Dec 28, 2009
Dec 21, 2009
Dec 14, 2009
Dec 07, 2009
Nov 30, 2009
July 27 2009
April 27 2009
May 26 2008
May 19, 2008
Sep 4, 2005
Aug 2, 2005
Nov 2, 2004
Oct 23, 2004
Oct 15, 2004
Oct 3, 2004
Sep 22, 2004
Aug 24, 2004
Jul 31, 2004
Jul 4, 2004
Jun 20, 2004
Jun 13, 2004
Jun 6, 2004
May 23, 2004
May 2, 2004
Apr 25, 2004
Apr 11, 2004
Apr 4, 2004
Mar 28, 2004
Mar 21, 2004
Mar 14, 2004
Mar 7, 2004
Feb 29, 2004
Feb 15, 2004
Feb 8, 2004
Jan 31, 2004
Jan 18, 2004
Jan 4, 2004
Dec 28, 2003
Dec 14, 2003
Dec 7, 2003
Nov 30, 2003
Nov 23, 2003
Nov 16, 2003
Nov 9, 2003
Nov 2, 2003
Oct 26, 2003
Oct 19, 2003
Oct 12, 2003
Oct 5, 2003
Sept 28, 2003
Sept 21, 2003
Sept 14, 2003
Sept 7, 2003
August 31, 2003
August 24, 2003
August 17, 2003
August 10, 2003
August 3, 2003
July 27, 2003
July 20, 2003
July 13, 2003
July 06, 2003
June 29, 2003
June 22, 2003
June 15, 2003
June 8, 2003
June 1, 2003
May 25, 2003
May 18, 2003
May 11, 2003
May 4, 2003
Apr 27, 2003
Apr 20, 2003
Apr 1, 2003
Mar 16, 2003
Mar 09, 2003
Mar 02, 2003
Feb 23, 2003
Feb 16, 2003
Feb 9, 2003
Feb 2, 2003
Jan 26, 2003
Jan 19, 2003
Jan 12, 2003
Jan 5, 2003
Dec 29, 2002
Dec 22, 2002
Dec 15, 2002
Dec 8, 2002
Dec 1, 2002
Nov 24, 2002
Nov 17, 2002
Nov 10, 2002
Nov 3, 2002
Oct 27, 2002
Oct 20, 2002
Oct 13, 2002
Oct 6, 2002
Sep 29, 2002
Sep 22, 2002
Sep 15, 2002
Sep 8, 2002
Sep 1, 2002
Aug 25, 2002
Aug 18, 2002
Aug 11, 2002
Aug 4, 2002
Jul 28, 2002
Jul 21, 2002
Jul 14, 2002
Jul 7, 2002
Jun 30, 2002
Jun 23, 2002
Jun 16, 2002
Jun 9, 2002
Jun 2, 2002
May 26, 2002
May 19, 2002
May 12, 2002
May 5, 2002
Apr 28, 2002
Apr 21, 2002
Apr 14, 2002
Apr 7, 2002
Mar 31, 2002
Mar 24, 2002
Mar 17, 2002
Mar 10, 2002
Mar 3, 2002
Feb 24, 2002
Feb 17, 2002
Feb 10, 2002
Feb 3, 2002
Jan 27, 2002
Jan 20, 2002
Jan 13, 2002
Jan 6, 2002
1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 22, 2002
edited by



Name: maya

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i don't let guys do me up the ass

[Well, that was certainly informative. I respect a girl who knows her limits. *sheesh*.]

One Liner:
if sex is a pain in the ass then you're doing it wrong!!!

[I thought you DIDN'T let guys blast you in the ass.]



Name: Danyell

[That has got to be one of the WORST respellings of "Danielle" that I have ever seen. Parents, encourage your children to be unique through achievement, not through name.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a heartless bitch because i do what i want and dont care what people have to say about it.

[You and EVERY OTHER princess out there.]

i dont spend hours whining about what i look like or have sympathy for people who do. so if someone says oh i'm SO UGLY today, i dont try to sugar coat or boost their ego by saying OH NOOOO you look BEAUTIFUL MWAH MWAH MWAH(the sound of ass kissing)! NO! i say yeah you're fucking ugly.

[Ugliness is more acceptable when it's all on the inside.]

most of the time these people arent ugly but since they are so superficial and shallow that they HAVE to rely on just their LOOKS to feel like they are worth something, then yeah you arent beautiful. if you cant accept what god gave you then you should be shot.

