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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of April 1, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Sameon, Demon From Beyond

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Kill Destroy Vanquish Kill Destroy Vanquish Kill Destroy Vanquish
Kill Destroy Annihilate Annihilate; Annihilate Annihilate Annihilate
Annihilate Annihilate
Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead

End of Days End of Days End of Days End of Days End of Days End of Days
End of Time End of Time End of Time End of Time End of Time End of Time
End of Space End of Space End of Space End of Space End of Space End of Space

Pray for God's Wrath
Pray for the Destiny
Pray for Nonexistence
Pray to be No More

[Yeah, no more of this damned application.]

Doesn't Matter
Weak or Strong
Ugly or Pretty
Smart or Dumb

WE
Will
ALL
Be
Food
for
WORMS

[This kid's a Shakespeare.]

One Liner:
;I LOVE TO FUCK DEAD PEOPLE

[Here I was thinking that you were some misunderstood poet.]

Country: Chad

(HeadBitch note: Funny - the IP address is out of Detroit...)

[Yeah, I think I visited Chad, Detroit once.]



Name: Lanea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
It's my way or the highway baby!! I don't care if you're a dweeb at a fast food joint or the head of a corperation you do something I don't like I let you know and I make sure it get's changed to how I like it!! That goes for my husband and kids too!!! I took my husband from a hoodlem punk and in the last 5 years he has become an upstanding citizen!!

[Well, I'd recommend that we shut down the jails and send them all to your house. Better than Boot Camp!]

I make sure he does more than his fare share of the house work even if he has just worked a 12 hour shift! If our 5 month old daughter wakes up at 4am and he just got home at 2am He's going to be the one that gets up and feeds her because I have a whole day of it and he can do it for a bit while I sleep. He does the laundry because it's "too heavy" for me to carry to the laundry mat. That goes for the garbage too!

[How is doing his work and yours too his "fare" share. I get it. It's not that you misspelled "fair," it's that you don't mean equal. You mean that he has to PAY to be with you.]

I'll cook any meal in the world if he wants it but he's going to do the clean up after words while I have a smoke and talk to my mom on the phone. When I go out to a resturaunt and you mess up my order you're not only going to replace it but you're going to give it to me for free!! Not to mention a complementary drink for the wait! I figureed one thing out early in life: If you want

[What do you reckon the spit, dust, dirt, mold or other kitchen junk content is on her plate? Phlegm-globber cheeseburger comin' right up.]

something done you have to tell people not ask them. My favorite thing to do is Kill with Kindness!

[Your generosity and goodness is underwhelming so far.]

I can be a total Bitch with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye. But

[Why is this duplicity a quality so many try to attain?]

you're still going to hate me in the end.

[Naw, we'll hate you at the beginning, too.]

You've heard the saying "Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over" Well screw Hell, I'll take over if I damn well want to!!I've alway's been proud of being a Bitch because in my mind it means I get what I need. I don't go without and that means my kids don't go without. Ever since I can remember it's alway's been "don't piss her off she'll put you in your place." That's

[Yes, your HIGHNESS.]

been the same from school to work. I got hired at a place that had just layed off 5 people becuse of work shortages. I don't take "no" for an answer. If you want my respect you're going to have to earn it - and it takes alot to earn respect from me.

[Yes, you and the rest of the moderately literate free world.]

One Liner:
I won't go with out! {with out what I need in life, what I want in life or what I like in life!}

[I wouldn't go with Out either. I hear Out's dating some adverb now.]



Name: Milkyway

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I moved out of the country without so much as even saying good-bye to my lover of five years because I found out he fooled around with a girl after my miscarriage a few months earlier.

[You didn't expect him to hang around after the baby was gone, did you?]

I had only found out a couple of weeks before our tentative departure date. We were suppose to roadtrip together up there, stopping off to snowboard along the way, but as soon as I found out I bought a single ticket and told him I was flying out. I haven't told him why I left without warning, yet.

[Aren't you the little coward.]

One Liner:
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

[You should have thought about that before you were about to become a single mom.]



Name: Ted Kennedy

Email : touchfootball@hyannisport.com

UserID : irish pimp

[We have a celebrity in the hizz-ouse. Let's see what he has to say. Janet Reno's application was LOADS of fun.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm from the most politcal family in Americar. My brotha, Jack was the president. Jack, Bobby, and I ahh the irish playas of ahh time, ahh daddy was THE HAHHTLESS BITCH in WALL ST. by Gawd! I'm been a Massachusetts senatah foah 40+ yeahs, and once I got away with muhduh and I was still reelected as Senatah by Gawd!

[Well, I was hoping that you'd talk to us about more RECENT events. On the other hand, if you're running against a murderer, and you're defeated, well, that must say loads about you as a candidate.]

One Liner:
"It's not who you ahh that counts, Teddy boy, but who people THINK you ahh." -my daddy

[Let's hear it for Mr. Kennedy.]



Name: Brooke the little troll

URL : erm...no.; I prefer to trash other people's.

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I enjoy posting comments on testosterone-driven message boards such as "GUNS AND BOOBS" that turn the conversation toward penis insecurity and heterosexual instability.

[You know those guys don't want to listen to a woman unless she's naked.]

I also enjoy popping in to a random chat room to start a bitter argument between pathethetic "regulars" who won't figure out what I have done even long after I am gone.

[Got any claims to fame that aren't trollish, snertish, or otherwise juvenile?]

One Liner:
I suppose it is my unfaltering belief that I was put on this earth to point out to others what is annoying and unattractive about them.

[See what a life of self-delusion will get you?]



Name: Luke

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my girlfriends dog got hit by a car.

[You probably lured him out there, didn't you?]

