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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren

For the Week of November 21, 1999

New this week...the Escaped Inmate Edition.
Read them before they're put back on Thorazine.

Email : nitwit@???.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my boyfriends says that i turn down my lesbian friends

[Call back when you can tell us what you say.]

Email : lame@dimbulb.co.za

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I believe crap goes back to where it comes from ........

[And so, as it was foretold, this returns from whence it came.]

One Liner:
So you think my hands can be cold .......

[So I thought your reasons were stupid...]

Email : fucky@dumdumnet.ca

UserID : bitchypoo

[It is to laugh.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
It has nothing to do with being ladylike.

[That's my line.]

And it pisses my mother off when I express an opinion instead of makeing a meatloaf in my bare feet!

[Do you often cook in shoes? Cliche, cliche, cliche.]

One Liner:
If you didn't hear me the first time, I am not repeating myself

[No, you'll just repeat everybody else.]

Email : melonhead@aol.com

UserID : 1

[She can't remember her birthday either.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
iam 99% bitch, 1% sweet heart

[...100% moron.]

One Liner:
i get PMT,DMT,AMT so dont piss me off

[Go ahead, personify the stereotype of the hormonal woman.]

Email : tiredof@aol.com

UserID : bossybitch

[This should have been her name.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am right and you are wrong, so get used to that fact and shut-up.

[Let me break the bad news to you....]

One Liner:
GET AWAY FROM ME, NOW!

[You came HERE. If it were up to me, I'd never have gone near you.]

Email : budweiser@heinz57.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was raised as a naive country girl...When faced in real life, when moving out on my own,,getting married,, and then later starting a family...i learned that u have to take up for #1 (which is YOU)..

[And that was the last time she remembered how to spell YOU.]

that any and everybody willl use u if u put up with the bullshit...So i am fighting back,,not biting my tongue anymore, speaking my mind....I am honest,,openminded,,and heartless aat times..but tired of being used !!!!

[I'm tired of reading this exercise in how NOT to get accepted.]

Email : begs@lameway.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I hate everyone. I'm passionate about hate. Nobody is greater than me. I am an induviual and the rest of the world are on a different level.

["inDUHvidual®", more like]

People respect me.

[add "delusional" and "megalomaniac" to your list of personal attributes]

I am truly evil and I worship myself. I give no one a fair go, because nobody deserves it. I have been brought up in a bitchy envrionment, and Ive discovered that it is the only way to survive. "bitchiness is a nessesity.."

One Liner:
"lifes a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and lets get high"

[Er...yes. I believe I can see where you stand behind your convictions.]

Name: [definite guy name. I've also witnessed his scrawlings on a guestbook or two.]

Email : itcamefrom@Aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I don't want to be someones girlfriend, I want to rule the motherfucking world!!!!

One Liner:
I pee standing up because the fucking ladies toilets smell so flowery

[Dude, you pee standing up because you're a guy.]

Name: ddd

Email : fdf@dasf.com

UserID : 123

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
NO One likes me and i want to keep it that way! I hit other girls cause thay fucken suck dildo's! so i want to kick there asses.............................................

One Liner:
You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

[As opposed to Bonafide Stupidity?]

Email : codependant@12-stepprogram.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
How about telling you 'bout the card i just send to my ex,

[How about you moving on instead of going on...and on...?]

who after we've been dateing for little over a year and i just told him i was pregnant

[It probably never occured to you to make some adult decisions regarding family planning.]

and moving to the same town as him becouse of a new job(not him)

[Oh yeah. Sure. Riiiight.]

never called me back after he said he would, not even an email.

[Then wise up.]

Well, just went out on my lunch break and bought the sweetest little blue baby card saing 'hurray, it's a boy' on the frontpage and inside i wrote 'just thought you'd like to know'. what he doesn't know is that i had a misscarage a week ago go but,

sense he haven't been in touch i haven't had a chanse to tell him - so, hope he feel terrible if not, i could always write a letter to his mum, who ofcourse loves me

[That's because she doesn't know you.]

and tell her just how sorry i am that things didn't work out between us but i still think they have a right to know that they are gonna be grandparents....

[No, they aren't. Why don't you try not stalking the guy?]

One Liner:
I don't really hate men...

[You just hate yourself.]

Read the Previous edition of the Weak of the Week

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999


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