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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 20, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Name: You Suck

[Another one of THESE.]

Email : usuck@notme.com

UserID : USUCK

URL : Yousuckcauseyoudo.com

[I'm beginning to detect a bit of hostility. Remember when idle hands were actually a threat? Now they just send nuisance mail.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
You suck.

[I gathered you felt that way.]

Heartless bitches is a fkucking waste of time you pathetic asshole.

[Then Wrath steps up to the keyboard.]

afdhkwoe;lrhn3wo;q vc
djfkl;a adfjwekl;a aejriowqprtn32jo; ahkfelp;qajnoi;q

[Wrath is gifted with a silver tongue and a way with the ladies.]

One Liner:
You suck. Heartless bitches is a fkucking waste of time you pathetic asshole.

[Other things that are a waste of "You suck's" time:
Reading
Writing
'Rithmetic
Wiping AND flushing
Thinking]



Email : She's "Tugood"@oceanfree.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I broke up with my fucker of a boyfriend because he was a pick and poured battery acid all over his new lexis

[He cheated on you in that car, didn't he? Vandalism is a poor form of revenge. Living well is MUCH more effective. Okay, so he was a prick, but YOU picked him. Be an adult, grow up and move on.]

One Liner:
life a bitch and then u die of fuck the men and get a vibrator

[Color me sold when they make one with pistoning action.]



Email : tommy's gal@aol.com

UserID : tommy

[Don't use a lover/boyfriend/hubby as an ID. It's just going to sting when you log on.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because. It's. True. Cunt. Hair.

["What we need is a strike....hair."--Deuce Bigalow]

One Liner:
Jesus may love you,but everyone else hates you!

[My new favorite bumper sticker is "Hang up and DRIVE!" I don't think that's appropriate for a one liner, however. Remember, if it's on a bumper sticker, don't use it as a one-liner. I've already seen it.]



Email : LoosyGoosy@concentric.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Even after all these years, I am still amazed at the number of whining, can't take a step without my man even though he's a pig, please give me advice on how to fix mylife but don't expect me to listen, my birth control didn't work welfare mothers that I deal with on a daily basis. Ladies... one word "CONDOMS"

[You've got to be a social worker. If you don't like your job, change it. With rare exception, the social workers I've met wound up at their job because they couldn't find a job in their chosen field. It's no coincidence to me when I meet a skilled social worker that CHOSE the job.]

Somewhere I read an astrological thing that said I "have a low tolerance for stupidity" and it is SO true!

[They all say that. I wish they would just tell me which sign has the penchant for stupidity. Now THERE'S something that I could use.]

For those clients that especially piss me off... I have "pet" names... "The Beast" I never was a proponent for mandatory sterilization, but some women (and men) have no right to procreate.

[And instead of changing your situation, you just want to sit in your shit and whine about the smell.]

One Liner:
Just when I thought I'd seen it all, science crossed Darwin's Law with Murphy's... and here you are!

[And there you sit to complain about it.]



Email : hypo-crite@pcez.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When my female dentist asked me cute, personal questions while I had X-ray film in my mouth, I took the film out and I demanded, "Just get the job done,

[Wouldn't that be the hygienist? You're probably the same person to complain about a lack of proper courtesy too.]

alright?" and she cried. She went crying to the Head Honcho. While she was standing beside him, I said, "She has PMS", and she cried harder. (I'm tired of being all smiley. I get DISRESPECTED for not smiling while men get RESPECT for not smiling.)

[Great. You decide to shit all over someone else because you perceived her as weaker, and you chose to do it using tired stereotypes. I think I would be upset at random cruelty myself. Since when is being nice a crime? It's not wise to piss off people who work for you. Piss off a waiter and you might get a "sneezer." Piss off a hygienist and you might find yourself with bleeding gums and exposed roots. Not smart.]

One Liner:
Avoid negotiating at any cost. When someone with NEEDS talks to you, like a need to negotiate, pretend to be swatting a thousand flies around your head, while walking backwards NODDING.

[Or you could be HONEST and just tell them that they are wasting their breath.]



Email : linknzelda@nintendoplayer.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm ugly and I can't stand when attractive men don't even bother looking at me because they think I have no brains because I am ugly.

[The stereotype is that ugly chicks are BRAINY.]

