Latest: May 12, 2002

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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren


For the Weeks of May 28th thru June 12th, 2000



Email : shane-fan@dementedfan.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i love john someguy up your fucking ass you bastard

[As if I would deny your right to "love" John What'sHisFace. Perhaps next time you will come out of your love-induced stupor to tell us why YOU think you're a Heartless Bitch.]

One Liner:
its not the time of the month thats pissing me off its you

[Don't talk to John that way.]



Email : stoopid@e-mailanywhere.com

UserID : suck

[Prophetic.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because...I spit on homeless people when they try to get money from me...and that is nice compared to the treatment men get!

[So, how do you treat homeless men? Gotta be worse than anything.]

If I tell them a rooster can pull a frieght train, they damn well better hook it up!

[Come again?]

Crowds part in my path, because I a stoopid bitch!

One Liner:
I'm jaded toward the rest of the world, thus making me a bitch

[No. You a stoopid bitch.]

[And Take Two]

UserID : scum

[This will make a difference.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i spit on homeless people who beg me for money...but thats nice to the way i treat my men...if i tell them a rooster can pull a freight train they damn well better go tie it up.

[Didn't make more sense the second time around.]

One Liner:
i hate men and wish they would fall off the face of the earth for all eternity!!!!

[Then who will tie your rooster to the freight train?]



Email : toomuchbud@cs.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Men are fine,once you train them. God gave us "the gold" so guys should be kissing our golden butts. Then they might get sprinkled with a little gold dust.

[So you're saying you have a dusty ass?]

One Liner:
My way or No way!

[Which is her way of saying "Don't fuck up the rotation".]



Email : 4everabitch@whatever.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Isn't it a little bit obvious...

[Not even the slightest.]

when someone pisses me off i put them in their place... and if someone interupts on of my bitching sessions they are guaranteed a set of broken balls. tho, i may be a bitch i'm the pick of the litter!!!

One Liner:
"I may be a bitch but i'm the pick of the litter "

[In what galaxy is this even remotely clever?]

" This bitch was put on earth to simply make your life more miserable!"

[Call back when you're living for yourself.]



Email : wet@dynamite.com

UserID : jason

[Let's hear it for the boy.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

One Liner:
i am a bitch so i dont have a saying

[There are a lot of things you don't have.]



Email : merde@AOL.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Look I'm e mailing you because I did try your little thing to become a heartless bitch,

[I love these sour grape confessions.]

but have now decided, why the Hell am I bothering, why should I feel as if I need someones else to confurm that I am a heartless bitch!!!

[You can fondle shit and call it gold, but that doesn't make it so.]

I don't need to feel as if I need your approval,

[So why are you writing back in a snit?]

for all I know, and it's probably the truth, who ever set up this site are SAD bitches and not heartless ones, you probably just havent been excepted in to the "in-croud"

[We ARE the in-crowd.]

or are maybe classified as geeks, saddos,

[Saddo? Do you mean Sappho? Some of us are.]

or loners in your school and have decided to rebel against those who have put you in this position.

[No, that would make us as pitiful as you. This isn't rebellion, and no one can put us in any position. Choose your fate, don't let it choose you.]

All you can do now is bitch those who didn't except you and be sour about what you couldn't achive !!!!

[Now I am sure that rejecting you in the first place was a good call.]

All I have to say is that I'm not going to stoop to such levels, and you should really stop beeing so touchy and sour about misshaps!!

[In some sick way, this is a startling confession, missy.]

I don't need your approval or any one to tell me if I am or if I am not a heartless bitch !!

[Sure you don't. This is one big testimony to how much you DON'T need approval.]

I'm just pulling out

[Pulling out implies that you were IN. You're simply leaving, and not gracefully.]

and having nothing to do with such an awful and waste of space web site !!!!

[Like this was a choice YOU could make.]

Sorry if the truth hurts !!!!!

[Likewise. How's those grapes? Sour enough for you?]

One Liner:
Grow up, move on and try and find a life !!! Oh and thats not my one liner thats for YOU the site constructers !!!

[If you had a job, you'd be a disgruntled employee.]



Email : insipid@newsources.net

UserID : dabitch

[And how.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am trying to see things from your point of veiw,but I cant get my head that far up my ass!!

[You're doing a fine job of it so far.]

One Liner:
I like a man who does three things:Sit down,Shut up and look pretty. If

[Don't leave me hanging. If WHAT?]



Email : cocopunany@youmustbekidding.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:


[Truly, this application is horrific.]

I feel I belong in this club and can help the club in some form or fashion

[Fashion? Pah! You have no sense of the word.]

because Iam a True Heartless Bitch and that's the way I live my life to the fullest



And if you feel your club is too good for me


[What the hell were you thinking? Flaming Punany? Voodoo Punany? You even had the nerve to animate this shit.]

