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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of April 22, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : asdfjkl@qwest.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate people that don't accept web e-mail they are completely insane.

[Get a job, already.]

One Liner:
I am too good to be a member of this website.

[Whatever helps you get to sleep in the night.]



Email : calamity jane@gc.quik.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When husband

[I thought Tarzan talked this way.]

is staggering in backyard I reload!

[...his beer. Can't have him thirsty now.]

One Liner:
Sorry, I have a venerial disease.

[Probably long-term syphilis. It affects your thinking.]



Email : wrong@icq.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i answered yes to all the questions

[Did you skip the part about being original?]

One Liner:
If you come within ten more feet of me I'll rip your dick off and shove it so far up your ass you'll have to punch yourself in the stomach to jack-off

[Which was the inspiration for the movie, "Fight Club"...or so I've been told.]



Email : irritated@curry.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
there is too much whiny drama in this world........i am surrounded by too many whiny little girls and boys.....grrrrr

[I see. Have you considered being vague and unproductive?]

One Liner:
you, sir are a asshole.......

[Did you write that yourself?]



Email : digitalbridgetjones--the evil one@earthlink.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I want to throw coldcuts at members of PETA!!!

[This isn't chilling until you read the one-liner.]

One Liner:
I like fried cock

[Shit, who doesn't?]



Email : Mrs Nye@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I get sick and tired of losers on the Internet thinking just because they im me and say "hi" that I should be ready to go ahead and give them my phone number.

[Try making use of the AOL privacy features on IMs (instant messages). It'll change your life.]

One Liner:
Men are full of two things.....shit and babies!

[So that's where the little rascals went. I was starting to get worried.]



Email : pissymaeoff@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am abartender and here it all!

[For a horrible minute I thought you were going to tell me a story about how you served piss.]

One Liner:
menopause has set in and i own a 357 magnum now what did you say????

[I said, "Pour me another one."]



Email : mimi that can't be her real name@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Cause I use em and abuse em......fuck em and forget em..... get the picture.....

[It's an ugly one, even if it's not an accurate one. I just can't picture a hard-ass named "Mimi."]

independent, confident, own the room and the express way..

[The whole expressway?]

so watch out, baby, cause Im kickin ass and taking numbers.

[Names. You kick ass and take names. You take numbers when there's a lot of people in front of you. For instance, if I were to post your real e-mail address, people would have to TAKE NUMBERS to write to you, telling you how weak this application is.]

One Liner:
Im only here for a good time, not a long time.

[Good. You may be silly, but at least you're brief. Like a 24-hour stupid flu.]



Email : self-loathing@aol.com

UserID : hateme

[So sad when you don't even have a friend in yourself.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I dont give a fuck what any guy says I do what I want to o when I want to do it wheather or not he likes it and if he has a problem with it oh well he can leave!!!

[Um...good for you? I guess. You know, those exclamation points go at the end of each sentence, not stacked up at the end of the paragraph.]

One Liner:
Men are like Dogs they beg for what they want and if they don't get it they whine and whimper!!

[Remember, you don't CARE if they have a problem with it or not, right? Wait a minute...I know some girls that whine and whimper when they don't get what they want. Better rethink this one liner.]



Email : cybertrick@aol.com

URL : no, awfully sorry. NOT

[Oh, you got me. "No, sorry...NOT!" Man, what a psyche-out.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
im pissed off with people thinking that because im a gorgeous girl i will do anything for them and that blokes think just bcoz i like sex

[Now I have a better picture of why they think you'll do anything. Hint: it ain't because you're gorgeous.]

i want to shag some ugly motherfucker AS IF!

[Damn right! You have standards, after all. Very few, very low standards, but standards nonetheless.]

People better get it through to there thick heads that they cant push me around and i will kick the shit out of them if they do!!!

[Kung fu Barbie.]

One Liner:
I tell you what to do arsehole and i i dont say anything you can fuckin wait 4 me to! ALRIGHT??

[If your kicking skills are anything like your witty comebacks, you'd better hire a bodyguard.]

You've been naughty, go to my room!

[Violence is pretty crummy foreplay.]





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