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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 25, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: petitemignon

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i fucking say so !!
and if that aint a good enough reason TOUGH TITTIES !!

[Tough titties it is, then.]

One Liner:
Those that matter don't mind, Those that mind , can go screw themselves !

[Whatever helps you sleep at night.]



Name: William

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I want to know why all the heartless bitches are so heartless so I can warm them up a little bit or maybe alot !!!!!!

[Just seeing this kind of response from an idiot such as yourself has kept me warm enough from all my chuckling. Thanks, anyway.]

One Liner:
a true man???

[Are you buying or selling?]



Name: Jourdan

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well, goddammit. You asked 4 it. Here it comes.

[Like it or not.]

I'm a HB because I grew up around a lot of men,

[Check.]

boyz

[Check, check.]

and pedophiles

[What?]

that tried to push me around, break me down and ruin my disposition

[That was ruined before they got to you.]

and I of course, with all my "bitchiness" as you might call it was apted to kick each and everyone of them in their sappy balls.

[Pedophiles have sappy balls?]

Get it? Well, if ya don't you will. I HATE bubbly little princess "Daddy's Girl's", wimpy men and men with too much of a sappy romantic attidtude. My bitch qualities? Well, first, I have no boyfriend, all of them were either too limp below the waist of too thick in the head.

[...nah. Too easy. It's no fun when the target's this big.]

OR to my displeasure too DAMN NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Secondly, I get up every morning on edge, go to work and just wait for somebody to say the wrong thing to me so I can open my unforgiving heart up to them and crush them like the maggots they are. I believe I am THE Heartless Bitch.

[What does opening up your heart have to do with it? Nevermind, I'm still reeling from "pedophiles" and "Daddy's Girls" in the same application without any real connection.]

One Liner:
well, I have no soul, I'm probably going to hell and if man approaches me in the wrong way, I liable to cut his balls off. Truthfullu.

[You couldn't even bring yourself to spell truthfully in connection with this big lie.]



Name: Jacqui

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm tired of men/women saying "I cant help it, its just the way I am" as an excuse for their personality and character flaws. I guess some how that statement makes it alright to be a slack ass wanna be. Well how's it workin for you? Are you getting what you need? Quit whining and get off your ass do something. Quit waiting around for someone to rescue or baby you.

[Then she says:]

One Liner:
I'll be your friend one minute, stab you in the back the next, cry because I hurt you and then get annoyed because you ruined my whole freakin day.

[This application brought to you by Dr. Hopeful and Miss Asinine.]



Name: AMANDA

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because It's the one name that really seemed to stick- over the year's.

[The year's what?]

I have single-handedly rid my boyfriend's party house- of The Idiot's,-out- The Liar's,-out- The Thieves,-out- The Druggie's,-out-The whispering, giggly, 2-faced back-stabber's,-out- The Vagrant's- who used to reside on the couch,-out- I was the one -Who Had A public auction -of somebody's stuff- because he ended up being a Thief.

[Why would you want a boyfriend who can't handle his own business?]

(the auction- actually went like this, though: Who Want's This? first hand to go up- took it. free. while the Thief sat idly by, and watched. First complaint- outta his mouth- resulted in a injury, much to the same severitry of the voice tone.)

[Is that anything like a dial tone? Why wouldn't you return the stolen stuff to the person it belonged to in the first place? All you did was redistribute stolen goods to the people you felt were more deserving than him. Mob mentality.]

(by the way- did I mention -that I love my job?)

[You get paid to mind other people's business? Who are you, Rona Barrett?]

I am considered "Anti-Social"- because of-well, my apparent inability to get along with the fake-ass smiler's- of the world.

[I.E. Normal folks. How do you get along with apostrophes?]

I Can't Stand people- Claiming- they're "Alway's Happy"- because well--THEY LIE. iT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE AN "ALL AROUND HAPPY LIFE"- WHEN YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY INCOMPETENCE. IF YOU DO BELIEVE YOU STILL LIVE ONLY BEING HAPPY- THEN YOU'RE EITHER FAKING IT, OR YOU'RE HELEN KELLER.

[OR...here's news for you...they refuse to allow that shit to bring them down. Maybe they don't have the time to worry about the incompetence of others. For example, I could get bent out of shape because your letter is just plain fucking stupid, but instead I chose to be humored by it.]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE HAVE MOUTH'S- IF THEY DON'T SPEAK THE TRUTH- AT ALL TIME'S.

[I wish more people were honest, too. Then again, how happy are you to hear my truth about your application?]

I AM WITHOUT A DOUBT- THE MOST BRUTALLY HONEST INDIVIDUAL- THAT I KNOW..and that make's me -SICK. I AM NOT A VIOLENT PERSON, BUT ALOT OF SHIT PISSES ME OFF, & I WILL NOT HESITATE TO ALLOW AN IDIOT TO HANG THEMSELVES,WITH THEIR OWN ROPE. MEANING, SHOULD THE NEED FOR VIOLENCE -SEEM BEFITTING IN A SITUATION- THEN -SWING FIRST. SEE WHAT HAPPEN'S. I Ordinarilly Strive to Do GOOD DEED's -and hold a Generally Positive Attitude, But- I Get Pissed -Really Quickly. Seemingly More, and More- these day's.