One Liner:
If you see me as a bitch don't hate me just back the hell up whimp!!

[Make way for her gigantic gifs.]



Email : bitch?@oneword.no

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I know all my friends e-mail passwords, and I read their e-mail daily.

[Aw. Does no one write you mail?]

One Liner:
If you have a problem with me reading your e-mail, then find a better password, you idiot!

[You are blissfully unaware of how stupid this sounds. "If you have a problem being robbed, then don't have money." I've got one for you. If you have a problem with being publicly scorned, then don't submit stupid shit.]



Email : ironic@technodyke.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't do well with html...

[So the techno in technodyke is strictly musical?]

Bitch
B is mee bombarded with hate
I is the I in my name there is an I in Idiot
T is the T in TOO MUCH which is what i tend to scream on restless thursdays when the world must die
[Why not on Tuesday?]

C is the C in Caring which is what i spraypaint on my ex's front door
[That's a putdown, alright. I hate to be called caring. How cruel of you. Next time stencil "pretty nice", "nifty" or "alright" as well. Go for the jugular.]

H is hell which is where this world is going and I'm leading the way
I'm not a bitch I'm The BITHC

[This is like falling down the stairs as you walk to meet your date.]

One Liner: This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper. (I stole this from T. S. Eliot)

[Which is why THIS part of the application doesn't suck.]



Email : lispia@talk21.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I like wuth as much balls as I've got.

[This is the text version of talking with your mouth full.]

One Liner:
A gentleman's whore is still a whore.

[But she's paid twice as much.]



Email : rufusxaviersarsaparilla@xtra.co.nz

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am so fuckin sick of people telling me to change my attitude...just because i say what i think......someone fucks me off..i tell them....i like to have power...control...and i do have it....so fuck....

[A shining example of automatic typing.]

One Liner:
Play with power, hate every fucker thats gets in your way

[Nah. Too busy.]



Email : cryptic-mary@oceanfree.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
went i think a guy can't shift i tell him to his face straight away and i shout out my opinion regardless of what everyone thinks!

[...regardless of the intelligibility level of said comment.]

One Liner:
DON'T piss me off, cause i'm running out of places to bury the bodies!

[Now THAT'S a real deterrent. Don't piss her off because, silly her, she can't dispose of the evidence.]



Email : xynthia@cre8tiv.yuk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because i h8 shitty thick people-and i love letting them know this!!

[Probably lets them know through creative use of bumperstickers and other party slogans.]

One Liner:
thick people are like peeing male dogs(why do they cock theyre leg??)

[They'd pee on their noses if they didn't.]



Email : lovethedomain@insurquote.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
If a guy, even if he's in a nice car, picks up on me, the first reaction is "the bird"

[Your first reaction is to check the car.]

because they make me so god damn sick that I want to puke!

[Especially if they are in a junker.]

One Liner:
I love to call cocky guys cunts because of the acronym. Cause U aiNt a Thang!

[That would be Cyaat. This isn't even funny.]



Email : bigfaker@carolina.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I want to stop those heartless son of a bitches called men!

[That's all I needed to hear, Wonder-girl. Go round up a man-stopping Super Posse and get back to me.]

One Liner:
Im a high rideing bitch beacuse its a cruel world.

[That's next on your crusade.

1)Stop men.
2)Un-cruel the world.]




Email : sackgrabber@wworx.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I believe the best place for a man is kneeling at My feet, worshiping the very ground I walk on, groveling and begging for My attentions, offering himself for My pleasure ONLY not his.

[Imagine this application centered, red and in italics.]

The weak helpless little victim girls, get to Me,

[Moses, it is I, your Father. Hark unto Me.]

it's like stand up and fight for yourself don't EVER let a man dictate to you.

[It's more like, proofread your work, and like, if you, you know, see any superfluous likes that aren't, like, used to show a common identity, you should, you know - DELETE them, and stuff.]

I am noted amoung My friends for My bitchslap (which goes to anyone who does something stupid, infantile or just plain rude,,,,usually men)

[I'd reserve that for someone that uses four commas in place of a singular.]

and the bitch ball grab (again usually for a man.....

[What other gender sports balls? It's safe to say that IF you should happen to grab a nutsack, it would be on a male]

for those who for example you ask, what would you like and they answer, "i don't care" or "whatever, that is when I grab ahold of their balls and trust Me they make a decision REAL quick)

[Quite by coincidence, the most common decision would be for you to unclench their balls.]

also known amoung certain circles as "The Cast Iron Bitch"

[Circles of one? Ridiculous, one can't be a circle.]

One Liner: If ignorance is bliss,...then you must be orgasmic.

[Yeah, and if stupidity were bricks, then you'd be a housing project.]



Email : satan'sstupidhelper@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a fucking bitch, i get what i want im always right and i can have anyone i want. period. i will be acceptedin this club.

