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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren

For the Week of August 20th, 2000

Name: IzSoDaNgErOuS

Email : [and she listed one from excite.com]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
hey somebody`s gotta be & it might as well be me!! i`ve been put threw alot of crap & hey my motto is: paybacks is bytch! whatever goes around comes around in 10folds!!

[Pray that's not true, otherwise you're doomed to receive some annoying, misspelled, downright silly e-mail soon.]

One Liner:
Whatever goes around, Comes around in TENFOLDS!!

[This is more like two-ply.]



Name: MS BITCH TO YOU

Email : Fooliet@AOL.COM

UserID : BITEME

[Somehow I get the feeling that she doesn't like us.]

URL : NO NOT FOR YOU

[Of course you didn't. I can't imagine why you'd hide your webpage, but here it is. In all its stupid, silly and sappy (but not sappy ENOUGH) glory.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
iM A HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE OF BITCHES LIKE YOU...

[Our beloved Fooliet...never taking responsibility.]

ALWAYS THINKING YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERY ONE

[Just dimwits like you.]

..lOOKING DOWN THAT WHINY NOSE OF YOURS.

[When you type in all caps, stop hitting the shift key. It only proves that you know better. Concentrate.]

YOU ARE ALWAYS DEGRADING OTHERS TO MAKE YOURSELVES FEEL BETTER.

[Having gotten that off your chest, don't you feel better?]

AND LET ME TELL YOU HONEY I AM BEYOND BITCH.

[So fucking beyond.]

SO DONT BOTHER LOOKING DOWN YOUR NOSE AT ME BECAUSE ILL SQUASH YOU LIKE A FUCKING BUG ON THE GROUND

[Inferiority complexes are as much fun as poking hypocrites with a stick.]

BITE MY ASS BITCHES

One Liner:
BITE MY LILLY WHITE ASS AND LIKE IT

[All this aggression for a DATE?]



Email : assfire@webtv.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because I am.

[Like I don't hear that one 25 times a day.]

If that's not enough for you, you can kiss my ass.

[Bend over and wait.]

One Liner:
You say "bitch" like it's a bad thing

[From someone who really CAN'T do any better.]



Email : FUGAZiGrrrL666@1am3.com

URL : [angelfire site listed]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
no html!.

[You're kidding me, right?]

..OK,where can i start..well,4 starters,i live in a town where guys are always stoping their cars and asking 4 blow jobs and shit...

[That would be Everywhere, USA.]

then theres one of the crew*jessie*..she is ALWAYS complaining about not having a boyfriend,and i have 2 hold my back EVEYDAY so i dont bitch smack her!...

[I feel that way about people that type in a quasi-cryptic, yet wholly boring alpha-numeric substitution code.]

4 real!..and then*OF COURES* theres the people fliping out on us at the mall cause we r too "freaky"....where did that word come from?? it really pisses me off!...and fucking EVERYONE always telling me im 2 "OPINIONATED" YEA?? SO WHAT? i dont give a fuck!...AND FUCKING propation officers 2!! OMIGOD! they acually DO follow u around!...

[You don't think we pay them to care about you.]

..and fucking DRUG TESTING .....i think thats when i get the most wigged out....

[What's so bad about pissing in a cup? Too worried that you'll piss hot, or on your fingers?]

OK!! i THINK THATS ENUFF SHIZZNK...

[So ends the transmission from her planet.]

One Liner:
"baby,THEY DONT SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! Ci`??

[It's okay, you don't either.]

[Special bonus one-liner]

*DRUGS OF CHOICE: weed,shroomies,ocasionally acid****MAKE SURE U KNOW UR DEALER!!!! I DO NOT RECOMENED DRUG USE 4 DUM PEOPLE***

[Look what it's done for her.]



Email : femivictim@rutgers.edu

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My official nickname is Fascist Feminazi.

[Yawn.]

What made me this way? I was once a naive, innocent, idealistic little chickling who fell in love with a boy whose moral fibers are composed of the weekest synthetic material imaginable.

[Face a grim fact, Victim. You chose him. Learn to accept personal responsibility for your actions. You sound like Flip Wilson's Geraldine.]

