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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of October 27, 2002
edited by



Name: Kim

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I will tell you in detail when I have the time

[I'll just hold your breath.]

One Liner:
I am here for agood time not a long time, when I do have the time and inclination (maybe this week) I will do so and hunour both of us.

[You don't need to make a reservation, although I DO have one about you.]



Name: Laura

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Basically, I don't take no shit from no one no more.

[Yay you.]

One Liner:
He hurt my feelings and made me cry, so I broke his nose. (True story #7)

[You number your true stories? Are they like episodes? There's something about violence against anyone that really leaves me cold. He hurt your feelings, so you socked him one, is that it? If I changed the genders in that story, would the person getting whacked in the nose still be a bad guy? You know what that story needs? Rhymes. It would have sounded WAY better if you broke his nose and blacked his eye.]



Name: Shelli

Email : thebiggestqueenbitch@upyourass.com

[Like I keep queen bitches (or ANYTHING) up my ass.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a bitch because i'm married and I am cheating on my husband.

[Joy.]

I plan to keep on cheating because I like to and it's fun.

[Remember that when he cheats on you. Or when you're writing us from the women's shelter.]

I also use my husbands money to rent the hotel room that me and my bed buddy use to get are freak on. And no I dont care what any body thinks about this.

[Did you email this to your hubby? Shall I? Why aren't you using your real name?]

One Liner:
Dont make me shove my nike up your ass. I just bought them last week and I dont like cleaning shit off of them.

[Great, so you just let that shit cake up on your shoes?]



Name: star screww66

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i sick to death of male's who are all poster boy's having all qualities but no fuckin brains.

[Now, now, a big dumb piece of eye candy ain't bad when you have a sweet tooth.]

One Liner:
Do not think with your pants down

[No, just pull them back up.]

If we are talking do't look betweet my face look at my fuckin face

[You're not that easy on the eyes. Your sentence alone is pretty painful.]



Name: Anticea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I'm pointing out the fact that the Bitch Bouncer, JadeSyren, made a few embarrassing grammatical errors while she was making fun of people who make grammatical errors. I'm referring to her statement on the Weak of the Week page.

[These are my favorite letters. How many times do I have to answer the same letters, Anticea? You think that you're the first clever soul to point out some of them?]

Notice, for example, that in the first sentence she put the word "Bitch" in bold print when it would have been much more appropriate to put it in quotation marks.

[Grammar is picky, I agree, and it does verge on the hypocritical to have grammatical errors (I'm pointing at you, Anticea) while correcting those of others. I'm quite clear about what types of errors I point out for mockery (and I try to keep them to a minimum, as they are only funny to a point, then they become quite cliche). If you've dangled a funny modifier, I'm going to point it out because it's FUNNY, not because it's grammatically incorrect. To pick out some types of grammatical errors, such as the placement of finial punctuation in quotations, the number of dots in an ellipsis, or the proper use of a colon would only be mildly funny to grammarians, which I am not. There is a huge difference between someone who leaves out the predicate and someone who uses run on sentences, but makes a decent statement. That being said, I also allow for individual creativity.]

Furthermore, it was grammitically incorrect to capitalize "Bitch" as it is not a proper noun.

[I'm using it AS a proper noun.]

However, since HBI is presenting the word "Bitch" as a title only carried by certain people who meet certain qualifications so I will let her get away with it.

[As if you could call the grammar police and stop me. Your statement was a pretty clumsy sentence, by the way.]

Please allow me to continue.

[What if I don't? Isn't this YOUR email?]

Is it just me, or should the second sentence really be two sentences? Perhaps it's just a matter of opinion.

[I've got a lot of second sentences, and quite a few Weak of the Week pages. Care to be specific?]

I also find it strange that she said,

[I WROTE, not said.]

"...it's hard to believe someone isn't a card-carrying member of the weak-minded underclass when they have trouble with even the most basic forms of written communication." I only know one form of written communication: English. How many does she know?

[Not counting dialects, two. I imagine that there are as many written forms of communication as there are languages, but I'm not a linguist. It IS a clumsy sentence, I'll grant you that.]

Perhaps she meant to say that some people are not familure

[Heh.]

with even the most basic precepts of the English form. One of those basic precepts is that a pronoun should agree with the noun it is substituting. Therefore, "they" should not be used to substitute "someone".

[Yeah, yeah, yeah, but EVERYONE is really sick of reading "His or her." I use it as a form of protest. There SHOULD be a third person plural neutral pronoun.]

She said something clumsy when she wrote, "Yes, I would make exceptions in cases where English isn't the native tongue..." In that sentence the word "where" should be replaced with the phrase "in which". We're not only talking about cases that exist in geographical locations WHERE Enlgish isn't the native tongue, are we?

[Who is we? See how easy that is?]

I could pick on her phrase "the English as a Second Language folks" but I assume she knew it sounded funny and I found it bit charming so I'll leave it alone.

[So charming that you chose to mention it here, however.]

"Sad but true" is not a complete sentence. It might be a popular expression but it is still not a complete sentence.

