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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst Membership Applications

For the Week of September 15, 2002
edited by



Name: Jeremy

UserID : hbletmein

[Not by the hair on your mother's back, er...chinny-chin-chin.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm so fucking sick and tired of women walking around with crossed arms.

[Wait until you see the pretzels they make with their legs when you're around.]

I mean for God's sake - are you trying to hug yourself to hold your tits up, or get warm, or maybe your man just doesn't hug you enough.

[It's how we shield ourselves from stupidity. You're not looking long enough. We cross our arms, nod our heads, and POOF! Major Nelson's wishes are granted, as silly as they are.]

Whatever the reason - stop it! You look like a stupid self-concious useless tit of a woman.

[If women are crossing their arms around you, it's not THEM. Paging Jeremy: Please pick up the clue phone on the Lido Deck.]

One Liner:
Ranting - Slagging - Stabbing - Shut the fuck upping.

[I thought you'd never figure that out.]



Name: Stuti

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
... no one around me is worthy of respect. Everyone falls out at some level. This world is so full of kacky shit.

[Khaki? Cocky? I think ca-ca is a bit redundant there.]

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

[Ah yes. I remember seeing this on the periodic table under "D'oh."]

I need IQ in the people I get along with

[EVERYBODY has IQ. Some just more than others.]

- so it has to be said - I DON'T get along with too many people. And since NONE of these people pay me, I don't see the POINT in being nice to them.

[You don't strike me as a person who would be nice even with financial compensation.]

What do I get out of it? Flowers on my birthday? They can stuff it up their own.

[If you see it that way, you SHOULD fly solo.]

I've used people, and I've abused people - and just for the record, I'm might proud of it.

[At least you're not wondering WHY you're alone.]

I'm intolerant because I am an intellectual.

[I'm intolerant (of shit) because I'm busy. Your intolerance is because you're self-centered.]

I'm critical because I have a RIGHT to be.

[You DO have the right to be an asshole. You're abusing that, however.]

I hate people who kill themselves over their stupid identity problems. I have BIGGER problems. Where to get dynamite from..

[If you were such a brainiac, you'd know how to make it.]

One Liner:
This world is half- composed of idiots. I'm just clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.

[Who has the time to be bothered with them?]



Name: aisha

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i don't give a fuck about anyone.people always using you for shit.i hate men cuz they are stupid dogs,they all need to be put on a planet of there own.

[They are. We're all on a planet of our own. What color is the sky on yours?]

One Liner:
men are only good for 5 things.there good for spending your money, lying to you, fucking your friend, fucking up your credit,and 2 mintues of hard sex!

[I see. Your problem isn't men. Your problem is that you keep everything in your pussy.]



Name: Jo

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I could call my golddigging cousin a worthless little barbie doll on her wedding day if needs be.

[First of all, you didn't. Don't waste my time with what you WOULD do. AND, this isn't Heartless Bitch behavior, it's JEALOUS Bitch behavior. If you can't express yourself BEFORE the wedding, hold your peace. It ain't about you.]

I can also go tell my mother to take a hike when she tells me to lower my voice and act ladylike (I love her to death...till death do us part that is).

[Are you still living at home? Is she still feeding you? You ingrate.]

Instead of putting acrylic on the dead cells at the tip of my fingers,

[I guess "fingernails" would have been just too plebeian?]

slathering my face in chemicals, and starving myself to get thinner thighs I would rather just be me for chrissakes ! Please just let me be me !

[You take things to extremes. Why don't you talk about something more substantial than beauty if it bugs you?]

I breathe, I make mistakes, I go to school, I compete with the "boys,"

[*Yawn* So who doesn't?]

I'll keep my last name dammit,

[With your charming attitude, you may not have much choice.]

sometimes my favorite vacation is from one side of the bed to the other side of the bed,

[Hence the concern from family members over your thinner thighs. It's not about fat, it's about health. Lazing about just ain't healthy if you do it too often.]

I like to guffaw, I like to eat, I can be sexy,

[Dead sexy.]

if he can do it then by god I'm going to try to do it, and lastly, all I need I got up in my noggin. If you don't like it...do I look like I care? I mean who are you anyway?

[The woman who is denying your application.]

One Liner:
If you don't like it...buh bye!

[Ding that.]



Name: Elizabeth

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
as I was being dropped off at work one morning after a date that lasted all night-I run a moving company-one of the jerk drivers said, just loud enough for everyone in town to hear " I wonder if the guy KNOWS he is f**king Attila the Hun?". So, I fired him and his attitude and drove the truck myself!

[Your problem isn't his attitude. Your problem is that you bring too much of your private life to work.]

One Liner:
I am a sweetheart 90% of the time and the other 10% I was provoked.

[It's not YOUR fault,though, right? As long as you don't have to be responsible for what you do....]



Name: Hannah

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a heartless bitch because the word 'bitch' originates from the hebrew name hana(hannah) so in pysco mumbo jumbo terms i am a bitch.

[This works if you believe that people named "Joy" are really dish detergent.]

..full stop plus i recently had my heart ripped out by a b**tard of an ex who i found with sum random girl between his legs...nice so i am bitch heartless rearranged as hearless bitch

[Wouldn't he be between HER legs?]

One Liner:
yesterday i told a girl she smelt just 4 the hell of it and yeah she reeks of stale fish.

[Then it wasn't for the hell of it. There is a tactful way to tell people that they stink.]

..when she burst out crying and asked 4 my forgivness for all the times she was a beeytach i literally slapped that bitch up!

[Don't take out your anger on strangers.]





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