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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of February 29, 2004
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Kristen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I won't vacation with my husband.

[Well, not only is that too much information, it's kinda...weird.]

I only do girls-only vacations with friends. Our only criteria are "no needy chicks".

[Tres bizarre. What are you trying to prove with this?]

My job consists of telling lawyers what they need to do and I love it.

[Inferiority complex?]

My motto at 13 was "When I want something, I go after it. Eventually it becomes mine. If it doesn't, it's because at some point I stopped wanting it."

[Circular logic...gotta love it.]

I have only one child (a son) in part because I'm afraid I'll have a girl who will want to grow up to become a princess.

[This makes about as much sense.]

Oh, and I boycott anything Disney, to the extent that my 3-year-old has no idea who any Disney character is beyond Mickey Mouse I could rant about Disney's encouragement of the princess mentality for hours.

[Thank you for not sharing, and who the hell cares about Disney?]

And don't even get me started on people who think women have sex to please the man instead of themselves.

[Why not start on the women who have sex to please others?]

One Liner:
Let's play a game ... it's called "I have a point". You go first.

[We HAVE a point. What's the problem?]



Name: Debra

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because:

[Here we go.]

1. I do not believe in the welfare system.

[Sure you do. You just had better access to people you could sponge off for a spell.]

When I was divorced 14 years ago after being a stay at home mom for 13 years, I did not go on welfare or food stamps or WIC, or Medicaide.

[Wanna cookie?]

No, what I did was go to my best friend who owned a medical transcription company and asked to be trained in that profession.

[Yes, well, everyone has the opportunity to know people who are willing to participate in a little nepotism to save their dumbass friends who don't contribute to the work force.]

The deal, I offered to work for free for the training. In two weeks because I had applied myself, I had a full-time paying job capable of supporting my son and myself. I worked eight hours a day at the office and another four hours at home at night.

[What did you live on for the two weeks that you worked for free? Alimony? Child support? What about all the women who face deadbeats who DON'T pay? Get this straight: Welfare is for the sake of the children. That's it. It shouldn't be something that you live on for the rest of your life, however.]

2. I am a heartless bitch because I am tired of the discrimination against white people.

[Oh yes, white people are really oppressed in our society.]

I am sick, puking sick of the United Negro College Fund, The Black Miss America contest, The Latino Awards, etc.

[All the while enjoying the luxury of the "Caucasian default." You probably don't have the faintest clue of what I'm talking about. When you read a news article, ever notice how the race of a white person is not included in their description? The 40-year-old male bank robber is presumed white. The other races are specified and why? There is a white presumption.]

Do not get me wrong, I am not prejudiced,

[The fact that you felt you had to tell me that you weren't lets me know that you are otherwise.]

I do not want any kind of discrimination. If we "whites" dared to have a Caucasian Awards, A White Beauty Contest, or a United Caucasian College fund, we would be branded prejudice.

[Ah, but you do already. It's just that whites break it down into countries. Who else is the St. Paddy's Day parade for? Who visits the Polka halls? I'm not sure, but I wonder what the attendance policy is like for Daughters of the Confederate or the Knights of Columbus. ]

Why is it okay to discriminate against whites or have clubs, contests, funds, and even colleges that exclude whites?

[Probably for the same reason you didn't need welfare.]

3. I am a heartless bitch because I cannot abide by sluts and whores, i.e.,

[What do you think a stay-at-home mom is? She's a prostitute with a very select clientele.]

women who use their looks and sex to get what they want. This is not coming from an ugly woman.

[Yes, I can tell.]

I have been told many times how "beautiful" I am, etc.

[Another reason why you didn't need welfare. You had guys lining up to help you.]

I do not like being told that.

[Suuure, you don't.]

The way I look at beauty is it is God given.

[Riiight, you're not just beautiful, it was PRE-ORDAINED. I smell a "God's gift" reference coming on.]

I did not do anything to be beautiful, I happened to luck out with good genes.

[Funny you'd bring genes into this discussion.]

Beauty is the luck of the draw. I hate Hollywood and what it has done to women's self esteem. If you do not look like the latest Hollywood slut, you are not worth anything.

[Yet, you say that you don't look like that, and men are telling you how beautiful you are. Do you have any idea how false you sound, or is that God-given, too?]

4. I am a heartless bitch because I truly believe that you must work for what you have and you must be the best you can be, no excuses.

[That would mean so much more coming from someone else.]

5. I am a heartless bitch because I hate to hear sluts talk about how men are so horrible and how mistreated they are. Get a clue dumb ass, men mistreat you because you allow it and you act like low class sluts. No man wants to take a slut home to momma or have his children raised by a slut. Respect yourself and a man will respect you.

[So where did all this prim, proper, holier-than-thou behavior get you? You got traded in for a later model. It's not that I disagree with your sentiment. I disagree with it coming from you. You sound like a hypocrite. It's not your self-respect that helped you out. It's the fact that you used what you have, while NOT putting out, which allows you do talk down to other people.]

