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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of October 26, 2003
edited by Jadesyren

Name: Michelle Perez (not my real name)

[Damn. I thought I was talking to Rosie Perez's little dumbass sister or something.]

Email : cummin@you.com

[I bet that's a fake.]

UserID : Yolanda

[Is this your real name?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
This site is fucking retarded. All it is is a bunch angry lezboes who've got nothing better to do than to insult people and hurt people's feelings.

[Did we hurt your widdo feewings?]

I hate sites like this. What makes you so special that people can't just join, they have to write a whole essay?

[It's our stupidity filter, and it needs to be cleaned often.]

I mean, come on. You all are always calling people stupid, but really, your not that bright yourselfs.

[I am crushed under your witty repartee.]

Get help or something. And put me up on your bull shit Weak of the week or whatever, as long as you know what i have to say.

[I must have slept through the content part.]

One Liner:
This site is for angry bitter people.

[Oh, we're not bitter....]



Name: Angela

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I wrote this today that I feel express why I feel i'm a Heartless Bitch.

[Oh, if there is anything I hate worse than stories, it's poetry.]

Because I am not afraid...

[But I am. AIGH!]

I'm not afraid to to say no
i'm not afraid to love myself for who I am
I'm not afraid to love others
I'm not afraid to be alone.

[Aaaaah, it doesn't rhyme, and it sucks too much for prose.]

I'm not afraid to keep my ideals
and i'm not afraid to change them
I'm not afraid to admit i'm wrong
I'm not afraid to learn and explore
I'm not afraid to express my mind
I'm not afraid to be ME!

I am not afraid.

[Move over, Sylvia Plath!]

One Liner:
Don't be afraid. Your going to die in the end anyways.

[Right after I kill this application.]



Name: Laura

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I cant freaking stand whiney assed women who stick with men who degrade them constantly. I have been divorced twice because my husbands were freaking spineless puppy dogs , who needed me to tell them to breathe. I believe women should be strong and independent and the only need we have for men is ........well you know. I also despise women who are have to have a man in thier lives to be happy . Nothing worse than going out with the girls and have half of them chase looser men around .

[I'll say. Some women act like they can't do without men.]

I say girl time is girl time. I also hate tacky pick up lines , the worst one was hey baby , I looked your picture up in the dictionary and the definition was KABLAM.

[How'd he look up a picture in the dictionary?]

I told this dude , that would not get him a date with me and I proceeded to dump my water on him ( we were at the gym).

[That explains the water. Why the detail?]

One Liner:
I want a man who can memorize and repeat the phrase " yes laura you are right you are always right" and " I am not your bitch so dont hang your shit on me"

[Yeah, I always hang my shit on a bitch and not a hook.]



Name: Chelsea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Sometimes I talk to much, everyone does...but it doesn't always get everyone in trouble.

[That's because some of us think BEFORE we open our mouths.]

Usually just me, when I tell a bouncer to fuck himself, or tell some girl that just stole the last pair of fendi sunglasses in my color to kill herself.

[Stole? STOLE, you little consumer? No, you were just too slow.]

I do things that get me in trouble too, but I usually just piss on the authority when they try to tell me what to do. I'm the Jesus Christ of my universe and I'll fuck up any Judas who tries to backstab, lie, or kill me, and believe me I have.

[Great...a princess with a God complex.]

I throw 140 degree lattes at Starbucks workers if they don't remember my pump of almond,

["...and a splash--just a SPLASH-of hazelnut, okay, orange extract, the extra foam in a separate cup. I have to spoon it on myself because y'all never get it right."

Let's look at this. I doubt that you'd actually THROW a cup of latte without racking up an assault charge, so "throw" here may really mean, "return" even if it's a bit forceful, and the foam splashes on the counter. You probably meekly remind them that you asked for an almond pump, holding up the already enormous line.]

and I go to strip clubs to show up the girls cause I obviously have more talent, brains, and

[Insecurity?]

tits than them.

[You can practically pick those up at the grocery store.]

In summation, when need be, I kick the asses of the weak, innocent, and stupid peons who don't know their asses from their ugly faces...all with a smile from ear to ear.

[That's like shooting fish in a barrel.]

One Liner:
It doesnt matter who gets ahead in this world first, because the one who does it with more balls, suave, and bigger tits

["What makes a man, is it the woman in his arms...just cause she's got big titties? Is it the way, he fights every day-ah? No, it's probably the titties."--DVDA]

is the one who will end up in the end with the guy, the job, the money, and most value. Everyone else will be bowing at their feet...and right now, i'm very valuable.

[It's probably the titties.]



Name: Sheila

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
An example of a typical day

[This sounds like it's going to be a story.]

1)Got up in morning ; shouted at my cleaner because he didnt knock on the door to come in ,

[You have a manservant, and that annoys you? LOCK the door.]

although he is 44 and i am 14 but will not take some perevet thinking hes equal to me because hes a PERVERT

[At least ONE of you IS thinking.]

2)Screamed at mother telling her i hate her because she wont buy me white bread because im becoming chubby ; my mother is obbesse

[Obese or obsessed?]

( as i clearly point out to her )I AM NOTFAT ""!! its as if she wants me to prepare myself for the world by looking good

[Poor you.]

3)Went to school had an argument with form teacher who only got hired because shes fit and blonde because i was a minute late to school

[When you're pretty, punctuality doesn't matter.]

4)Made a girl cry because i told her the truth about her maths result ; she called me a bitch

[What a small little superficial world you live in.]

5)Had another argument with this fat; flat assed Pakistani giant because she had the cheek to call me argumentitive for no reason ; IF THERE WAS NO REASON TO IT HOW COME I WIN THE ARGUMENT ?

[She should have called you an idiot when she was at it. Do you know what argumentative means? In your own story, not a single transaction has gone by without your arguing.]

6)came home finding another one of my friends having a boyfriend

[Having him for a snack?]

thats about 4pm ; i fall asleep at 11pm

[She slides back into her coffin.]

One Liner:
Dont even try to call me a bitch ; Yet ;
its the tip of the iceberg

[Boy, you don't get to read about any of this going on at Hogwarts.]









Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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