Latest: May 12, 2002

Previous 'Issues':

2002
December 23, 2001
December 16, 2001
December 9, 2001
December 2, 2001
November 25, 2001
November 18, 2001
November 11, 2001
November 4, 2001
October 28, 2001
October 21, 2001
October 14, 2001
October 7, 2001
September 30, 2001
September 23, 2001
September 16, 2001
September 9, 2001
August 19, 2001
August 12, 2001
August 5, 2001
July 29, 2001
July 22, 2001
July 15, 2001
July 8, 2001
July 1, 2001
June 24, 2001
June 17, 2001
June 10, 2001
June 3, 2001
May 27, 2001
May 20, 2001
May 13, 2001
May 6, 2001
April 29, 2001
April 22, 2001
April 15, 2001
April 4, 2001
March 31, 2001
March 25, 2001
March 18, 2001
March 11, 2001
March 4, 2001
February 25, 2001
February 18, 2001
February 11, 2001
February 4, 2001
January 28, 2001
January 22, 2001
January 12, 2001
January 7, 2001
January 5, 2001
December 30, 2001
December 23, 2000
December 10, 2000
December 3, 2000
November 26, 2000
November 19, 2000
November 12, 2000
November 5, 2000
October 29, 2000
October 22, 2000
October 15, 2000
October 8, 2000
October 1, 2000
September 24, 2000
September 17, 2000
September 9, 2000
September 2, 2000
August 27, 2000
August 20, 2000
August 12, 2000
August 6, 2000
July 30, 2000
July 23, 2000
July 16, 2000
July 10, 2000
June 24, 2000
June 19, 2000
May 28/June 12, 2000
May 22, 2000
May 15, 2000
May 7, 2000
May 1, 2000
April 24, 2000
April 17, 2000
April 10, 2000
April 2, 2000
March 20, 2000
March 6, 2000
February 20, 2000
February 13, 2000
January 30, 2000
January 16, 2000
January 2, 2000
December 13, 1999
December 5, 1999
November 28, 1999
November 21, 1999
November 14, 1999
November 7, 1999
Aug 24, 1999
June 1, 1999
May 24, 1999
May 17, 1999
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

edited by JadeSyren


For the week of November 12, 2000

Email : deranged@SMITH-LITHO.COM

UserID : SHEBITCH

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
beacause i am tough as nails !!

[I guess that's the price you pay for being dumb as dirt.]

live with it !!

[You say that like I have to deal with you.]

One Liner:
move bitch !

[Did you spend all night thinking of this one, genius?]



Email : droolie@midway.uchicago.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I spit on children, puppies, and fluffy bunnies.

[You must get cotton-mouth quite often.]

Grandmothers fear me.

[Everyone fears you. That's because they are running from the crazy drooler that spits on animals down the street.]

Mothers keep their sons from me lest they be Bobbit-ized.

[When did that become a verb?]

People know not to bring their troubles to me because I'll laugh. A lot. Loudly.

[Probably giving them a "shower" when you do.]

Finally, I am a heartless bitch because I want to be. And no one can change me.

[That's right! Nothing gets through that thick skull of yours.]

One Liner:
PMS? Fuck PMS. My problem is with those dumbass racial supremacists who won't shut up about "conquering the world." Sweetie, you couldn't conquer a fucking microwave, let alone the world. Why don't you leave the world for those who can handle the responsibility? Like me.

[Because lotsa microwaves need conquerin'. Use lots of spit. She's just the woman for the job.]



Email : dazed@hushmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch: I hate people. especially stupid people. like people who like to stick limey little messages into their java applets in an attempt to show some sort of skill at coding, in fact, it's not even coding, it's not even fucking compiled.

[Yawn.]


*sigh*
I'll probably hate whoever's reading this thing, because yer probably a loser.

[I'd hate you right back except you're dreadfully dull.]

I've found that most people are.

