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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of April 4, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : Jennfier@smwc.edu

[No shit, she spelled her name wrong.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My whole life, men said that women were the "weaker sex." Think about it, if women were weaker, then why does it only take ONE woman to bring a man into this world, but it takes SIX men to carry his ass out? Re-do the math, add it up and THEN open your mouth so I can put my weak little foot in your mouth.

[One woman bringing man into world: 8lbs. 12 oz.
Six men taking one man out: 435 lbs.

Getting placed in Weak of the Week = priceless.]

One Liner:
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Pissing Jennifer Off May Result In Frequent Anal Surgery, To Remove Her Foot From Your Ass.

[I'll bet she's just hopping mad when this happens.]



Email : Aunt Jemima@fsmail.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Satan made me that way, I love my father...

[What a new twist on that old chestnut, "the Devil made me do it."]

One Liner:
Is your dick as cheesy as your smile?

[Isn't Satan's daughter supposed to know stuff like that?]



Email : secret pig@home.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Heartless Bitches keep a man in line because they dont let him treat a woman like shit without immediate consequences and inside every heartless bitch is a warm-hearted little bitch waiting for a decent man. [Why didn't I think of that? All I need is a decent man, and my little inner bitch would be all warm-hearted and fuzzy, like your logic.]

One Liner: You're in a battle of wits and you havent come prepared///

[I prefer to give my opponents a handicap just to keep things interesting.]



Name: kiuhsdrfljs

Email : kiuhsdrfljs@shinbiro.com

UserID : kiuhsdrfl

[I hope his name isn't really Kiuh Sdrfljs.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Oh, I just love guessing games. Okay, you're mental? A nutbag? Hopelessly silly? A chronic time-waster? Typing with your nose? Angry about your name? How many syllables?]

One Liner:
iam

[I got it! You're outta here.]



Email : Wants her way@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
im a heartless bitch because i just want a fuckin membership and i dont feel like writing a frickn subbission letter bout how guys suck and im sick of girls who act so fricken helpless

[Like those helpless girls who can't figure out what to say in an essay application?]

One Liner:
why dont u masterbate bout it!

[I just don't find you making demands to be all that exciting.]



Email : oversexed@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a HEARTLESS BITCH because....

I don't lie when approached by my boyfriends wives....if they asked why I slept with their husband I asked em' why they didn't!!!

[Who wants to eat from a dish you've tasted? Euw. That's like using a damp toothbrush.]

One Liner:
If you're feelin' like a used tampon and want to share it with me....don't ask me to your PITTY PARTY; cuz I won't come!!!

[Nah, you're too busy throwing porn parties on your webpage and calling it intimacy.]

[The AOL profile.]

Member Name: Vixen
Location: hooterville
Sex: Female
Marital Status: Single
Hobbies: sex sex and more sex
Computers: barely
Occupation: sales

[But what is she selling?]

Personal Quote: love is like ghosts which everyone talks about but few have seen...

[Come now, you've seen more love than most with an AOL profile like that. I'll bet that your computer locks up with all the Horny Net Geeks trying to IM you.]



Email : down low@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
..i e mail my x x husband while my present husband is in the room (asleep)..

[What's an ex-exhusband? I thought he was in the room asleep, you quasi-adulteress, you.]

One Liner:
I wouldn't say it if I meant it......

[You're a liar for all seasons.]



Email : inventive@aol.com

UserID : 123456789

[If only I could remember my password. I swear, it's right at my fingertips.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I dont put up with "or poor me" people when Instead of whining about it they could b doing something about it. I dont put up with guys who thin they are gods gift to wemon or wemon who think they are the hottest thin g that have walked the fuckin earth! I am who I am and if ppl dont like me that they can kiss my ass!

[This reads like a bowl of alphabet soup. Look, Mom, I've got Kiuh Sdrfljs!]

One Liner:
Don't you hate it when wemon

[…is spelled "women," or something lame like that?]

are called sluts when they do something sexual with a guy, but then the guy is a hero?

[Stop whining. It's nothing compared to what a woman is called when a woman does something sexual with another woman. Wait. Those are male heroes, too.]

[From her "sweet ass webpage," her outlook on life.]

Here Is my out look on life,
Life is a B-I-T-C-H Deal with it. Friends are friends the one thing U cant live without. Guys who call wemon B_I_T_C_H_E_S,whores,S_L_U_T_S & Cows shouls have their tiny little peckers cut off! We are girls we all B_I_T_C_H sure, but U guys Piss us off alot of the time. Girls do NOT just want attention and if they do In a realationship GIVE IT 2 THEM U get what u want out of it so why shouldint we? I dont hate guys in general I hate conceded A-S-S-H-O-L-E-S who

[I prefer it when they concede gracefully.]

treat wemon like peices of meat! But 4 the rest of U GOOD GUYS I love u soooo much you guys are what keep us girls happy! WHATEVER TICKELS UR FANCY hee!
I ADMIRE STRONG PPL WHO STICK UP FOR THEM SELVS!

[Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel. E.]

JARED MARK AND RYAN'S BAND KICKS SOME SERIOUS ASS!!!!
THEY ARE THE NEXT RHCP!

[Rocky Horror…nope. There's no "C" in that.]









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