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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren


For the Week of December 3rd, 2000

Email : ennui@vic.australis.com.au

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Ask us about placing ads here.]

One Liner:
when i get what i want i never want it again ;)

[Life's just one big bore to you.]



Email : krishna@aol

[That's all folks.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a guy that went out witha heartless bitch and I would like everyone to hear my short story,PLEASE.

[A whine from someone that can't get his e-mail address correct. I'm all ears...or eyes...]

I believe in this day and age women have to be a heartless bitch to do certain things in their lives.

[She's got to be a sadist to date the likes of you.]

Especially with the way most men are these days. Yet, unfortunately I'm one of those guys or should I say 20 year old BOYS that actually respect women.

[Love me. Trust me. Do as I say. (cue up Labyrinth)]

Women are just as important as men are just as smarter.

[No doubts here that I am just as smarter than you.]

I went out with my EX for just over a year.

[Meaning you dated your ex, or that she's an ex now?]

I gave everything any girl could ever want or could possibly Imagine.

[I can imagine quite a lot.]

Every time I picked her up from any where whether it was work,school or dance class I always had one "perfect" long stem rose for her.

[Ahh. You're one of those. The first time you get a rose, it's nice. After the tenth time, you make a polite suggestion to STOP. What is she going to do with all those dollar roses, make potpourri?]

I felt she only deserved the best roses to suit her absolutely fascinating face.

[But not her mind.]

I would always make up songs for her and then sing them to her on her cell

[I shudder to think of your impromptu ballads...and the price she had to pay to listen to them. Couldn't you use a land line for that shit?]

phone.Every night I would stay over till she fell asleep in my arms then I would tuck her into her bed and give her the sweetest fairy tale kiss right on the center of her fore head.

[You are the equivalent of tying a plastic garbage bag over my head.]

I even recall one time she broke up with me just because I went with my family to my brothers B-day party at a restaurant and I didn't hang out with her.Even though I invited her she told me she never wanted to see me again.

[That kookster. Looking for any way OUT.]

That next day I found out she was down at the shore with her friend becky.I was already heart broken to begin with and I would of done anything to see her so I

[stalked her?]

left at 12:00 midnight and drove thre hours one way just to see her.When I got there I looked through the basement window only to see her sweet innocent face once again sleeping,without me there to tuck her in.

[Which is why she got the best sleep in a year.]

That alone tore me up inside. I then started knocking on the window and woke her up and she looked out the window and saw tears dripping down my face and ran outside and I gave her a kiss big enough to cure all heart disease.

[You're giving ME angina as I read this. Where are my emergency nitro tabs?]

I guess that kiss only lasted us a few more months because she dumped me again for no reason.

[Your story alone gives us PLENTY of good reasons.]

Well I was just wondering why I always treat girls good and I always get screwed in the end?

[That's what all you stalkers say.]

When will I find the one that treats me like I treat her?

[You really don't WANT someone to treat you like this. In case you do, try prison. They'll make sure you're kissed goodnight, and that you will never be alone, ever.]

thank you for taking time to read this.I sure could use a friend so if any one wants to e-mail me back regarding this letter=krishna@aol

[take out your own personal ad]

One Liner:
broken hearted

[Wah wah wah.]



Email : mammoryglandgirl@email.uc.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't let men stand in my way of being happy. If they don't agree with my ideas, fuck 'em, they're out the door. I've only got one life to live and I'm not living it compromising myself around how a man feels.

[This coming from a girl whose nicknames are "Hooters" and "Tits" and whose ultimate goal is to be a model for Victoria's Secret.]

One Liner:
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

[Hey! That will be your future bread-and-butter. Have some respect, and don't put on a show for our benefit.]



Email : jiggy-wit-it@indiana.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
yo i'm a heartless bitch because i dont give a fuck about you or nan nuther

[Stop watching MTv this second. Listening to Gangsta Rap doesn't mean that you can speak the lingo too.]

one of these bitches on here...i'm feelin like i should be yalls queen and not just a member of this bullshit

[Queen of Bullshit, what an apt title!]

One Liner:
i'm a bitch by blood not relation

[By blood IS relation.]



Email : hellocreepie@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I #$@%! said so. Don't question me, I know I'm right - worthless sniveling maggots. If I wanted to explain myself, I'd find myself a shrink.

[Funny you mention shrink.]

One Liner:
Scratch my surface and you'll find a Heartless Bitch!

[So what are you on the outside?]



Email : groveling@american.hasharon.k12

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm annoyed at guys and gurls who complain that i'm way to loud or way to stupid and i oftan say the quote "use yer head not ur dick!' please let me join the HB k

[Like asking nicely is all you need.]

sorry about the html thing i have no idea how 2do it k

[No.]

lov
bye

[Bye, indeed.]

One Liner:
Use ur Head not ur Dick

[Please use your fingers to type.]



Email : blackwidow@otenet.gr

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
-Do you know why they call me Spider???

[They do?]

-If you fall once into my net,

[You're a fisherman?]

you will regret it... Guess what asshole, you're dead...

[From laughter?]

One Liner:
The black cat of bad luck haunts in me...But beware,I'm like a burning angel of death...

[Somewhere, someone is scribbling this down because they think it's poetic.]



Email : justNastee@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
IM A HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN USING MEN FOR YEARS TO OBTAIN WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE.

[You don't want very much.]

I AM EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT AND SELF CONFIDENT AND LOVED BY MANY.

[Until they find out that they're being used.]

I HAVE A SWEET AND WONDERFUL FACE AND I USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

[Not face, lips.]

WHEN STUPID MEN OR WOMEN BITCH ABOUT THEIR LOUSY RELATIONSHIPS OR LOVELIFE I JUST GO... BET YOU WISH YOU WERE ME HUH???

[I'd like to go right now. You mean that you SAY. Say and go are two totally different verbs.]

LOL!! BECAUSE THE TITLE HEARTLESS BITCH SUITS ME SO WELL I BECAME A DOMME, BOTH PRO AND LIFESTYLE.

[You're at the wrong site. Try the singular form next time.]

I CANT STAND STUPID PEOPLE AND IF THEY ARE UGLY AND STUPID

[Irony...not just a metal.]

..FORGET IT..BOY DO THEY REALLY HAVE PROBLEMS. IM KIND AND LOVING TO THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO DESERVE IT...AKA..MY CHILD, BUT TO THE REST, THEY CAN KISS MY FAT ASS!!

[Not unless they pay...right?]

One Liner:
IF ITS FREE, ITS FOR ME!!!

[Because you're cheap.]









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