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Jan 6, 2002
1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of June 17, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : dismal@the-gremlin.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm a heartless bitch.. because i'm loud and brash and say things loud and clear and my opinion is the opinion i believe in and i don't care what anyone thinks.

[Great. Another person who won't let annoying little ol' facts interfere with her sacred opinion.]

i'm a heartless bitch cause i dump my boyfriend.....just caus he was like an annoying turd that said stuff like..."u are like the day without the sun." gag.

[Clever. You ARE like the day without the sun. Not as bright.]

he reminds me of like lionel ritchie, tom jones and all the other washed out wanks.

[So he's insipid. You've brought nothing of value either, so what merits this complaint?]

One Liner:
pass me the salad...you useless wank. And no i don't want to hold your hands..it's been near that little worm u call a dick.

[It's okay if those "wormy" hands touch your food, but not your hands.]



Email : dickwha@netzero.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I take great and serious interest in

[…reading my thesaurus for dollar words where dimes would do.]

envisioning you lashed to a stainless steel table, blood trickling rapidly from various gashes in your more vascular regions,

[Charming. Blood would gush from the gashes in the more vascular regions if death were your objective. Those "trickles" would just scab up in a few minutes.]

as your eyes gradually shut for the last time -- your final mental image being that of my smiling face and handycam hovering near.

[…and your feverish and futile masturbation in the face of yet ANOTHER woman that mocks you.]

One Liner:
It seems there is noone left on this planet that can afford my principles. I win.

[…a free trip to therapy. Take this submission with you.]



Email : dink@earthlink.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[I present some of the worst coding that I have ever seen.]

<HTML><HEAD>
<META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type> <META content="MSHTML 5.00.2919.6307" name=GENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=#ffffff>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2>

I'm a Heartless Bitch because...

</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2>

I'm assertive, I'm opinionated and I voice these beliefs. This, I'm told, makes me a bitch. Amazing that these qualities make a man "strong."

<BR></DIV></FONT> <DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2></FONT> <FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=2>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

"You'll never see the stars if you are always looking down."

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Work like you don't need the money.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Dance like no one's watching.

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Love like you have never been hurt</FONT></DIV></BODY>

[Friends don't let friends use automatic HTML programs.]

One Liner:
One-tenth of the folks run the world. One-tenth watch them run it, and the other 80% don't know what the hell's going on.

[And that doesn't stop that 80%, either.]



Email : ID says it all@home.com

UserID : Cracka Hoe

[You can't disguise your drug problem with racial slurs.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[At least she knows to keep silent if she has nothing of value to say.]

One Liner:
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

[Lying IS a bad thing.]



Email : dangerno brain@edge102.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I can't even be bothered to think of something creative to write here

[Brain…missing. Life…still…functioning.]

One Liner:
"shut up and stop whining-if you can't get the job done, go home"

[Follow your own advice.]



Email : dork@edge102.com

[They breed'em stupid around those parts.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
A woman who wears a low cut tight shirt with no bra loses the right to have her breasts stared at.

[Huh? Did you get all tangled up in your own sentence? Maybe it's thinking about all those jiggling breasts that's got you so confused. Now you see why women dislike this type of behavior. Sure, everybody looks, but not all of them lose the ability to concentrate.]

Shut up and put some clothes on.

[Dear Neanderthal: You no more have the right to order us to put some on than you do to take them off. Stop trying to control women and get your shorts in order.]

Dork

[calling Orson. Come in Orson.]

One Liner:
Fisting isn't for everybody

[That's for shit sure.]



Email : iloveyouboyfriend@iamyours.com

UserID : [boyfriend name here]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I whipped my boyfriend so bad that hes now whipped by others....pathetic

[Pathetic is coming in here dripping with your boyfriend's name.]

One Liner:
Bitchin' In Thanks of Cock Hoping

[You have got dick on the brain. Who has to HOPE for cock these days?]



Email : another player@execulink.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

Because I have been used and abused by so many guys I finally just said f*ck it, I'm not going to do it anymore. If the want me they can play byMY rules!

[I'd write this shit small too.]

One Liner:
If you think you're going to play head games with me you and take a long walk thru the backroads of hell!!!

[Is there a shortcut in Hell?]



Email : victim forever@tor.microage.ca

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was married to a cheating, crime driven, dead beat father.

[He wasn't YOUR father, was he?]

One Liner:
I don't discriminate, I hate all men equally.

[Bleah. You didn't have a shotgun ceremony, Victim. YOU picked him. Learn from your mistakes and move on.]



Email : Trite@renegademarketing.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
when i was 14 i came out of the movie theater from watching natural born killers and immediately named my breasts mickey and mallory.

[You should have named them lefty and righty, at least that would have prevented this from being a total waste.]

One Liner:
i will be what i want,

[Stupid.]

when i want,

[Always.]

for as long as i want.

[Eternity.]

and you can either make some coffee or fuck off.

[As if you'd know the difference.]



Email : ate up with it@radiant.on.ca

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Another wasted opportunity.]

