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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 23, 2004
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have no sympathy for fat people.

[Huzzah. Who asked you to have any?]

I want to slap the hell out of all the fat bitches that hate me because I am thin.

[All your fat went straight to your head.]

This goes for men also. I don't believe in the "fat gene" nor do I believe that "It's just so hard to take off" syndrome.

[I suspect gross stupidity skips a generation. God, aren't you fuckers TIRED of talking about weight? That's not what is meant by "weightier matters."]

These are all just excuses for them to continue to eat like fucking elephants and accuse us thin people of taking diet pills or !God forbid! working off our fat. I just wanna say to all you fat out of shape disgusting pigs out there that hate us skinny people because we eat right, exercise, and insist on getting off our lazy asses to take care of ourselves in order to live longer healthier lives then just shut the hell up and be fat or get off your fat lazy ass and take care of yourself. You owe it to yourself and your family. So what if you were born fat and are fat to this day I have personally known people that have lost over 1oo and sometimes 150 pounds because they wanted to. Now they are living healthier lives and don't sound like a friggin cow in heat when they walk up the dang stairs.

[Stairs? You saw a fat person on the stairs, opting to WALK instead of RIDE, and you're bitching about it?]

It disgust me to no end to see how fat our nation has become. People get off your fat asses and get to work! Skinny people get off your skinny asses and tell these fat frigging cows to get off their fat lazy asses and lose some weight.

[Thank you for the kinder, gentler public service announcement. One day a fat person, sounding like a cow in heat, is going to push your bony ass down those steps. You know, Jim Fixx died jogging. That's all I'm saying. That Atkins dude broke his weak ass skull on the pavement. Was he jogging, too? Who knows? Who cares? Don't get me started on the Low-Carb craze. That's beside the point. Fat people don't hate skinny people for being thin. No. You're hated because you're obnoxious, and you take up WAAAY more space. Who's the thoughtless bitch who doesn't push her chair in? Who stomps on your feet getting to her seat at the theater? Who spreads her shit all over the gym benches? Who talks incessantly about food, revealing that she's angry because she's starving? Wenches who are obsessed with weight--theirs, mine and everybody's, that's who.]

One Liner:
You might laugh because I'm different, but I laugh because you are fat and UGLY.

[I laugh at you in general. You're not different. You're dull.]



Name: Elaine

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
because im smart enough to be one..cause i dont take no shit from stupid ass ppl that think they know every dam thing,cause i can get an attitude real dam quick ,cause im straight forward,i say what the fuck i feel to ppl.and because i can be a heartless bitch,ive plenty of experience with assholes in my life,,some men made me the way i am and alot of stupid ass bitches also,like a sister n law right now that i hate.

[It takes a lot of little things to make an application THIS bad. Lay off the text messaging.]

One Liner:
they can fly up my ass and die,i can shit em out in the morning and flush there stupid ass away and out of my life

[You can do that without the aggravation of having them in your ass in the first place.]



Name: Sudhir

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i wanna join this web coz i am mad bout a gal n she do not accept me as her bf so i tried to rape her one day so i am a heartless guy

[I see. You're not a Hearltess Guy, you're a felon. You think we'll accept you because you throw temper tantrums when you don't get your way?]

One Liner:
i am a bitch coz i love having sex with many people

[Against their will! Glad you like that because I see a lot of sex in your future with a big, hairy guy you share a cell with.]



Name: JORT

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i apiled before and yuo rejeced me ,

[Naw. Say it ain't so.]

and i got sooo mad i through a carbarator throu my widsheild!~ ad it hit ann old ladey. no thats parts not treu.

[You throwing the carburetor or you hitting the old lady?]

any way, i srtil like to ranxy triple so i tink that couts

[What the hell is ranxy?]

One Liner:
"Iam the cast of stoans! lett me bee with out te first sinn!"

[Go forth and sin no more...idiot.]



Name: Kit

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well to start I guess you could say I am the type of person that watches Maury Povich. I watch Maury simply to laugh at hoes, freaks, trailer trash, mutants, retards, dysfunction, ugliness, and to gain pleasure in others misfortune.

[Because it makes you feel good about yourself. Don't you mean Jerry Springer, though?]

I observe and enjoy dysfunction, I love seeing mutated people (good skulls). I like cracking open the ignorant brain and humoring myself on it. I love white trash. I enjoy shallow and simple perspectives. I enjoy hearing stories about people getting what they deserve. I always enjoyed a good hearty laugh at the kids riding the short bus. I wanted to volunteer at the special olympics for a deep whole hearted laugh. Instead, I watched it on public access and laughed real loud.

[While it doesn't surprise me that people often laugh at others, it usually shocks me to find the subject matter they find so amusing.]

While I am in the restroom, and someone is trying to be discreet about taking a liquid #2, I announce my disgust and suggest they get their colon checked.

[Where are they supposed to shit, jackass?]

When I was in middle school (years ago) I would comment on how someone had to be "eating candy," while on the toilet. I enjoy making people salty.

[I'm not sure that I would stick eating and flavor so close to toilets and shit.]

One Liner:
I am a sarcastic, obnoxious, and find myself sneering at rectitude and the conduct of life by moral principles.

[Someday you'll grow out of it.]



Name: Marissa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
First off, I'm also emotionally handicapped and pejorative without restraint.

[They tend to go hand in hand. Why the "also?"]

I'm not inclined to understand myself or spend much time on the whole lot, rather I'd like to shift my attentions towards others (mainly with how much smarter I am than them).

[The point is that virtually everyone is smarter than idiots such as yourself.]

As such, I don't find annotating e-mails from idiots with parantheticals to be creepy or even sad in the slightest.

[You're not as clever as you think. These are brackets, not parentheses. If you're here to criticize, BE FUCKING HONEST ABOUT IT.]

One Liner:
Oh for fuck's sake, just accept the first paragraph and be done with it.

[Fine. I accept that you're a sophomoric twit. Done.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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