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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of March 2, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



[More ridiculousness from someone who claims to be "NOT interested."

I informed this applicant that we could not accept her application without a bonafide email address. She informed me that she wasn't interested (like her name) in giving us THAT much info about herself. I raised an eyebrow about that kind of paranoia, but no harm done.]

Actually, I'm a male (not that this should matter, right?).

[It doesn't. I scarcely look at the gender portion of the application. In this case, I checked the last application, and saw that you listed female so I could refer to your gender in pronouns appropriately.]

It's interesting to note that when the application was submitted with male selected, there was no reaction. Only when, for the first time, I submitted it with female selected did you acknowledge that the application was strong.

[No, dimwit. It was when you sent the same shit to me four times that I decided to let you know that you were being bounced for the improper email. Normally people either figure it out, or they stop applying. You seemed determined to keep at it, so I thought I'd save us both some time. This shouldn't be news to you, right? I said as much to you in the first place.

What is more interesting to note is how disgruntled you are about not being accepted. Here you are, again, to attempt to control us from a distance. You don't like this, and you want us to change that. I should have gone with my first instinct. Anyone who doesn't understand why their application is being bounced is just plain bad news. You're either too stupid to read instructions, in which case you won't be welcome, or you're interested in membership for some personal agenda, in which case you wouldn't be welcome.]

Perhaps there's something to that, perhaps not; I just thought it was interesting to note. But no harm done.

[No, no harm done, but still you want to attempt to tell us what to do. Invest in your own website, chum.]

Just an outsider opinion: the HIMBO section of your site seems a bit out of place.

[If you can't be a member, then you'll sour grape us to death, eh?]

Sounds like a lot of pathetic whining and rationalizing, i.e. "Good-looking men aren't interested in me

[Sounds like a lot of pathetic misconstruction and projection...]

(and let's face it, you *know* they're not in the long- term), and I will therefore convince myself that they must have other undesirable traits." Or, as I put it for the pukefest:

[Sounds a lot like your objections, doesn't it?]

-Women and men who say things like, "Very attractive (wo)men turn me off." Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Of course, it's NOT that "I turn very attractive (wo)men off." Noooooo, THAT's not it.

[You're resorting to calling us names and implying we are unattractive? How very very dull. And overdone.]

-Women who ASSUME that every good-looking man must be a HIMBO. It's a pathetic assumption, and only emphasizes their own insecurities. -Women and men who actually believe that a bunch of comments made while on their High Horse will change the basic, hard-wired human attraction to physical beauty.
Or more bluntly:
-Women and men who constantly complain that attractive people get all the breaks. Wah, FUCKIN' wah.

[This is strictly schoolyard crybabying. Tell me, who actually wrote your application for you?]

Quote from your site: "The great thing about Heartless Bitches is that there isn't a party line. People of all different backgrounds, all different persuasions, can find (or make) a niche here."

[You twit. *I* said that.]

Still far and away the most hilarious quote from your entire site. Thanks for the occasional entertainment

[It's not my job to help you understand, and by the looks of it, you'd rather remain ignorant.]



Name: Jay "The Biggest gay Bitch EVER"

[Just how big are you, Jay?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
well im just a heartless bitch because i hate men... i just do..

[This must make dating a challenge...I mean other than the obvious and usual obstacles.]

im gay and i hate men.. im so sick of them im becomming a non participating lesbian..

[Wouldn't you be a celibate male?]

it is THAT BAD... men just suck.. they suck in 2 ways. They either suck your dick well or they suck at being men... THAT IS ALL THERE IS... THERE is no other type of man.. The ones that are "nice, loyal, friendly"... yeah THERE GAY AND BITCHY... anyway i just think i would make a good heartless bitch. because well i am.. a heartless bitch... im gay for god sakes.. i have to be a heartless bitch.

[No. Unfortunately, you're just a stupid-o who happens to be gay.]

