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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of October 5, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Roz

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I get really pissed off with the pretty little girls who can eat what they like and never get fat!

[That's not anger; that's envy.]

I hate the fat chicks who bitch and moan about being fat and never go for a run

[You must be a dull person if all you want to talk about is weight.]

And I hate the fact that most of the good guys go out with one of the above two.

[Oh yeah, fat chicks ALWAYS have a date.]

One Liner:
Bitchiness is not a bad thing, its just a low tolerance to bullshit!

[You simply have a penchant for it.]



Name: andy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am piss of with my lasy wife so she sod all f me

[I'm not even sure what you're talking about. Sod all of you? What?]

One Liner:
so you hartless bitchess out thire come and hire this sexy male escort

[Bleah. You're not sexy if you're stupid.]



Name: SAM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I take money for the pure pleasure of kicking mens asses,

[You're a gun for hire?]

i slap kick and spit on there faces,and the stupid punks pay me good money for this,They like to dress up in womens clothes get fucked in the ass.

[Oh, I see. You're a sex worker. Put in for a promotion.]

I get great job satisfaction

[I don't know. While it might be fun at first, I think it would get sickening to cater to their fantasies like this. It's no fun to kick an ass who WANTS it. See: Little Shop of Horrors.]

One Liner:
Im the worlds best bitch,Im a Bitch in sweethearts clothing.My favourite words are gimmie gimmie gimmie

[You're just greedy.]



Name: DEBI

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
BECAUSE I BITCH ABOUT EVERTHING THAT IS NOT MY WAY

One Liner:
I'M A BITCH BECAUSE I CAN

[You're not a bitch; you're a total fucking pain in the ass.]



Name: Czarodziej

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Does talking about yourself make you look better in your own eyes?

[I'm not sure I get the relevance of your question.]

One Liner:
tak, tak

[Is this take, take, or talk, talk?]



Name: Amanda

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am not a heartless bitch yet, but I aspire to become one.

[We're looking for full-fledged Heartless Bitches.]

I despise morons and pathetic, needy losers of every demographic description. (Especially my ex-husband!)

[Hey, don't look here. YOU PICKED HIM.]

I am no longer outspoken or tenacious, but I am working on it. According to your bitchiness test, I am already there, but multiple choice quizzes don't prove much.

[Then why include it?]

If you don't accept me, I don't really care because I can read your postings anyway.

[Really? How are you reading our postings?]

Besides, I have abuse recovery websites up the ass. I can always join some touchy-feely support group, and reapply when I'm back to normal.

[Do you know where you're applying? We're NOT abuse recovery. Let me disabuse you (and anyone else) of that misguided notion right now. If you think that you're going to "get well," "share stories," "seek help and/or advice," or "learn something," then go as far away as you can. We don't do sick, healing, or on the road to recovery. We don't have time to coddle your emotional immaturity and insecurities. We don't have time for your bullshit, in other words. Go hire a professional. WE ARE NOT THERAPY.]

One Liner:
I could do that, but it would be pointless and stupid.

[Yet you did it anyway.]



Name: Karen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I work. I work my ass off. I don't need anything handed to me. Not even respect, even though I deserve it. I have found that the only way to have self-confidence in a world that tells women everyday to behave, shut up, take up less space, be pretty, be nice, and above all, be dependent, is to say, NO. No, I'll get my own check. No, I'll open my own doors. No, I'll make my own path. And I do.

[Okay. See, the problem with short answers is you never know if the writer is berzerko. Let's keep reading.]

I am a heartless bitch because I am passionate about my beliefs, and I refuse to back down from a debate. I believe that intelligent, sane people can have an all out brawl, a political/scientific/religious/philosophical/moral debate that rocks the ground and topples mountains, and STILL can go out for coffee and scone afterward. (Coffee and a scone? Ok, so I'm a quirky heartless bitch...)

[Bah. Quirky is kumquat quiche.]

Intelligent people, like myself, can do that because their self-esteem is not going to be shaken by anyone BUT THEMSELVES. Intelligent people are confident in their own abilities and reasoning, and they don't need the validation of other people to make themselves feel "special". I surround myself by people like that because others are simply boring. Or annoying. And I choose to be an intelligent bitch because I never want to have anyone tell me what I need to believe unless they give me damn good reasons for it. Reason is not only good, it's priceless to me.

[Okay, let me put her in the "Good to Go" bin...wait, there's more.]

