here, have an identity.]

One Liner:
my next mood swing will be in 6 minutes.

[Why? Is that when you'll pick up the phone to make sure it's got a dial tone?]



Email : needledick@heartlessbitch.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a heartless bitch because i can laugth and skit at people. I hav also once when i was shaggin a girl did her up the ass with out ne lubrication

[That's because you've got the bug-fucker, NeedleDick.]

One Liner:
i can be cruel and ruthless.

[You'd have to be. I would, if God had played such a harsh joke on MY genitals.]



Email : keychain collector@bigpond.com`

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
expressions I live by everyday.....
"CAN WE DO THIS ANOTHER TIME?? YOU ARE BORING THE BITCH OUT OF ME"

"SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED.....I'M NOT!"

"NEXT BITCH SESSION....6 MINUTES"

"HOW CAN I MISS YOU...IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?"

One Liner:
"GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE.....WHO GIVES A RATS ARSE?'"

[Can you just envision the size of her keyring. I'll bet it looks like a miniature morning star, studded with all those keychains.]



Email : vandal@manchester.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
* I once took a water bottle of a person I did not like and I wiped the mouth of it up and down fly paper. Yes, there were dead flies on it. And yes, they drank out of it.
* I have no problem telling you to your face what I think about you (even if it's bad).

[So how'd you convince that person to drink from the tampered water bottle once you told them that's what you did?]

* I have a tendency to put odd bumper stickers on annoying people's vehicles.

[That's a lot to pay to exact vengeance on a stranger.]

One Liner:
Plain and simple: Don't fuck with me.

[I'm just wondering how you got the flypaper unstuck from the bottle without wearing it yourself.]



Email : too damned lazy@smith.alumnae.net

UserID : courtesy

URL : No, fucker!!!!!!!!

[Anyone else see irony?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Just trust me.

[Sure, my check's in the mail.]

I'm a bitch. I have no reason for some lame-ass college admissions-like essay,

[If it were about what YOU wanted, then this would matter to me.]

so pick up the pace, biotches! Enough said.

[...to get you here.]

One Liner:
See above. Can you read?

[Have you written anything worthwhile?]



Email : cookiejarvis@onetel.net.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I dont give a fuck if men shout things at me in the street because I'll just shout back.Fucking tossers.I'd like to be able to walk down the street and not have my tits stared at by every bit of walking testosterone that walks past.

[Do women like you ever think how egotistical this kind of thinking is? Like EVERY bit of walking testosterone is looking at your tits? Not the gay ones.]

It's not that I don't like my men,I've got a lovely boyfriend who treats me well and I love him but I also fucking hate him,basically because he is male.

[...and you're sociopathic...or just young and stupid.]

Basically give me a bloke with a gob and a gut and I'd gladly kick the living shit out of him.

[Then you'd whine about how it's not okay to beat a woman when he hits you back.]

One Liner:
U fuck with me and I'll fuck with u harder.So don't fuck with me if u think you're hard.cos I'll kill u

[Well, alrighty then.]



[Once is DEFINITELY enough.]

Email : cookiejarvis@onetel.net.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My qualities are that I fucking detest this world and pretty much everything about it.Not because I dont enjoy living but for fucks sake why are there so many arrogant fucking tossers in this world?

[Because they have a strong sense of self-preservation?]

I go down town to do my shopping and I get shoved and pushed.What?! Am I fucking invisible or something?!?! Sad little 11 year old girls and boys are looking at me like they want to mug me and people look at me like I'm shit!

[What color is the sky in YOUR world?]

Who the fuck do they think they are? Do they know me? No they fucking don't! If they fucking knew me and they look at me like shit then I couldn't really give a shit!I wanna bite through my bottom lip and scream sometimes when I go shopping it's like everyone has a problem with someone. Nothing in this world is happy

[If you're not part of the solution....]

anymore everyone is a fucking arsehole because thats they way life is! Life is a big stinking fucking ugly bitch but hey?..Wot can u do? I know lets give everyone we see evil looks and try and start fights with people we don't know..that are obviously alot harder us.Lets cause a variety of little pathetic hostile wars in our neighbourhoods so we can all be happy people!!! Lets make life the bitch of all bitches. One big huge mother fucking cock sucking bitch.! I always give as good as I get and believe me if anyone looks at me the wrong way they fucking get their eyes burned out with 1000's of red hot needles,if

[Where do you keep thousands of red hot needles? What's the population in your town?]

anyone fucks with me or hurts me then I'll make them suffer.longer... harder..more painfully

[…the six million dollar whiner.]

and they will feel it burning through their souls.I don't feel anything for anyone because no one feels anything for me.

