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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren


For the Week of May 22nd, 2000



Email : Lame@hondo.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Bitch is a female dog, I'm no dog!!

[Do you have any idea of why you're here and applying today?]

One Liner:
What part of "no" don't you understand!

[The part where you applied here anyway.]



Email : lilpupj@numbnoggin.net

UserID : busty

[I see.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[ECHO...Echo...echo.]

One Liner:
DON'T GO THERE

[A demonstration of why you need to LISTEN to that nagging little voice in the back of your mind.]



Email : Lil_Pink_Gurl@revolting.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks i'm self centered,and lead guys on then tell em to fuck off!

[It's lil Pink Gurl's world, and it's all about her.]

One Liner:
Grow your own dope plant a man

[Tips from the expert on dope.]



Email : crazy4c4@aol.com

URL : my page isn't done yet...so bite me

[You could have just left the response blank, but since you didn't, I'll just point out that AOL supplies everything one needs to make a webpage except the content. I am not surprised that you lack content.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heatless Bitch **HAPPY? i fucking spelled it out**

[Let me spell it out for you. N-O, you're not accepted, and no, we're not HEATless bitches. Spelled it out, indeed.]

because I have no problem telling Britney Spears loving, or gothic wanna be freaks that they piss me off.

[I'm sure the indifference is deafening.]

Ask my opinion, you'll get it back ten times fold and you'll regret you asked for it baby.

[I'm simply WAITING for your opinion, and I'm regretting it already.]

I once was told a quote by someone who was trying to impress me by her male-drawing skills, "Man is King, King is ruler, ruler is 12 inches, think you're a man?" My response to this was as follows, you're a fucking cunt.

[Way to tell HER off. Man, I wish I was that witty.]

When the hell will girls realize that by getting a male you do NOT need to act like a prostitute?

[When will you learn that to get into HBI, you don't have to act like an pampered, self-centered moron?]

Ah yes...another thing that just floats my freaking boat, people that do not get a clue that I dislike them, or refuse to get out of my space.

[Because the world simply doesn't revolve around you. Try moving away from them in the future.]

I mean HELLO! It does not take a complete retard to realize after 10 minutes of me making fun of you and telling you to get the hell away form me that I dont like you, does it?

[If this is an example of your sparkling personality, I don't see where this is a problem for you.]

In conclusion *I don't know how the hell to end this?*

[I don't know how the hell you started it. Next time THINK about this application before you submit it.]

I would just be fucking tickled pink if you took time out of your oh so busy schedule to read this and try to figure out how bitch you think I am.

[Figuring how bitch you are is a no-brainer.]

One Liner:
"Is that the best you can do? I didn't think you were a complete retard" "I'm the best! At what? looking like a total retard?"

[At settin' 'em up and knockin' 'em down. Anyone can look good under those circumstances.]



Email : Rinoa_Heartilly@Iplayvideogames.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Why are you lot so down on everyone?

[Said by someone who is down on us.]

Yeah, I can be a bitch when it's called for, but it's no fun going around all the time being a bitch,

[I suppose it's MORE fun to criticize without having all the facts? Or maybe missing the point is more to your liking.]

and losing your friends because of it.

[It's more of a litmus test. If you can't figure it out, you're just too dumb to bother with in the first place. Saves a lot of time.]

It's not clever. I don't care how 'un-bitchy' this may seem,

[It's not that it's 'un-bitchy', it's merely uninformed.]

but friends are very important, so get a goddamn life, and stop critising people who are friendly and nice to know.

[So I insulted one of your friends, and you're here to defend all the weak and downtrodden. This would have meant more if you felt this way BEFORE it personally involved you.]

I'll be back to confirm my suspicions that this entry is in the weak of the week.

[Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.]

One Liner:
fuck off

[Originality abounds. Tell Squall I said Hi.]


Email : easyanswers@fsnet.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I answered yes to all the HBI questions and i have no sympathy (or patience) with any ov my whiny friends!

[Allow me to hurry up and fetch your acceptance award.]

One Liner:
Why don't u go and apply a bit more slap to both ur faces cause i can see a bit of ur skin!

[This is a case of not knowing when to stop. Typical novice error.]

[And again.]

Email : easyanswers@screweduphere-mailaddy.fsnet.co.uk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have no paitience for any one with less than 5 brain cells (AKA men)

[AKA people that can't remember their e-mail address.]

One Liner:
Hey tart why don't go and apply a bit more of the polyfiller that u use as make-up to both ur faces cause i can start to see a family resembelance between u and the gum on my shoe!

[You're in junior high, aren't you?]



Email : hhx990508@stinksinanylanguage.dk

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I really do not love any man, not even my father or boyfriend.

[This verges on the psychopathic.]

Men think I am too perfect, too clever and too...

[Much? Cryptic? Too likely not to finish a sentence?]

Then they get mad at me because they do not have control over their own life! That pisses me of!!

[What do you do, Danger-girl?]

One Liner:
I love to act like I am a princess to get what I want...But...I am macho inside and when my boyfriend look the other way

[Why not in front of his face?]


Email : sillytwit@intecnet.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
if people hurt me or the ones I love, they're ultimately sorry.

[They are probably sorry after meeting you.]

Case in point: a male friend of mine finally decides to grant his wife's wish for a divorce. Said wife says "Oh, I was only using that as a threat to get you to change. You can't divorce me. I'll kill myself." Keeps repeating suicide threat. I call 911

[Because you're fucking that male friend.]

and report a person threatening to harm herself, and she is picked up by police and committed. If she was serious, a mental ward is where she belonged - she needed help. However, since she wasn't, it was a great lesson in the consequences of empty threats.