I am sick of people thinking our government, their parents, friends, etc., owe them something.

[They do owe us something, just not what people seem to think that it does. Our government serves us, not the other way around. Parents have a responsibility to their children, not the other way around. Friends have responsibilities to their friends, or they are not good candidates for friends any longer.]

My favorite quote is from President Kennedy. "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." I say, ask not what others can do for you, but what can you do for yourself first and what can you do for others.

[Your quote doesn't have anything to do with what Kennedy said, you know. If this is truly how you feel, then what do you have against welfare?]

One Liner:
I tell it like it really is no matter what others think. I am no shrinking violet and Scarlett O'Hara is my hero.

[Yeah, Scarlett O'Hara is quintessentially who you are. As God is your witness, you'll never be hungry again, so long as Butterfly McQueen is there to serve you your dinner.]



Name: Paula

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a sociopath who uses men and discards them.

[And you seriously thought that this would work?]

One Liner:
Love 'em and leave 'em

[Just leave 'em. Back away from them.]



Name: Dawn

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Jeezus where do I start?

[Why didn't you just skip to the end?]

So I'm 36 years old. I've never been married and I don't have children. This is by choice. I reallyyyyyyyy need someone to explain to me why these are bad choices.

[Why does it matter what people think of your choices?]

Apparently it means I hate men and I'm a bitter, angry, jaded bitch, I'm a lesbian or I hate kids. It couldn't possibly be because I wanted to be independent and establish some sort of life for myself instead of being trapped in a situation where it could take years for me to dig my way out.

[Marriage isn't always a trap, though. Can't you just have decided NOT to get married? You sound like those infomercials who really offer a decent product, or idea, and bend themselves backwards trying to show you what is wrong with the OLD system. You know, like that pancake pan that you flip, and it can cook on both sides. Pretty good idea (but I'm not a cook) if you're only cooking one pancake at a time. Meanwhile, to convince me, they show me the most incompetent cooks in the world to demonstrate how good this product is.]

It couldn't possibly be because I never met anyone I loved enough or had enough of a connection with to say yes I'll be with you forever. I'm sick to death of having to explain my life and my choices to every ignoramous that is so inclined to pry.]

[The question is why you do.]

It's unrealistic to middle class, married, 2.3 kidded society to understand someone who thinks with her head...not with her pussy or her (puke) heart. I think that's what pisses me off the most. Why is that unrealistic??

[Because you're not really showing that is what you're doing. You aren't against marriage. You haven't met the right guy. This is what YOU said. What you are really telling me is that you haven't had the opportunity to GET married, which is why you're single. All that other stuff about not wanting to get trapped is crap, based on the fact that you said that you haven't met your future Mr. yet.]

Why is there immediately something wrong with a strong, independent, fun-loving, self and sexually aware woman? Sometimes I feel like I want to explode and slap the living shit out of the next person that looks at me like I have three heads because I've just told them I've never been married.

[That's because you have spinster issues.]

Ever work in an office full of biddies and hens that just want to make you rip your hair out?

[Nope. I'm afraid I don't pay that much attention to them. I usually find them amusing.]

I wonder if they've ever had a creative or original thought in their mediocre ho hum life. I don't care what the bitch in the next cubicle said about you. I don't care if your kid peed in the toliet this morning. I don't care that your insensitve husband forgot your birthday. I don't care that your husbands ex-wife is making your life miserable. I don't care that you're dreading the holidays because your mother in law is soooooo mean to youuuuu. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Cry me a f'n river.

[You care enough to share it with me.]

All I can say to all of this is thank God I have a best friend that is single and independent...that still loves to go out and have a good time...that still loves to hang out in our pajamas, have milk and cookies and watch Sex and the City or ER...even though OMG we're 36!!! Thank God that there are other women who are as tired of all this as I am. I was beginning to think I was the mental case. Luckily I can see I'm not.

[Yeah, but wait until one of you finds HIM. Call me then.]

One Liner:
Intolerance...I have less patience everyday for sheer stupidity.

[What do you do about it besides tear your hair out?]



Name: blondiebitch

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
well here are just a few....i know when im in a bitch mood i can easily start an argument w/my "other half" by making him feel guilty about his demon of an ex,and win!

[Does he know what kind of manipulative wife he's married? Of course he does. It's a good thing that people with your type of lunacy tend to find one another.]

This also usually gets him to clean the house&get to chores that he had been putting off.

[Have you tried ASKING?]

One Liner:
I may be a bitch but im no less a classy woman.

[You're classy with a capital K.]



Name: DeAnne

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Wy even bother explaining...but I will tell you that last night

[Why bother?]

I was at a Mexican restaraunt and I got pissed a the waiter who was an a-hole for no reason so I left a one dollar tip on a thirty doillar bill but left a pile of refried beans on top of it.

[You're just as classy as the last applicant. Did it ever occur to you to make a complaint to the manager?]

One Liner:
If you're nice, I'm twice as nice. If you're not, I'm twice as mean.

[Yeah, she'll leave money under refried beans, or something.]







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