[Like YOU don't wear makeup. Anything can stand a little improvement. Think about it, why get an education if you simply want to accept what God gave you? Sure, you can take improvements too far, and that's probably where you're going, but that's not what you've said.]

people like britney spears and people who THINK they are britney spears or people who WANT to be britney spears make me want to vomit. why anyone would listen to and worship this whore who has nothing good to contribute to society except shoving her fake boobs

[What does ANY pop idol have to contribute to society? Why do they HAVE to? Truth be told, however, a good portion of celebs do charity/PR work, which even if it's self-serving, is more than the regular joe-schmoe does. What do YOU do to contribute to society?]

in our faces any chance she gets and who has the intelligence of dryer lint should be put to sleep.another thing, i HATE i mean HAAAAAATTTTTEEEE girls who get butterfly tattoos. people think they are rebels or original or cute or whatever, but how can you be like that when HALF THE TATTOOED FEMALE POPULATION HAS ONE?!?!?!?!?! when people show me their butterfly tattoos,

[So roses, the grim reapers, tribals, and those Grateful Dead bears are all originals?]

i run to the nearest trast receptical and blow the contents of my stomach. another thing, when peoples screen names are like cutegirlxoxo or sweetheart or blondefreakydevil or sweetluv or secretcrush or hotsexygrl4u or something equally as disgusting(and what makes it even MORE disgusting is that these are people i KNOW!

[I know that YOU are not jonin', DANYELL.]

i did not put their full screen names because yeah it IS tempting to message them talking about how nauseating they are).

[I'd just talk about you, really, if I contacted them. I'd probably say something to the effect that they have a two-faced friend, then I'd show them your application.]

i could go on forever but i'll save all my other comments for when i become a member!

[Hold your breath. Seriously, hold your breath. Some people say, "Don't hold your breath," but I don't care if you get a headache.]

but one more thing... I used to have a back license plate cover that said BITCH GODDESS and would smile if someone with children in the front seat was driving in back of me

[Oh, you rebel. Kids are an EASY target.]

and wouldnt care what people thought when i parked my car at church on sunday morning(it has since faded and is no longer readable, hey i got it from the dollar store what do you expect?)

[Considering the source? Not very much.]

being a heartless bitch is something to be PROUD of and should not be taken as an insult!

[At last, we agree.]

One Liner:
If you can't handle the answer, then don't ask the question.

[I trust that you'll take this rejection on the chin.]



Name: Michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I go to school to better MYSELF.

[You need all the bettering you can get.]

Hate (His) ex wife

[How's the relations with YOUR ex-wife?]

with every fiber of my being,

[This always makes me smile. Why care about the ex? You're the current, right? Why be insecure about it? This leads me to believe that either you are very immature, or he's not setting proper boundaries, in which case, you'd still be handling this immaturely.]

am as mean to my kids as possible IF YOU ASK THEM ANYHOW!! many other qualitys that I do without even trying!

[I can tell that you don't try.]

One Liner:
"is that all I'M gonna do is sit on the fucking computer all night everynight"..ummm YUP!

[This says it all.]



Name: Angela

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
when my ex-boyfriend told me he was gay and had in fact lost his gay little virginity,

[So why is he telling you?]

my friends and I sent him several official letters from Hell explaining that there is an explicit contract between Hell Inc. and Fags Inc.

[I'll concede the fact that Hell simply HAS to be incorporated, but FAGS? Maybe you mean Disney? This contract idea helps me understand why the minions of Jesus™ are so stupid, as a general rule, although I doubt many of you would know where to sign without the little X.]

He didn't like that much.

[I think the part he probably didn't like was realizing that you really weren't his friend. I'd imagine he'd lost many "friends" along the way. It's never easy to realize that those you call friends aren't really friends, but it is preferable to dragging along someone as dull and stupid as yourself around. My appreciation to you for helping him cut the dead wood from his address book.]

One Liner:
I hate children, have a personal vendetta against men, and I sneer at the fashion-challenged. What are your hobbies?

["Collecting spores, molds and fungus"--and other dregs of the internet to mock publicly.]



Name: Jen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
ooookay, pour a glass of wine, grab the comfy chair, a couple cigarettes and a pen to chew on, and off I go...

[Oral fixation--check.]

Once upon a long time ago, there was a smart, skinny, scared blond teenager who grew blonder as she got older and (helped along by that wonderful little invention referred to as

[Miss Clairol?]

'the pill') also gained double D breasts and a serious self-esteem problem.

[Being busty DOES hamper your self-esteem. I really HATE these modern-day fairy tales.]

Helped along of course by those charming and sensitive intelligence-related comments by male friends such as "You scored 99% on that final exam in college? Who did you sleep with?".

[You're blond and busty...who helped you fill out this application?]

As the years went by and no one ever looked her in the face, she grew more despondent, ever blonder and reached "E" in the "funbag" department.

[Woe is you. Who the hell calls them funbags?]

In some strange fit of insanity, she fought back

[Who was fighting you?]

by wearing a brush cut for 10 years. Although, in hindsight, she must admit that being perceived by every drunken idiot in bars as a blonde lesbian with big tits may not have been a more comfortable fire to leave the frying pan for.

[Lesbianism is MORE than a haircut, nimrod. I thought you said that you were smart.]

