Dec 28, 2009
Dec 21, 2009
Dec 14, 2009
Dec 07, 2009
Nov 30, 2009
July 27 2009
April 27 2009
May 26 2008
May 19, 2008
Sep 4, 2005
Aug 2, 2005
Nov 2, 2004
Oct 23, 2004
Oct 15, 2004
Oct 3, 2004
Sep 22, 2004
Aug 24, 2004
Jul 31, 2004
Jul 4, 2004
Jun 20, 2004
Jun 13, 2004
Jun 6, 2004
May 23, 2004
May 2, 2004
Apr 25, 2004
Apr 11, 2004
Apr 4, 2004
Mar 28, 2004
Mar 21, 2004
Mar 14, 2004
Mar 7, 2004
Feb 29, 2004
Feb 15, 2004
Feb 8, 2004
Jan 31, 2004
Jan 18, 2004
Jan 4, 2004
Dec 28, 2003
Dec 14, 2003
Dec 7, 2003
Nov 30, 2003
Nov 23, 2003
Nov 16, 2003
Nov 9, 2003
Nov 2, 2003
Oct 26, 2003
Oct 19, 2003
Oct 12, 2003
Oct 5, 2003
Sept 28, 2003
Sept 21, 2003
Sept 14, 2003
Sept 7, 2003
August 31, 2003
August 24, 2003
August 17, 2003
August 10, 2003
August 3, 2003
July 27, 2003
July 20, 2003
July 13, 2003
July 06, 2003
June 29, 2003
June 22, 2003
June 15, 2003
June 8, 2003
June 1, 2003
May 25, 2003
May 18, 2003
May 11, 2003
May 4, 2003
Apr 27, 2003
Apr 20, 2003
Apr 1, 2003
Mar 16, 2003
Mar 09, 2003
Mar 02, 2003
Feb 23, 2003
Feb 16, 2003
Feb 9, 2003
Feb 2, 2003
Jan 26, 2003
Jan 19, 2003
Jan 12, 2003
Jan 5, 2003
Dec 29, 2002
Dec 22, 2002
Dec 15, 2002
Dec 8, 2002
Dec 1, 2002
Nov 24, 2002
Nov 17, 2002
Nov 10, 2002
Nov 3, 2002
Oct 27, 2002
Oct 20, 2002
Oct 13, 2002
Oct 6, 2002
Sep 29, 2002
Sep 22, 2002
Sep 15, 2002
Sep 8, 2002
Sep 1, 2002
Aug 25, 2002
Aug 18, 2002
Aug 11, 2002
Aug 4, 2002
Jul 28, 2002
Jul 21, 2002
Jul 14, 2002
Jul 7, 2002
Jun 30, 2002
Jun 23, 2002
Jun 16, 2002
Jun 9, 2002
Jun 2, 2002
May 26, 2002
May 19, 2002
May 12, 2002
May 5, 2002
Apr 28, 2002
Apr 21, 2002
Apr 14, 2002
Apr 7, 2002
Mar 31, 2002
Mar 24, 2002
Mar 17, 2002
Mar 10, 2002
Mar 3, 2002
Feb 24, 2002
Feb 17, 2002
Feb 10, 2002
Feb 3, 2002
Jan 27, 2002
Jan 20, 2002
Jan 13, 2002
Jan 6, 2002
1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 7, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Victoria

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I tell it like it is, even though people are sometimes wounded because of what I say. Screw sugarcoating shit--like if I don't like my boyfriend's *hideous* blankie his mommy made him and won't allow it on the bed, too frigging bad.

[You're making it sound like this is some security blanket, but I have to wonder if his mother isn't a quilter. Like it's a challenge to hurt someone's feelings.]

It's ugly. Get over it. I'm not afraid to tell someone they're fat or having a bad hair day if they ask.

[You're not afraid to be trite or cliche, either.]

I'm not afraid to hurt people's feelings for the sake of honesty.

[One day you're going to get a tall glass of your own medicine. Or an ass whipping. Same difference.]

I've also had vindictive plans for snobby schoolmates...you don't even want to know!

[Right in one.]

And I'm certainly good at taking control of my man--and my own life.

[Who'd want a man that you could control? Careful. Sometimes they fool you with that "control" and you'll come home to him fucking your best friend--or his.]

One Liner:
I know what I want, and I'll get it no matter who gets hurt!

[I just hope you're not the crying type when someone with the same attitude hurts you to get what they want.]



Name: Shannon

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't listen to whiners. I don't listen to the ones who don't know me try to put me down for any reason. I give tough love. If a friend breaks a promise, I don't forgive him/her, I berate him/her until they do something to make it up to me.