[You complain about less than 1% of the internet community, and you claim to know MOST people. Please.]

So go ahead and ditch this into the rejected pile, I have no fucking clue

[Agreed.]

why i even took the time to write this....

[Do the world a favor. Disconnect your keyboard.]

One Liner:
Dont you have an appointment at a post-natal abortion clinic somewhere?

[Aren't you the poster boy?]



Email : Father_Son_and-Holy-Spirt@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
< "I'm heartless bitch because of the all the pathetic whinny little assholes out there make that way!!"

[I see, it's all someone ELSE'S fault.]

I have total control over my body, mind, and spirt.

[No, you don't. Didn't you just say that they made you that way?]

My mouth moves freely,

[And independent of brain.]

and ful of spirt.

[Good. You're loaded and may take aim at all the fluffy bunnies. Loogies away.]

My mind works all the time thinking of how some way I can make my next victim's life miserable ass hell,

[Ass hell? Would that be like eating a lot of jalapenos and okra? Or would it be more like diamond dust toilet paper? Ooh, maybe it's like the first bowel movement after anal surgery, repeated throughout all eternity?]

but of course some people say this is like heaven, if true i would rather go to hell. I'm like the devil i love to eat everyone's spirt, chew it, and spit it back out

[Now that's just damned nasty.]

so I can laugh at their tears.

[I'm in tears right now, thinking about toilet seats with spikes encrusted in them.]

One Liner:

There's only one true judge, so chill and let the heartless bitches do their job!!

[We hereby find you guilty and sentence you to remedial schooling, effective immediately.]



Email : MRman@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm just sick of all the whining losers out there. I work hard for what I've got and no little teary-eyed weakling should have itany easier than I did. You want it? THEN WORK FOR IT!!

[Fine. Start by working for your own e-mail address, and stop using your boyfriend's.]

One Liner:
You want it? Then WORK for it!!!

[Truer words were ne'er spoken.]



Email : CAPSLOCKPRIDE@AOL.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
BECAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!

[Oooh. More examples of ass hell.]

One Liner:
I'M JUST A CLUNT

[How the fuck do you misspell cunt?]



Email : blank@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Too busy to fill this in, I guess.]

One Liner:
I am only a bitch because i was born.

[Well, I guess that's better than being a bitch by marriage.]



Email : BIGAZZFOREVER@AOL.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
IM NATURALLY BITCHY. JUST ASK MY BOYFRIEND. I TAKE IT ALL OUT ON HIM.

[Call back when you're adult enough to confront the person that angers you, not some easy target.]

One Liner:
ACT LIKE A DICK And you'll get jacked like one

[Somehow, this isn't threatening.]



Email : NEVASAWHA@AOL.COM

[User #1]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I AM A HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A FUCK FOR DUMB ASS NIGGAS AND DUMB ASS BITCHES.

[And you felt that you needed to specify this?]

I DONT TAKE SHIT. DO YOU?

[You don't get to ask the questions, missy.]

I AM AS SARCASTIC AS IT COMES

[Truly, I am reeling in your sarcasm now.]

AND BLACK TO THE CORE.DO REALLY CARE?U MAY LIKE ME IF U LIKE BITCHES WHO TELL IT LIKE IT IS.DO U? I DONT?

[Either you don't like yourself, or you are confused to the point of being incoherent. I'm betting it's the latter.]

One Liner:

HERES A BITCH THERES A BITCH

[Everywhere a bitch-bitch. Old McDonald....]

ARE U A BITCH CUZ I'M A BITCH

[Don't call us, we'll call you. Next!]



Email : nevasawha@aol.com

[Same name, different user. This is why I require profiles for all AOL accounts.]

URL : what the is url

[How did you get here?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a heart-less BITCH because I dont give two fucks about people and their corney ass opions about

[...your sentence structure.]

and I tell it like it is

[Well, as much as your limited vocabulary will allow.]

and not how it should be if you got a problem with me you can kiss my heartless ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[How is ten or more exclamation points expressing your point more effectively than just one? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to fill the page with them, if that was how they worked?]