Finally, she left her small home town, and by degrees, had breast reduction surgery, dyed her hair brown and let it grow a little bit. Deciding that the best way to fight the seemingly

[You were truly convinced that all your problems stemmed from the way you LOOKED?]

established rules of engagement was from the "inside" she moved from one male-oriented field to another, distinguishing herself in each and finally ending up as the only female technician for a major phone company in Canada. Believing, in her innocence, that her superior quality of work

[She couldn't have done this as a blonde, however.]

and obvious intelligence would win the day, she persisted in her naive way to carry the workload of her male 'peers', until one day she woke up and realized she had spent at least the last three years of her life being undervalued, devalued and harassed. Just because it was no longer about her breasts or her hair color didn't make it any less appalling or acceptable.

[What time is sunrise on your planet? It was NEVER about your hair or tits, kiddo.]

So, she threatened legal action, left her 'career' behind - aided by a tasty little buy-out to carry her through while she contemplated her next brave move into what she thought of as her 'new

[Basically, she talked herself into unemployment.]

life'. Now, she is armed with pride in herself and her abilities; her battle lessons (she may not have won the 'war' but boy, did she ever learn a lot of GREAT stuff along the way); a healthy understanding of what TO and NOT TO tolerate; a witty, cutting retort for most of those stupid lines and an affectionate nickname she is proud to know indicates full acceptance and respect (while indicating a certain amount of healthy male fear) - "Mantis".

[Chances arrrrree...good you'll never get a clue. Oh, you said ManTIS, not MatHIS.]

It was a long haul, Ladies, and may have been the wrong way to go about it, but boy, do I feel great. Unless of course, I end up in the Weak of the Week.

[Maybe you'll learn something ELSE from your journey HERE.]

I thought that a personal, admittedly much-abridged version, history of my fight to discover and accept my innate heartless bitchiness and revel in it may indicate a tad more thought than one big long rant about the horrible injustice of it all.

[It certainly did, just not as you hoped.]

Then again, long road or not, it was the way I chose and those things that are hard-won are the sweetest of all. Or are they?

[What do you think?]

One Liner:
Since you don't seem to a) understand the true definition of "cougar" and b) seem to think it's flattering to be called that by a sloppy, pathetic, drunken 21 year old - I'm having a hard time understanding why CALLING me one will make me want to fuck you.

[Help him out. What COULD he call you to make you want to fuck him?]



Name: stark

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i have manic depression.it is mine.

[All yours, baby.]

i've had it up to here with all this pc bullshit that says i can't make fun of myself and my disease just cos its in bad taste.

[By all means, make fun of yourself. I sure will.]

fuck them and the horses they rode in on. if i want to have a website mocking MY mental illness,

[It's probably a sign of one of your illnesses, anyway.]

i will. and if they don't like it, they can kiss my ass. oh, and if they don't stop sending me mealy-mouth objections i'm gonna bite their fingers off so they can't type.

[Do you know how much gristle is in a finger?]

One Liner:
im so bad i'd kick supermans ass

[Considering he's currently in a wheelchair....]



Name: bananasquid

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I dated Him for approximately 6 months. He thought it was love; I wasn't so sure.

[And you never told him otherwise.]

Then, on the day before his birthday,

[...because I'm too cheap to spring for a gift.]

I wrote him a letter and slipped it into his luggage to find when he got back to school. I dumped him with a "Sorry, I don't love you, but it's been fun" sort of thing.

[I'll bet that you signed your name just to make sure that he knew it was from you.]

One Liner:
It doesn't matter how much you love me; I'm probably only playing along.

[It evens out, I guess. They're only playing THROUGH.]



Name: K

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
they all pretend to be something they are not to get a woman,

[I think anyone's a liar in the dating game.]

they pretend until they run out of money, they act like they are being kind and generous becuase they love you and then become insulted that it doesn't make you dependent on them, (what a surprise).

[You should set a price right at the beginning of the date. For instance, you could just tell them that blowjobs are $80, and a handjob is $40, or even, "Sucky, Fucky, Five-Bucky." This way they can budget, and you don't have to worry about them thinking that you will be dependent on them. It's simply a cash transaction now.]

One Liner:
frogs

[I wonder what the set-up for this one-liner would sound like.]



Name: CASSIE

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
What does a real Bitch got to do to get on this thing?

[Write something worth reading.]

I am a real Bitch because I WILL NOT GIVE UP UNTIL I DO!

[That's the spirit.]

One Liner:
If I wanted to smile I would!

[They mean bend over.]





Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
go to top

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Home
Search HBI
HBI FAQ
   Rants
   Collected Quotes
   The Manipulator Files
   Nice Guys? BLEAH
   Links
    I'M NOT BITTER...
   Auntie Dote
   Honorary HBs
   Adult Books
   Kids Books
   Privacy Policy
   Awards
   HBI Sitings

---

Want to link to HBI?



  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)


Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email:

Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz

Add this Content to Your Site