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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of September 1, 2002
edited by



Name: Nichole

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My friend "Jane" dated this guy, "Dick", once.

[Some of us make repeated dates with "Dick"---that lucky stiff.]

Now shes obsessed with the idea he will come back to her, eventhough he has married someone else.

[Yikes. That's not a good sign. Why are we talking about "Jane" anyway?]

"Dick" will make dates with "Jane" and stand her up,

[If "Dick" makes dates with THIS "Jane," all he needs to do is STAND up.]

leaving her to look like the fool, which she is for buying into his B.S!!!

[None of this has anything to do with YOU, however.]

"Jane" claims to hate him, but wont tell him how she feels for fear he wont talk to her again.

[A talking Dick? That's a medical miracle...no, it's just an annoyance. Who cares what a dick has to say?]

WAKE UP HONEY!!! He don't want you, he just wants to play mind games with you because you make it sooo damn easy!!!! Put him in his place, let him know he cant continue to do this to you, and tell him how you've come to feel inside!!! I'll be damned if ANY man/woman is gonna have me walking on egg shells!!!

[I see that you spent your precious time gossiping about your friend, however. Not only is "Jane" bad at picking men, she's bad at picking friends, too.]

One Liner:
I'd rather be a distinguished bitch than a pathetic door mat, constantly stepped on with shit on the bottom of everyones shoes.

[Not everybody actually WALKS in shit. Don't YOU avoid it when you can?]



Name: Jessica

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I get pissed off when I see those "Send a dollar a day to help a poor African child".

[I can see why that would piss you off. It reminds you of how greedy and gluttonous you are, and it just trivializes your day-to-day life "crises."]

Those damn sluts should stop breeding like rabbits if they can't afford that many kids.

[They should get off that--AFRICAN--welfare, too.]

What pisses me off most are those people who are against abortions.

[Have you seen some of those hospitals? I'd be against SURGERY.]

A fetus is NOT a human being, and should be destroyed if a woman wants it to be.

[I think abortion should be retroactive, but only when I talk to a real asshole.]

Also, I agree with hitler.

[Here YOU go.]

All mentally and physically chalenged people should be destroyed, or sent away to an island to try and survive for themselves.

[I'll charter a ship for you.]

They're just a waste of time, money, and air!

[Not to mention bandwidth.]

One Liner:
I don't care about your problems or concerns, and I specially don't care about you.

[There's only room for ONE tiny little idea in that pointed head of yours.]



Name: Kathy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My heartless bitchiness runs mainly to the thrill of the hunt, capture of prey, 'playing' with them until they prove unworthy of my time. Then I tend to become unavailable or too busy to spend time with them. The poor Beasties run after me whining that they don't understand, They love me, and beg me to explain what happened.The look in their eyes when I use little words to explain that they are just too insipid and classless to waste my life on is just priceless!!

[My eyes would glaze over, too. You say that they are unworthy, but you spend all that time on the hunt, and the capture, not to mention playing with them. Not only are you disturbed, you're a big fat liar.]

One Liner:
Once you have your claws around their hearts,

[Claws go IN, not around. Maybe you mean fingers or tendrils?]

The biggest men will perform like little monkeys.

[Just remember, the monkey and the guy who turns that hurdy-gurdy are a duo act.]



Name: Berni

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
you really need to ask

['Fraid so.]

... hell when I threw my ex and his son out of MY house I not only threw them out but I kept all the ex's stuff.

[What did his son ever do to you?]

Let it be known in all the chatrooms that he liked having a dildo in his Ass not to mention kicked his ass.lol and this is just small potatoes

[VERY small potatoes. If I was out on the street without MY stuff, I wouldn't care what you said about me in a chatpit.

I wouldn't care even IF I WASN'T out on the street.]

One Liner:
because men were put here on this earth for one reason and one reason only TO PLEASE ME and he or they better dayum sake do it or they can hit the bricks

[Sake? Oh, I could use a glass about now.]



Name: Tressa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am tired of expecting the gentleman and getting the asshole. I am tired of going into a ""relationship"" (heaven forbid I say that word) ,thinking I have my eyes "open" and have my guard "up", only to have yet another reason to get fucked. I am tired of giving my mind, BODY and soul to someone

[Can't you just hear the whine? Sure ain't Sake.]

, ..someones.., and in retuen getting a huge credit card bill, an album of pictures, a head full of memories, and a broken heart. I do not understand the male species, BUT I do not expect myself to, because I am of the female species and we are so much more higher on the evolutionary scale.

[Behold the female version of the "Nice Guy." Honey, this is YOUR problem, not theirs. Get therapy to see why you keep finding yourself attracted to losers. You'll be glad that you did. I'll ignore the fact that male and female are two genders, not species.]

One Liner:
I will go head to head with whoever..even better if it is a male, it only fuels me. The solution to the worlds problems are summed up in one word..castration ( not chemical..PAIN...physical)

[Common Sense, that's TWO words.]