[All kidding aside, show this application to someone you trust.]

One Liner:
I won't give a fuck about you if you don't give a fuck about me.So u tell me u don't care and I won't give a fuck!

[You don't have the courage to give a fuck.]



Email : bewildered@and how.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
This is gonna be easy...

[Think so?]

I,m a heartless bitch b/c I couldn't care less about what people say anymore.I

[This should be relatively painless, then.]

nodd and nodd but all I,m thiking is "who the fuck cares, it's certainly not me". If they don't realize that their situation could be resolved by them shutting up and actually attempting to fix it then I certainly can't spell it out any clearer for them.

[You haven't spelled anything out. You said that you just nod.]

It's drives me up a wall!! I'm trying to make it here, never mind helping them and they're insignificant problems!!

[You've got a full plate already.]

One Liner:
I wish I could care just enough to help ya...too bad

[A blessing in disguise.]



Email : flounce@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
why in the hell dont you jsut aprrove my damm memebership and stop giving me a hard time,

[Because it sucks.]

its only obvious that im a bitch if a want to join you.

[It's obvious that you want to join, at any rate.]

and as far as me putting in my qualities, why?

[How else would I keep out the riff-raff?]

just dont fuck with me, be my friend in this or screw you just like everybody else that makes me sick lately.

[I've got all the friends I need.]

One Liner:
the fact that we dont take shit! and are willing to fight.

[For our right...to exclude you!]



Email : lmaoooo@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well...when your own mother tells ya that you have "Big Balls" & that she wishes she was more like you (as far as being an opinionated person )

[So you're the cream of the crop in your family of sheep. Bah.]

this alone      lmaoooo      is more then enough I guess !!

[You have chosen...poorly.]

One Liner:
Probably such a bitch that the Devil himself would throw me out due to the ear burnings he would recieve      lol      other

[You honestly think that your repartee is hotter than Hell? If his ears ain't crispy from living in Hell….]

then that you would have to ask the hubby that one lmaoooo    :  he

["lmaoooo?" You aren't a family of sheep. You're a herd of cattle.]

is better at telling ya when I am a bitch !!

[SOMEbody's got to be verbal in your clan.]

     :0) Go Figure huh !

[Yes, I've got figuring covered. You just handle the "go" part.]



Email : toy for grabs@aol

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i honor and obey all female godesses

[So long as we don't ask you to spell them, you'll be okay, right?]

One Liner:
i will submit ,i will obey

[Here's your first command: Go away.]



Email : Pre Law, my ass@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate women who worry about there nails there hair but they smell like fish

[Get your nose out of their private(s) business.]

Men who believe thier looks and money can get me. As A Pre Law Student

[If by Pre Law you mean still in community college....]

men who think that a women like me who IS in total control will be weak at the knees.

[Okay, but what does this have to do with you being a (snicker) Pre Law student?]

Basically everybody that shops when I do, go home. I look fine in dresses by I still wear the pants. All my husbands friends can go to hell. All people from all walks of life can do the same. Whiney snobby God DO I really have to go into detail???

[No, you can spare me.]

One Liner:
If u dont like me, FUCK U

[Probably the name of your school.]



Email : starstruck@minet.gov.mb.ca

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am only eighteen, but my absolute favorite celebrity is Janeane Gorafalo (and has been for the past few years).

[Liking Janeane Garofalo doesn't make you a bitch.]

One Liner:
JANEANE GORAFALO KICKS ASS!!!

[Okay, And...?]



Email : rash@juno.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have zero tolerance of paining males or females, I woould rather here a pig die. Ii have had ove a hundred "boy-friends" not one deserve to be called my man, thery were ignorant, self-involved, or just made me feel sick to my damn stomach. I would just love to make a man happy, happy enough to jump out of a 5th floor window. Winy women make my heart itch,

[I'll bet that shit's hard to scratch. Try giving yourself chest punches like Tarzan. Might help.]

worring about there mini problems like nails, hair, and make-up...uhhhh-h

[Tarzan yells with more gusto. It makes the chest cavity tremble and stops the itch.]

shut up damn-it.

[Good idea.]

One Liner:
A bitch in the morning and the same bitch at night, nothing changes but the weather. suck it up or be put down.

[Anybody know what a "paining" male or female is?]



