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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of January 12, 2001
edited by JadeSyren



Email : hormonally-challenged@telusplanet.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I can't stand the whiny people and just hate the two facedness of most people around me... If you think your life is so tough change it don't bitch about it....

[I'm going to let that one slide.]

I think that all women should be themselves and not mindless just because men want blond dumb bimbos...And men get use to it...we women rule and you should bow down to us....

[I can't find a good reason to bow down to you.]

The nature around you is a woman....

[The nature of what? You're thinking of those old Parkay commercials.]

I am a heartless bitch cause i like to men and women alike to cry by through reality into their faces....

[??? You haven't had a history of making sense, but this is surely a record for you.]

One Liner:
Little Woman, Big Truck, Pms....ain't that a bitch!

[Actually, the only thing that startles me about anyone in a Big Truck is their glaring inability to drive the thing.]

Email : just-silly@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Sorry, barely able to surf the small internet waves.

[Okay, ignorant and admitting it.]

HTML is not even in my vocabulary, but "Userid" would get YOU kicked to the curb if I saw it on YOUR application!

[Why don't you try a little research before reaching the wrong conclusion.]

I think User ID is much more appropriate.

[When you run your own site, you set the rules. Until then, get used to the real world.]

A couple of gay friends introduced me to this site and I like it and visit

[Does it matter that your friends are gay?]

regularly because I have always been an advocate of the "stupidity is not gender specific" mind-set. The sappy sites are too funny!

[Glad you like them.]

One Liner:
Sorry, nothing worthy comes to mind.

[Why not postpone the application until you think of something?]

"Life's a Bitch and then you Die!" is one of my favorites, but I'm certain that's been overused to death!

[Among others. Did you miss the message that advised new hopefuls to scan the pages of members to avoid just this type of situation?]

Email : witchiepoo@anotherwitchiepoo?.com

UserID : AngryGrrrl

[But of course you are.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless fucking bitch beacuse nice girls get fucking no where,

[Stupid girls get nowhere a lot faster.]

no one listens to what they have to say, and treats them like a fucking skirt.

[How does a skirt get treated?]

I am a pair of boots with spikes!

[God forbid you should be a thinking cap.]

One Liner:
I am a womyn on a mission to kick the ass of every egotistical 2-faced 1 sided

[How many sides should one have?]

pathalogical lying shithead and I don't need my boots to do it.

[What else are you going to use? Don't engage them in a battle of wits, whatever you do.]

Email : crazee-girl@tupac.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I work and go to school and If the house idnt picked up it goes in the garbage.

[You're going to throw your whole HOUSE away?]

One Liner:
When I married you I dint know i would be raising a kid agian..

[Didn't you fall in love with that spontaneity, that joi de vivre, the availability that stemmed from being chronically unemployed?]

Email : alice@cs.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I figure if I'm in a bad mood and that will never change!(got a problem?)

[Your bad mood is all your problem.]

than,I'm entitled to a bad day RIGHT?

[You're asking me? No, you're not entitled to a bad day. You're not entitled to a day, period.]

Well if your a waitress and depending on your tips, then I say if you have regulars and they are all cheap as shit!!

[They are cheap as shit because you work in a dive and have a wretched attitude. Either improve that, or serve them in the nude.]

When I TELL THEM!! that there is no laughing in the resturant and I'll be damned if your going to get service with a smile!!! and If you know whats good for you DON'T make me come back to the table. Because you will pay and PAY YOU WILL! FIRST RULE OF THUMB, don't piss off your wairess or you my friend will pissed upon.

[You should probably get a job as a junkyard dog. It would pay better, and it suits ya.]

One Liner:
YOU MY FRIEND WILL PAY AND PAY YOU WILL< HONEY!!

[Who is REALLY paying? The person who suffers your rotten service for an hour or the person who has to look at herself in the mirror and realize that is as good as it is going to get? Your life sucks...sorry.]

Email : spread-n-ready@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i have been sleeping with my bestfriends boyfriend!!!!

[Here we go.]

and she has no clue whatsoever

[Which explains the friendship.]

and guess what i have a boy friend too who really loves me !!!!!(yeah right)

[He's probably sleeping with your best friend.]

and this guy i slept with has feelings for me (oh please)!!!!

[I have feelings for you too, but that's just disgust.]

and you know what i am already seeing this other guy who is my boy friends brother!!!!!(fucking cool)and his girlfriend told me the other day that she really trusts me.(poor her ,doesnt know what she is getting into)

[You've got to have a therapist. You're not just running the street, are you?]

One Liner:
keep the one eyed snake in your pants ,you asshole!!

[Are you kidding? You see more snakes than the Crocodile Hunter. Crikey!]

