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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of March 11, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : ogle@usa.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
mu hobby is to look forward for hot sexy ladies
and offer to have sex with them just for joy...

[As opposed to paying for it.]

am ready any time..........

[I don't know how any hot sexy ladies can resist you. Must be the personality.]

One Liner:
mimi soso lala

[The fifth Teletubbie speaks.]



Email : candy-ass69@cosmo.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate men...I lost my virginity to a total asshole who I was completly in love with and he just blew me off so I put signs all over the school that said he had a small dick and that he was a lousy lay

[Did TBS have a Fast Times at Ridgemont High-a-thon?]

One Liner:
so you have a dick what do you want, a medal?

[I don't know about him, but I'd like you to stop watching late-night T.V. before you apply.]



Email : shudder@ntlworld.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
*smirk*

[A sure sign of extreme youth.]

i'm like, told that i'm a heartless bitch 24/7. I kinda have this thing that i say when i'm told that. it's like

[I can almost understand saying "like", but typing it?]

You say i'm a bitch like it's a BAD thing! uh......i can't think

[We know.]

of much else
keep bitching
LaZ

[The most amusing thing about the marquee tag is that people choose to use it.]

One Liner:
*amused* i have many:
1)You look like shit. Is that the style now?
2)I'm trying to imagine you with a personality....
3)Are you stupid....or are you just having a blonde moment?
4)i like you.....but then again, i've never had taste
5)The less i see you, the more i like you
6)Y'know, i went through the bargain bin and didn't see THAT one
7)i'm multi-talented, i can talk and piss you off at the same time
8) is that a goatee, or has a bird crapped on your chin?

[If your one-liner section is more developed than your application, scrap the whole thing.]



Email : LaZ's right-hand@ntlworld.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because i just am ...i hate lots of people like popular people and stupid lads.i also hate people who think their big breasts will get them through life...whatever!

[What are your feelings on really dumb copycats? Split-personality users? People that actually USE the marquee tag in applications?]

One Liner:
you look like shit......is that the new style?

[You shouldn't have used this one in the previous application.]



Email : wasabininja@bust.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
feel the insufferable burning sensations of this raw seafood condiment crossed with svelt ninjaism baby.

[Great. Next I'll be hearing from the SakeSamurai.]

One Liner:
quit humpin my leg toto !

[There weren't any ninjas in the Wizard of Oz, unless you count the flying monkeys.]



Email : Spamber@breathe.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because....hang on, i don't have to justify myself to you fuckwits!

[This maneuver is formally referred to as "choking."]

One Liner:
..and one day he hopes to be able to fed himself!

[It's obvious that you've mastered the one-liner. Come back when you've had more practice with thinking.]



Email : chump@bellsouth.net

UserID : cunt

[One of the warning signs.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm Candy and I'm a huge bitch

One Liner:
I'm Candy and a big big bitch

[Quick! Someone hand this chump a thesaurus.]



Email : trainer@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because, I think Guys are a waste of time, but I still date them to raise my muscles with a heavy arm on my shoulder.

[And how much do you charge for a hand job?]

One Liner:
Guys like you I like a lot, cuz they make good fertilizer!

[And what have YOU been feeding your plants, you naughty girl?]



Email : alexa4165@you've-gotta-be-kidding-me.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm a heartless bitch because of the heartless bastards i've come in contact with during my lifetime

[That's right, Ms. Victim. Blame everyone else for your misfortune.]

....i'm also a registered '[other online group]', of which i'm very proud. thank you.

[It's not like they have standards. You apply; you get in.]

One Liner:
no matter how many times i flush, you just refuse to go away!

[I can't tell you how often I feel the same way about these applications.]



Email : no-relation@bellsouth.net

UserID : big bitch

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my asshole husband just asked me to start working after 20 years of marrage.

[Aw. That bastard! How DARE he ask you to earn your keep. It's not like you have any job skills.]

That asshole needs to make enough money to support me.

[Guess what. He doesn't. Just be glad he hasn't traded you in for the newer, streamlined model.]

One Liner:
men are only good for one thing. money!

[While you sit there, useless as your application.]



Email : crazykid@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
A lot of the times, I actually do push my lover over a cliff.. just for the fun of it! ;)

[You must run through lovers like tic-tacs, ya maniac.]

One Liner:
Asshole: If you dont shut the fuck up I will bite off your dick and feed it to my pet croc

[Crikey! Wouldn't it save time and aggravation to just allow the pet croc (in Wales!) to bite off the dick?]



Email : www.dumbass@email.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't even give enough of a fuck to come up with something intelligent or bitterly witty to write here.

[Then this should come as no surprise.]

One Liner:
What do I look like the patron Saint of pity-sex?

[I see. You saved all your intelligence, your wittiness and spent it all on the "pity-sex" line. Wise choice.]









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