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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of February 23, 2003
edited by Jadesyren



Name: Sharon

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have no tolarance for the underdog, if they were doing what they needed to do they would not be the losser and I have no problem telling them so.

[Underdog isn't synonymous with loser.]

I belive you need to stand up and stop snivelling and get over it. The only thing holding people back is themselves! I have been discribed as cold but only by the people I have had to have that TALK with.

[Funny, you'd think they'd use "stupid."]

I have been discribed in my work years as .....HER, THE Bitccch, and atila the cunt, but only when I made a major break thru for the company and made them money.

[A popular tactic is to insult someone and allow them to believe that it is a compliment.]

I hate it when people say im sorry because they are doing something there suposed to do like WORK or take care of their FAMILY.

[False apology gets on my nerves, too.]

One Liner:
If you come to me with bullshit im just going to kick dirt in your face!

[Sounds like a Charles Atlas ad.]



Name: julianna

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
"but, why do YOU stand for this." Im poltically active, witty, cruel, some say pretty,

[Mustn't leave out THAT adjective.]

and I run my own independant newspaper. I'm a highschool girl, so no one is interested in anything except my apperance.

[Not even you.]

So when a himbo comes up and asks me some slutty question and I decline or rebuke him, they ask what my problem is. Hmm, you don't bother talking to me when im downtown at a protest,

[Did they SEE you downtown? Are they supposed to follow you around?]

you don't bother talking to me when i pass out the paper, you don't bother saying anything to me accept if you think you'll get some.

[I can just imagine what your paper looks like. Have you read this application? I hope you've hired an editor.]

That's right, im just one big sex machine. My bitter femenism and mind are just a defense. "We've come a long way baby", that's what the cigarette CEO put out in some add.

[And it worked like a charm.]

What have we come to when our pride slogan is defined by Virginia Slims

[Read "Backlash." Or stop reading it. Whichever.]

and our salary depends on our cup size?

[If ONLY it were that simple.]

I do my best to work with what i have and encourage other girls who are battered by society into being half a person until they're lodged inside a relationship. I however, refuse to be half a man. Im a woman damn it, and if that makes me the heartless bitch then so be it.

[When you get your act together, you're going to be interesting.]

One Liner:
Femenism is the modern day F word. So go F them all.

[This can't be your work.]



Name: krystle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
nobody can stand me. i bitch 24/7.

[You're right. I can barely stand you.]

One Liner:
i may be a bitch but thank god im not ugly

[Glad you've got your priorities together.]



Name: Carolyn

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a business Manager and have 5 women under my supervision. I love the excuses that they need to leave early becuase of that time of the month.

[Here we go.]

My response has been in the past to leave work and come in tommorrow and make up your time. Well, after this going on for several weeks and many work hours not completed, My response now is:

[Terminations? Write-ups? Docked pay? I've even worked in places that cut your hours because you can't seem to do the work.]

I have a foam look a like "MIDOL" pill and I usually toss it at the person and tell them to take a midol and go back to work. If that doesn't work, I have packages of underware, panty liners, tampons and have purchased a washer.dryer for the office. Now no one can use this damn excuse.

[It really doesn't matter WHY they are leaving, does it? The problem you have is an attendance issue, and there are professional ways to handle it. I don't think you're cut out for this line of work. What you've done is bordering on bullying.]

Everyone knows when your time of the month is going to be comeing. Just another damn excuse!!! But waite it gets better, I have paticular girl who loves to tell me that she's going to have an abortion and needs the weekend off, this usually fall during a major holiday.

[She needs to have an abortion for every holiday? Are you kidding me?]

After the first one, of course we let her have the weekend off, includeing a Monday. During that weekend I went to a concert and guess who was there, Yes, my abortion girl. Of course I began to ask her how she was feeling and she kept telling the guy with didn't know anything, well, I felt she was well enough to go to this concert then she obviously didn't need to keep it from him and so I told the guy.

[Again, there were ways to handle this situation, and let's face it, catching your employee in a lie as you did is a gift from above. You didn't let any "cat out of the bag." She never needed an abortion, and she just told you that to get the time off. What a maroon.]

Well....he proceeded to ask her about it and of course she then admitted that it was not done and she lied. So....Monday morning she came to work and I called here my office at the end of the day and told her she was fired, of course she turned on the tears and I proceeded to walk out of the room and told her when she could get herself together we would continue this converstaion.

[What conversation? She's fired. She should have been escorted out at that point.]

She then called me a Heartless Bitch and of cousre I let her speak her mind, then I escorted her out the building I'm not sure if this qualifies for being part of the club, but I really don't care.

[No, your rank stupidity and callous nature disqualify you.]

One Liner:
Don't give me excuses just do your damn job!

[I'll give you this. At least you didn't talk about the men in your life.]



Name: Elise

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have been an equal opportunity bitch since age 5 when we moved into a neighborhood where I was the oldest kid and quickly realized what potential that unique position held,

[The unique position of being the neighborhood bully.]

not to mention the shere power: I have never descriminated against studpidity based on race, creed or sexual orientation.