[Ah, so you can be bribed.]

I will bite your head off if you irritate me in the slightest. If I don't like you, I'll tell you, and most likely everyone in earshot.

[What's the incentive in it for them to continue your friendship, if you'll try to embarrass them in public with some imagined insult?]

One friend of mine was consistantly late for get-togethers, and made the rest of us wait on him, when he knew of the plans for weeks in advance.

[If you knew that he's always late, why would you leave him in charge of the arrangements? Sounds pretty stupid, to me.]

The last straw was for the premiere showing of the Matrix: Reloaded, which was at 10pm the night before the release date. He decided to be late, and he had our tickets.

[He did you a favor, really. (Any mail sent to me in defense of that turkey will be promptly disposed of, unless, of course, you say something so idiotic that it's worth sharing.)]

I then called him on his cell, and said something to the effect of: "Okay, listen up you goddamned piece of shit! We are sick and fucking tired of you coming in late and expecting everything to wait and bend to your lazy-ass schedule.

[You didn't add, "We were pretty stupid for not getting the tickets from you in advance so we wouldn't have to wait for you"?]

No, we will not wait for a later showing. We want to see this one. We're going to get tickets, because your ass is lucky that there are still some available,

[Pfft. That should have told you something right there. An advance showing of something as anticipated as the Matrix should have sold out by that morning.]

we are going to see this showing, and you can see it on your own motherfucking time. And, when I come out of this theater, you had better be waiting out the door with a sorry fucking look on your face and a cash refund for everyone who paid you for a ticket.

[Fair enough. I'd have withheld a stupidity surcharge, however.]

If you don't, I will hunt you down like a rabid fucking dog and proceed to kick your ass. Do you understand me?!?!"

[Oh, get real. Like you were really going to kick his ass. Don't make empty threats.]

That night, he was standing outside the theater after the show, tickets in hand, looking scared as all hell. He was never late again.

[Is he dead now? Don't you mean, "He has never been late since"?]

One Liner:
Please go away. The endless void that is your stupidity is about to suck in the last threads of my tolerance.

[No, that was the Matrix.]



Name: Megan

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i bitch at people for whatever the say, i say what comes to mind and if its about a person i tell them even if its bad or good.

[Sounds like your mouth needs a clutch. Always engage your brain before you start talking.]

One Liner:
the closes thing you'll get to pussy is your boyfriends ass hole.

[That's not even close to pussy at all. Shouldn't this be your mama, or something? It would keep well with your incest theme.]

the closes thing you'll get to dick is your daddys finger

[Call me when you graduate from the playground.]



Name: Valerie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have mastered the art of getting free drinks, especially from ugly guys that I know I can use.

[As if it requires talent to get a drink from an ugly guy. The question is why you feel that thirsty.]

I have been screwed over so many time by men, that I think I'm turning into one of them.

[You sprung a dick? That would be handy.]

I don't believe anything anyone of the male species has to say. No matter who they are.

[What if it's "Hey, baby, lemme buy ya a drink"?]

People who are in relationships make me want to vomit.

[The green is for ENVY, not nausea.]

If another girl tells me how great/awful her boyfriend is, I'm going to punch her in the head.

[It's not easy being green.]

When an ugly guy asks me for my number, I don't decline politely, but rather make it blantantly apparent that he is not good enough for me.

[Unless he plies you with drinks. "Oh, DRUNKY."]

In general, I am a very bitter and tortured soul.

[Obviously. You're out of your depth here.]

One Liner:
I've lost all faith in humanity. I wouldn't really care if everyone died and I was the last person on Earth left to sit here and stew over my own thoughts and bitterness.

[Wah, wah, wah. All you need is a man to turn you around.]



Name: Jen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I think that "bitch" or "non-bitch" terms are directly related to how much time you have. Being nice takes an extra 30 seconds that most often is just too long to wait. Bitch example: "SHUTTHEFUCKUPI'MBUSY." Nice example: "Please excuse me, but I am currently involved with something important."

[You're just an idiot. You could simply say that you'll get back to them. Quick, easy, and efficient.]

Therefore in todays hurry-up world, being nice is not a good time saver.

[When you're an idiot, there's always time to do it over. OR again. Or listen to various coachings about how you could have done it right in the first place.]

One Liner:
"I think, therefore I am." Not original but a good line anyway.

[But what ARE you? Chorus: "An idiot."]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Home
Search HBI
HBI FAQ
   Rants
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Links
    I'M NOT BITTER...
   Auntie Dote
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Privacy Policy
   Awards
   HBI Sitings

---

Want to link to HBI?



  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)


Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site