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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 27, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : kid_in_denial@htmlheaven.cjb.net

[Self proclaimed.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because I was born like this? because of my evil nature? what the fuck am I suppose to write anyway?

[Something original to demonstrate that you got the point.]

am I suppose to prove my bitchiness? is that necessary?

[Only if you want to be accepted here.]

if I put it to u this way, a guy a know recomended this site saying it was perfect for me.. good enough?

[Hell, no. Who cares what he thinks?]

One Liner:
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition

[Yeah, yeah. When push came to shove, you hid behind his referential coattails.]



Email : thedummys@supanet.co.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
you ain't seen any thing untill you've seen ma darlin!!!!

[Oh. I can hardly wait.]

One Liner:
Ya better what ya back because this bitch bites!!!!

[What ya back? Watch ya back? Want ya back?]



Email : pickled@stp.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my bite is just as bad as my smile

[Gingivitis. It can happen to anyone.]

One Liner:
don't count the bodies on your way to the top

[Just stack them like cordwood. Who cares how many corpses it took?]



Email : Yuk@gateway.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have made car salesmen cry.

[Let me guess what you think we are about.]

I once broke up with a long-term boyfriend on Valentine's Day because I didn't care for the card he sent.

[Great gift. He has no idea how lucky he was.]

I "accidentally" bump cars that are parked too close to mine.

[You must drive a standard P.O.S.]

I've caused my neighbors to be evicted.

[They just moved in a big hurry...away from you.]

Basically, I don't tolerate bullshit.

[Yet you have such a gift with shoveling it.]

I refuse to be a "lady" and I am not apolegetic about it.

[You'd have to have a sense of responsibility to apologize.]

I am a bitch who has not heard a peep from her heart for ages.

[Only because it's not saying "You, you, you."]

One Liner:
My uterus is like a roach motel

[Sticky, dark, and bug-encrusted?]

...many will enter, none will leave.

[Ah, because your cootchie is poisonous. Gotcha.]



Email : stealth shitmonger@att.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't see anything wrong with telling a friend that she should put ziploc

[I hate you instigators. You want to tell other people to do horrendous shit that you haven't got the guts to do yourself, then you proudly boast about it.]

baggies on her hands, grab a couple tootsie rolls from her cats' litter box

[That's no "tootsie roll;" it's shit. If you're stupid enough to vandalize, you're duty-bound not to euphemize what you've done.]

and stash them between the cushions of her ex-boyfriend's leather sofa a few days before he comes to pick it up.

[Just give him back the friggin' couch, already. When it's over, and if you're talking about stashing shit--it's over, the worst thing to do is compound the problem with vandalism. Let him go and good riddance. Stop with the last ditch efforts to keep him in your (her) life.]

The way this man has treated her (not to mention her cats) makes him a prime candidate, in my mind, for the "funny lingering smell in the couch" treatment.

[Why did she stay so long? Personal abuse is ONE thing, but I would never tolerate the mistreatment of my pets. All the more reason to kiss that one goodbye. If her cats were up to snuff, the couch should be shredded to shit, smothered in hairs that invade every crevice of the sofa and reek of a vaguely pissy smell.]

One Liner:
Stop wrestling with your inner-child. It's over. You lost.

[Save all that energy for keeping the ex-boyfriend around.]



Email : "sherlock"@SNET.NET

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
After 2 marriages, and years and years of searching for the "right" man, I have found an "acceptable" one. I recently moved, and he painted all the rooms in the new house, provided me with financial aid, plus a new washer & dryer. Last night he left a coffe cup in the living room, and I thought about breaking it off with him.

[Gold-diggin' skank, if he's paying all the bills and doing all the work, the LEAST thing your lazy ass could do is pick up a coffee mug. Take your pointless anger out on the people who earned it.]

One Liner:
I love men, all women should own at least one.

[It's no less stinky this way around.]



Email : Harley whore@adelphia.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When I met the man I am with now the only reason I decided to give him my number is because he had a HARLEY! I only date guys who ride.

[If you bought your own bike you could broaden your horizons a little.]