One Liner:
im not bitter. i just hope everyone dies a VERY slow death with a lot of pain... NO im not fuckin bitter.

[Now, now, what did everyone do to you?]



Name: Devan

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was told last week that I had issues with hatred and general distrust of people. That's bad because?

[It would depend on who said it to you, but only in the degrees of badness. I'd say it's bad because you'd just sound like an irrational asshole all the time, and no one wants to listen to someone who never has anything positive to say.]

I trust me, I don't place my trust in anyone else.

[Trust me. I don't care. This has no bearing on anything.]

I get sick of hearing women whine about how their significant other beats them (uh, leave.), how no one appreciates them and all they do (appreciate yourself first)

[Okay, so you can solve someone ELSE'S problem. Work on your own.]

and if I see another mini van driving soccer mom I'm going to be violently ill. Your husband is emailing me pictures of his dick you dumbass.

[How do you know that they are his? It's simplicity itself to get or make phony pics.]

On that topic, why the hell does a man think that I want to see his cock?

[See your advice to women in bad situations.]

Sorry, better things to do today and no I won't cyber with you, in fact, I've just posted your request, along with your user name, on my Internet journal.

[Like people care about what goes on in a livejournal site.]

One Liner:
If you blindly place your trust in someone completely, you deserve to get screwed.

[Blind trust is one issue, but you also seem to advocate no trust at all. Reacting as a victim will get you nowhere fast, too.]



Name: Pam

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I left an ex-boyfriend along the roadside on a frigid winter night when I was driving and he insisted I go with him to a trendy club so he could "show me off." He wouldn't take no for an answer so I stopped the car and told him to get out. When he did, I sped off into the night as he stood there with a stupefied look on his face. (I don't think he thought I was serious. Imagine THAT!)

[I'll bet you'd be screaming bloody murder if he did that to you. Funny how some of you think that cruelty toward men is nifty, but if he so much as takes the sheen off your fingernail, you'd cry for his castration. What you did was a crime, kid. All you had to do was drive home.]

When he called me from jail later that night (his one call) I laughed at him and hung up on him. (He got busted for indecent exposure peeing in a church parking lot. Knowing his, ahem, below the waist parts, it was a fitting charge.)

[I'll bet that you're still with him. If that's the case, you deserve one another. If you left ME by the roadside, I'd have gone to jail for a reason.]

One Liner:
Old World Cruelty (Thanks Grandma!) Tempered With Modern Impatience.

[Insanity does tend to be genetic.]



Name: Jennie Jo

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
... I cannot tolerate stupid drivers. I feel like I drive around my city with my middle finger flung out the window, because people can't operate their motor vehicle properly.

[And I suppose you could with your hand out of the window?]

I am now at the point where I swerve at pedestrians and tailgate people in wheelchairs who won't stay off the f***ing road.

[Yes, I see that is a serious problem. Why, I can hardly go two feet without getting behind some wheelchair.]

I also think I'm a heartless bitch because I am sick of putting up with people who cannot distinguish their ass from a hole in the ground.

[Hey, burro-burrow. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.]

In those cases I simply tear them a new one.

[All this because the world won't move out of YOUR way.]

As for men, I don't deal with them unless I have to. My neutered dog has more intelligence so I prefer to associate with him instead.

[Didn't David Berkowitz talk to his dog, too?]

One Liner:
I don't care if people think I'm a bitch... I just don't tolerate idiots who act like they know what their doing.

[Well, stop cruising hospitals and retirement homes and watch your frustration level dwindle.]