[Of COURSE it's not a complete sentence. It's common practice to tinker around with phrases for impact or to reflect mood. A great example of this is when the author writes, "It hurt. A lot." Know anything about comma splices, perchance?]

I'm also a heartless bitch because I don't really care about grammitical errors and realize that I probably made a few of my own in the process of writing this e-mail.

[Now, that just makes you a hypocrite, doesn't it. Would it be lame at this point to note that you don't really care about spelling, either? (Yes, yes, it would.)]

(Yes, I still insist on putting a hyphen in "e-mail". It should be there, damn it!) I just wanted to prove that virtually anyone can be picked on.

[Who didn't know that? No one is safe from ridicule. I find it funny that people love to hold public figures up to ridicule, but treat the common man that way, and people get bent out of shape about it. Welcome to HBI. We treat you like a celebrity here.]

By the way, I wonder why JadeSyren doesn't put a space between her first and last names. I also wonder what kind of name "JadeSyren" is. Is that supposed to be a real name?

[It's real in the sense that I use it. The space is optional. The neatest thing about personal names is that there ARE no rules governing it, except that you can't change it for fraudulent purposes.]

No offence, Bitch Bouncer. It's all part of friendly Bitch banter!

[I've had friendly Bitch banter. This was neither.]

One Liner:
I don't give any shit. I don't take any shit. I'm not in the shit business.

[You need to credit me with that one.]



Name: stace

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Its a bit like the scorpion and the frog story.Being a Bitch is just in my nature.lololololol Genetically I'd say after yrs of listening to my Mum it's INBUILT PUSSYPOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POWER TO THE PUSSY!!!!YER

[I'm here to serve you with the disconnect notice. Your pussy power is depleting the intelligence in a 5 block radius.]

One Liner:
I'm not sure,just that everytime I open my mouth something sarcastic, and comical comes out of my out!!!!I'm just good.

[That's just dripping with sarcasm. You slay me. "I'm just good."]



Name: quannah

URL : What the Fuck is a URL

["You're soaking in it." --JadeSyren '99.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I take care of me and my own eveyone eles on the face of the planet can get out of my way or eat me!!!

[You're too tough and stringy.]

One Liner:
I am a Heartless Bitch and I am not going to waste my time explaining myself to a bunch of chick who won't let me in their "club"

[Good. It's a done deal.]



Name: Misty

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
YO..Whasup my heartless biyatches? Damn straight I a heartless ass bitch. WHy? Cause of all dem white boys. Yeah, I'm white but my black ronies got it goin ON. I am sick of cracka ass white boys cept' for Enimen..that nigga my idol yo....but those other white boys be gettin on a sistas nerve fo real! I dont care that my nigga has his white princess up in the ghetto. It's all about love and I am home. Those white boys can get a cap popped into their flat asses. You feel me? Shit....I'm a bitch cause you white boys made me that way. What's wrong with being a big white girl? My niggas dont mind! My legs may be as white as peroxide but I taste like pure chocolate...ya feel me?

[Despite popular belief, you can't get "black" by injection. When these guys ask you if you want a little black in you, that ain't what they mean.]

One Liner:
PICTURE ME ROLLIN'

[Consider you gone.]



Name: Nicole

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because,I told my future mother in-law she "needed to cut the fucking ambilical cord and to get a life of her own away from her corky thatcher looking son and the son who can't do his own dishes at 24. Then I asked her does she wipe their shit and masturbate with it too?" This stemed from when she accused me of using her son. Ths all started because him and I were sick of haging out with her every weekend and didn't want to go to a flea market. I moved from Massachusetts to be with him in Florida after a heartbreaking divorce. This is when my inner bitch came out for good.

[This letter is a Weak of the Week dream come true. There is just so much material in here. Let's start with the divorce, Rebound Queen. I'm going to have to agree with your future in law (over her dead body, I'll warrant) in that you ARE using her son. Where do you live? In the house with Mom and sons? You say to be with him, I say that you're a rat on a sinking ship, and you had nowhere to go. If you don't like how the BREAD-WINNER spends her weekends, move the fuck off her couch. Don't eat her food and give her shit, too. Ingrate.]

One Liner:
The definition of nice-compliant. The definition of a bitch-confident

[Form of...a giant idiot. Shape of...an ice leech.]



Name: Wendy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
a woman with cancer was in love with me. she refuses to have the needed surgery because she thinks i wont love her if she is disfigured. i already don't love her. so i ditched her.

[Well, at least there's a treatment for her ailment.]

One Liner:
I'm a doctor,

[Stop. You're killing me. I can't laugh this much in one day.]

so when people start whining to me i tell them i deal with REAL problems all day...try to come up with something original

[That's what *I* say.]



Name: faith

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
when my husband of 21 years became ill, I up and MARRIED another man and moved this "new husband" into my home to give me what the orginal husband could'nt.

[This only shows me that you lack character.]

I've since moved in other lovers since the second husband went to prison for life. I'm still married to both men.

[I wonder how long some of you take to come up with this stuff.]

One Liner:
second and third time around is always better.

[Not when you're the last guy in the condom.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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