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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of April 27, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Tamara

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm bitter, bluntly honest, sarcastic and negative. I use sex as a weapon,

[I guess you'd have to when your wit is as sharp as a hammer.]

and I'm very much over romance. I don't put up with shit, and I'm horribly manipulative. Hopefully that's good enough for you all.

[You've given more more than enough reason to reject you.]

One Liner:
I'm a manipulative, brutally honest, bitter slut. You know you want me.

[...to leave.]



Name: Necromancer

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
can't be arsed with detail.too tried. prozac's fault. not mine

[Sure. Blame it on the meds.]

i didnt care wen my sister was upset wen i attempted suicide i wasn't pleased we she "saved" me from the overdose.
that count? psch.

[It counts, sure...it counts AGAINST you.]

One Liner:
we're all going to die, what's wrong with tonight? im dead inside anyway.

[Well, then you grow out of your teen years and wonder how anyone tolerated being around you.]



Name: PattiG

Email : Nothanks@I_don't_want_a_membership.com

[Good. You weren't getting one.]

URL : not one that I care to share with you

[Aren't you proud of your work?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Truly heartless bitches don't care enough about what other people think about them to come up with some colorful story explaining why they are a heartless bitch.

[No, they just remember their own experiences. Looks like what happened here is that you choked, and you're covering it up with this bullshit about how you don't NEED to prove anything.]

Therefore, I have no story to tell because I have nothing to prove.

[No, but it says volumes about you that you see this as a competition to prove yourself instead of an opportunity to share.]

Perhaps it is your voyeuristic tendencies that compel you to have a site such as this where you can lure in ignorant people so that you can post their comments and make fun of them.

[We hope to DISCOURAGE the stupid by making examples of them. Failing that, it's pretty funny, to me, the lengths to which people will go to get attention, even if it's bad. (hint, hint)

Weak minded people should be pitied and sterilzed, not encouraged.

[Why would I sterilize them? Why would I pity them? Neither is useful. I don't want them dead, or removed permanently. I do hope they wise up, however.]

I found the link to your site in someone's signature file in a newsgroup (alt.atheism) and thought I'd investigate. Pity that most of the site is just tripe, but I did find some of the

[You came here to hate. Admit it.]

"Weak of the Week" postings a bit nerve grating enough to comment about the site. And since most sites like this exist to incite some sort of reaction to feed the ego of its creators and patrons, you win the kewpie doll and got a comment from me.

[Despite yourself, you just HAD to get in the mix. And here I was thinking that *I* was a sick puppy.]

Speaking of "Weak of the Week" and the grammatical rules you have posted, I have gone through some postings on the site and found a lot of "your" and "you're" mistakes. You might want to add that one to your grammar-nazi's list.

[Speaking of NAZI, aren't you the one talking about sterilization? Thanks for NOT having the courage to show us where you found the errors.]

I do like the layout of the site. Kudos to your webmaster/mistress, the design is simple and elegant. It's a shame the content couldn't be something more stimulating, informative, and refreshing.

[You mean, like your letter, for example. Here's something we don't get bags of everyday--AIMLESS criticism.]

One Liner:
A truly heartless bitch doesn't have to tout her bitchiness on a website that makes such a quasi-attempt of showing it has the intellectual highground, when it is merely a showcase for just another subset of the dreaded pop culture.

[Put up or shut up, Patsy. Next time, show some contrast. You know, say what you think it IS, instead of what you think it ISN'T. That's a public service announcement for your ass.]



Name: Karen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm sick and tired of men telling me they will marry my if I sleep with them.

[Oh, your coochie ain't THAT good.]

Also sick of the weird ones who try to kiss your mouth when you're driving a car!

[Beats asking you for head at that time, doesn't it?]

Am sick of men looking at my tits when what I want them to notice is my mind!

[Well, I'd like more people to believe in the Tooth Fairy, too.]

Am sick of men who are drug addicts, alcoholics, wimps, etc.

[They just told me that they are sick of whining douchebags.]

One Liner:
You can look at my tits but you'd damn well better appreciate my mind! It works a lot better than yours!

[I've seen your mind. Believe me, your tits have GOT to be better.]



Name: sasha

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i have been married for 20 years and my husban he doesn't know i am a man

[Cue "Crying Game" music. He never gave you a reach-around? He never fucked you in the light? He never noticed that his dick was stinkin' or that his nuts had an echo? I'm supposed to believe that he fucked you in the ass--in the dark--for twenty years? Go tell this to Jerry Springer; his audience might believe you.]

One Liner:
don't tell my husband that his child is his nephew!!!!

[I'm supposed to believe that you faked a pregnancy? Stop wasting my time.]



Name: Veronica

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I think being a Heartless Bitch means taking crap from nobody.

Pathetic, snivelling men are what drive me over the brink of insanity and into the abyss of total Heartless-Bitchiness.

[Anyone's fault but yours.]

I can't stand most of anything anymore, because it's just mindless crap. All those sappy greeting cards make me want to show everyone my lunch. All those idiodic movies make me want to punch someone in the kisser and really let 'em have it.

[STOP WATCHING AND/OR READING THEM.]

I'm a cold-hearted bitch. Is this not heartless enough? Here's an example:

[AAAAAIIIIGGGGHHH!!!]

I go on a two week trip to sunny Florida. I have a great time, I met a guy, and turns out he lives in the same town as me.

[No kidding. You don't think he'd say that just so you'd fuck him, do you?]

So I go back home and tell my boyfriend of eight months that he does not deserve to live, that he is a fuckwit, and I accused him of cheating on me many times. And the new guy? I just had him as a backup excuse, in case my ex decided to stand up to me. So both of the guys I had are now gone, and both are pathetic. Why are they pathetic? They just are. Well, that's about it for me!

[Yeah, you're through.]

Talk to you later (maybe),

[Only if I'm masochistic, or something.]

One Liner:
I'll beat the living shit out of anyone who crosses me, and believe me, you'll look far worse than what you expected, buddy.

[What the hell is "living" shit, anyway?]



Name: EDGAR

[Edgar decided to write a letter and bypass the application process.]

Although I'm a genetic male,

[Pathetic male, maybe.]

I am afflicted with "vagina envy".

[You're just afflicted.]

I share HBI's distaste for girly girls and whiny males.

[But can you feel the gorge rising when you listen to yourself?]

I would love to join the fun on the Bitchboard.

[You're just going to have to settle for BEING the fun right here.]

PLEASE, PLEASE consider my application to become a member.

[It's been considered.]

You can think of me as a male lesbian.

[I'd rather not think of you at all. I'm having the shivering fits right now. Yick.]

Yield To The Princess

[I'm still struggling with "male lesbian," and now you want to be Princess Male Lesbian?]









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