The last man I was with was in a club and when he told me he was quitting and selling the HARLEY I dumped him. If the man I am with now sells the bike I leave too! Sorry ladies but the rumble between my thighs weighs so much more than my (not so tender heart).

[SO BUY ONE OF YOUR OWN!]

If that's not a bitch than fuck it!

[You're fucked.]

One Liner:
Men CUM a dime a dozen, do you have a HARLEY?

[As she cruises the bars, sniffing for Harley keys in jean pockets, she becomes aware that she could get a job. Yes, a job would do it. A job would put some jingle in her pocket as well as provide a savings account for the Harley she desired. She could be free! Free from this life of prostitution for a few stolen moments on the back of the bike. A job could mean that she would one day hold the handlebars in her gloved palms. She immediately dismisses that as "crazy talk" as she hones in on a prospect.]



Email : konk@cox-internet.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
like I really give a fuck if u reject me!!!!!!!

[I'm glad to know that this rejection will cause no lasting scars.]

One Liner:
I could really give a fuck

[When you submit shit, do you think that makes you less stupid or more stupid?]



Email : CarpeDaemon@hell.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I've broken up with girlfriends by calling them stupid to their faces, as they went and told their best friends, 6 year old children.

[If you date people who have dumb friends that just makes you one of those "6 year olds." You can't possibly mean that you date children, after all.]

And also by telling potential girlfriends of a particular guy about a supposed infirmity (i.e., AIDS, genital warts). I believe those probably sum up my bitchiness pretty well.

[Hardly. What maturity. Call back when you get out of the schoolyard.]

One Liner:
I've caused so much pain and I'm so unstable, they're naming the next nuclear bomb after me.

[I think you've already made the cover of "Personality Disorder Weekly."]



Name: Cram It!

Email : scummy-mildew@aol.com

UserID : fuckyou

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a "Heartless Bitch" because I don't care what people think about me and also because I speak my mind when ever i fucking want to. I'm independent, and can't stand people who do nothing but criticize other people for their flaws and carelessness.

[I smell a criticism coming on.]

So fucking what if people aren't perfect, who are you to say anything about it?

[I sure as hell don't go out of my way to find these people. They come to me.]

I am a "HB" because I sure as hell don't need your damn club or some god awful card to prove it.

[So why ARE you wasting your time telling us?]

If i wanted a BITCH card i go to the damn mall and buy one.(of course I'm not paying $3.00 for some worthless piece of plastic)

[And your idea of productive is yakking away about a subject you care nothing about. While you're at the mall, stop by the bookstore and learn something.]

You talk about how you hate the way people screw up and that they depend on things too much...well guess what...you do the same damn thing.

[I depend entirely too much on the ignorance of strangers.]

You are no better than the rest of the people in this fucked up world. You depend on you stupid card, and I'm sure you're not as perfect as you think.

[Why is it that the whining, suck-ass portion of the population always reminds me that I'm not perfect?]

One Liner:
Fuck you, you self-absorbed hags, and fuck every body on this dumbass site who's got nothing better to do than beg to be accepted into your screwed up clique!

[You don't find this whinefest of yours even mildly ironic?]



Email : smelly@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because i refuse to listen to the constant whining of my mentally un-equiped peers. I refuse to stand by while everyone else makes all the rules because theyre popular,or thay have money, i will not undergo anyones bullshit, i live by my own rules, no matter how much it hurtsothers, i will state my opinions, and act upon situations where i think need my help.

[Not bad, not original, but not bad.]

One Liner:
I am cold hearted bitch, and i will hurt you, so get the hell out of my way ass whole

[Ass whole?]

[Then I got to the AOL profile.]

Member Name: Smelly, or whatever else you want to call me
Location: anywhere, everywhere, and no where, [location]
Marital Status: love was your lie

[Sounds like someone got a little burned.]

Hobbies: horse back riding ,spending most time w/my Pony, reading, sleeping, , being emoitional, being over dramatic,

[How is "being emotional, being over dramatic" a HOBBY? That's JUST what I need...a drama queen.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999

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