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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 21, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Serrina

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I may look small and easy to step on, but you won't make the same mistake a second time.

[No, if I ever chose to stomp on people, I'd make sure I ground them into dust. I wouldn't want to turn my back on someone I mistreated that way. There's no percentage in stomping people, anyway.]

Step on my toes, and my biker bitch boots will give you the first inclination I won't put up with your crap.

[Do you get stepped on a lot? Are you a doormat? Get your ass off the floor.]

One Liner:
He tries to dominate me when he forgets himself, but I can usually cure that with one look.

[That's just silly. If he's cured, he wouldn't do it again. What you're doing is just buying time.]



Name: Patti

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have a backbone, speak my mind, my initals are PMS,

[Your last name started with an M, not an S. Your initials might be PSM, but they are not PMS, unless you're talking about your MONOGRAM, in which case it would be pMs. No matter how you slice it, it comes up stupid and useless.]

put my three dogs initals together and they are PMS, and I do not bite my tounge for anyone.

[Why on earth would you name your dogs something like that? Instead of going for cryptic, why not name them Bitch, Terror, and Menstrual, for example. I'm sure you could think of a real doozy if you tried.]

One Liner:
My initals are PMS and I live by them!

[Yeah, overly hormonal. Bleah!]



Name: Saturnelia

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I take control in situations, never let a man talk down to me, treat men how they deserve to be treated, make them lick my feet, dont ever lend money, run a paysite where men pay to see me doing nude photography. If someone pisses me off, they're out the door. I don't put up with disrespect. Also, I'm a dominatrix.

[Wrong site, lady. Don't look to us for credibility. We won't give it to just ANYONE.]

One Liner:
Eccentric art + Ethical Sluttery = Heartless Bitch!

[You forgot to carry the one. It equals "Pussy for Sale." Recalculate your formula.]



Name: Celina

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Like I have to explain why I do anything.

[Like I have to give you membership.]

One Liner:
Go away.

[You came here.]



Name: Angelique

UserID : Jade

[Could this be a fan? An anti-fan? Who knows?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am sick and fuckin' tired of these grown-ass, in their 50's and I'm trying to figure out how the hell they were able to live this long, men telling me they "are so very busy, and besides they've been hurt so much in the past (as in 5 years ago) that they just can't let anyone in behind their walls."

[Why are you dating your father? Please, don't be a dumbass. He's telling you that he'll fuck you, but he won't keep you.]

Oh, yeah, motherfucker? How about if I punch you so hard your eyes implode? Will that teach you about hurt? Get the fuck over it!!! Not only that, but I didn't even SUGGEST that this would be a long-term committment thing,

[Oh, you KNOW this already. Why are you complaining about it here? Stop sleeping with father figures, and MOVE ON.]

so to even think that I want behind their walls is a tremendous insult to this Goddess. Arrogant, cowardous pricks.

[Okay, so they aren't worshipping at your altar. MOVE. ON.]

One Liner:
I just LOVE to look the Himbo's up and down, bust out laughing, and walk away without a glance back.

[Yeah, but you'll beg their fathers to keep you longer than a night or two. Sad.]



Name: Debbie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
All of the above. Bite me. I have never been accused of having a heart of gold.

[How about a brain? Accused of having one of those?]

One Liner:
I want to belong to a community made up of people like Bonnie Persson-John and all of the friends who have eulogized her so beautifully.

[You are a sick, twisted fuckwad, Debbie. How DARE you use the death of my friend as some kind of secret password to gain admittance? Guess what, you little twit, you ALREADY ARE a part of a community that would do such a thing. YOU HAVE TO EARN THAT. People will give a fuck if you die or not if you're someone that they'd miss, or someone who has done ANYTHING worth remembering. You're not. Fuck right off.]



Name: Milissa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Yesterday I received the following e-mail from twelve of my friends.

[AIGH! Now you're going to share this shit with us?]

***Subject: Inertsing Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Fcuknig amzanig huh? ***

My Response:
"Subject: Interesting(First, correct your spelling, then your pronunciation)

[You certainly missed the point, but you DID demonstrate it. You DID understand the misspelled word after all.]

The following has become my standard reply to all my friends that sent this to me because I bitch about their spelling.

[All BOTH of them should promptly look for someone else to fill your void.]

