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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of November 9, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Daniel

UserID : scheisse

[Hmmm.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a terrible listener when it comes to someone's petty little "problems".

[Problems like..."Daniel, I've broken my leg," or "Daniel, there's cum all over the mirror."]

Generally my response is "oh well" or "get over it" or "why are you telling me this". I could care less why my neighbors' relationships continually fail. I could also care less what's being looked for in the oposite sex.. news flash... you're not going to find it!! There is no "perfect" person for you. Merely someone "more tolerable" than the rest. As far as sappy "chick flicks" or boy bands go, gaaaaggg!!! Save it.

[But you're a DUDE, Daniel. It's not surprising that you don't like Chick flix or boy bands.]

One Liner:
If I cared what you thought, I'd ask for your sentiments, but so far the little man who screams "I care" isn't jumping around in my eyes.

[You have little men jumping around in your eyes?]



Name: Shane

[Shaaaaaaaaane!]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because a true and wise Heartless Bitch has described me as an Honorary Heartless Bitch - takes one to know one, right?

[No. I don't have to be crazy to know that someone is unstable.]

And I think that Michael Bolton is the anti-Elvis,

[Has Michael Bolton performed lately? When the site was written, he was in his hey day, but come on now.]

whiners (male and female) should stop whining and start doing something constructive, and men and women who play victim or helpless, whether for rewards material or emotional (including the masochist's reward of feeling miserable and having a sick life), are morons.

[Wank, wank.]

P.S.: the country that I'm currently in isn't listed in your pull-down menu. You think PMS is 'mad'? Ha! Amateurs! Don't make me angry...you won't like me when I'm angry.

[Good idea! Get mad about not having your country listed, and leave out THE COUNTRY THAT YOU NEED LISTED.]

One Liner:
Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?!

[Better when DeNiro did this.]

(that's just how I get when my Heartless Bitch button is pushed - it's so great to get in touch with my feminine side now and then)

[Go knit a sweater. We're not into getting in touch with our FEMININE sides.]



Name: Daniel

UserID : scheisse

[Didn't we just talk to you?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Too deep a subject to just leap into..

[He thought that cryptic and vague would serve him better. Ha ha ha.]

One Liner:
If I really cared I wouldn't be here...

[...posting scheisse.]



Name: Fay

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate whiney snivelly people and I have a very low tolerance for stupidity. I can change my own flat tire thank you very much,

[Oh, so what? If you have a car, you should be able to do these kinds of things. I don't place a lot of value on the ability to CHANGE A TIRE, but the ability to FIX YOUR OWN MESS, no matter how you do it. If that means that you have the foresight to have joined AAA, and can call for help, so be it.]

and although I appreciate you stopping to ask if I need assistance, don't look at me like I have two heads when I say no thank you. I have nothing against men,

[Only a fool turns away a civil gesture with this kind of attitude. You know what, lots of people will ask--EVEN MEN--if they could use a hand. People are kinder in general than we give them credit for.]

in fact I live with one - but the first one that treats me like a helpless princess is in for the shock of his life. I say what I want and I do what I want - and don't tell me I should do any different. And no, it's "not that time of the month" it's just that your stupidity is pissing me off.

[It's YOUR stupidity that is pissing you off.]

One Liner:
Isn't it hard to walk with that board up your ass? Or... Bend over please. Why? I'd like to see just what type of bug crawled up your ass.

[Why do you need to see what bug is in her ass? When you revamp a cliche, make it make sense.]



Name: titi

Email : titi@titi.com

UserID : 12345

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
cuzcuz cuz cuzcuz cuz cuzvvv cuzcuzcuzcuz cuz cuz cuzcuzcuzvcuzvv cuzcuzcuzvcuz cuzvvvcuzvv cuzcuzcuzcuzcuzcuz cuzcuzvcuzcuz

One Liner:
cuzcuzcuzcuzcuz cuzcuzvcuz cuzvcuzcuzcuz cuzcuzcuzcuz

[Do you know where YOUR children are?]



Name: Tina

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
WELL FOR STARTERS I ANSWERED YES TO ALL THE QUESTIONS,

[Well, come on down!]

AND LIKE WOW FOUND A BUNCHA BITCHES THAT SEE THE SAME LAME, PITTY PARTY BULLSHIT THAT I DO, AND ALSO IF A MAN AINT 46 47 N OVER HES STILL WEARIN PULL UPS, AND I'M ONLY 33, AND YEAH LOL WHEN THEY ASK,

[What the hell are you talking about?]

DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT? I GLADY TELL THEM , YES IT DOES, AND SO WILL THE NEXT ONE.SO MAYBE CATCH YA LATER IF NOT , FUCKIT ADIOS MUTHA FKAS

[I could be wrong, but I think he needs Jesus.]

One Liner:
THE NEXT 2 QUESTIONS..... CAUSE UMMMM A 15 YR OLD IS STILL BRAT NOT BITCH, THEN MY GENDER? UMMM MALE BITCHES HAHAHAHA OH THIS IS GONNA BE FUN

[Yes, you and your cohorts can snicker about how dumb I must be to fall for your obvious attempt to make my column. Congratulations! You're all officially dumbasses.]



Name: Sandra

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a single mom who has a career (office Manager) and I've not required gov't handouts or subsidies to get where I am.

[You're not supposed to require help from the government. You're not going to get credit because you're not a welfare mom, or you're not a crackwhore, or you're not in jail. YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THESE THINGS. You are SUPPOSED to be self-sufficient.]

The heartless part takes effect the minute you ask me if you look fat in those jeans

[Okay, I have to know how many people really ask this question. I get this in over HALF my applications.]

One Liner:
God gave me multiple brain cells. I'm using mine, what's your excuse?

[...for what? I am not SUPPOSED to have an excuse.]



Name: Beth

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't put up with anyone elses shit. EVER. I am who I am, if you don't like it, see ya later, bye! Recently, a girlfriend of mine was cheating on her fiance, whom I am also good friends with, so when he hears the rumors and asks her about it she lies to him, he asks me, I tell him the truth...fuck her if she can't be honest, I didn't need to be brought into the middle of it.

[Thereby putting yourself smack dab in the middle of it.]

I have a lot of pet peeves like that....and so is the story of my life.

[AIIIGH! At least it was a SHORT story.]

I'm married, and 22, do you know how much shit I get for that?

[Oh please. Imagine the shit you'd have gotten if you had the baby out of wedlock.]

People, stay out of my life and find something constructive to do with your own!

[You're married at 22--how interesting can your life be? Believe me, no one really gives a shit about your life.]

One Liner:
Being a bitch is what life is really all about.

[I wouldn't say it's what life is ABOUT.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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