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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of December 22, 2002
edited by



Name: Marisol

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
this is stupid i dont need you too tell me ima bitch!

[Then why do you keep writing in?]

please ma im not too beat! if you even know what that means.

[No, I don't translate rebellious teen versions of ebonics well.]

but your prob. noy ghetto anyways

[No, kid. I'm old school.]

what i think is that your a corny lil no body that got picked on when you were young.

[Didn't we all, though? That's what I love about childhood--teasing is universal.]

you were never a bitch you learned how from the people who made fun of you.

[Those people tended to lack the style required to deliver a proper insult.]

you need a life. shit ant that serious all you are lil rich ass princesses.

[You make a lot of judgments. I wonder what they are based on. You don't know it, but people who know me, and some of the more regular readers are laughing at your ridiculous assumptions.]

you ant bitches you spoiled brats. try living in the hood.

[And in case any of you were confused about where she meant....]

i was born and raised in the bronx (thats in nyc)

[You don't say.]

i lived in the projects you need to be a bitch to live so all ya need to get a fuckin clue and come to my hood

[After all, look what it's done to...er...for you.]

One Liner:
ma niggaz is my hood im a hoop rat

[You wouldn't happen to mean HOOD rat, would ya?]

so all ya prissy bitches think about that

[Next she'll be referring to herself as a "chickenhead."]



Name: Olga

[You can tell that Olga is a fan by her information.]

Email : thebitch@yehright.com

UserID : cunt

URL : fuckyouandthehorseyourodeinon.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
You dont know it but HBI really stands for HOT BEEF INJECTION and you know you want it you Bitch!!!

[Yet another loser who thinks that dick is a cure-all. Well, it worked for HIM....]

One Liner:
What did two fat chicks say one day? Who cares? They're both FAT!

[And fat jokes. You mind injecting some humor in them?]



Name: Nikki

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have no tolerance for women with no backbone that can't handle being on their own, and I often tell them to their faces that they're spineless and no good, worthwhile man wants an idiot who can't decide wether she wants salad or steak.

[That IS the female dilemma, isn't it? We all just weep when we see a menu.]

I can enjoy sex for sex's sake, just like any man, and like any man I can say thank you and walk away. I don't beg for a phone call, or wonder if he's going to ignore me........I could give a shit, because I do things for me.

[Don't you think that there's more than that in your provencial life?]

One Liner:
So, tell me exactly how long have you been stuck on stupid?

[How long have we been talking?]

Do you sit around at home and practice how to be stupid, or does it come naturually?

[Being stupid requires very hard work and intense training. Shows what YOU know.]

(pointing toward my crotch) Speak into the box hunny, and then maybe I'll care what you have to say!

[If he's down there, I'm not interested in what he has to SAY. If you've gotten to the point where you're sticking a face in a crotch, conversation time is over.]

(talking to short men with bad cases of Short Mans Complex) If you don't come up to my ears, I can't hear you.

[Short man thinks: "I can come up to your ears, alright."]



Name: BruSOtos

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I realize the futility of living in this universe with useless carbon-based life forms such as yourselves.

[Pity you didn't realize the futility of sending this application.]

I don't have a heart and I am a bitch

[Wait for it.]

An alien bitch

[Unlike anything I've seen, anyway.]

Who will one day conquer you puny human scum
haha

[Yeah, and next you'll be saying, "Take me to your leader."]

One Liner:
All is for the taking

[That's the problem with you aliens. You're too greedy.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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