[Get more rope.]

Call me Weak for trying to be nice- if you want to, It Really Does'nt make any difference to me. I treat Everybody- Even my Man- The Same.
No Exception's.
Everybody Get's The Same Rule's with me.
You Either Use Your Common-Sense- Or You Go Away.

[Do you realize that you sound just like Gollum with all of these extra apostrophes? "Me wantses it, yes, precious. He hases it, doesn't he? Everybody getses the same ruleses with me. Nassty, stupid applicantses."]

I'll Kick You Out Of Your Own Private Conversation- If I Hear You Beg Somebody For Forgiveness. You Should NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO ANYBODY- UNLESS YOU HURT A CHILD- OR DISRESPECTED YOUR ELDERS.

[You shouldn't put yourself in a position where you need to apologize, but this is a part of owning up to your mistakes.]

END OF DISCUSSION.

[Hallelujah!]

One Liner:
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE IT. DEAL WITH IT.

[Yeah, yeah, yeah.]



Name: Lisa

Email : imabitchalso@ [whatever].com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
"We don't discriminate against stupidity, arrogance, irresponsibility, bloated egos, or immaturity on the basis of gender":

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T, OTHERWISE YOU'D BE GOING AGAINST YOURSELVES! YOU GALS ARE FOOLISH.

[I'll remember that you said that WE are the foolish ones.]

I'm a bitch because I'm telling on another bitch that stole your graphics. The URL is http://www.bitterbarrenspinsters.com/

[Well, aren't you the little signifier. Start shit on your own time. She got her graphic in the same place that we found that one.]

Talk about some bitter bitches that IS NOT what heartless-bitches is all about.

[No, she does her own site, and we do ours. She's not claiming to be one of us, but she'd be a helluva lot more welcome than little trolls like you, which isn't saying much at all.]

Sorry, but I could give a shit if I was one of your members, go a head and rip me! But please, you have a beautiful site,

[Oh, how touching how much you care about our site.]

protect your images otherwise you are just as stupid as the wannabes you rip.

[I wonder what the BBS did to piss in your cornflakes. This is the most demented way to pick a fight since little kids found out that they could go crying to their big brothers or sisters.]

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR WEBSITE!!

[Believe me, pissant, there will never be a day when we'd need assistance like yours.]

If you are going to exploit yourselves on what tough, dykie, can't get a man lives you lead, then at least show that you can have control of your can't get a life

[How do you know that we didn't SELL that image to them, anyway?]

DOMAIN. Also, could you put a picture of yourself up on your Website,

[Run out of jack-off material?]

I can almost bet that you are either ugly, fat as a hog, skinny as an anorexic or all dressed in black.

[Pfft. What a brave gambler you are. You've taken the whole range. You're betting that we're both fat AND skinny?]

If any of you were in control of your lives, you wouldn't need a website to prove it. Stop it already and get a real life. Take life day by day and quit trying to maintain a bad reputation.

[Why do you feel so compelled to control OUR lives?]

High maintenance falls into the same category as STUPID!, Can't do it on your own and OUT OF CONTROL. Please, quit embarrassing yourselves.

[I'm not the ass here.]

One Liner:
Quit Embarrassing yourself!

[It must be easy to say this when you feel no shame.]



From: Dud

Subject: love the site

howudoing ...sorry if iam not being winney or bitchy its just that i really like your site but iam a man ...and this site is for bitches

[...who are literate, to say the least.]

...sorry for my obvious stupidy but cant help but writing in as i just got

[I thought that you said that you were SORRY for your stupidity.]

dumped and been pretty alone ...and havent felt ready to try be involved with anyone else for aleast month or so....really ive been working to much and nobody has time for me cause iam such a hatefull ass hole .....back to

[Have you considered desperate phone sex and much masturbation?]

the reason iam writing iam alone and got alot of free time well really only alittle free time ....so anyway GREAT site and wanted to no can man

[Which is it, Dud? Too much work, or not enough. Maybe you're alone because you're an idiot?]

get as mabe honary bitch ....i was once in treatment and the women made me

[Don't make too much of what people who are in treatment with you say to you.]

a honary bitch ..they were very open minded tho ...anyway iam interested in being a heartless bitch

[I'm pretty invested in keeping you away from me.]



From: Edgar

Subject: Re: Vagina Envy

Natalie
When I visited HBI today I was MORTIFIED when I saw parts of my email to

[You can't possibly be a fan if you didn't expect it.]

you posted on the "weak of the week". Ma'am I read and fully understand that all email becomes your property to do with what you like. I never expected that to be posted for the whole world to see. My goodness what if

[Swoon and clutch the pearls. Go menstruate egg yolks, Eddie.]

someone recognizes that as me? Thank You for not posting my email address

[Keep writing this crap, and we won't be so kind.]

at least. Ma'am is there some way we can have that removed? How long is it posted before it is automaticly removed?

[Check the archives, Edgar. NOTHING IS EVER REMOVED. Such is the price of stupidity.]

I'm worried sick

[Well, I'm worried BECAUSE you're sick.]







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