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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 18, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: JadeSyren

[Funny. I don't remember submitting this one. Let's see how I did.]

Email : JadeSyrenBitchBouncer@Bitches.com

[Hmm. I don't seem to know my own address. Maybe I was smoking crack.]

UserID : JadeSyren

[Good thinking. They'll NEVER crack that one.]

URL : www.heartless-bitches.com

[Not that much crack, I guess.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I resign as the Bitch Bouncer.

[Oh no! I quit? Why didn't I TELL me?]

I've finally realized that I am not a Heartless Bitch and never was.

[Gosh, I must have a concussion or severe head trauma.]

This was all an act. This is not the real me. I am really a housewife from Fairbanks, Alaska

[Hey! How'd you know where I lived? Oh, that's because it's me.]

who is granted internet access in exchange of getting fucked up the ass by my husband and adult

[I do all that for only $15 a month? I'd hoped I would charge more for anal access.]

sons, because I am an unbelievable slut and becuase I love it!

[Then why wouldn't I do that for free? Beetle-headed.]

And my boys love it, too! Tomorrow I will be checking into the hospital for a torn rectum (again), but it's all worth it!

[Rectum? Damn near killed him.]

Because as I have mentioned, I am an unbelievable slut and a failure as a Heartless Bitch. I don't deserve it and I'm quitting.

[I am wondering who could possibly be harboring this kind of animosity.]

One Liner:
Oh yes son, yes! Harder! Faster! Hurt mommy, sweetie!!!!!! Hurt MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[You'd like to hurt me, wouldn't you?]



Name: Rapist#1

[Same loser, different tactic.]

Email : rapist@therapist.com

UserID : pedo

URL : www.nakedlittlegirls.com

[You've got a thing for incest.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I rape little girls! I rape little girls! I rape little girls! I rape little girls! I rape little girls! I rape little girls! rape little girls! I rape little girls! I rape little girls!

[I wonder if I should turn your IP over to the FBI. Your anonymiser isn't as good as you think.]

One Liner:
OIL!

[More likely sperm.]



Name: Anonymous

Email : anonymous@anonymous.com

UserID : I.B.

URL : www.anonymous.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Hey girl ain't no mistery
At least as far as I can see
I wanna keep you here layin' next to me

[Is that what's it's about? You want a date?]

Sharing our love, between the sheets
Ooh baby, I feel your love surrounding me

[That's just my hands around your neck. Pay it no mind, and it will be over as quickly as you came.]

Oh oh oh oh ooh baby, making love between the sheets

[You are NOT the Isley Brothers, kiddo.]

One Liner:
Fuck me! fuck me! fuck me! Harder! Harder! Harder! Fuck me! Spank me! Fuck me!

[This isn't in the song, either.]



Name: chrissy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
B/C i never keep a guy for more than two months.

[Not without refrigeration--they'd spoil.]

Three Boyfriends ended up gay.

[They were gay before you started. Trust me.]

And after reading Manipulator Files, I am now dumping my recent one.

[You should probably consider killing...er, COMMITTING yourself. Sometimes it ain't THEM, girlie.]

One Liner:
Its my way or the Highway

[You did say that they "turned" gay. You can't get any more "Highway" than that.]



Name: Jennifer

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I cheated on my Ex-husband on his birthday with his best friend because his friend was sooo much better

[How'd you know that before you did it?]

One Liner:
never alone

[You have all those personalities to keep you company.]



Name: monique

URL : i dont think i have one?

[You'd better check into that. Why, if you had one and you didn't know it, that could be detrimental.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[I don't know if I can take listening to any reasons from someone who doesn't know if she has an URL or not.]

well ever since i was born i was a BITCH !!! ignorant, stupid people annoy me! people who dont know what the fuck their talking about make the bitch come out in me!some times too many bitches annoy me to. So im a heartless bitch because i just dont fucking care anymore! oh fucking well!!!!

[I wonder if you know what irony is.]