I'm a heartless bitch because I laughed at 'Titanic', because I scream bloody murder at the TV when watching football, and because I hate it when people can't keep up with my walking pace. I am a heartless bitch because I know who I am, and no one can ever convince me otherwise.

[Okay, who the hell is this, and what happened to Karen?]

One Liner:
Patience is NOT a virtue when it comes to making your life complete - get moving.

[I'm not sure that you MAKE your life complete, or if you REALIZE it.]



Name: Kristine

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I just divorced my husband of ten years because he was a lazy, good-for-nothing man that lied and cheated on me.

[And it only took you ten years to figure that out. Better late than never, I guess.]

I'm already dating again and, in fact, started dating the minute I started divorce proceedings.

[That can't be good for the divorce.]

I have a house, a successful career, a hot car, a hot guy - and I did it all myself.

[You and your future alimony, I reckon.]

I do not and will not let anyone tell me what to do or how to run my life. I make my own rules. I'm a HEARTLESS BITCH!

[That isn't what being a Heartless Bitch is about.]

One Liner:
Keep talking. I might just start to care - in a few centuries.

[Are you seriously planning to listen to someone that long?]



Name: Leslie [see if you can find site]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I treat people in the manner that they treat the world.

[She's a dispenser of justice.]

Narrow mindedness deserves a boot in the ass.

[Oh, but that's so narrow minded.]

Despite my ardent hatred toward "signing up" for any sort of definitive "personality club",

[Personality club? Is that how you see us? Denied! I only wish I could set fire to this.]

I am applying for Heartless Bitch status. The term "Heartless", to me, implies indescriminant cruelty...Am I cruel?

[Did you bother reading anything about us, or did the cool pictures turn you on?]

Yes--sometimes overly so, but never without provocation. Some individuals cower behind archaic hierarchies or injust social norms, misusing their own privilege to demean others.

[And you don't see your reflection in that statement?]

These are the type of people I LOVE to verbally berate, ridicule, and embarass--- generally in front of large groups of their peers.

[Yawn. This is so passe.]

I also frequently get urges to metholicaly and vindictively destroy people who have personally me,

[Personally me?]

especially when they refuse to discuss the subject with me..... Details seem irrelevant.

[While I thank you for not relaying a story, I have to comment that the details being irrelevant to you seems awfully convenient to me.]

My bitchiness began roughly two years ago, right after I went through my obnoxiously tortured/depressed teenage self-discovery phase.

[AIGH! A story! She TRICKED me.]

While the thought of returning to that wimpy masochism nauseates me thouroughly, it ultimately led me to develop a wonderful vendetta against insipid assumptions about "the way things should be".

[Whew! At least it was short.]

Sorry if this description of my angst isn't suitable.

[It's not suitable and it's just plain boring, stupid and trifling. Like I care about your wonder years.]

One Liner:
Feel the descent of my wrath upon your wretched being.

[I hope it's less dull than this was.]



[From Natalie's junkbox]

Natalie: "Is this someone we rejected? I smell sour grapes."

[I don't know. Let's see.]

From: czar3k@poczta.neostrada.pl

Have a couple questions for you:
1. Do you think you are the center of the world? (you seem so)

[Thank you. It's a strange honor to be the center of your world.]

2. Do you hate beautiful people because they never give you attention or because they are better that you? (you seem so)

[Beauty is irrelevant because we don't ask for pictures.]

3. Do you think life's about interesting conversation and satisfying your needs? (you seem so)

[Duh.]

4. If you are so great why do I hear it from YOU?

[I'm so great, I even hear it from you. Remember when you said it seemed like we are the center of the world?]

5. How does it feel to be God and have everything deep in ass, except for yourself?

[I'm not even sure what you mean, so I can't answer this one. I don't keep anything in my ass, much less DEEP in ass.]

**********************************
you are simply stupid, not smart
arrogant not self-confident
boring not interesting

[So why do we have YOUR attention?]

tiring not giving relief

[I don't care HOW much or HOW nicely you ask, I AM NEVER relieving you. EVER.]

full of fears

[Full of fears? Who's the crybaby who applied this week, and didn't even wait to see if she was rejected before mailing this?]

egoistic
empty and vain
and you will never get what you want

[That depends on what I want. I have everything I need, and more. As a bonus, I'm also the center of your world.]

because such a combination is a turn-OFF, not a turn-ON, as you claim

[I'm glad I turn you off. That answers that whole "relieving" question. Ick.]

FUCK YOU than

[Than what? You're just going to walk out on your own sentence. Can't blame you. You bore me, too.]





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