[Looks like you sold your soul in vain.]

One Liner:
"I've come to cut cupid's heart out."

[You'd do better to borrow Scarecrow's brain.]



Email : confused@webtv.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because mens are heartless and cruel and they treat women like dirt.

[Mens can be like that sometimes.]

One Liner:
my lesbian lover

[What about her? Did those mens treat her like dirt too?]



Email : fuckyou@asshole.co.

[I'm guessing that this ISN'T her real e-mail]

URL : What do YOU think?

[I'm not the psychic hotline. I'm not here to guess about your URL.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I am heartless (one who has no feelings or compassion) I have an opinion, and even when it's not wanted, and the situation arises, I give it.

[Okay, so what is it?]

I am totally in control of my life, and even some of my 'friends'.

[A important step toward recovery is acknowledging that your friends are of the imaginary variety.]

They secretly want to be me, this i know. Men will never mess me around, i just mess them around - I'll mess you lot around too if you want!

[I think I'm plenty "messed around" just trying to wade through this application.]

You should bow down to me, I am the ultimate Queen Bee Bitch. Be afraid fucking loser-ass-dickheads

[Amazing, you can actually SEE her medication wearing off.]

One Liner:
right, it goes like this, right, this girl goes into HBI HQ,

[Right. Now how would "this girl" ever FIND HBI HQ? You couldn't find a prick in a pin factory.]

pulls out a gun, and says, 'make me a member, or I kill YOU ALL'. All the so-called 'Heartless Bitches' shit their pants, and, forever to be humiliated wherever they go, they all set up home in a disused bomb shelter deep underground, with the rats, where they all belong.

[Deep down, she knows she'd never be accepted.]



Email : glaundy@ostrich.net.au

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't know and nor do I care, and even if I did, it's none of your business anyway

One Liner:
because I don't know, I don't wanna know and I don't care either

[See no evil, hear no evil.]



Email : ironyabounds@gurlmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless Bitch because I absoulutly hate Stupid people I think we should put them all on a rocket and send them to the moon then maybe the inteligent people like me can get on with thier lives.

[Yep, if'n we'd get them thar absoulutly stupid people on the moon, both thier lives and ours would be better, cuz we are inteligent. And we spell good!]

One Liner:
I suck them in chew them up into pulp then spit them out without mercy.

[She's talking about dictionaries and vocabulary words.]



Email : bubba'swoman@TrickStyle.com

URL : Why do you want to be attached to a urinal?

[I dunno. Is this your URL or a rhetorical question?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm spending my time on this trivia when I should be in the kitchen cooking dinner for Bubba and the kids.

[Well, hop to it, woman. Don't let your own life impede you in the things you want to do.]

One Liner:
I just hope it's not twins again.

[Yeah, one Bubba is enough.]



Email : egotrip@bolt.com

UserID : SuperBitch

[Aren't they all?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I just am, and I contro every mani meet they bow down to me like my bitch

One Liner:
I am not a bitch I am the bitch

[Um. Yeah. I'm boggling under your stupendous powers myself.]



Email : anothermommybrain@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Although I'm only one year old, if someone tries to do that babyshit kitchy-koo stuff, I give them a truly fine fuck you stare.

[Well, I'm sure that's all in Mommy's imagination.]

People get nervous around a baby who won't play cutesy on command.

[People that make their infants "talk" make me more nervous. Also people that expect me to be nice to their offspring.]

I also like to laugh at little boys who act up to get my attention and then fall flat on their faces.

[Now, now. You fell flat on your face when you learned to walk. If you have already learned to walk.]

Mom is certified bitch # 00076, so I've got bitchiness in my genes.

[Ah, that explains it. Run, run little one, as if your very life depended on it.]

One Liner:
Play my game or fuck off...you're free to choose.

[I'll bet you took the ball and went home when things didn't go your way on the playground too.]



Email : anotherpoet@worldnet.att.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm A heartless bitch because i dont take from men, women anyone!

[You're not supposed to, so you're not getting any credit for that.]

I grew up taking karate, now i am at the top of my class, for my age. I can beat anyone, and sommethimes i dont have to lift a finger. My mouth says it all.

[Thought of visiting a dentist about that?]

But i only back talk if i have to. I have a not so bad reputation of bein a girl who in charge, and not afraid to stand up for what is right. Yea ive been called a bitch before, but i take that as a compliment, because i know i have rubbed of a little of me on the world.

[This part wasn't so bad. Hmm. Maybe I'm too hasty?]

One Liner:
I'm a bitch, I have class, mess with me i kick your ass, for all those hoe's that think they cool, remember this, BITCHS RULE!

[Nah.]


Email : justdon'tcallherfat@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my webpage gets about 50 hits a day, on average (its currently undergoing recontruction due to some asshole tricking my host into giving them my password, then taking it down), and my guestbook gets bombarded with postings "god you are bitch, you are concieted, you are full of yourself, you are CRUEL and heartless and insensitive".