One Liner:
You can ALWAYS be replaced so don't think so highly of yourself.

[You have enough low self-esteem for everyone else. I was wondering where it went, since I know so many people who have an inflated and undeserved sense of self-worth.]



Email : ingrate@gamewood.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I'm a heartless bitch because...


My mom tried to kill herself recently, because of my dad's infedelity. I cannot tolerate stupidity, and I think such in people who try to kill themselves.

[While I feel that suicide is a selfish act, I do take exception with someone as callous as you. That is your mother, and this attitude is not "cute" nor is it Heartlessly Bitchy. It's just childish. You must take after your father.]

She and I began to argue one day, and my closing line of argument was, "At least I didn't fuck up trying to kill myself." Her response - "You little bitch".

[She made a few mistakes in her life. Choosing your father, choosing to have you, and when she DID have you, she didn't punish you for your insolence nearly enough.]

...To which I quickly replied - "It runs in the family."

[So do suicidal tendencies. I pray that you remember how you treated your mother when you find yourself in her shoes, and you will.]

One Liner:
You Call me a bitch as if that's a bad thing. I'm not a bitch, I'm THE bitch, and that's Ms. Bitch to you.

[I'd snore if I weren't weeping over this tired one-liner.]



[From the pukefest files:]

Snapperhead writes: Female video gamers who blame me for the fact that 99% of

[You're a gamer? Two females don't make this a true statement.]

fighting/action/role playing games have male fighters. Hey, I play the games, I don't design them.

[You probably don't even BUY them.]

Besides, haven't you heard of Tomb Raider, where Lara Croft gets her male bash time in due to the fact that ALL the bad guys ARE guys?

[Gimme a break, shorty. First of all, Lara Croft is female because the creators felt that men would prefer to look at a female form bouncing in front of them. It was a success despite themselves, not because of themselves. Lara fights bears, wolves, and dinosaurs as well as generic "bad guys." It's not really about "male bashing" at all.]

Or Resident Evil, with 2 women & men to play as.

[The only people losing out by not marketing to women are the game manufacturers, and they are quickly compensating for that, probably because of Tomb Raiders undeserved success. (Have you PLAYED that game?) There are many games that are gender neutral and/or gender inclusive. Try branching out a little.]

Get a grip already, and not on my joystick, thank you very much!

[Hah. You'd LOVE one of them to clench your joystick. It would give your "thinking arm" a break.]



Email : wah@earthlink.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I do not take being told what to do very well.

[Does that mean that you don't understand orders, or that you can't?]

I am a bitch because I can not take being yelled at and when I yell back that is what I am called. I am a heartless Bitch because I have no heart since my husband ripped it out and lost it.

[Boo-hoo-hoo. They could find John Wayne Bobbit's severed dick, but you can't find your heart? Self-pity, party of one.]

I tell him how it is and he doesnot like it to get over it.

[What do I care if your hubby doesn't like to get over it?]

One Liner:
If you want to be a heartless bitch follow me to the nearest man.

[Oh yeah. Like I'd trust YOU to pick one. What does anyone else have to do with YOU being a Heartless Bitch?]



Email : guffaw@msn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am in touch with my inner bitch goddess and damn proud of it.

[You must have been channeling She-Ra when you submitted this gem.]

One Liner:
I put the ass in sassy.

[As she saunters to the table with toilet tissue on her shoe….]



Email : blkwidow@spy-dor.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have been a widow for 22 years and I remain single.I scan the horizons and play the Personals like a bored, chain-smoking housewife in Vegas yet it only seems to verify that most men are asking for the world and yet have nothing to give.

[Doesn't that suggest to you that you need a new hobby?]

And of course, when they are just "perfect", they're married!There's always a glimmer of hope in the beginning until they stop trying to charm you and start asking for your phone number.

[What? You're going to have to spell out what you think goes on in a relationship. Where I'm from (planet Earth) you talk for a bit, introduce yourself to one another, talk a bit more and exchange phone numbers to keep in touch. Other beginnings are not so formal. Phone numbers are like potato chips in social settings. Come on, granny, it's not like they asked to sniff your panties before they know your name.]

To them, that's first base and when they aren't allowed to go to first, they give up, the spine-less whimps!

[Getting a phone number is first base?]