One Liner:
It's not the heat, it is the stupidity!

[Hear, hear.]



Email : bionic idiot@gurlmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I only give what I get. When some-person decides to treat me nasty or like I'm some lower form of life, they get what is deserved to them.

[They get what they deserve?]

I have always been a kind and generous female form

[Form: Lacking substance.]

to both men and woman. As a result of this I have been stepped on, stabbed in the back, cheated on , and been the punchline. I hade enough! Now, I AM A HEARTLESS BITCH. I realized this was the best way to got once my ex. cheated on me with one of my close friends. Something changed in me the day all who I cared for and trusted fucked me over

[You're not a Heartless Bitch; you're temporarily insane.]

( temporally )Yes, I could have kicked the living piss out of her and performed a "Bobbit" on him, but no. She recieved the best revenge ever. I snuck into her house, took a picture of her toothbrush up my ass and mailed it to her 2 weeks later.

[Bristles in? Ouch! It's only funny if it was bristles in.]

With him, nothing so disgustingly delightful..

[Because he's already tasted your ass.]

.I told him I didn't care about his slutcapades, asked him for one last romp in the sheets

[Euw. Who's the slut?]

and invited him to my cabin for a weekend. I ended up leaving him naked and handcuffed to a picnic table in the public park down the road.. I wonder if he ever got home??? Who cares.

[YOU do. You're still talking about him.]

One Liner:
" Don't take and Shit!"

[That's right. Shit BEFORE you take.]



Email : drool queen@canada.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Another prize winner.]

One Liner:
bitch bitch

[Drinking and typing don't mix.]



Email : Not me@bellactimedia.ca

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm not bitchy by choice,

[It's not MY fault….]

it's all the damn assholes in the world that make me bitchy,

[I can prove it's not my fault.]

but i've grown to love being a bitch. To me it's not a social label anymore but a lifestyle.

[It's a prison if it's not a choice.]

And i'm sick and tired of people whine to me and say "wow, your very negitive. u should try being less bitchy",

[What they said was stupid, "You should try being less STUPID." Get a hearing test.]

well ok i'll try it there miss preppy! My god, just let me be a bitch and quit your fuckin' whinein'!

[Whining is only okay when YOU do it.]

One Liner:
Heartless Bitches International whines to god damn much for me

[Take your sorry ass home then. It's way past your curfew.]



Email : estupido@hp.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'M A QUEEN REGARDLESS OF WHAT MEN SAY ABOUT ME

[Nobody's talking about you. That's all in your head.]

One Liner:
CRACK SNACKER

[As opposed to Ritz, the snack cracker. Want some cheese for that?]



Email : fat.ass@dumb.be

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
it pisses me off if they tell me not to talk to their tits.

[Whom do you think is telling you that? The woman or her tits?]

If they impress me with another feature I won't

[Psht. Like you could be impressed with another feature.]

but most of the time its the only thing they have got going for them.

[You're not the sparkling conversationalist there, buddy.]

By the way, liposuction does not enhance the brain

[You should get the fat sucked out of yours.]

but it does make the world a better place.....

[You know, that WOULD.]

One Liner:
If you serve it, i'll eat it......

[Humble pie, side order of Crow, nice and hot.]



Email : dull@ihug.com.au

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
You want me to justify my lifestyle choice!!??!!

[No, just tell me what YOU think it means to be a Heartless Bitch without the stalling and false indignation.]

I don't think

[I know.]

so!! If you want to know why I'm a heartless bitch, go ask my ex husband...

[Is he smarter than you?]

I'll give you his e-mail... better still, I'll give you his head on a platter....

[Go ahead, obviously there's no brain meat in there.]

One Liner:
thank you for asking me to dance AGAIN, and no, I'm not a lesbian, but with men like you in the world, it's a viable option.

[Just because he asked you to dance? All this jabber will not beat a firm NO! to get your message across. When in a loud club, "NO" is clearly heard. All this smart-alecky talk just invites more conversation because he can't hear you anyway.]



Email : agreenturd@msn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
The Bitch is an honered and classic name for the sister of Hell.

[Who's Hell's Momma?]

One Liner:
Only the dead are truly immortal

[Sounds like you've misread immortal, and if you haven't, then you're probably some creepy geek that sucks blood in some gothic delusion.]



Email : fuckedVMD@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When I was in high school I used to encourage girls I didn't much like, because they were whiny and frail or backstabbing, to pursue my rather attractive male best friend, because I knew he would turn them down in the most humiliating was possible, in public, in front of their friends.

[And this isn't backstabbing? Grow up.]

One Liner:
"What can I do to make you love me?"
"Be someone else."

[Preferably someone smarter.]



Email : freshlyshaven@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Ive only been an imsomniac since you started snoring.

[And you would rather choke on the candle wax than light the damned thing.]

One Liner:
LUCKILY 4 ME IVE STOPPED BEING AN IMSOMNIAC.
UNLUCKILY 4 U I DONT CARE IF YOU HAVE STOPPED SNORING.YOUR HISTORY.