I started to dance around yelling and screaming "yes that fucking dog is finally dead now we can continue our relationship. Wow look at that dead thing it is sooo cool!!!"

[You were jealous of her dog? Man, that's lame. Wait...were you playing sexual second fiddle to her DOG? That's not just lame, it's NASSSSTY.]

One Liner:
Man of bitch
Dont give a fuck man

[Luke, (breathing) I am not your father. (breathing). I could never have any genetic commonalities with such a dork (breathing).]



Name: April

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am 19 years old and i anm probably more bitchy thatn anyone on this sight

[Oh yeah. I can tell from here. *yawn.*]

execpt for the bouncer. speaking of bouncers i was a stripper for almost two

[Way to segue.]

years before i decided i was too good for it. But just to let you know how bitchy i really am. i will tell you what i did to this one girl. she was a stripper and she was really sweet and everyone liked her well she found out she had a STD and she confided in my friend who told me. well, i didn't think that it was right for this nasty bitch with genitle warts to be a stripper, so i told everyone! I wasn't about to catch her diseases! I told ALL her regulars about

[What do you strippers do--swap thongs? How were you going to catch her genital warts? I thought you strippers weren't prostitutes. Gasp. I am shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you.]

her and it made her quit making money bcause everyone found out she was a nasty ho! Hahahahahaha!!! Everyone was like "You are a bitch Avril!" She came up to me

[I thought your name was APRIL. Frenching it up doesn't make you a better person.]

and she was like "Why did you tell everyone I have an STD? How could you? wahwah!!" I said "None of your business, you nasty bitch!"

[It wasn't any of YOUR business, either.]

Anyway, she had to quit her job and i laughed!
Anyway, I am a bitch. I quit being a stripper because i intimidateed all the men. They didn't spend money on me because i intimidated them because i am smarter than them dumb whores. Plus I just got off drugs and i started gaining

[You must have sucked as a stripper. Why did they keep you if you weren't making that paper?]

weight. But at least i realised i am too good for drugs!
I went on a date with this guy and when he called me a stripper, i punched him.

[You just said you were a stripper, you psycho.]

I am NOT a stripper. I am an enertainer! Get it right or kiss my ass!

[Isn't there a surcharge for that?]

By now you know that i am nore than qualified to be in your little club! you will have to email me at [typical email for her type] because my other email doesn't work right.

[It's an I/O problem, most likely.]

One Liner:
just because i look better than you doesn't mean you have to be so RUDE! get a life, get a job, brush your teeth and worst of all get OUT OF MMy face!

[Don't worry.]



Name: Andrew

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am, in my opinion neither male nor female,

[Were you born with too much equipment, or not enough?]

while not posessing the body of a female, I often despise being grouped amongst the males. I find myself having to constantly apologize on behalf of my gender for those little "male idiosyncracies" that women have to endure.

[Did you do it? Why would you apologize for others? I don't have anything to do with what some woman does across the world, and I won't apologize for it, either. Get over yourself, buddy. This schtick is annoying and ineffective. Besides, women don't have to endure a damned thing.]

I am certainly not a martyr for the female cause either, I believe in most cases that IF chivalry is indeed dead that women killed it.

[Chivalry was a useless institution anyway, whiner.]

True chivalry and courtly love is not a ploy nor scheme nor degrading in intention, it is genuine appreciation and courtesy.

[It's really rather annoying and cloying. No wonder women run from you.]

I try to conduct myself as an "Evolved Male."

[Then getteth thy head from twixt thine eld Medieval buttcheeks.]

I make no denial, I do have my "typical male" moments,

[What's a "typical" male moment? Assholism transcends gender. I thought that you weren't male or female, liar.]

but I do my best to keep them amongst my other male friends and genuinely apologize when tey appear amongst my women friends.

[In other words, you're a two-faced fraud.]

I am a heartless bitch...through and through

[In a word-Ha.]

One Liner:
Males, please crawl from the primordial morasse and EVOLVE!!

[Yes, join him in the 15th century.]



Name: Bitchy

Email : Umabiatch@iamcool.yeah

UserID : ayfucku

URL : www.pussyglore.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I like pussy. Once I was in a store and a guy walked in and I asked him to fuck me.

[Thought you liked pussy.]

Well he started slapping me around so I did what any "bitch" would do. I took it like the "bitch" I was.

[I get it. You're writing in from prison.]

I am not saying I am totally submissive and I don't know why I would ask a guy to fuck me when I only like pussy. Maybe I am just more stupid then I imagined but you know thats okay because I am a "bitch".

[Pleased to annoy you this much.]

So please paint me with this that and any other brush because I think its cool to be a "bitch". Oh yes and I'm a Heartless Bitch because I have a sticker on my car that says "0 to bitch in 3 seconds". RADDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

[I don't PAINT you. You do that to yourself. Stupid IS as Stupid DOES, and you're Stupid enough for all of us.]

One Liner:
I pee the bed and can't put together my own thoughts. I let men take advantage of me and I cry about it.... I am stupid so I don't matter in the world so I bitch about it. I mean why change something when you can just sit on your ass and bitch about it.

[Aside from the peeing in the bed bit, I'd have to agree with you. That crap IS annoying, and you SHOULDN'T cry about something that you can change.]

Then to top it all off I pat myself on the back because I have bitched about everything possible. Since I have become a "bitch" I have found I no longer have to do anything for myself. For example when I get my monthly yeast infection I don't scratch or treat the infection I just bitch at it till it goes away.

[What kind of magic cunt do YOU have? They NEVER go away.]

Oh shit this is supposed to be two lines. Ah well whats a "bitch" supposed to do. I am a "bitch" I don't have to follow your rules. YOU BITCH.

[Two lines? It says ONE liner up there.]









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