Latest: May 12, 2002

Previous 'Issues':

2002
December 23, 2001
December 16, 2001
December 9, 2001
December 2, 2001
November 25, 2001
November 18, 2001
November 11, 2001
November 4, 2001
October 28, 2001
October 21, 2001
October 14, 2001
October 7, 2001
September 30, 2001
September 23, 2001
September 16, 2001
September 9, 2001
August 19, 2001
August 12, 2001
August 5, 2001
July 29, 2001
July 22, 2001
July 15, 2001
July 8, 2001
July 1, 2001
June 24, 2001
June 17, 2001
June 10, 2001
June 3, 2001
May 27, 2001
May 20, 2001
May 13, 2001
May 6, 2001
April 29, 2001
April 22, 2001
April 15, 2001
April 4, 2001
March 31, 2001
March 25, 2001
March 18, 2001
March 11, 2001
March 4, 2001
February 25, 2001
February 18, 2001
February 11, 2001
February 4, 2001
January 28, 2001
January 22, 2001
January 12, 2001
January 7, 2001
January 5, 2001
December 30, 2001
December 23, 2000
December 10, 2000
December 3, 2000
November 26, 2000
November 19, 2000
November 12, 2000
November 5, 2000
October 29, 2000
October 22, 2000
October 15, 2000
October 8, 2000
October 1, 2000
September 24, 2000
September 17, 2000
September 9, 2000
September 2, 2000
August 27, 2000
August 20, 2000
August 12, 2000
August 6, 2000
July 30, 2000
July 23, 2000
July 16, 2000
July 10, 2000
June 24, 2000
June 19, 2000
May 28/June 12, 2000
May 22, 2000
May 15, 2000
May 7, 2000
May 1, 2000
April 24, 2000
April 17, 2000
April 10, 2000
April 2, 2000
March 20, 2000
March 6, 2000
February 20, 2000
February 13, 2000
January 30, 2000
January 16, 2000
January 2, 2000
December 13, 1999
December 5, 1999
November 28, 1999
November 21, 1999
November 14, 1999
November 7, 1999
Aug 24, 1999
June 1, 1999
May 24, 1999
May 17, 1999
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren

For the Week of Sept 2nd, 2000

Email : lame_and_dull@telstra.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because im a slut and every one hates me for it and think im easy!

[You forgot to change your gender to female. Tough luck. And he took the time to answer all those questions, too.]

One Liner:
Fuck off you pimp

[Talking like that will only get you beat down again. You know how these pimps are.]




Name: hoo wants 2 know?

[Certainly not I.]

Email : nahnah@myname.com

[I guess "Coward" was taken.]

UserID : haha!

[It's customary to tell the joke first, then laugh. People like you just irritate me when you try to tell jokes, because
you fuck up the punchline.]


Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
"i dont have 2 tell u, but its because im THE B@CH!!!! yeah!!!!

[Bach is dead, and had far more intelligence in his hair follicle than you.]

and like, men r stoopid us b@ches dont have to live with them!!!!

[B@ches like you just don't have to live. Go! Start your own revolution! Pick a remote location
with plenty of swampland.]


yeah!!!! we can keel them all and get away wit because were B@CHES!!!

One Liner:
"shoot first and have sex later!!!"

[Euw.]




Email : bitter_divorcee@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am recently divorced from the biggest asshole who ever walked this eaarth and fuck yes i am bitter! He is a lying,cheating
slimeball who i wish bad things on! hell yes i am bitter !

[We're not the First Wives club.]

One Liner:
Do all men think only with their dicks??

[What organ are you using at present?]




Email : friend_of_cocksucker@virginia.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
this cocksucker that i had been friends with for the longest time and i decided to give it a try as a couple.

[You pick rotten friends, and then you decide to date them. Woe is you.]

well, a short time later, he told me that he was seeing another girl, while seeing me. finally, about 3 months later, i am finally able
to get over him. he had the audacity to ask me one night "are you truely over me?"

[Why are you still talking to him?]

and, i just blew up and kicked him in the nuts. coming from someone who rarely gets upset--exact words: "you know, fuckhead,
everyone has a life's lesson they learn at some point. they never repeat the mistake. you were my life's lesson. thank you. lesson learned. that will be 3.50$

[You only charge $3.50 for the honor of shitting on you? Wow. Don't let that get out.]

please. fuck off." let me say that i had never felt as elated as i had at that point.

[You're young yet. Wait until you bail out someone you had arrested. Imagine the warm glow you'll feel then.]

One Liner:
Opinion needs no evidence, and i'm offended that you've questioned mine...from an un-remembered source. i love using this.