One Liner:
fuck im not very talented, i can barely make complete thoughts with out getting pissed right now so fuck it!

[Do you reckon that you could make complete thoughts when you're not pissed? I wouldn't bet on that.]



Name: Nivasi

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My 17yr old son informs me his gf (19)is pregnant, the first thing that pops out of my mouth.. "when is she getting an abortion?"

[At least it isn't, "Is it yours?" or "Is it HERS?" I guess it's better to contain your particular genetic anomaly, but you should go on ahead and fix him so he won't keep on replicating.]

One Liner:
Bitch from Birth

[Dumbass by design.]



Name: Holly

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because, when I broke up with my ex I told him he was a good for nothing asshole who never even gave me flowers. Then he sent me flowers and I refused them two days later.

[I would have thought that you could get your own flowers, anyway.]

I have no problem blue balling a guy for pissing me off.

[Sex as a weapon: the last refuge of the ninny.]

I'm a heartless bitch because my ex had a watch of mine from Hong Kong and I showed up with the sheriff's department to get it back when he lied and said he sold it.

[All that for a watch from Taiwan? Is this the guy who sent you flowers? Wouldn't you have been better off asking for that watch? Other than that, this is what you're SUPPOSED to do when someone has your property and won't return it.]

I'm a heartless bitch because I made a customer cry because she was too fat in the pants she was trying on, then they split down the middle, and I made her buy them.

[You'd have had a tough time convincing me that it wasn't just shoddy manufacturing. I'm sure that she just brought them back for a refund when you weren't on duty.]

One Liner:
I don't give a fuck if a guy wants sex, he just better want it when I want it.

[It's all about you, primadonna.]



Name: tammy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
after 23 years of BLISS(puke) I finally grew some gonads.

[You little freak of nature, you.]

packed up and got the hell out of dodge.Im a Heartless bitch extrodinare. I planned it folks.took me 6 months...but i did it!!! Im a HEARTLESS Bitch becouse I didn't give him a chance(Like ALLTHE HUNDRED OTHER TIMES)to manipulate me back into submission...IM IN CONTOL>>>And this also makes me a HEARTLESS BITCH>>>GOD, I wear the name HEARTLESS with such PRIDE!!!

[Congratulations. Come back when you've done more than survive.]

One Liner:
If you send me ONE MORE OF YOUR EMOTINALLY MANINPULATIVE EMAILS..

[You'll block his address? Come on, surprise me!]

YOU PASSIVE AGRESSIVE FREAK...ALL YOUR SO CALLED FRIENDs AND FANS WILL SEE ALL THE BRAG EMAILS YOU SENT TO YOUR OWN WEBSITE>>>I HAVE THE DISK TO PROVE IT!!!!!!!(Is this HEATLESS ENOUGH)....

[No. You moved out, but you're still playing his drama game.]

~~~This was the last email I sent back to my soon to be ex....psssst...IT WORKED!!!!!

[Until the next episode.]



Name: Tiffany

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a heartless bitch, because i sometimes tell my brother's girlfriends that he is cheating on them, etc., until they finally break up, and then i laugh about it.i also cut off barbie and ken dolls` heads and put them into blenders.i make voodoo dolls of my ex's and stick little pins in them, along with butcher knives, etc.. i would also like to castrate all males and then put their dicks in blenders and make them drink them(aren't i nice?).

[I'm wondering if applicants like you are making bets to see what application is crazy enough to make it here.]

it disgusts me to see"cute couples"in a mall or movie theatre,etc..valentine's day is a really fucked up holiday!i think all those happy couples should just get a room and fuck themselves.i have taken a vow of celibasy.no male will ever have the priviledge of being loved by me.that is why everyone i know, at some point or other, has called me a heartless bitch.

[Crazy bitch, more like.]

One Liner:
i hate all these fucked up little couples who are "madly in love". screw all of them!i hope they burn in hell!

[Well, why don't you go play with your Voodoo Barbie and Ken Dolls since you refuse to grow up?]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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