One Liner:
I was born a bitch raised to be a bitch and i will die BITCH.bitch!

[...and you'll be doomed to repeat cliché.]



Email : less-substance@BLOT.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
"IAM A HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE I DON;T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS. I'LL SCREW MY MANS BEST FRIEND BEFOR HE SCREWS MINE.

[A new class of friends would do you a world of good.]

One Liner:
IT TAKES A BITCH TO KNOW A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

[Trust me. You don't make the cut.]



Email : www.dum-dum@nightmail.com

[Yes, she left her URL as an address.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I believe the only way for me to get to the top in my particular job position is to be the first one that steps up to the challenge, regardless if others I know are interested. If you snooze, you loose! I don't believe in sitting on my hands because of the mere fact that I may be aware of their desire, whether it came before or after the interest of a "so-called" friend or co-worker! If you want the "cookies" then don't be afraid "mix up the dough" and "turn up the heat!"

[Translation: Don't be afraid to use sex to get where you want.]

I am also intolerate when men, especially at the job, try to act superior to you simply because of their gender! Especially since they are generally making less money, have less glout, and are overall, less skilled and motivated than myself.

[That's only because they didn't fuck their way to the top.]

I have no problem sharing my status with them in such terms that, although seem elementary, are enough to help them understand the absolute truth of their plight. This is also true for some of the hip-swaying newbies who take their tight skirts, lipstick, and low-cut blouses as an indication of their rank and worth within the corporate arena. For them, I have but one word, PLEASE.

[Because it's just too obvious.]

One Liner:
If I'm "acting" like a BITCH, then I deserve an Academy Award for sharing center stage with YOU, Jerkoff!

[This is one of those insults that really isn't. Are you getting the award for acting the best, like the target is acting like a jerk-off, or are you in a supportive role? Either way, it doesn't have the sting you might have hoped for.]



Email : meathead@rraz.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Why do I have to explain how I'm a bitch? Take my word for it! I am a bitch!

[You have a wonderful sense of humor. Why do you have to explain it? Take your word for it? I can't stop laughing.]

One Liner:
my other vehicle is a broom!

[What kind of mileage do you get?]



Email : sadistically-stupid@okc-65-26-199-6.mmcable.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I only feed my cats dry cat food. I'm mean that way.

Also, once I bought a mouse Sherman's Pet House down the street and watched my tabby cat, Tiger, rip out its guts and eat it. He played with it for nearly fifteen minutes. It nearly made me retch, but sometimes you have to be cruel to mice.

[I've never seen idiocy showcased so aptly before. Brava. Way to miss the point.]

To be truly heartless (so far I have only been slightly naughty) I have to display the fact that the only opinion that counts is my own. My freemail address is my main address. It's a piece of cake for me to check from work or home, or a friend's house. If you can't handle that, then I suppose I can live with not being associated with you.

[Why is that rule about no web-based free-mail so hard for some of you. We don't care if you've got free-mail from every provider. You simply MUST submit with the e-mail address from the provider you pay for. Got it? Good grief.]

I will kill the one I gave you as soon as I receive a declined/accepted

[Consider this your declined request. You're really the "lucky" one. Most just get resounding silence as their response.]

request, so please change my e-mail address to I-hate-meeses-to-pieces@hotmail.com. After all, that's where the one I set up is forwarding to.

[Like you've outsmarted me. Look who's laughing now.]

One Liner:
I like being mean and spiteful. A lot.

[Especially to mice.]








Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999

Send this page to someone who needs to read it.
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Home
Search HBI
HBI FAQ
   Rants
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Links
    I'M NOT BITTER...
   Auntie Dote
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Privacy Policy
   Awards
   HBI Sitings

---

Want to link to HBI?



  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)


Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site