[Of course you do. It means you're allowed to spout as much rhetoric as possible and not have to answer for it.]




Email : she_tried@tinyworld.couk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm tired of those whiners and annoying people who think there "IT" and so much
better than u and also coz i wanna get more of a no-shit attitude and become an
even better "heartless bitch"

[We're not a Boot-Camp, either.]

One Liner:
All stressed out and no one to choke.

[Auto-asphyxia is a viable solution.]




Email : nightmare@damn-right.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because I ran for my life from an abusive drunken husband at a tender age,

[She was 6.]

learned to take care of myself, and I mean in EVERY way, and became HARD.. I
would rather kick ass then kiss it, and if you try to kiss mine i will shit on
you. I would like to meet am an that can put me in my place without using
violence..I've yet to meet one. I sometimes do things like trick ppl into


[Try searching for BDSM.]

looking stupid so I can show them how superior I am.. and for those who have
stolen my love itnerests.. no matter how lame hte guy is,,, that chick best
watch her back around ,e///

[Her back-space button ran for its life at a tender age. She was always
pounding on it, taking it for granted. Serves her right.]


One Liner:
(him)"a hellcat...christ, what makes you a hellcat?"
(me)"The inner brat coupled with the outer bitch."

[A one-liner shouldn't need a set-up. STOP DOING THIS.]



[Sometimes they come back for more.]

Email : nightmare@damn-right.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because if my intense duality I must do this

[The voices...in her head...make her submit lame shit twice.]

ok my last submit was weak cuz I am feeling sort of lighthearted,

[Emptyheaded?]

so I thought you should see my latest personal ad.... here it is...

[AIIIIIE! No. Anything but that. Blech. Ptui.]

Once bitten..... OK I was bit more than once, they say love like you have never
been hurt.. but then I am not the masochist I must
appear to be to have the scars I have. I am not looking for a mate.. just
looking for friends(They MUST see the humor in this!!!..)

[Or else those voices will command her to KILL THEM.]

I have serious doubts there is any little difference between Good and Bad,

[Which is why you subjected me to TWO of your horrendous applications.]

and the difference between Right and Wrong is an ethical issue,

[Kinda like saying that water is wet, but that's a dampness issue.]

but there IS a difference between love and sex you know,...too bad so many don't

[Not if you don't see a difference between Good and Bad, and wear scantily clad ethics.]

know what that means...you CAN have both with the same person and not be
imprisoned... Wait a minute.. life experience says THAT is Dead Wrong!! There is
no difference between love and sex...

[Is all this in your ad? Your phone is ringing off the hook by now.]

just a lot of messed up ppl with strange baggage built up by other messed up ppl that scare new other ppl..

[Ppl...ppl who need ppl...are the luckiest ppl in the world.]

what's the matter with YOU?? can't get any? Which were you REALLY looking for?
Are you sure?? we ll need love.. gots to give to get... can you spare any? or

[The new breed of beggar: Got any spare love? Baby needs shoes.]

are you just some horny bastard annoying other horny bastards with your cessant

[That is funny on a level you don't understand. Your intelligence is very
"cessant". (You know she DID type it correctly the first time, and thought she had the wrong word, since she didn't know if they fucked their sisters.)]


need for love and confusing it with fear and loathing and calling it sex. If you
are not damaged goods you are either a liar or very young and raised in a

[And let me tell ya, Nightmare KNOWS damaged goods.]

bubble. Hey some guy just called me a crazy bitch for this posting! Ya think??

[Crazy? Certifiable.]

.. I am just a product of my
environment (you should meet the ex, NOT!).... This computer thing is a nice way to get out and stay isolated...

[Society at large likes you that way.]

what are you waiting for?? everyone!!! come on! throw a party and invite all
the ppl that treated you like shit... find out what you always knew!!! It IS lonely at the top!!

[No, no. Being on top doesn't mean that you're AT the top.]

BTW, having a lot to offer and giving it all up are about the same as far as my
experience allows, and I got most of mine back.. piece by broken piece... any

[Cue throbbing violin music.]

takers?? Anyone curious enough to look behind my mask? aren't girls made of
sugar and spice? well cayenne is a spice... and sugar ferments, you know, like rum...

[This is still no reason to sit at a bar all day.]

One Liner:
what do you call a woman with no asshole?

[Constipated.]

single!!

[Ah. My second guess. (Yeesh.)]



 







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999

Send this page to someone who needs to read it.
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Home
Search HBI
HBI FAQ
   Rants
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Links
    I'M NOT BITTER...
   Auntie Dote
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Privacy Policy
   Awards
   HBI Sitings

---

Want to link to HBI?



  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)


Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site