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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of August 19, 2001
edited by JadeSyren





Email : rayjerk@home.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm worse than a Heartless Bitch. I'm a mean, heartless, black bastard, and then some!! I just don't like Black people, but I hate everybody equally!! I even hate stupid people - i.e. anyone that breathes!!

[I see. You're one of THOSE morons. You're just giving lip service. Put some heart into it. If you REALLY hate the stupid, disconnect your keyboard. Read a book. Cancel your internet service. Let this begin with you.]

One Liner:
And your fucking point-being is what?

[I thought it was pretty obvious, but seeing how you're a moron and all, I'll explain it one more time. You're an idiot, now shut up.]



Name: dirk diggler

[Whew! That's original!]

Email : freaknastynursie?@rn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am convienced i am a Heartless Bitch because i take charge.I am not the quiet set back do things the way everyone elses says.

[Even IF it's a good idea. Even IF you should. Even IF you have no clue, you're going to kick around in there with your clumsy-ass shoes on.]

I am very opinionated , and trust me not afraid to share them. I have also been identified in the classification as a Bitch for not taking shitt.If i order my club sandwitch without tomatoes , then there shall be no tomatoes , its just the way it is.

[Who CAN'T send back an order?]

If i am fired at by the mouth,

[What?]

I will not swallow the bullets,I am known to chew them up and spit them right back out only faster and harder.

[Guiness may be looking for you.]

I have also been known to be called a Bitch by what I call haters.Hating on an intellegent,good looking woman who knows what she wants in life.

[Sounds like they have ample reason to "hate on" you. Sorry, player.]

therefore ,I hope I am excepted among the Heartless Bitches

[Granted. You're "excepted."]

One Liner:
I am well known to say what I think and believe

[Unfortunately.]



Email : one of a thousand monkeys@delta-m.lv

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
dgfgd bvdfiobdfilgbodf b'vd'vbddf
dvbxcvb

vdvbx;cbvxc

[You don't say?]

One Liner:
Dgdbcvbcvbcvb
Dfgidoigdfogdf
gdf
gd
fgdfogpdfg
d

[Now that's just too far!]

gdf
gdfgb fdfdf

[Some people try to fit square pegs into round holes, while others just gnaw and drool on them.]



Name: ddd

Email : ddd@ddd.com

UserID : dddfff

[We hit a hot button. I'm guessing it's "D".]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
If HBI pissed you off instead of making you laugh, then I dare say you identify a little too strongly with the archetypes we poke fun at... That's right. We ARE laughing at you. Either that, or you are still horribly caught up in youthful naivete, flowery idealism, and romantic pap. In any case, if you are really anxious for a verbal cuff upside the head, write in

One Liner:
pressing the SUBMIT button, you agree to allow the contents of this form to be posted to this web site. Unless it is revealed

[So what was hard to understand about these instructions?]



Email : buttinsky@pmcol.ualberta.ca

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Simply put, I will not stand by and watch while a person stupidly harms themselves and others,

[So the words "none of your business" mean nothing to you?]

physically or emotionally. For example, if I happen to come across a pregnant woman with a drink in her hand, I will not hold my tongue. I will tell her, in excruciating detail, every possible deformity and retardation she may be causing her unborn child.

[I didn't know that Dr. Laura made housecalls. Who are you to preach morality? I hope you left a card so she can put you down for a late-night diaper run or emergency babysitting.]

Additionally, if someone is mindlessly spewing forth close-minded brain farts, I will not hesitate to correct them (in a less-than-friendly manner).

[Look out! This year's model of the Thought Police is a lot less brighter. They're fuel efficient.]

I will not tolerate ignorance, and I abhor blatant cruelty.

[Funny. You won't tolerate ignorance, but you seem to think that one drink will deform a fetus. You abhor blatant cruelty, but you have no problem foisting your own close-minded opinions on those you see as close minded. Good thing that you didn't say that you can't stand intolerance.]

When I see something happening that bothers me, I do not stand idly by.

[No, you're all too happy to mind everybody's business.]

I come forward and say, "This is wrong," and provide reasons why. If I'm called a joykiller, or a bitch, so be it. I have no problem with that.

[Obviously not. I've often wondered where those nosey ol' biddies come from. Now I know. Being a neighborhood busy-body doesn't come with age.]

I do not depend on my boyfriend for anything except friendship and companionship.

[You shouldn't DEPEND on him at all.]

I pay my own bills, I go to work every day, I have my own friends, and I have my own left hand (if you know what I mean). I am an independant woman who places no value on whether or not a "significant other" is in the picture. I do not believe in relying on anyone else, for anything. There is just too much risk involved. I am a heartless bitch because I am not heartless at all. I CARE. I do everything in my power to right the wrongs around me every day.

[Some wrongs. You yell at a pregnant woman, and then you shout down some drunks at the bar. Whoopee-dee-doo.]

Sometimes hammering a point home takes some force, and if that makes me a bitch, okay then I am on a personal mission to make everyone I meet smarter by opening his/her mind a little bit.

[You'll be forcing the elderly to down their Geritol/Calcium cocktails at gunpoint, not to mention peeping into bedrooms to ensure proper use of prophylactics in NO time.]

Wish me luck.