Name: Kristin

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Someone told me once that you will feel "good" if you shell out at least ten compliments a day. I tried this out for a while. I basically found that people generally don't give a shit about any sort of intellectual compliments. "Wow, you're a genius" does not sounds as good as "Of course it looks like you wear a double d" (too bad it's an illusion created by 5 shoulder pads...) So instead I've implemented a new system. Every day I try to be a heartless bitch to at least 5 people. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around telling everyone to go to hell or anything, but I commit proper bitch acts where they are do. For example, my boyfriend decided to leave his unwashed, cold sore infested friend at my house while he stopped at his work. His friend proceeded to sit at the kitchen table with me and talk to his friend on his cell phone about whether or not he "stuck it" or not. When he went to the bathroom, I took his phone and called my friend in Stockholm. She wasn't home, so I left the phone on. When he came back he absentmindedly put the phone back into his pocket. Yay.

[Why not just ask Herpes-man to leave? No muss, no fuss, and no danger of contact with the herpes-infected mouthpiece.]

One Liner:
Being a heartless bitch is not about hating the world or being a generally mean person. It's about recognizing ignorance, and reacting to it in a way that ignorant people can actually understand.

[It's a tragedy that you can't apply this to what you do.]



Name: susan

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I abhor being verbally abused by a stranger in a bar when having a nice drink with my mates; especially one not clever enough to insult me with distinction by calling me a 'frigid cow' when I at least commanded enough word power to retort with 'misogynistic philistine'

[When you're playing the insult game, the trick is not how large a word you can muster, but how deadly an insult you can deliver.

Then again, maybe he was just a bit drunker than you.]

and then to cap it all he looks hurt when told that if I ever want to embrace frigidity then it is exactly a man like him that would do it for me!

[Better. You need to work on delivery.]

One Liner:
Say hello to my BIG friend .....buzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

[Isn't that BOB?]



Name: Patricia

[Her link says that she's some kind of "Psychic" Friend. She tells the future! Do you think she knew she'd be on THIS page?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm sick of brain dead people, whiners, men who expect me to be their co-dependents, women ditto, and just plain clueless so-called humans.

[Now I'm NEVER going to use your psychic powers. Couldn't you see that in the cards?]

One Liner:
Were those your feelings? I thought I stepped in dogshit!

[You can't tell dogshit from emotion? You're wackier than I thought.]



Name: Donna

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I used to be sweet but all the needy, over-sensitive people turned me into a rabid, rapier tongued, anti-social bitch.

[As long as it's not YOUR fault.]

Somewhere, along the road of my life, I began to notice how incredibly stupid people are and how they simply love to wallow in their stupidity, nurture it even. If I tell them they are stupid, they look hurt and confused and they they call me mean, nasty and vile. At no point do they ever actually consider why I would say that to them.

[Hence the STUPID part of their nature, right?]

And then there are the emotionally high maintenence, over sensitive set...I tell them over and over that I are tired of them calling/emailing me evey 10 minutes to regale you with their latest drama queen moment. I tell them not to leap on me the minute I log into chat. I outrightly tell them "do not call me or email me, I do not want to talk to you!" and 10 minutes later, the email is coming in, the instant message pops up AND they call to tell me, usually tearfully, that I've crushed their gentle spirits and they will never be the same again. Boo fucking hoo. Get a clue and get off my monitor and phone!

[You keep answering them, don't you? Find a way to deal with these pests, or just accept it, but don't whine about them contacting you when you know damned well you can cut them all off with a few button clicks.]

Simply put, there are way too many people who should never be unleashed on the unsuspecting population.

[You weren't trying to exclude yourself, were you?]

One Liner:
Never argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you from experience.

[That's why I prefer to mock them publicly.]



Name: Shannon

UserID : bitcho

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I first realized that I was somewhat different when I was high school. Those were the eighties/early nineties, those were the days when chicks were expected to pour sugar on any mulleted fat ass that

[Hey! Back then Mullets were HOT. You'd know that if you went to school in the 80's/90's. Hell, I'll bet that you had one, either that or "Mall" bangs.]

came around the pike and, in large part, they did. Except me. I did not pour the sugar. I found it mediocre and insulting to my intelligence. Still do.

[I'll bet you served up some Sweet Cherry Pie, though.]

(Sorry, Kid Rock, you visionless bore.) I am now pushing thirty and I feel very much the same. I see women and men using what's easiest and having the audacity to expect me to care. Which, of course, I don't.

[Yet you write about it here. That doesn't suggest "not caring."]

One Liner:
Tremble before me.

[Hypnotized, I'm shakin' to my knees
I gotta know tonight
If you're alone tonight
Can't stop this feeling
Can't stop this fire

Oh, *YOU* get hysterical....]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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