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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 11, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Frenzal

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
6 babies, no dad.

[This is a new brand of credential.]

I raise um, tend um myself.

[6 kids and one parent? They're raising themselves.]

I refuse to be a grown mans mother, I expect intellectual challenge without them feeling threatened. If I am bested, I laugh.....If they are bested, they sulk....WTF is with that.

[Why didn't you refuse to have children with men who wouldn't make good fathers?]

One Liner:
The day the fool calls me mum,
Thats the day we become undone.

[I don't see why this is a big problem. Sure, I see how being seen as a mother figure is a problem, but how many guys call their fucks "Mum"?]



Name: littledenver

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I find it absolutely hillarious that I can out-drive any man, being an ex-race car driver, (I even beat them at the go-cart track), and the fact that I'm always asked what year a muscle car is, because they don't know.

[You think that you're breaking new ground because you know cars?]

I'm an automobile historian of 18 years. I'm only 33. I scare men, but I still love them. It's fun to watch them squirm when I butt in about engine sizes.

[Okay, so you know cars. Can you stop talking about men when you apply?]

Don't get me started...vrrrooommm...

Test me if you want!!!

[You were tested. You failed.]

By the way, I have absolutely NO PROBLEMS with my looks.*smile**

[This has even less to do with it. It's good to know that you're habitually off topic.]

One Liner: "Baby? Are you cold or just imitating your brother?" (sneer smile)

% [Shouldn't this have been a car joke? "Baby? Are you built small or just the compact model?" Something like that. Besides, maybe his brother is hung.]



Name: deniz

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
if its been asked to me somehow first of all i cant think bout anything..

[You're really in the wrong place for that.]

1- cuz when someone waits for me to make sense and have reasonable answers that makes me feel intense but i guess why it goes that way (its actually what u really wanna learn)i dont have to be someone who fits their opinions and expectations from others,if it comes to bein myself that would make them intense this time...heart isnt just a bullshit full of fragile positive feelings..it got my big strong gut which's never gonna get whole control of that body,thats all.

[I have no idea what you've said, much less what you mean. However, this application is a big DON'T.]

2-(this's a bit dummy but makes sense again) if i can smoke under 'dont smoke' line im feelin not like oh hey im breakin the rules just feelin that happiness how cool to have a relation with rules and me it quite feels this is me that i want and what they really really wanna see,thats better.

[Ahh, I see. It's that smoking of yours. Don't type stoned.]

One Liner:
its alyways nice to see you didn't look back!

[This is a first. I was perplexed throughout the whole application, and I have no earthly idea what he was saying or even trying to say.]



Name: Hannelie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

One Liner:
crazy mother fucker

[I'd have to be to accept this. It's neat how she followed one above her, isn't it?]



Name: Your Momma

[Mom? Are you applying again?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I dont take no crap i have kicked a man in the balls for askin me out when he knew i was married and i have got no friends i just hate people cos they are so stupid

[I don't know whose momma you are, but this doesn't read like MY mom at all.]

One Liner:
Stop tryin to shoot me whore you are the one doing the shootin...UP

[Yuk yuk. Oh, you're just too funny.]



Name: yesenia

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i have to go to fucken gigs and get bothered by dumb sick drunk bastereds, who feel like just cause thier "hard core" they can try to fuck me!

[You don't really have to go, you happen to go.]

because no matter how much i tell those stupid airheads to shut the fuck up and let me be who i want to be, they still go talking their shit.

[Well, that's the price of freedom. You want to be who you want to be, and you're going to have to allow them to be who they want to be. Talking shit isn't going to hurt you.]

because i have a fucken voice and an opinion, and i dont give a shit who i annoy because of it.

[Neither do they.]

One Liner:
loud opinionated BITCH!

[If bitch suddenly meant crybaby.]