[Good luck. I imagine that you'll be walking home from the bar a lot.]

One Liner:
"One drop of love can ruin a really good batch of HATE."

[What do you care, Killjoy? You're all about forcing people to do things your way.]



Email : Tired of Tits@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am sick of sitting down to a movie and seeing some big tited 18 take off her shirt.

[Ever think of watching Disney? Try asking about the movie you want to watch. Exercise a little selective censorship.]

I am also sick at the fact men alway feel the need to look at playboys but if we do it we are sluts or over heated.

[Make up your mind. First you're complaining about too much tit in movies, and then you complain about NOT enough tit in your porn.]

One Liner:
you are a god dam mother fucken two balled bitch

[How many do you think he's supposed to have? That's like saying that you've only got one brain.]

Take a cold shower

[Be a real bitch! Be indifferent to his erection.]



[These applications are like book ends.]

Email : left side@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch becasue I dont take shit from anyone. I identify with all the opeaning comments. :)

[I wonder if you remember what they are.]

One Liner:
angry donut.

[No, no, no. It's a HURTS doughnut.]

[And this one.]

Email : right side@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a very insightful individual. I see through everyone, including myself. I maintain high standards for myself. I am a very honest person, and quite critical of myself, as well as other people. I believe you must suffer a bit in order to recieve the payoff.

[Why? Sometimes when things are painful, it's a sign that you're going the wrong way.]

I have little sympathy for people with low endurance for hard work or any rain on their parade. I am very independent and disregard those who need a signifigant other for self worth.

One Liner:
a vegan, sugarless angrie donnette

[Spelled differently, same stupid phrase.]



Email : reality conflict@juno.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because......
* I am absolutely perturbed by our society's desire to magnify the female anatomy, as nothing more than 3 reasonably

[Reasonably?]

sized orifices, of which the penis can be inserted into.

[You can't insert a penis INTO tits.]

* I believe that marraige IS NOT a necessity. Being an independent spinster with self-controlled aspirations, and dreams,... makes more sense to me, than standing in a kitchen making dinner for my 2 children, while my husband ogles some cheap plastic woman on,...hmm, let's see...BAYWATCH.

[And you don't see any other choices?]

* I have been referred to as being the following things, (by multiple lovers)...

[…because of multiple personalities.]

**"beautiful on the outside,.. but not on the inside."
**"warm hands,.... but such a cold heart."

[This isn't what being a Heartless Bitch is about. That's sociopathic.]

**"...you're not to be called 'sweetheart'.....you're more of what's called a 'miss thang'.... 'sweetheart' is nice and cares about people; 'miss thang' doesn't care who the fuck she hurts.."

[Tell me that you didn't need an explanation.]

**"you're exactly like a porcupine.. ya know?.... someone gets near you and you just get on defense,.. and prick them really hard with one of your witful quills.."

[This is just getting scary…and not in a good way.]

**"you're the meanest girl in the world.."
** "you're such a jerk.."
~~*THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE( it was said to me, while he was crying..) ***"I HATE YOU!!! why don't you feel anything?....you are such a fucking bitch!....you don't even feel anything,... nothing affects you...you have no heart..."

[You might think that you're "cool," but you're definitely not firing on all thrusters. Consider a therapist.]

*Lastly, I don't have "GIRL POWER"....if it is what out culture advertises it as (primped up little wenches with pasty make-up and high top sneakers...gross.)I enjoy biding my time with the company of myself....

[Damned good thing since no one can stand you.]

and if i feel like it, one of my gentleman callers.I don't believe in being a pricktease,...i believe in being a respected woman,

[That's one way to put it. Another way to say it would be to say that you're an insensitive asshole, in desperate need of therapy--and right now, who is just "in it to win it" and it's all about YOU.]

with a take it or leave it attitude, about anything that isn't directly supporting me.

[As I said, it's all about you.]

One Liner:
I made this entry to see if i am what i've been referred to as, oh so many times,(heartless bitch)

[Do you think that means anything? You've probably been referred to as much worse.]

... but as we all know,... i could give a flying fuck about your acceptance of my submission;

[Sure you don't, and THAT'S why you had to include this disclaimer.]

... a PURE HEARTLESS BITCH, doesn't need to be reminded of her status.

[Consider your status deranged.]



Email : cxrxaxcxkx@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am about the most heartless bitch there ever was.

[You're something this side of the jail cell, I'll tell you that.]

this chick in her goddam bikini tried to cut me at the bank

[She means "cut in front of her." It's not as exciting as you're lead to believe.]

and thinking maybe she was just dumb, i asked "what the hell are you doing?". she said, "what, im not doing anything." so i grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the floor, pounding her face into the ground.

[Well, that's what she imagined, anyway. In reality, she stayed in her place in line, seething each time Bikini Girl tossed her hair.]

sometimes i just cannot tolerate even the slightest stupidity from the shitheads in this world.

[So you do your bit to add to it. I see. What an execrable plan.]

oh yeah, i shot my ex boyfriend in his goddam leg.

[Okay, I haven't seen all the summer movies. Which one were YOU watching?]

One Liner:
you fuck with me, ill fuck you up!

[She'll imagine herself doing all kinds of horrible things to you.]







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