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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of March 4, 2001
edited by JadeSyren

Email : horny-geek@myvzw.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
send me some naked pictures of bitches

One Liner:
i'm a super heartless bitch

[So go look at yourself in a mirror.]

Email : none-too-bright@excite.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Look-I have sent in 2 application and NOTHING!

[Let me apply the hint with a mallet. You didn't make the cut. Stop whining and think.]

I am A HEARTLESS BITCH and I want to be a member so.......Dammit, let me be A HEARTLESS BITCH!!!!!

[A temper-tantrum! That's precisely what I was waiting for! You are so (not) accepted.]

One Liner:

[Let me supply one for you: Waaaaaaaaah!]

Email : sugarlips@notafan.com

UserID : Deliece

[De-louse?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
This is what being a heartless bitch is all about then? Big fucking wow, I would have sent this to the opinions/hatemail address, but seeing as you've set that up to make people look like complete fuckwits

[No, no, no. Those pages are painstakingly formatted to ensure that the fuckwit is showcased as received. It would be no fun to make it up ourselves. Besides, as smart as we are, there's just no topping what a real fuckwit can do.]

I thought it best to send it here.

[Bwa ha ha. You're the sharpest crayon in the box.]

Why have you made it out to be bad to be a woman with sex appeal?

[It's just that a brain is ever so much sexier.]

I'm not saying everyone needs to sit in there bedrooms reading self fucking help

[Self fucking help books are vastly underrated. If you don't know how to fuck, you should read a book.]

books on how to be more intouch with their feminine sides, I just think that labeling yourself a bitch and setting up a poorly laid out web page doesn't make you anything but a retard with too much time on your hands.

[What would you say about a person that tries to avoid the idiot page by sending her hate mail this way?]

If you want to walk around with a rat up your ass 24/7 and be all *blah blah I'm a bitch blah blah you're an asshole blah blah I have PMS*

[Then? ...then what? You can't have a sentence that starts with an if clause and not include a then clause. Do yourself a favor; go back to reading self fucking help books because you've completely missed the point here.]

Most of the *bitches* on this site are so worried about being accepted into and staying in Heartless Sheep International that they loose their original sarcasm and back chat they had before. And to think I actually wanted to be a member.

[The sour grapes are especially tart this year.]

One Liner:
When the shit hits the fan, don't panic just fuck all web page designing retards within a five mile radius and then kill all the first borns.

[She's a regular Angel of Dearth.]

Email : a.s.s.@hsbc.co.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Drawn blank.]

One Liner:
live life

[Can't argue with that.]

[***A quick costume change and...]

Email : a.s.s-cheek@lucio.zzn.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
good girls go to heaven. bad girls go to london

[I'm glad she returned to fill in this blank.]

One Liner:
live life!

[Okay!]

Email : stalag13@shoosh.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because...oh how to sum such a complex person up into one small paragraph.

[I could do it in a sentence: Dishonest, bitter divorcee needs chauffeur.]

Chew on this:

[Where's Cookie?]

when my EX-husband pulled some really stupid shit on our son on Christmas day I immediately took him aside and explained to him why exactly he would keep his promise to his son. The promise that I made to my ex was that I would call his parents up

[That's not a promise, that's a threat. An empty threat is just a threat you don't intend to carry out. People tend to confuse this quite often.]

(they were on my side at the divorce hearing)and explain to them why their son wasn't bringing their grandson to see them.

[If you're friendly with the in-laws, why didn't YOU bring their grandchild to see them?]

The reason was that he wanted to go and get laid by his girl du jour.

[Why did you care? That's your ex-husband, right?]

They have a right to know why they aren't going to get to see their grandchild.

[...because neither one of you can get your shit together?]

He told them he was sick but told me the truth. Like I was going to applaud him for telling me the truth?!

[Yes. If he lied, you'd be here telling me how much of a liar he was.]

Then after he'd called to tell me that he was on the way home with the kiddo,I called his parents and let them know why their son had miraculously shown up that day.

[Thanks for keeping up your end of the deal.]

One Liner:
I suck at one-liners. Short and pithy is not my forte.*I make up for this greivous shortcoming with chutzpah.

[Is that how you justify being a tattletale at your age?]

[She DID think of a one-liner after she sent her application.]

One Liner:
Yet another item to add to the long list of things I'm going to go to hell for.

[This isn't your forte.]

Email : Candeekbaby@aol.com

UserID : Kree8tvt

[Is this "creative-t" or "creativity"? Either way, she's all over it.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because I hate everyone, and I'm a regular female dog!! How can I explain it anymore?

[When you come up with a UserID like "creative", you've got to live up to it.]

One Liner:
Fuck off.

[Must be one of those opposite jokes.]

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999


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