Name: Heather

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Since I can't stand simpering ninny cheating brats..I decided to expose certain information privy only to myself and one other in an online chat room when both girls were in there. Back

[Nice to know that you're trustworthy.]

stabbing and fakeness makes me about as sick as implants and Cher. Turns out one of the girls had slept with her "Best Friend's" boyfriend. After I exposed her, the girls got into a fight and are now distant bitter enemies. Well..they had it coming..cheaters and liars belong in the lowest circle of hell..so that is exactly where I put them. Oh..I also have a long list of interesting 'first date' stories..complete with nicknames..ie..

[But this is a chatpit fight. I cannot tell you just how uninteresting some chat room fight is. This kind of behavior is almost the standard fare in one of those places.]

one.. "Dr. Drunk"-- alcoholic doctor spends most of his time in the bar obsessing over a married woman..but buys martini's like water for anything with tits. I enjoyed the martinis and playing 'dr' in his car..complete with dr's official coat..UNTIL he got weird and accused me of wanting to be 'too close' and that he wasn't ready..Stupid bastard assumed that I wanted or needed something besides a prescription from his drunk ass...to be dumped when you aren't even dating sucks..but my revenge came when he got permanently kicked out of the bar after harrassing one too many women

[You were dating him for drugs?]

or 'Mr. Martini' -- met at one of those pretentious yuppie clubs that my friend dragged me into..no I did NOT look and talk exactly like all the other 'banana republic bitches' there..but I picked up a guy anyways..older..owned his own failing medical sales business...the first date..he was 45min late..(ok, because I was 30 min late..) everything was going fine until he slipped (when talking about how 'liberal' he was)..and said..'yeah, and I think that the age of consent law is total bullshit."...hmm..interesting..turns out he was busted when he was 21..for screwing a 15 yr old..and he maintained (although in his mid-40's at this point) that 'If there is grass on the playing field, play ball!'
Of course I wretched..and left soon afterwards..however not before I got a good laugh..apparently he parked his trendy 'scooter' in some soft asphault.while in the bar making a total ass of himself the scooter had sunk/sank into it and had fallen over..damaging it.. definitely a nice finish to a horrible date!

[Yes, he does sound like a total creep. What does this have to do with being a Heartless Bitch?]

In short..I dont hang around many women..they are weak..catty..jealous and fake..I only like strong women..opinionated..intelligent..and who don't hang up their friends as soon as they get a boyfriend.. I am a virgo..I don't put up with shit like that. Ask me and I shall tell you. P.s. My handle is [I start shit] on AIM if you care to bitch..

[I'd sooner suck lint, which is practically what I'd be doing, anyway.]

P.s.s. If my email addy gets sold by you guys for spam or other shit I will shut your site down faster than you can say 'Sex and the City Sucks'

[Whatever. I can't see where the content of your message is any more filling or real than SPAM.]

One Liner:
I am VIRGO ... hear me RULE. (or at least bitch about the way YOU are doing it).

[That's one thing that Virgo IS good at--complaining. Nitpicking. NAGGING.]



Name: The Lantern Nut

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a bitch because I'm not a sheep. I have a brain and I use it, and I don't let anyone wash it.

[That's a funny way to put it.]

I read a lot and I love to paint -knowledge and self-expression are very important to me. I hate ignorance. At school I used to get a lot of shit from other students for always speaking my mind in class and refusing to be a sheep. They bitched and moaned, and said that I was a teachers' pet and up my own ass and blablabla. I'm not up my own ass -if they are worth it , I DO care for

[I'd complain because you were wasting class time with this bullshit.]

others. I also criticized teachers when they sucked (e.g when they were prejudiced). I JUST HAVE A FUCKING POINT OF VIEW -and that's what bothered those idiots. Most kids at my school were so lazy, stupid and ignorant (e.g. one bimbo asked "What's literature anyway?", and noone was surprided!! AAArrrggghhh!!!!!), that finally I was completely fed up with all those spoilt princesses and stupid pricks, left the school and took up distance learning. And yes, I study for 5 hours each day, and I get good grades.