One Liner:
I'd rather be alone than with a man who'd rather be with ANYONE than be alone.

[This would mean more if it didn't come from someone who spends her time scanning the personals like a "housewife in Vegas."]



Email : womanlidder@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I own a small coffee/bake shop in Texas. All of my morning customers are men.

[That suggests that it's a dive. We have a local restaurant that has mostly male clientele, too. They stop in on their way from selling plasma.]

I have no menu. Here you get what I what to cook.

[All the ear marks of a greasy spoon. Then again, it's a coffee shop that offers doughnuts. It's not hard to have that kind of attitude, but you're only fooling yourself if you think it's "bad-ass."]

I do not refill coffee, they get it them self.

[While that sounds good to you, it sounds like a possible health code violation from where I sit. It's about as appetizing as a cold greasy plate.]

As I'm busy getting all the pastry and baked goods in the ovens for the day. My motto is "This is not Burger King, you get it my way or you don't get the *#!# thing.

[Who says that customer service is a lost art? Can't you just SEE it? Doughnut: cold and glazed. What other choices COULD be offered? Pie of the day? Bran-muffin hour? I've yet to hear of a special order baklava.]

I'm married to a great guy who had a hard time at first fixing his own lunch for the day but he got over it.

[It's a bit harder than sorting bits of colored string...er sprinkles.]

I'm not sure this makes me a bitch, but my customers and hubby seems to think so.

[It just sounds unappealing as all hell. Or exaggerated beyond belief. A granny hard ass in a bakery shop. "Sugar, you get these crullers MY way or the HIGHway."]

One Liner:
I'm not a woman lidder, I'm a woman have to.

[I doubt you even HAVE lids at your place.]



Email : Uh@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Do NOT eat at Woman Lidder's Bake Shop in Somewhere, Texas.]

One Liner:
no its not me its you

[It's never going to be you, either. Exert some effort.]



Email : Cherego@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because I am sick of men thinking they rule the world. They think we are weak but if it was not for women men would not get anything done.

[This is just garbage. I know a lot of lazy people; it's not a gender thing.]

They dont live up to there responsibilities like child support or raising girls to be independent instead of passive.

[Women do a bang up job there, alrighty.]

As far as sex goes we women can get it anywere at least they should have something to offer. Like conversation,love,trust,reliability,faith and ahhh MONEY would be nice.

[Prostitution? Just set your price.]

I think most men are FUCKING ASSHOLES cuz we women do everything on our own even when we are sick Men are cry babies to.

[Too. As in also. Stop whining and take care of yourself.]

Cant work cuz they are sick or just to damn fat and cant get of the couch.

[Set fire to the couch. No big loss whether he runs for his life or stays and burns. No, seriously, sell it out from under him.]

One more thing they cheat,lie,are to pushy,demanding,have BIG MOUTHS and are to

[If this is one guy, leave him. Some people are just cut from the loser side of the cloth. Staying with him makes this your fault. If all the guys in your life are like this, guess what? It ain't them.]

fucking Egatisticle bastards.

[Either this is a brilliant play on Ego-testicle or just a horrible misspelling.]

Finally they might think your butt is for something els than shitting.

[Tell me that you're not riled up because he wants anal sex with you?]

P.S. They Stink.

[Heh.]

Pricks are just plane dumb fucking assholes that need a karrot up THERE ass just to see what it would be like. It does not end ther ect... Male Bashing,Cherego

[Well, if he doesn't have more than a carrot….]

One Liner:
"It's not menopause or PMS that's pissing me off,it's YOU ASSHOLE!"

[It's your indecisiveness, really.]



Email : greyboob@earthlink.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
...I've had it up to my natural tits with whiney ass little princess' crying because their silicon implants busted!

[It's not quite the same as busting a nail. I know a woman who got implants because breastfeeding really played havoc with her personal appearance. Her cruel husband preyed on those insecurities and called her names based on her worries over that. Superficial, yes--however, it does point a finger to societal ideas of beauty, and it makes you question why women are poisoning themselves for that ideal.]

...I've taken all I can stand from men who think they are too good to pick up a freakin' dust mop and do some real work!

[Guess who taught them to be that way?]

One Liner:
"Touch me again and you'll draw back a nub!!" (during PMS week)

[What about the other three? Do you suck shit then?]









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