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Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

by JadeSyren


For the Week of April 2nd, 2000



Name: ill na na

Email : hardkore69er@gimmeabreak.com

UserID : foxy

[Folks, it just doesn't get any sillier than this.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
cause i will take no shit from no man

[...Before his time?]

they go by my rules i do what i want to do!!!!

One Liner:
a bitch is a bitch not a dogs beat friend

[A dog's beat friend is a stick. **rimshot**]



Email : schoolkid@bigpond.com

UserID : dumbabe

[She said it.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i know you are but what am i!!!!!!!!

[I'm rubber, you're glue.]

One Liner:
cant be bothered to think right now

[When CAN you be bothered to think?]



Email : lisa@ivillageidiot.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless Bitch because When I drive I curse at everyone, give so many the finger, and tell people off. When people Piss me off I get nasty. I hang up on telephone solicitors, and tell them off.

[True to form, Lisa hangs up on solicitors, only to think of witty one-liners to shout into the dial-tone.]

One Liner:
I dated the Dogs, but they call me a Bitch.

[But are you AKC registered?]



Name: p

[There's going to be trouble, right here in Bitch city. With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pathetic.]

Email : crashandburn@webtv.net

UserID : 111111

[I know what you're thinking. Was it five ones, or six? Do you feel lucky?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

I   can   do   any   thing   I   want

One Liner:
i'm   in

[In what? Over your head? Trouble? Coherent? Bred?]



Email : BabyBlonde1@nitwit.net

URL : Yea....but all of it won't fit here!

[When someone asks for your URL, what they want from you is the dot com part. When they get there, they can see the content.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I've cheated, lied, and screwed people over...and felt NO guilt...they DESERVED it!!!!!

One Liner:
Add booze....instant BITCH!

[So what are you when you're not drunk...oh, what am I saying?]



Email : airport74@aol.com

UserID : caps74

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am so sick of these lifeless bitchbutt man

[I think we are ALL weary of the "bitchbutt" man, whatever that means.]

going out and playing. oh, but when they get their butt shot,

[Who has the gun? All of a sudden, this has taken a sinister turn for the worse.]

who the heck do they turn to/

[Lifeless. Shot. They turn to the coroner.]

I am a bitch because I am sick of this bull, if you are a boy then play like a boy, but if you are a man than play with the big boys

[Only DON'T play like a boy, or something like that. She's not sure. She lost her point at bitchbutt.]

and stop the darn whinnin

[Yeah! Lose like a man...or a BIG boy...or something along those lines. Just don't whin. Kwitters never whin.]

One Liner:
So sick of women pickin boys and then wanting to cry about it afterwards..duh!

[Yeah, she is DUH stupidest person here.]



Email : aoloser@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a redhead and i take no shit off anyone anymore after taking shit from my ex for 11 years.. i thihk men who hit woman should have their balls wrapped around their ankles and throwed in the nearest lake...

[Consider your application throwed in the nearest lake with those balls, Red.]

One Liner:
If you cant ask for it like a man..Dont scratch for it like a dog..

[This imagery is frightening. Is your pussy buried in the yard, or something? Do you have fleas?]


Email : Lookasheep@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have devoted my life NOT being like my best friend Jessica who has stayed with her boyfriend of 3 years even though he's cheated on her more times than I can count, calls her fat (even though she's a stick), and then she even apologizes at the end!

[This would have had more impact had you not made a website shrine to your current beau.]

One Liner:
"I'll Thoreau your ass out of the house if you don't wear clothes around the house, nature boy."

[You can lead a horticulture....(Fabulana Inc.)]



Email : fluffhead@AOL.COM

UserID : HISBITCH

[But of course.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I JUST DONT BELIEVE

[...in turning off my caps lock key.]

MY BOYFRIENDS EX NEEDS TO SIT HOME ON HER ASS AND DO NOTHING TO HELP SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN, WHILE MY BOYFRIEND WORKS AND SENDS MONEY TO SUPPORT THEIR 4 KIDS.

[I have to question the judgment of someone that chooses someone with an ex and four kids.]

One Liner:
I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR EX WIVES THAT SIT ON THEIR FAT ASS AT HOME COLLECTING CHILD SUPPORT,WHEN I NEED THEIR EX HUSBANDS MONEY LOL !

[Get a job, you bum. It's not like he had those kids AFTER you met him.]



Name: peaches

Email : cheddarcheez@aloser.com

UserID : nosebleed

[Her most common ailment. Usually follows having fists in her nose. Probably a never-ending cycle.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i'm a heartless bitch because i h8 the world + every1 on it

One Liner:
if your head is nemore up u'r own ass you'll look like a polo mint baby

[Look, she misspelled you'll. Woe is she, a good student after all.]



Email : rude@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
1. my exboyfriend sent me this link. that should tell you something.

2. I run my own highly successful PR agency - a "nickname" past bosses/co-workers gave me. My title? Queen Bitch.

3. I box. In the ring. For relaxation. and yes, I can kick your ass.

oh, and I'm not putting this in HTML because I believe that's YOUR job?

have a lovely day.

One Liner:
I belong to MENSA, I'm better looking that your girlfriend, I can run in stillettos, and I can knock you out with one punch - any questions?

[Why all the hostility? Why is it crucial for you to list references? Why do you confuse being a bitch with being rude? Why is it shocking that women box, when they've been doing it for decades? How do all you Queen Bitches tell each other apart? Does MENSA have a spelling standard? Why do you complain about having an HTML option and why is there a question mark at the end of that declaration? Lastly, I'd love to know how the "Kitten with VERY Sharp Claws" schtick got so popular.]



Email : mojo@stillscreaming.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[This was a toughie.]

One Liner:
Can I help you DIM WIT?????

[The bell tolls for thee....]


Email : everyvariantofwitchistaken@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
At the end of my last relationship, his whiny, clinging to my leg while kneeling on the floor crying, pleading, and begging me to stay -JUST FUCKING PISSED ME OFF. DAMN.

[Have you tried obedience school? Maybe your next pet should be a cat, some people just aren't dog people.]

One Liner:
In public restrooms, why the fuck do I have to put a quarter into a machine to get a tampon, but toilet paper is free???

[Some of the larger cities even charge to use the stall. Stop expecting people to cater to you and buy your own damn tampons.]



Email : liam@whiner.ca

[She submitted two of these, this is the weaker of them.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

i have been married for 5 years. that should do it.

[It doesn't.]

One Liner:

have you noticed all female problems start with men? you know, mental illness, menstration, menopause?

[And you married one anyway? Have you ever analyzed this ridiculous statement? Mental illness is a female problem? Menstruation, or a monthly cycle, is a female problem. Menopause, when the cycle is OVER, is a problem. What does it take to make you dimwits happy? Answer: More keychain logic.]




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