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May 17, 1999
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren

For the Week of Sept 17th, 2000


Email : idiot1@gurlmail.com

UserID : Howie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because I am constantly told it.

[Probably by Howie.]

One Liner:
Don't call me girl, or babe ot chick
I'm woman, get it you prick?

[Gosh, all this rhyming is making me sick.]



Email : angie.j@unwelcome-poet.au.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well I answered yes to all your questions except one.....I like Bon Jovi lyrics
and some soppy love poems....I've actually written a couple LOL Okay....so I

[Well, okay...but don't share them with us or anything like that.]

still live in fantasyland sometimes...but shit no-one's perfect!!
People who constantly complain about their lives and do nothing about changing
them drive me crazy but I figure that it teaches me patience so maybe they do
have some kind of purpose.
I guess this poem I wrote a while ago best sums up how I like to live:

[Nooooo! NO! God! Why!]

I was told who I could be
I didn't know how to break free
Trying to be something I wasn't
Was nearly the death of me

[Yes, yes, very good. We know that damn near everything could rhyme with BE.
Ever hear of enjambment? Don't simply string some sentences together, rhyme
the last word and call yourself "Poet". You're not fit to eat shit from a Poet's shoes.]


Don't tell me how to act
Don't tell me who I should be
I know who I am now
And I'm going to be me

[Can't you just see Disney in all this? The beginning song of an unlikely
heroine, reaching forth to leave home and head into adventure? Nah, this is
just juvenile schlock.]


Don't try to play mind games
And mess with my head
Those games won't work anymore
Trying to play them made me feel dead

[Just reading this proves you're brain dead.]

Don't tell me how to act
Don't tell me who I should be
I know who I am now
And I'm going to be me

[Where have I heard this before?]

I'm going on with my life
I've learnt so much from this
I won't hold myself back any longer
I've had a taste of bliss

[Would you like a Bliss combo meal? It's free with our Crow Sandwich
Special.]


By the way I have another version of what bitch stands for....Babe In Total
Control of Herself.

[Tell me that you don't think you invented this one.]

One Liner:
It's harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge. ~ Arnold Glasow

[All you'd have to do is not talk.]



Email : glenn@lame.com

UserID : biteme

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I don't stand for crap from people I don't
like.If I don't like you then YOU FUCKIN' KNOW!!!!!If being the way I am makes
me bitch,a hoe,or a FEMINIST!!!Then so be it I'm proud of who & what I am. I
will not be ignored,& if being heard involves getting out of this 1 horse town
then so be it.I'll go someplace & be somebody & won't let anyone,anything, or
any kind of feelings get in my way.I'll be heard politicaly & there will be
anarchy.I will be the voice for GENERATION -X-!!!!!!

[The voice of Generation X-tra stupid, maybe.]

One Liner:
Keep it real,but keep it 2 yourself, SOSHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

[Your Ritalin wasn't in stock, was it?]



Email : seppaku@aol.com

URL : yes, but none of you would like it. It's crap.

[So is this application. (obligatory rimshot)]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
There will never be a man I will trust completely. I'm sick of Teen and YM and
all those other crap-mags along that same line. And if I hear one more
driveling, sniveling, "I miss my boyfriend" rant from any one of my
friends/aqaintances I'm going to scream. I'm rude, I'm loud, and when people
tell me to shut up, so I just get louder.


[From her AOL profile:]
Wanna chat?: Cre-8-tiv spelling...(this means U) is not acceptable...
please know the location of the caps lock key and use it frequently, and don't
ask questions anaswered in my profile.


[Well, looks like we've got a fan. Wanna give us due credit in the future, plagiarist?]

One Liner:
I am not a wounded woman waiting to be pulled out from a hole I've dug myself
into. I am a strong one with my feet on the ground who's staying exactly where
she Goddamned well pleases.-me

[...and you're lacing up someone else's boots.]



Email : dummy-in-a-jar@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate my boyfriend, but I stay with him anyway. I hate the world, and men.

[Then what I'd have to say, in the grand scheme of things, won't really faze
you.]


One Liner:
I have pms and a handgun..any questions?

[Yes. If your tampon is hanging out of the barrel, what's in your
snatch?]









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