After being told that I wouldn't ever be able to keep a b/f after him because he's the only guy in this entire world that would be able to put up with my "shit".

[And your little life would be so incomplete without a man.]

What sort of "shit" you ask?

[No, I didn't. Frankly, I don't care. You ate it, you digest it. Don't rehash it now.]

Shit apparently means refusal to give a guy a blow job. Oh, did I mention that he said this to me three months into our 2 LONG years together? How did it end?

[If it's not a murder-suicide, I'm going to find it hard to care.]

Well, since I wouldn't put out, he decided to go sleep with a barrel shaped whore.

[Since body-type is the measure of worth for you, I'll bet you're crushed.]

In any case, after about 3 days worth of crying and being in a drunken stupor, I decided that the relationship needed to end.

[What relationship?]

However, he comes crying back to me, saying how he has changed and what not, I decided to stupidly take him back. Of course, I wise up

[I wouldn't use "wise up" to describe you.]

and decide to break up with him again. Post break up, I finally gained reality spectacles. His behavior hasn't changed, but I was finally able to see him accurately. Apparently, I'm the ultimate bitch for breaking up with him and hurting him because he didn't do anything wrong. His decisions are made due to the poor treatment he receives from others, hence, he is actually the victim.

[Shit, this is a match made in heaven. You guys are peas in the same ridiculous pod.]

Well, with a shatttered heart, disillusionment, and being very irritated by football players, frat boys, pre-pubescent boys, high schoolers and random old men hit on me ... I have become my new persona. A Meglomaniacal Fascist Feminazi.

[You should be called "Bitter Doormat".]

One Liner: I'm a Meglomaniacal Fascist Feminazi and I am so damn proud of it.

[Just as long as you didn't do this to yourself.]



Email : stanky-1@aol.com

UserID : bigwhore

[Hmmm.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i bit his penis offi treat him like shit i ruin everyones lives because i fucking can

[You mean it gets worse than biting off his cock?]

One Liner:
bite his cock off

[What then?]



Email : notsosuave@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I help people get fired...

[They can probably achieve that without you.]

I park in front of my house in such a way that no other car could fit there just so my neighbor will have to park across the street...

[So YOU'RE the one.]

I've refused to do work for another co-worker because I just don't care for his exsistance...

[Are you still employed?]

This girl was pissing my off, so I set her up with my best guy friend, just so he could play her...

[That's fine and dandy today, but the day will come when your friend who lacks personal integrity finds you to be a most excellent victim.]

I've told off people I didn't know cause I hear them whinning about something that can't be helped, like an accident that caused a delay...

[I bet you have all the weight of a fly buzzing, and a remarkable similarity in sound.]

One Liner:
I might be a bitch, but at least I was the pick of the litter.

[That's only because you're trash.]



Email : empty@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

One Liner:
yeah right you really love me

[Sometimes it's better to remain silent.]



Email : –Ílt„dawn@guesswho.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am sick of woman complaining about hubby.

[Me Jade. Me no like bad application. Me toss it in shitpile. Me laugh much.]

You don't like it?..Get your shit together and get out!! Go bitch at the trees,

[AAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaah! Tarzan screams at the jungle.]

go bitch at the walls, but stop bitching at me!.. Do I look like I care?.. And for all the politically correct types out there.....Grow up, and stop being retentive. Anyway *Smiles* have a nice day!

One Liner:
*Looks earnest*...ohh really, after your parents divorce they were still brother and sister, so it is not that bad, you moron.

[You switch verb tenses more than underwear in this clunker of a one-liner and you're calling someone ELSE a moron? (Tarzan no know verb tenses.)]



Email : thebubbleheaded@clara.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
im a heartless bitch because i wish to moan about teh pathetic life forms that whine and masturbate and no matter what plans i come up with my plan to xterminate them always fails. im now seeking professional help

[Join me in a sigh of relief.]

One Liner:
with all that testosterone flying around its a wonder a heartless bitch like me doesn't grow a penis!....... gawd help us if that was possible

[Be sure to mention this at your next session.]


 







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