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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the week of July 27, 2009

tag-team edited by and Natalie

Name: Shannon

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I didn't blink when asking to use my husbands credit card to send my girlfriend flowers in the hospital.

[Um...don't you have your OWN credit cards? No. You just have your own husband. And I'm getting the idea you might be just a LITTLE bit conflicted about him.]

I will talk to her on the phone, day and night, with him right here. I've taken her to bed with me, whispering in the phone, while he sleeps beside me.

[Just like schoolgirls.]

I have even gotten off with her on the phone, locking him out of the room.

[Are you consciously trying to live out a "Friends" episode? It's a wonder he was still there when you unlocked the door.]

I have slept night after night on the couch, with my dogs, leaving my hubby in the bedroom.

[You being such a prize and all, I'm sure that's a terrible hardship on him.]

I purposly avoid the phone when my mother may be calling, citing a headache, or not feeling good to avoid listening to her whine, or have her ask for help.

[I suspect whatever's wrong with you may be genetic.]

One Liner:
I am a bitch with a capitol B,

[Living in the capitol of the State of Immaturity.]

and nothing you say can make me feel one iota of guilt for this.

[Why don't you put us out of your misery? Were you taken hostage in a church? I take it you entered the marriage of your own free will. There is no need to behave like a rebellious captive. Or, um, a sociopath/user.

Get the hell out, grow the hell up. I wonder if your girlfriend will still be enraptured without all the drama.]

Country: United States

Age: 35-45

Gender: female

Name: Martin

pwd : hemale

[God. You just KNOW it's all down hill from here.]

URL :

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i hate beautiful women who judge me because im not as dominating than the bloke standing next me.

[Hating any kind of women gets you off to a good start.]

Are you really worthit how can you just stare at me and wait till im relaxed TO GO FOR THE KILL.

[Now you are starting to lose coherence...]

Im still a smart guy your loss

[Yeah, brilliant.]

when you mature you might realise what a joke you really are i wont be there for you now.

[Just a tad angry and bitter, are we? She's probably breathing a sigh of relief at her narrow escape.]

One Liner:
im not vein but i have mean ways

[*audible exhale*, but you might be VAIN, and in that vein...]

to make you see the low life image you really live in your pathetic little world.

[You tell her, tiger.]

Country: United Kingdom

Age: 26-34

Gender: male

Name: jane

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I LOVE when a man gives me his number and I don't call.

[I'm all for enjoying the fruits of one's own accomplishments, but this bar is pretty low, don't you think?]

I LOVE to say NO when a man asks me for personal information.

[Wow, you really know how to have fun.]

I LOVE to pretend to be kind and understanding but really, I enjoy watching men squirm.

[Well, get ready to join our butterfly collection.]

I get the most supreme satisfaction knowing I'm so much more intelligent than he is and although I don't rub his face in it, he KNOWS it.

[If narcissism were cold cream, you really COULD rub his face in it.]

And the feeling of contempt I get when a man thinks for one minute he can possibly have a personal relationship with me...

[The nerve, to be attracted--to you! What was he thinking?!]

it's like a drug. I get high just knowing that I will never let him into my life. I CRAVE the experience of pulling him in and then when I've got him, I drop him just...like...that!

[Ahh the Manipulation High. As much fun as Crystal Meth, but your teeth stay shiny white.]

Not all men qualify for my heartless bitchiness;

[Sure, we understand; you do use some of them for breeding.]

just those men who think I'm stupid, gullible, needy,

[Gosh. Not doing too good a job projecting that superior intelligence then, are we?]

or too blind to see they just want someone to control.

[THEY want someone to control!? You slay me.]

My dark side is the AVENGER for all good women who have been taken advantage of by unscrupulous, wormy, lazy, selfish men.

[That's the height of narcissism, to think that other women need you to be their avenger.]

I love the payback...more than I should! Messed up? Maybe just a little,

[Maybe? DEFINITELY.]

but I love my messed up side just as much as my got-it-together side.

[Oh, man! And I love that sentence! I wonder what your "got-it-together side" looks like... (What does she think she is? Duct Tape(tm)? A dark side a light side, and she holds the universe together?) Ah well, the important thing is, you love ALL of your personalities.]

EVERY woman DESERVES to bring out the Heartless Bitch in themselves.

[Gosh, with a pitch like that, you'll be selling us bath beads and hair color in a minute, becasue, you know, we're WORTH it.]

One Liner:

I control my own life and it's too good to let you mess it up

[Because you've got THAT job under control.]

Country: United States

Age: 45-55

Name: Shakeria

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I don't give a damn about anyone else's feelings or opinions!

[Sign me up! Something tells me you are about to jump to the top of my "things I don't give a damn about" list.]

I put me first and if that means stepping on somebody's else's toes or hurting their feelings in the process than too bad..

[I hope you're wearing shoes.]

I will get offended if you call me a bitch because I'm not a bitch, I'm THAT BITCH!!!!

[All that springs to my mind is "That Psycho" and "That Garbage Bin"... ]

Don't have many friends

[Oddly, I don't find this surprising]

because I have offended them all because of my straight forwardness..

[That's your interpretation. Of course, it couldn't possibly be because you are a self-absorbed ass...]

I don't spare anyone's feelings because the truth always hurts and I tell it how I see it!!

[Then you won't mind us returning the favor.]

One Liner:
To sum it all up, it doesn't matter if I'm on my period or not, I'm a bitch all year long!!! THAT BITCH to be exact!!

[But why? Why, why, why, why? You really haven't provided any substance about yourself. Talent for alienating people aside.]

Country: United States

Age: 20-25

Name: Tina

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im pretty sure I have turned into a heartless bitch. After 6 marriages, raising 2 kids and trudging through a few jobs that just sucked, i have figured out that i am pretty fed up with people in general.

[It took you THAT long? Apparently learning from your past mistakes isn't one of your strong suits.]

I can be nice when it suits me, but in general, i just distrust people, am through with men, and have a short fuse that will allow me to light your ass up when you least expect it.

[I'm developing sympathy for your SIX ex-hubbies.]

I have been harassed on the internet by an ex wife of an ex lover that fine tuned my heartless bitch skills. It has been 2 pure years of straight up hell.

[??? Doesn't sound like you were "dealing" with it very effectively.]

Needless to say making her life a living Hell has been a pure pleasure.

[And just fueling the fire. Proves my point. Engaging in a sick game of nya, nya, nya-nya, nya, is not the move of a Heartless Bitch (TM).]

Im sure if i was driving down the road and saw her on fire-i wouldnt stop to piss on her.

[And that's not a trite expression at all.]

id probably, no im sure id go fill up a gas can and pour some on.

[Sure. Who's the crazy one again?]

One Liner: If you dont want my fucking opinion, dont ask for it because you will damn sure get a straight answer out of me...and dont whine when you get it.

[Hold that thought.]

Country: United States

Age: 35-45

[... and old enough to know better. My GOD, 6 marriages by your 40s?! You have exceeded Zsa Zsa levels. She didn't get to her 6th husband until she was 58.]

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