Email : just a jerk@indabox.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well no, im not a heartless bitch,im a guy that wants to tell you bitches whats up.

[Whazzup! Nope, it's NOT any smarter when you do it.]

One Liner:
I repeat, i am not a bitch and i hate all bitches,thank you.

[You're welcome.]



[From the mailbag:]

From: screwsarah@hotmail.com>

Email : reality conflict@juno.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because......
* I am absolutely perturbed by our society's desire to magnify the female anatomy, as nothing more than 3 reasonably

[Reasonably?]

sized orifices, of which the penis can be inserted into.

[You can't insert a penis INTO tits.]

Maybe next time you start to rip on someone YOU should think before you speak. If you've spent time on the internet surfing you would understand the three orifices she is talking about in her letter. Vagina, rectum, mouth. All can take a penis.

[While I admit this isn't my finest work, spend some time thinking about where this comes from.

This person (probably you) said that society MAGNIFIES, as in ENLARGENS, female anatomy as nothing more than 3 reasonably sized orifices.

Which of the following sentences have YOU heard men say?

"Damn, my girl can fit my cock AND balls into her reasonably sized, magnified mouth."
"Damn, honey, that asshole of yours provides no friction for me, baby."
"My woman has the LARGEST pussy!"
"Lookit the size o' dem hooters!"

The males in our society who would REDUCE women to mere sockets, would not MAGNIFY their orifices, but DO enhance breasts. In other words, the orifices themselves are minimized, while the only thing magnified on a woman are her breasts. Your...er...friend was on WotW not for "improperly" counting orifices, but incorrectly defining their size. The bigger the better...er, for the most part.

From "TeenScene" (a parody of "self-help" for teens) : "If you are a girl then your hips and breasts will start to grow. When you finally become a woman your breasts should appear exactly as they do in the picture."

As I said, not my finest hour, but hardly inaccurate.

And from the Head Bitch herself:

I think SHE is missing the point. Few men spend time trying to "magnify" vaginas on women. Don't they want them smaller and tighter...?

Sheesh! Some people.]



From: "Top Secret" unknownjerk@hotmail.com

Subject: lessons for unbitchyness

Hey there sloppy tits,

[Here we go.]

Now Bon Bon, are you that frustrated that you need a site full of your femist bullshit?

[If your company is the alternative, I'd sooner read stereo instructions.]

Listen sister, the whole bra burning, 70's retro bullshit is so fucken cliche.

[I'm so glad that you told me. Here I was readying my "Super Freak-Out" kit.]

I mean, if your man left you for a hotter, brainless bimbo then tough shit.

[What do you mean left? We can't seem to get rid of creeps like you. You cling like shit in fur. By ALL means, go out and find a brainless bimbo.]

ITs about time you moved on there princess and found a new avenue, stop blaming your father, he can't hurt you now.

[Was there a sale on worn-out troll commentary?]

Sure, i like low iqs, and big tits, and a tight ass,

[See there, Sarah. Even THIS creep knows that you MAGNIFY tits, and keep a tight, small ass-and other orifices.]

but don't hate me because i am shallow.

[You've given us an array of your more despicable qualities to choose from.]

Maybe if you did your job as a bitch, and stoped acting like a dizzy bitch, then you might get more cock.

[As it is we get more dick than we need. Care to borrow some?]

Put some makeup on, show your leggs,

[Buy 'em by the dozen.]

and do positions we men like in the sack,

[Let me get my strap-on.]

laugh at my jokes like a 2 dollar whore.

[Why do you buy a whore to laugh at your jokes? Are you THAT unfunny, man?]

I mean seriously doll face, this whole para military, tough females, with bigger cocks then the men routine is played out, and you lost.

[Hey, our cocks are BIGGER. We won!]

Take that strap on off, and stop acting like a muff licker on crack.

[Are we selling you your stereo for five dollars?]

This is all for your benefit, and i am only trying to help a nieve little missy find her path back to being a subbmissive lady.

[Go see if your momma's interested.]

Follow these three things and you shall succeed.

[Suck seed, anyway.]

Be my bitch when i want sex, my cook when i am hungry, my maid when dirty, and mute unless pointed at to speak.

[You just got out of prison. I hear they miss you there.]

i hope this has helped you away from your path of destruction and short hair cuts.

[Jealous because I'm not balding?]

sincerely,
Your best friend,

[I thought that honor went to your RIGHT hand?]

hail to the king baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Just allow me to flush this down your throne.]





Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999

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