[No, just size.]

I don't care what anyone's whiny-assed minority claim to fame is, affirmative action is for quitters and political correctness was invented by weenies. If you're stupid and you show it, you should be punished. Period.

[Report to the flogging room. Oh, I wish there were such a thing.]

One Liner:
There's simply not enough good old fashioned Truth out there. I feel it's my duty, having a substatial IQ

[*snicker*]

and the balls to back my informed opinions, to voiciferously share the cold, hard truth with everyone who asks for it, and everyone who doesn't. If I don't have something nice to say, I say everything I'm thinking.

[You say that as a point of pride, but the truth of it is that if you COULD do that, you're not thinking much. I would need to speak like an auctioneer to say everything that I was thinking, for example. I have seen some truly brilliant minds who would likely require a computer or two.]



Name: Kara

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Do I need a reason? Well, I'll humor you.

[I'm sure humor will be involved.]

I live in New York, the Upper East Side to be specific. Lets just say I enjoy the finer things in life.

[Why does that need to be said?]

I'm 18 years old and have little or no responsibility, aside from the fact that I do go to

[I have three words for you: LESS THAN ZERO.]

school. I'm probally one of the most intelegent,

[Heh.]

charming, beautiful, stylish and graceful people you will ever read about in this case.I live, sleep, and breath fashion. I enjoy going to all the shows, especially the Pret-A-Porter collections, lecturing and being lectured on it, emmersing myself in it. I care about designers YSL, Gallino, Dior.

[At least you found your niche. Stay in it.]

P.S. Any of you ladies who enjoy fashion (real fashion)get in touch. Well lets see... What else can I tell you about myself. I'm unbelievably self-centered, I love looking down on other people. In my opinion class does matter, and so does the size of ones trust fund. You can call me an arragant, elitist, socialite bitch; I'll take it as a compliment.

[Would painfully stupid be equally complimentary?]

Being the slave to fashion that I am, in my opinion looks do matter, if you are not thin...you are not attractive. Lets face it "Thin is in" for high-fashion and I dress to impress. Anyone who has a problem with my opinions or as i like to call them the facts

[You can call shit gold, but it won't change the stinky brown nature of it.]

, they can kiss my rich bitch elitist ass.

[You'd think that the elite would have higher standards.]

One Liner:
I hope you can handle all this bitch, alot of people are offended. Offended...Jealous Whatever

[You've restored my faith in humanity. The rich are no more immune to ignorance than the poor. Thanks for writing.]



Name: Leah

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am clawing my way through law school so that i can fry the motherfuckers who think that owning a penis grants anyone the right to ruin a life.

[I'm sure you've encounted the Good Ole Boys' Network by now. Good luck.]

Dahmer, I'll eat your fucking heart out.

[You know that his grave isn't refrigerated.]

One Liner:
I'm a tight-assed woman who knows what she wants and how to beat the shit out of the asshole who tries to keep me away from reaching my set task.

[No matter how trite, stupid, or unplanned it may be.]



Name: Sharon

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:

[Deleted trite little mundane story.]

Sharon
MUAH!

PS - print the story, she KNOWS who she is. But not the name - it's my office email!!!

[It would serve you right if the office knew what kind of pinhead they work with. If you want to run down your coworker, do it on your own time. Don't waste mine.]

One Liner:
Being an experienced Heartless Bitch means you never have to say sorry.

[Well, our NEED for apology is less, but not because we think that we're too good to give one. We just prefer to choose options that wouldn't REQUIRE one.]



Name: Bonnie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Dear Fuckin Bon
Deal with it!


[Why am I not surprised that DFB has fucked up anti-fans, too?]

One Liner:
Cynical, coldhearted & sex starved...why can't men get it up without being taught!

[Perhaps in your case, massive stupidity turns them off?]



Name: Tanya G.

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I live my life according to MY rules. When I was single I decided I wasn't going to end up an emotional doormat like my mother. If I didn't like a guy I either dumped him or never went out with him at all. I slept with who I wanted to, when I wanted to and for any reason I wanted to. "Just because" was a perfectly good reason in my book, as long as the guy was game. Now that I'm married and have children I'm finding that I'm still applying some of my philosophy. I don't want boxes of shit all over my house. Find it a home or I'm throwing it away. My husband mistook this for a bluff once. ONCE! Now all I have to do to end an argument and get some action is utter the phrase "watch me!" I'm amazed how fast I get results. Even with that success I've had to remind my wonderful husband of mine that I run the household and I am home all day, he is not here to stop me from hiring someone to cut grass and rake leaves if it otherwise doesn't get d one.

[He's paying the cost to be the boss, kiddo. As long as he's footing your bills, you've given him the right to rein in the budget. This means that you should get your lazy ass to work.]

And with 2 kids I don't always get to the yardwork. Sorry hon!!

[What ELSE are you doing? With two kids, you shouldn't NEED to hire anyone.]

One Liner:
I run the show. You aren't here to stop me.

[You run it because he allows it. There's a difference. As long as he thinks it's cute, you'll be in command.]





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