Name: Jerry

[While this isn't exactly WEAK, it's worth sharing. Jerry, if you're truly interested, submit an application that demonstrates what you think a Heartless Bitch is, or why you think that you are.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
JerryC:Have you seen this: http://www.heartless-bitches.com
LMP:It's so shitty! Don't go...
Greekygeek: Holy shit! This is hilarious! "The Queen Of Mean"? Only fitting for a 'heartless bitch'.
Greekygeek: Are these people serious?
JerryC: It's funny
Greekygeek: Tasha, where did you find this crap???
LMP: Mia was showing off her 'card'
LMP: She thinks she's cool now that she's a member
Jones: That freak actually applied? I didn't think she knew what the internet was...
LMP: LMAO. And y'know what it says here? Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?
LMP: Sound familiar?
Greekygeek: They have got to be entirely stupid to think all these people who apply are actually telling the truth?!!

[We're not entirely stupid. There are some applications that sound true enough, and some who fake it intellectually enough. Our standards are dismally low, yet so many people fail.]

Greekygeek: Mia has Gary's cock in her throat 24/7. Independent, indeed...

[Her sex life is her OWN business, as far as I'm concerned. Sucking cock doesn't automatically mean a women is dependent or subservient.]

LMP: "And I found the emotional abusers articles. how to recognize them, etc. and the "how to create an evil stepmother". so what im getting at is that i was emotionally abused by my father for my whole life. (Im 17 now). I stopped visiting him 2 years ago, after contemplating suicide b/c of what he did.
LMP: Your slave forever, Allegra
Greekygeek: They should run one of those ads,
Greekygeek: 'Hi, I'm Allegra and I have been using Heartless Bitches for two years! One month into my membership and I was a new person! I am strong now! ThankYOU, Heartless Bitches for giving me back what I had lost!'


[Yes, we do get a lot of people who find advice here, even though we are NOT a self-help site. We strongly advocate doing it yourself. Still, I have to admit that it's an unexpected shot in the arm to see that one former idiot has managed to pick HERSELF (or HIMSELF) up and take responsibility for her/his own life. You should thank us. That's one less moron boring you at the water cooler, and perhaps even one less "nice guy" humping your ankle.]

Jones: Lol
Greekygeek: Weak of the week is kinda funny though. How much time do you think Jade Siren spend on the computer anyway?
JerryC: It's Jade Syren. Not Siren.
Greekygeek: Sounds fake
Greekygeek: Probably is...

[It is. How real is Greekygeek? Many people use assumed identities on the internet.]

JerryC: I think she's cool

[Wait until you know me.]

Greekygeek: You would
JerryC: What the fuck is that supposed to fucking mean???!!!!
Jones: You're going to apply aren't you?
Greekygeek: It means, fuck, that you, fuck, are now fucking going to use the word 'fuck' in every fucking sentence for the fucking rest of the fucking day

[That's not really what it means. You should stop being coy and indirect. It gets annoying fast.]

LMP: Play nice, girls
Jones: Jerry, swearing all the time like these people doesn't make you cool.

[No, cool transcends that. Cool is the ability to say that you like something even if you know that your friends are going to give you shit about it. It takes courage to do that. Quite frankly, Jonesie, you're missing the forest for the trees. Don't miss the message because you object to a curse word or two. I can't help but notice that control issue. When people ask you to stop swearing (outside of professional settings), they are really trying to control how you express yourself, and therefore, are attempting to control you.]

Greekygeek: These people are losers. L-O-S-E-R-S...
Greekygeek: You wanna be a loser, Jerry?
LMP: Don't be mean
JerryC: YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS FUCKING DISSING ME!!!

[If that's how you truly feel, Jerry, find new friends.]

Greekygeek: Ignore her
Greekygeek: Piggy, do you wanna go watch a movie tonight?
JerryC: I FUCKING HATE YOU!
LMP: Sorry, date tonight... calm down Jerry
Greekygeek: What about you, Tasha?
JerryC: I FUCKING HATE YOU, BITCHES!!!
Jones: What time?
JerryC: THEY RULE AND YOU SUCK!!!

[Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. You've got to do better than that. Thanks for sharing this transcript, and thanks for the support.]

One Liner:
I'm my own woman, I don't take your shit.

[And you shouldn't.]





Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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