[By distance learning, do you mean home-schooling, or the Sally Struthers Institute?]

My childhood sucked, and I do have problems -but I fight, I don't whine. I'm left wing, but not a "bleeding heart". I don't discriminate against unemployed people in general -it may happen to anyone, even the heartlessest of bitches. However I have no pity for people who suck at school or can't keep a job because of SHEER LAZINESS, and then go "Whine whine whine, I can't pay my huge mobile phone bill, whine whine whine whine." I'm a metal bitch. I like Opeth, Arch Enemy and Children Of Bodom. And also My Ruin -Miss B, the growler, is very honest and 101% bitch, and that's why I admire her. You know those cute, innocent litte "female vocals" some bands (e.g Cradle of Filth) decorate their songs with? To be honest, they kind of annoy me.

[You know how people pad their application with this kind of junk? It kind of annoys me.]

I practice my growl daily, and I'm also going to take singing lessons to strengthen my voice. I've got things to say, and if I' m going to be in a band one day, I'll write honest, angry lyrics and growl like a motherfucker.

[How nice for you.]

I also accept my chubby figure -I mean, I'm only SLIGHTLY overweight, not obese; I'm still able to MOVE and I don't need two plane seats (I'm not that damn fat!!),

[But what does that mean? You come off sounding as if you're going to say something about weight and prejudice, but it sounds like you have some issues of your own.]

I walk a lot, I even do some weight-lifting, I'm generally healthy. SO FUCK WHAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA SAYS -I'M NOT GOING ON A DAMN DIET!!!

[Eventually, you WILL need that second seat. I imagine your stance on weight and diets would change at that point.]

Sure, I enjoy eating -but I have a life, and there are many things beside eating that I love to do. PS: English is my 4th language and I haven't finished learning it yet -so please don't mind the mistakes.

[The mistakes aren't in the language.]

One Liner:
"Female vocals"? Here's your female vocals -RRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! *GROWLS LIKE A BITCH*

[Is metal just now arriving in your country?]



Name: Sandy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Let's see...I call my X on the phone daily to tell him how fat he is and he has no penis,

[Let's see. He's fat, he's got no dick, and you call him DAILY?]

I enjoy looking great only to crush stupid male egos and more so crushing little whoring cunts that think they are the shit, I frequently respond to people that call me a bitch with: "You are wrong....I WOULD be a Bitch, If i could be a bit NICER"

[...SMARTER.]

One Liner:
I would be a bitch, if i could be a bit nicer!

[Nice isn't necessary. Try for smart. It will serve you when other things can not.]



Name: Za'da L'mour

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I enjoy long walks on the beach, sunflowers, ponies, running in the meadow ... and then the alarm clock sounds and I wake up.

["If you like pina coladas...."]

I love being a mentor to females because so many are so blatantly dumb (usually the ones in my particular age group). Always crying how guys are mistreating them and how they wish this and that and I'm like, dang your dumb. My motto is "Don't waste your life looking for love, waste it on something better.

[Such as: Bashing your friends for being love-struck idiots.]

One Liner:
When I see girls my age (18) and younger impregnated by guys

[As opposed to impregnated by machines, dolphins, or aliens.]

I tend to stare, point, and laugh. Usually in that particular order. NO FUN FOR YOU FOR A FEW YEARS! Those are your wonder years and they are going to spend it wondering how to change a diaper. HAAA!

[I imagine they won't spend years wondering over diapers. The question is how will YOU spend your wonder years. I'd hope it wasn't in congratulating yourself for not being like them, or even worse, spending it minding their business.]



Name: Jen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I use men left and right. And you know what? They fucking deserve it. Those bastards have been using and taking advantage of us for years....so I am turning things around. I am the queen of heart stomping, and I always have at least three men around whom I have wrapped around my finger. I love it!

[It's an illusion of strength when you act from a position of hurt and pain.]

One Liner:
I look like an angel...But men whose hearts I have broken know better

[I suppose they learned the hard way.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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