by JadeSyren
For the Week of June 19th, 2000
Email : guzzler@home.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
SPIT? SWALLOW???? Hell honey, I gargle and shoot threw my nose! I have fucking talent!!!
[You'd get the gold if this were an Olympic event. Your sinuses must be clean as a whistle.]
One Liner:
Can I put you out of my misery?
[Only if you'd consider suicide or hermitdom as a viable option for the rest of your life.]
Email : Kandykornnut@secretconfession.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i was at my boyfiends house and one of his buddies was there, and we were making out with him
[Would "we" be you and all your personalities, or just you and your boyfiend?]
and every time i looked at his buddie i would lick my lips...teasing him i could see his bulge in his pants rise.I told my bf i was going home i lived like 4 houses away and his buddie lives 7 houses away..so we walked home together..well theres a park on the way so we stoped and fucked on the pinic table just as we switched positions guess who come driving up...opps well they got in a fight and
[Sounds like a lover's spat. Doesn't sound like they were fighting OVER you, just because of you.]
well i got what i wanted anyway he was boring i just needed a little fun!!!hehe
[And when you're 60, you'll wonder where your life went, and you still won't be able to spell "picnic".]
One Liner:
sex is like Kandy you better eat it or it will melt
[Sex will melt? You can eat sex? What the hell are you talking about, Kandy?]
Email : deluded@informa.mk
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I like insulting guys with lower career than I have and I like playing games on them. If I am going out with a stupid engineer,
[This would be a sanitation engineer.]
I go and fuck and ambassador
[This would be a fast food ambassador, or even a petroleum dispensing ambassador.]
that can satisfy my ego, for example.
[Why, when lying and exaggerating works so well for you?]
One Liner:
I still can see them crawling and begging for mercy.
[I can still see them clutching their sides with mirth.]
Email : missselfinvolved@cs.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
...I am a scholar of my mother-in-law. I'm a heartless bitch because, after years of being "polite" and "tolerant" of my mother-in-law's selfish demands, I am taking control of the family now.
[Planning to push the old lady down the stairs?]
I will no longer tolerate my mother-in-law ignoring me during visits to her home, while she dotes on my baby daughter and husband.
[Count your blessings. Many in-laws don't acknowledge the offspring.]
I will no longer tolerate my mother-in-law stuffing my toddler full of sweets after the baby hadn't eaten a bite of her supper.
[What. A. Crime.]
I will no longer come running to my mother-in-law's bedside at the hospital, when she's hospitalized because she can't take responsibility when managing all of her prescription drugs (a ploy for sympathy).
[Dear Frith-above! She's an old lady. Shit, there are some days that I can barely remember to take my birth control on time, and I'm fairly spry. The bad news is that even IF she's a conniving old bag, she's still HIS mother, and your daughter's grandmother, and she always will be. Her rotten behavior doesn't excuse yours, either.]
My mother-in-law is bouncy and super-healthy when there's a shopping trip or exciting event to attend... but falls "deathly ill" on the day her husband is planning on taking his Harley out for a spin with his Hog Chapter buddies, or when her son (my husband) has failed to call or visit for a week or two.
[The jealousy is eating you whole, m'dear.]
Also, I refuse to "give of myself" to this woman,
[By all means, give NONE of yourself to this woman. There's little enough of you as it is.]
who threatened to sue my husband when he was left a hefty sum of money by his grandmother in her will, while my mother-in-law was left "ZERO." (Begs to wonder... must've been a good reason why she was written out of the will by her own mother????)
[There's not a lot to your husband either. You are peas in a pod. I can't believe the unmitigated selfishness the pair of you exhibit. If I were lucky enough to inherit money, I would share it and not worry about WHY they were cut out. Believe it or not, the usual reason for not being included has more to do with who NEEDS it most. In other words, the shiftless ne'er-do-well, the drunk, the hopeless dreamer will inherit more than the kid that got their act together. In this case, it may have just gone to the grandkids, and not the siblings.
It also begs the question, since you're asking, of what YOU'VE done to make your mother in law dislike you.]
I believe I earned my "heartless bitch" stripes this weekend, while my mother-in-law was in the hospital for a self-induced "illness." Rather than rushing to her side, along with her sweet, lovely granddaughter
[Would this be your kid? What a shameful thing to do.]
and her wonderful, loving son (my husband), I had my father-in-law over to our house for some BEERS and STEAKS, and we had a great old time with him!!! (a nice time that he deserved!!)
[You took advantage of the situation and seized the reins for yourself, which is the root of your problem with "Mom".]
Of course, I heard about it later, when my mother-in-law called, sounding pathetic, telling me how she "misses" us.... (hinting that she was terribly disappointed that we didn't shower her with gifts while she was in the hospital.) But, how quickly she has recovered!!
[With this family, blood is no thicker than the bank account.]
One Liner:
Know the rules well, so you can break them right.
[You mean "in your favor".]
Email : et622@whatanaddressthiswas.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
if a guy comes up to me at a party and its quite obvious that hes not worth it and only interested in ONE thing ill kindly direct him to a nearby skank who will gladly give him a half rate blow job for free!
[Which is how he found you in the first place. Aren't kickbacks great?]
One Liner:
"see, I would give you my phone number but i genually believe that youre an arrogant pig you thinks with his dick!!!!"
[Is that generally or genuinely?]
[And she tries again.]
Email : emily_bitch@eyeahright.com
UserID : bitch
[Lays it on thick.]
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
if a guy comes up to me at a party whos clearly thinking with one thing ill kindly escort him in the direction of a nearby skank who will give him a free blow job!!!
[You're going to be one busy girl at parties.]
One Liner:
"dont fuck with me... oh hold on you wouldnt even get that far your too much of a loser!!!!!!!!!!
[I can't believe that you thought this was better.]
Email : popularcandies@aol.com
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I fucked my boys best friend 5 times and then I slept with him telling him I was still a virgin
[Good thing you date dummies.]
One Liner:
I can catch cum in my mouth a mile away
[You and Guzzler should get your act on the road.]
Email : Fuckme@xtra.hard
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
You dont wanna fuck with me...cos ill fuckin kill you.....i dunno...im not a bitch....im just fuckin plain evil
[You've been misdirected. Crazy and stupid is on a different server.]
One Liner:
Hate every mothafucker that gets in your way, play with power
[I wouldn't swear to it, but I'd bet this was from a song.]
[One more time.]
Email : Fuckme@xtra.hard
UserID : fuckme
[You've got to make me a better offer.]
Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i killed my family last night...i burnt my house down...they were taking up to much space....my house was covered in blood....
[Thought you burned it down.]
u think im gonna live in a house covered in blood?....my famillys in heaven now....as far away from me as possible...cos im going to hell..thats where i belong
[Until then, there is a padded cell with your name all over it.]
One Liner:
Hate every mothafucker that gets in your way, play with power
[Yawn.]
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