For the Week of February 4, 2001 edited by
JadeSyren

Email : shellcon@doofyone.net
UserID : Siren
[How dare you!]
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a man not a whiner. Lets see if this group can stand the fire.
[Fire? You hardly generate heat.]
One Liner:
1-800-waaa
[He's not only a member, he's the president.]

Email : computer-generated-mail@icqmail.ccom
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i fucked up by a girl so i can't trust any ones love
[She even fucked up the way you talk!]
One Liner:
keep ur face to the sun and u can't see the shadows!
[Sticking your head in the sand works equally well, I'm told.]

Email : chalkhead@sabs.co.za
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am told that I am not afraid of anything and nothing gets me down , I have a response to everything.
[Except now.]
One Liner:
Do you like travelling ? FUCK OFF then!
[What a stinger! Please add: Have a nice trip, see you next fall.]

Email : dumb-and-stupid@quest-net.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't get mad , I get stupid.Example?
[No need.]
I mistook my man's toothbrush for the cat box cleaning brush,
[Silly you. You're probably not aware that he's using yours to brush his pubes.]
and sometimes I "Accidently" wash his whites with my reds.
[But you're still doing his damn laundry.]
One Liner:
When life gives you lemons use them to chase tequila shots
[Great, add alcoholism to your list of good qualities.]

Email : envy@xcelenergy.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am so jealous of my lady coworkers mainly because of their looks and money that I am rude to them constantly.
[That is certainly Heartless Bitch behavior, alright.]
I hate my boss, my job, my kids, my x-husband and even my ugly face.
[You overlooked your glaring idiocy. You should hate that most of all.]
I am even more pissed because I work out all the time and I am still fat. I can't blame my problems on anyone else yet I can take no responsibility for my actions. I am just a hopeless, usless bitch.
[...sorely in need of therapy.]
I am rude to everyone because I have so much baggage my name should be sampsonite.
[Accurate statement.]
I choose my friends on a scale of 1-10, mild or aggressive heatless bitch. If you met me you would say I should be President of this club.
[If I met you, you'd have more self-loathing material -- besides, you can't even spell the name.]
Oh.......I am in denial too.....everyone else is so screwed up but I am doing just great. I lie about my age too.
[I love it when people admit that they lie. It means that I can't believe anything they say.]
I am getting heat flashes........whatever that means!
[It means that your body has lost its stupidity immunity.]
One Liner:
If I weren't so ugly I'd kick myself.
[You should kick yourself for submitting this.]

Email : Bill_devotee@aol.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I need a life. Who needs a man anyway? YOU, now leave me alone
[This coming from a woman that has a shrine to her man, Bill.]
[Excerpt from her profile.]
What I like to do sometimes
I like getting jokes and rose pics...If you have pic of roses, please send to me. If you are looking for me online. You will find Bill with me probably and he does not like anyone flirting with me, so don't do it.
One Liner:
I will get to it someday
[Only if Bill lets ya.]

Email : new-fool@aol.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I tool the blame for my boyfriends Drunk Driving ticket.... and he's still an ungrateful bastard.
[Don't blame him. You did that all on your own. If you want gratitude, blow him next time.]
One Liner:
You get what you give... that's why you have nothing~
[And why YOU have an arrest record.]

Name: Gangsta Bitch Barbie
[Oh, brother.]
Email : DuMbaSs@aol.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a heartless bitch because Im sick of putting up with other peoples shit! Last month I cut all the crotches out of my boyfriends pants becuase he was cheating..hehe..
[That's right. Make the access EASIER.]
One Liner:
Im not a bitch, I AM the bitch
[...who designed all of Prince's clothes.]

Email : sneaky-skank@ppservices.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I slept with by best friend's boyfriend right in front of her..and the dumbass didn't even notice.
[Perhaps she just realized that she was losing two assholes with one stone.]
One Liner:
"If you say anything bad about me, I'll come around and blow up your toliet."-Courtney Love
[Apt. You blow shit around here.]

Email : Bratdolt@aol.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm tired pf being put down by guys
[It's okay when girls do it?]
One Liner:
ALL MEN ARE DOGS!!!
[*Yawn*. So why do you care what they say?]

Email : euuw-gross@aol.com
[She has a very sick name. Really.]
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I said so. You can't argue with that.
[From the "Could you just CRY?" department, I present her AOL profile:
Member Name: Miss Understood
Sex: Female
Hobbies: Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling.]
One Liner:
I'm superior. Deal with it.
[I wonder if you feel superior now. Next time, don't use your "Gotta catch a man" screen name.]

Email : cat's-ass@qwest.net
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a Heartless Bitch becauseI am taking my ex-husband
to the cleaners.
[This just makes you a bitter divorcee.]
He has custody of my daughter and
[Interesting.]
I hired an attorney with a constant case of PMS to go
[Sounds like he'd be used to the hormonal woman routine by now.]
after him and when I decided she wasnt mean enough I started
[More likely that your case wasn't strong enough.]
interviewing attns to find the meanest low down dirty
son of a bitch I could find. FOUND ONE!!!
[Just now?]
This one makes Judge Judy look like a Saint.
I will have his testies hanging from my rear-view mirror
by the time I am done. You dont mess with this Mamma!!!
[You're going to be one angry, bitter, joint-custody mamma with a grudge and half the marital property.]
One Liner:
"Bend over baby and you better beg for the vasoline!"
[If you're so rough and tough, why would you offer any? Why don't you offer a palliative while you're at it? Maybe even an option to stop?]

Email : truckdriver's_wife@bellsouth.net
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
as a wife to a beer bellied,cigarette smoking,lying,egotistical,hypocritical,bigotted,truck driving,womanizing, pig. I feel I must be a bitch. as a form of self defense!!!!
[I'd switch to hard liquor. You're not cut out to be a Bitch.]
One Liner:
men are the real CUNTS...C ant't U nderstand N ormal T alk
[When are you going to realize that YOU picked him. He didn't turn into a pig overnight.]

Email : slut-for-online-group@msn.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
the lights in the whole neighborhood dimm when I fire up MY Binford Extra Heavy Duty Vibrator.
[Don't they run on batteries?]
One Liner:
The only Good Man is the One in MY Bed.
How do you find room for him AND the Binford?]

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
|