[Oh no, Sisterella. You're simply convinced that it IS all about you. Your webpage is unadulterated fluff. Things she CAN stand: Brand A cosmetics. Things she CAN'T stand: Brand B cosmetics. And fat.]

why? because im honest?

[It's not honesty, it's shallowness, and you're wading in it because you're not deep enough to drown.]

because when girls sit around and whine about how fat they are, how ugly they are, how "fugly" they are (even better), I dont reassure them they arent? Because I dont say "of course you arent fat!

[But you're anorexia personified, aren't ya?]

you are a sexy, bish I'd do you!" if a bitch sits around and cries because shes 250 lbs and looks like a man, I'm not about to tell them otherwise.

[Because that would take the conversation away from you, you, you. Ever think that people that say you're conceited may NOT be clueless? There's not much to you. Once you've scratched the surface, that's all you've got.]

People who try to elicit sympathy and fish for compliments get nothing but the honest-to-god Truth from me, and for that, i get labeled a bitch.

[Not here you won't. You're just another average, ordinary teen.]

One Liner:
"i'm a bitch? switch bitch with brutally honest and you've got it right"

[If you don't want to identify with bitch, why are you here?]


Email : bubblehead@kih.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I married a heartless redneck drunken bastard who hates women and wouldnt tell the truth if his ass was on fire.. "Your average Joe"..

[You can't attain Bitchdom by marriage. Sorry.]

One Liner:
Men are like a Bottle of Beer... Empty from the neck up!!

[And it sounds like he needs another. Go get it for him.]



Email : sillyBRAT@AOL.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I can't deal with stupid people.

One Liner:
Just leave me the fuck alone.I don't want it or need it.

[Let's hear it for the apathetic approach.]



Name: mad son of a bitch

Email : jerk@gibbs-build.freeserve.com

UserID : die

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
C U NextTuesday is the intelliagent way of calling him CUNT

One Liner:
C U Next Tuesday is the intelliagent way of calling him a CUNT

[Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, brings a smile to my face quicker than someone misspelling "intelligent".]



Email : princessk8tbug@aol.com

UserID : Princess

[Of course.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am not a heatless bitch. I am writing to tell you that this is totally repulsive.

[Being a heatless bitch IS totally repulsive.]

We are women who have the ability to use are charm and beauty to get what we want,

[Who is "we". Stop falsifying numbers to give your position more value. It doesn't work anyway. Surely with YOUR brainpower, you'd know that.]

in addition to using our brains. I had a 4.0 all through high school

[Well, consider me put in MY place. High School, imagine that. I'm not even going to dust off my "more than one way to get an 'A'" for that one.]

and I know how to use my brain.

[But what do you use it for? Surely you didn't waste it on college.]

But, for your information, but when it comes to getting out of a speeding ticket, the police officer does not care if I know how to calculate the rate of a chemical reaction,

[Sweetie, sexual attraction is nothing if NOT a chemical reaction. You might need to know this in your attempts to manipulate men.]

but calling him a sweetheart in my charming southern drawl just might catch his attention.

[That will work until you're about 35, then your life is all downhill, cutie-pie. Thanks for playing.]

I feel as though this website is an excuse for ugly women to put dowm the beautiful ones.

[(Obviously her comprehension skills are indicative of her extensive education.) We simply mock the stupid and since we are HEARTLESS, we don't give a fuck about what you "feel", cupcake.]

Face it girls, we must rule the world with our brains, muscles, AND our beauty and charms -- all of those, not just some of them!

[You'll never rule the world, you'll just skate along the edges until the wrinkles hit, then WHAMMO! Off to therapy, you'll go.]

One Liner:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Not to mention the manipulated.]



Email : sisterinatrance@hushmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
One Liner:
lick me or lose me

[We lost her.]

[Wait, here she is again.]

Email : sisterinatrance@hushmail.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I begged to be my best friend's bridesmaid

[This was a better addition?]

One Liner:
lick me or lose me

[Oh, get lost already.]



Email : rube@excite.com

URL : www.lesbian.com,www.sex.com

[You see what HE'S into.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Hello right now in search of sites i came to now,i am really happy and i like to be one of u r member so please make me as u r memember

[You don't really want to be a member here, Rube. We don't have naked pictures.]

One Liner:
yahoo.messanger

[Now I'm really confused. Rube, you have to type in Yahoo's url, then SEARCH for a Massager. You can't just stick it in your one liner.]



Email : sexybutt@ohgoodgrief.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have to put up with a bunch of fucking drunk assholes for eight hours a night.

[You're either a bartender or a sex-worker. In either case, quit your job.]

One Liner:
Lick me

[That's what got you into that crummy job in the first place.]



Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2000, All Rights Reserved

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