[Not much difference between you being asleep or awake. It's still incoherent.]



Email : bonkers@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't have time for idiotic computerized responses to my submissions.

[Then go away. Don't come back.]

One Liner:
I have a superiority complex that is well deserved

[It's just that your complexes are superior compared to those of other crazy folks.]



Email : squid@xkey.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

...I've been such a heartless bitch for so long that I can't even think of any good examples to explain why I am a heartless bitch - it's just too ingrained.

[Read: I can't think of anything to say, and I'm impatient.]

I ignore friendly greetings, and I turn most people down rudely.

[Being nasty at random is not bitchy, it's just immature and sociopathic.]

If someone won't go away I tell him as loudly as I can that he masturbates too much.

[That one is going to backfire on you one day.]

I once sent a guy twice my size flying across the room for trying to fuck with me.

[Please.]

Prissy girls make me feel violent.

[Everything triggers a violent response in you.]

And shit, I've been called a bitch more times than I could hope to count, so shouldn't I get a fucking card for it???

[No.]

One Liner:
I don't believe in one-liners. But that doesn't make me any less of a bitch.

[Doesn't make you any MORE of a bitch, either.]



Email : scare us@aol.com

URL : No, too bad. You gonna cry about it?

[It's your loss. This is an option for you to shine, not us.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I can. People piss me off with no regard to their own safety. I repeatedly beg my roommate to put me out of my misery, but the asshole is just too weak and scared.

[Do it yourself. Who's the weak and scared one?]

I'm hate stupid women and I'm hate

[…baby I'm-a want you. Baby I'm-a need you.]

the 'my family is so perfect and I'm a Kathie Lee Gifford wanna be' women. I hate weak men who let women walk all over them and I hate the macho type men too.

[Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call me when you do something original.]

I date who & when I want to,

[You don't date. You're too busy hating the world.]

I am tied to NO man or woman. I speak my mind and if you don't like it, then too bad.

[It would mean something if you had something to say.]

Cry me a river while I play the world's smallest violin for your dumb ass.

One Liner:
YOU! Off my planet! We're over crowded and the gene pool is full!

[What we could use is a dose of chlorine.]



Email : all smiles@aerosmith.mu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
just because,and if ya make me re write this over and over again im going to get really really pissed off,

[There's always time to do it over. Try doing it right the FIRST time to avoid those rewrites.]

jesus what the hell is this anyway a barbera walters inteview?????

[Basic question. It's a "why are you here" type of thing.]

One Liner:
yea,im a bitch,you got a problem with it??

[I have a problem calling this slop bitchworthy, yeah. Stop slacking off and get to it.]



Miss Umberella writes:

I visited your site, and as a girl,

[Suuuure, you're a girl. If clothes make the woman, that is.]

found it to be pretty insulting. You make it seem as if being a "heartless bitch" is a wonderful thing, and the only way to be.

[If you had to choose between being someone who thinks for herself and being someone that does what she's told or only picks what she's allowed to choose from, what do you think you'd pick?]

If we're not, then there's something wrong with us and we're labeled as "weak" or "braindead".

[That's about the size of it.]

I personally am curious as to why you make it seem as if caring about people and being emotional is something to be ashamed of?

[You only read the title, didn't you?]

Girls like you make me sad. Honestly. You make my heart hurt.

[Aw. You just found a way to join the "girls club," and it went and changed on you.]

I'm not trying to patronize or insult you, seeing as how you do enough of that to everybody else. I am proud of who I am,

[It's taken you years to get here, right?]

heartless or not, and reading some meaningless rants from an overly arrogant girl on a power trip isn't going to change me.

[If reading them doesn't work, then NOT reading them won't work either.]

I doubt it will change many others either,

[Still laboring under the opinion that the only reason women do something is to CHANGE the world.]

save those who already are bitter and self-righteous enough to think that they have a right to brag about hurting others with their self proclaimed heartlessness.

[Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I could take you by a talcum-powdered hand and traipse you, high-heel blisters and all to the path to awareness, but that would just take too damned long. I couldn't bear the chaffing. This way you just might read the site for yourself in an effort to prove me wrong.]

I thought feminism was all about equal rights.

[And you're more equal than most.]

What you're promoting is female superiority which is just as bad as male superiority.

[I can almost see your hands fluttering as you clutch those pearls on your neck.]

I wish you'd all wake up and realize being a bitch isn't something to be proud of. I hope you have a wonderful time laughing at this letter and pitying my poor, naive soul.

[The first sign of life in your letter yet.]

At least I won't be sitting in the corner by myself mumbling femininst prose,

[You're too busy spackling on the makeup.]

fooling myself into thinking I have some great point to make.

[So why DID you write?]

Maybe someday you'll join the rest of the female population in the real world,

[NO, no! Anything but that.]

and realize that spewing your post-feminist bullshit won't get you anything except pity.

[You know what these neanderthal-type macho men need? "Women" like you.]









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