[There's a lesson or two for you to learn here as well. Anyone can pick up a phone, so don't be surprised when you find yourself at a mental ward, explaining why you don't belong there. The other lesson is not to get involved with married men.]

The fact that I took such pleasure in it is because in cases like this, I truly am a Heartless Bitch.

[You took pleasure in it because you had three days to have sex without sneaking.]

One Liner:
Bite my fat, white, jiggling ass and like it.

[That would be a lot easier to swallow than your logic.]



Email : moron@nonum.freeserve.co.uk

UserID : biteme

[How will she remember that?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i dont have a heart ( duh).. come on it just HAS to be the bestest reason !

[It's the bestest reason I've seen.]

youll love it! (this is true) i once got thrown out of a bar for tellin the bar tender to 'tender your OWN bar big head!'

["Big head", man, how do you come UP with this? You must write your own material.]

when he asked me how many strokes i thought the drink was worth ... i mean come on! wht do we get subjected to this! and why is it tthat the woman gets thrown out? maybe this membership will give me a clue, who knows?

[I do. No, you will not get the clue you need from membership. Don't worry, you can always fall back on your 'comedic' talent.]

One Liner:
''sweet? SWEET! i HATE the word!!!!!!!!!!''

[Be honest. You just hate words.]



Email : allaboutme@worldnet.att.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a bitch...but not a man hater or a woman hater. I guess I just hate stupidity. Stupid people make me crazy. I know very smart men and women, and have a lot of respect for them. Not all of them have college degrees or high paying jobs. Some of them are unemployed, but that does not make them stupid.

[So far, so good.]

When I come across stupid people I get bitchy. Whether it's at work, on the phone or in my car. Stupid people make me scream! My job is computer support. I do much of this over the phone. When I get someone on the phone that is computer illiterate I try very hard to take my time, talk slowly and breath. If that person is intelligent enough to listen to directions then things go well, BUT if that person will not listen to me, talks over my words or, worse of all, goes a head of me I just want to scream "WHAT ARE YOU? STUPID???"

[If you don't like the job, change professions. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. You'd have a hell of a time trying to make your rent without those stupid people.]

Here are some observations of stupid people behavior that bring out the bitch in me:

[IE: Get in HER personal way. Can't these morons see just how important SHE is?]

Tailgating

[So do the speed limit already.]

Not paying attention (especially while driving)

[Yes, pay attention to the flow of traffic so people can get where they are going today.]

Having $200 worth of groceries sitting on a belt with no check written and not even starting to bag them...

[See what it's like to be behind the slowpoke?]

Taking up whole aisles in grocery stores or department stores to gossip

[Grr! They are supposed to move when they see Your Eminence coming.]

Call waiting (I just hang up when that starts up)

[How DARE someone interrupt your phone call to get another.]

Men insulting me when I take my car/VCR/TV/etc to get fixed. I know more then they think I do.

[Try knowing the terminology when describing the problem. Saying 'thingy' just doesn't project the competence you desire.]

Assume (ass)u(me). Never ever assume anything!!

[Like the world doesn't revolve around you?]

And a plethora of so many things that I can't even remember, plus I'm getting bitchy just thinking about it.

[You know that plethora is just another way of saying "so many things", right?]

One Liner:
The natives are revolting. And you ain't so hot y'self

[Neither are these sentiments.]



Email : assfingers@worldspy.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a Bitch in every sense of the word. You know why?

[You're going to tell me anyway.]

Because of the stupid-ass people that live in the USA. People drive like they have their finger up their ass! So if you have heard of the saying "Horn Broken, Watch for Finger" here is my version of it, "Whether my horn is broken or not I don't give a shit still watch for my god damn finger and no you may not shove it up your ass along with your finger."

[People would rear-end you while trying to read your bumpersticker.]

People act like they got their finger up their ass! What is up with that? I thaught God was smarter then that.

[Free will.]

Why do people call me a slut just cause I've got big boobs?

[I'm sure that's not the reason.]

Do they realize all the consequences of having big boobs?

[Women that seldom choose the proper bra size and watching them rest those puppies on the dinner table.]

There are always people whispering shit behind my back,

[That's everywhere. I prefer to pay them no mind.]

I will always have trashy boob loving ugly ass guys that have no respect for women,

[I'd throw those fish back.]

and I will have to pay more for my bras because they are bigger!

[Wah!]

Now wanna call me a slut?

[How does this matter, and how have you refuted the statement?]

I'm tired of those women who let guys take advantage of them.

[I'm tired of those women that care what "THEY" say.]

We fought for our rights for a reason, not just for our health!

[Yeah, but when YOU say you fought for our rights, you just mean that you showed up for work.]

HELLO! Stand Up For Yourself!!!

[We can't. Our large breasts keep toppling us over.]

Rules are meant to be broken.

[So why should anyone obey yours?]

Don't pass up on life just because you want to follow all the gay ass rules this world has!

[Like having to pay for your bra?]

Have Fun and care only about yourself! No One Else!

[Exception: When the office ninnies make fun of your behavior. Then you should care what they say.]

One Liner:
If you abuse me mentally, your out the door. If you abuse me physically, your on the floor!

[I love it when they rhyme. At least this isn't return of the "I'm a bitch but I have class..." one liner.]



Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2000, All Rights Reserved

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