Email : irritated@senet.com.au

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
stupid assholes in this world constantely annoy me,

[It sounds like everything annoys you.]

and make it impossible for me to do my job ( as a nurse )

[So, sparky, what did you THINK was involved with being a nurse?]

without having to take at least one sick day a month in order to avoid contact with a single whingeing , selfish , pain in the arse........

[There's still you.]

One Liner:
if I was the only person on earth the animals would piss me off eventually.....

[Solution: Just exile yourself.]

Name: Jills maybe sometimes never but hmmmm.... i wonder

[If you don't know who you are, how am I supposed to be of any help?]

Email : jill?@ntlworld.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I'm good at it and I enjoy it. And I'M in control. Muahahaha

[This coming from someone that can't get the answer to "NAME" without Cliff Notes.]

One Liner:
So do me. My god can beat up your god.

[So who's your god? This oughta be good.]

Email : dildo-girl@lakefield.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i put up with mens shit way to long

[Sounds like this is still a problem for you.]

if it came to a man or a vibrator i would pick a vibrator i wouldnt have to listen to them

[You don't own any vibrators. They still hum.]

One Liner:
Havent i see you somewhere before, yeah thats why i dont go there anymore.

[But it was the sex-toy shop!]

Email : never@youm.ind

[But his name is Roscoe, which explains the manic hostility.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
OK I am a guy but that is ok.

[Glad you're okay with this.]

I thought I should let you know. I am a real heartless bitch and I want to be a member certified heartless bitch.

[I can hardly wait to see your reasons.]

I am a heartless bitch because I am reasonable and level mindedusually unless someone pisses me off and then I go whoop ass on them, you know.

[This doesn't paint a picture of stability.]

I don't put up with anyones crap, but I am rational,

[You keep telling me that, yet you say that you tend to flip out. Who are you convincing?]

and when I flip out at people I know perfectly well what I am doing and I am not some mindless punk or like some hateful tard.

[Well, now we have intent.]

Example: I told my girlfriend I was bisexual and she got freaked out and didnt talk to me for a few days

[You didn't expect this reaction?]

and then everything seem almost normal for about a week and then she told me she slept with my cousin.

[Before or after your revelation? Before or after your involvement with her? Make this make sense.]

My perfectly reasonable, heartless bitchyish, rational, deserved reaction: I didn't hesitate telling mutual friends what a slut she is,

[What a spin you've put on this. The reasonable, rational, deserved, and Heartless Bitch-like response is just to break up. If you don't like it, leave. Why talk about what you've thrown away?]

and I punched my ex cousin in the face.

[How is this your ex-cousin? How are you not a hypocrite? When you told her you were bi-sexual, had you not been involved with anyone at that time?]

He took a swing at me, and I punched him again and he fell over, and I walkwed away.

[This is pathetic.]

I really told her off (not yelling, just like making her feel bad) about what a decent person is and how I'm nice and I don't deserve to be with a slut like

[She didn't deserve you.]

her. She kind of made me feel bad by appologizing and stuff and I took her back

[Probably just trying to control your tendency to "flip out" when you don't get your way...until she could reach the door.]

and she said she only gave him a blowjob and I smacked her

[Because YOU wanted to give him the blow job?]

and she cried and we worked stuff out because she was like grovelling and I am going to dump her next

[I don't know what would be sicker, if this were truth, or if this is fiction.]

month because I have a crush on someone else.

[Heaven help them.]

THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DESERVE WHEN THEY HURT ME!!!!

[What a crybaby you are.]

And that's not my only example but I dont want this to be top long so by.

[Good riddance.]

One Liner:
I'LL RIP YOUR LEGS OFF AND BEET YOU WITH THM!!! HAHAhahhaa

[Not a moment lost on spelling practice.]

Email : goodgrief@aol.xom

[I didn't change the dot xom part.]

URL : peeheehee no

[pee hee hee?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I HATE MY HUSBAND AND I HIT HIM. He cheats on me and I literally beat the crap out of him. He's learning...

[Are you?]

We have turned it into a kind of kinky thing though but.. he doesnt cheat on me as often.

[This is kinky?]

im such a bitch, and if u dont think so ill make my husband get your address because he can hack into databases,

[Bring him on.]

and he will beat the crap out of you,

[Are you kidding? He can't even take you.]

and ill burn cigarettes into your eyes, ho.

[Just concentrate on your dysfunctional marriage.]

One Liner:
If you think I'm a bitch you should meet my sister.

[Don't bring any more of your family into this.]

No, I don't hate you, I just don't care about you at all!!!! FUCK YOU

[You don't care about yourself, either.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999

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