It may actually be because of the way you spell that we can now read this. Our minds have begun to process words that do not exist. Chicken vs. the egg theory: Which came first the incorrect spelling or the ability to understand it anyway? It may just be a case of evolution and adaptation. Keep it up and our great, great grandchildren may never have to even try to spell a word correctly. It just won't matter.

[This shit doesn't matter, but you're overheated about it anyway.]

Basically, what I am saying is that while I admit to being able to comprehend this, I would not call it reading.

[You comprehended it by divine intervention? It's reading, you twit.]

I believe that what occurs would be called deciphering (try spelling that one without spell check) and if we hadn't learned the word in its original, correct form we would be utterly unable to make it out at all.

[Obviously, if it were in French, it would be illegible, if you didn't speak French--Freedom. Oh damn. And yes, this is reading. Reading and deciphering have a very similar meaning. It's just that it takes you LONGER to read this jumble because you read normally spelled words at a much quicker rate. Remember, quick deciphering is what reading's all about.]

In an effort to be funny you have had the audacity to send me an e-mail with the word "interesting" spelled incorrectly. Know that all of your inane excuses for your total lack of intelligence will never work on me. You may regain my respect when you learn to spell and stop the excuses.

[Miss High and Mighty. I'd be more angry about them mailing spam, but at least this isn't the run of the mill spam you normally get. Why get so angry about it?]

Next week's lesson, boys and girls, is to practice pronouncing "in-ter-est-ing".

[Followed by a crash course in "Eating Crow." Pick up a good dictionary. Read the pronunciation of this word AGAIN. Note that "In-tres-ting is the preferred pronounciation, but BOTH are acceptable. After you read that again, pound yourself in the back of the head with it. One way or the other, you're going to be better off.]

For those of you new to the correct spelling, look closely. It is not now, nor has it ever been "in-trest-ing". Work on this and your many other flaws that I have so diligently pointed out during our time together."

[It may not be spelled that way, but it IS pronounced this way.]

I believe that response is a good example of the type of person I am.

[Yeah. You're an idiot.]

I am not shy about my

[...idiocy?]

total lack of tolerance for ill-formed, semi-illiterate bantering.

[Oooh, are you going to REALLY hate reading this. Do you even OWN a dictionary?]

I do not believe that my intelligence, my opinion, my utter contempt of Barbie-brained Fluff Pistols, nor my ability to exist without the cosmetic industry's validation, makes me a Bitch.

[Good. I agree.]

I see bitchdom as a complete package. I take being called a Bitch as a compliment. I have worked thirty-five long, hard years to stay this way and I thank you for fucking noticing.

[Do you usually get so worked up over fluff?]

One Liner:
I believe that a person should think twice before opening their mouths, not to avoid hurting another's feelings, but rather to avoid making my head hurt with your fucking ignorance.

[You LIKE having your brains packed with fluff!]



Name: Sonia

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I love sex. I would like to be a street whore, because i like too much to be fucked. I don't want a man, i will have many men only to be fucked.I like to be sawn.

[Sawn? In half?]

One Liner:
whore sex crazy bisexual piercing

[Stick that in your search engine and smoke it!]



Name: JoJo

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Lets see why I'm a heartless bitch.. I dont care about anything or anyone.. I have a boyfriend and bestfriends, they say i treat them like "shit" and im "heartless".. too bad i could care less what they think or say. i just asked my mom if she thought i was one.. she said "total dis-regard about anyone but myself" hahahaha.. Lets see what you think..

[I think you'll grow out of puberty someday.]

One Liner:
Im a bitch 24-7 basicly

[Basically, you're a moron.]



Name: Julia

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
All my hasbends are died,
fuck you @ fuck your fucking site

[Shit, WE didn't kill them.]

One Liner:
Fire Horse

[Now that's just cryptic. I'll have to decipher it.]



Name: Shari

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I own a broom and know how to use it

[She can sweep the floor like nobody's business.]

...I don't use the phrase "talk to the hand", I merely use my hand to slap the shit out of the offending whiner or asshole

[I thought you were the BroomMaster.]

One Liner:
don't take life so seriously....no one gets out alive

[Yeah, ha ha ha. Whoooo. I have to dry my eyes from that one. I haven't heard it before...TODAY.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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