[Mail with love from Fark.com]

Name: Christopher

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Ill leave the bitching to the pros.

[I'll just file the rest of this under "gibbering monkey-talk."]

Im a little pre occuppied solving THE UNIVERSE with the aim of tackling the worlds problems to deal with that toilet that wont flush.

[I'd prefer a little practicality. It's nice to have your head in the clouds, but when you're surrounded by shit, you've got to reprioritize, unless you LIKE sitting in steaming piles of shit.]

It will have to wait along with the several million other catastrophies of that magnitude that occur dailly in some womens lives.

[Which is likely why women of yore learned to do that shit for yourself (a stance we actively endorse). Waiting for a man to get off his ass and do it for you usually means that you'll be swimming in shit until he does.]

LOVE YOUR SITE! I SENT IT TO MY DAUGHTERS, guess why? got here via FARK.COM

[You tore yourself away from BOOBIES to come here, didn't you?]

One Liner:
Nice homepage princess,sorry sweety but,no,the sun doesnt shine out that fat ass

[Actually, it DOES shine on my ass. The sun makes no distinctions about shining on asses.]

you thought i should see in the sexy section, nor does it revolve around you.

[Make up your mind. I'm fat, right? The size of a small planet, roughly, right? Therefore, I have my OWN atmosphere, and the sun DOES revolve around me. Where is this sexy section? Boobies? Wrong site.]

Random Farker (fucker)

i love , i mean LOVE, how you see and say so clearly all the shit ! the mass psychosis of it all, the me  me me me ness of it all id love to spend some time with you! 

[But you are.]

[Back to our normally scheduled column.]

Name: alice of wonderland

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i help brake up relationships

[She works at GoodYear.]

and xclude partners

[]

One Liner:
blonde dum and stupid

[Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not REALLY a blonde.]

Name: Gareth

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm more of a slave to heartless bitches.

[Uh-oh. "Nice guy" alert.]

I've only had one girlfriend in my entire life (I'll be 25 in a couple of months) and she happened to be a heartless bitch who treated me like shit and even called me her "slave boy."

[Are you complaining or bragging?]

I think I'm a masochist and actually LIKE being treated that way.

[You've got to be SURE about that sort of relationship.]

Are you an "equal opportunity" community, or am I automatically disqualified for possessing a penis?

[You are disqualified for BEING a penis.]

One Liner:
militant agnostic: I don't know and you don't either

[*Snort* The reason that there's rampant ignorance in the world.]

[The Lint Filter:]

dave

hmmmm. lots of crap.

[In his pants. It's been a big day.]

Really. a big load of disfunctional crap I don't mind bitches.

[We certainly mind you.]

Or even Heartless Bitches. Generally, the Bitchier women are, the hotter we perceive them ,

[Perceive my foot upside your ass.]

and the better the relationship, especially in bed. Any man who can't handle a bitch, probably isn't any fun at all.

[Certainly some of the men who write to us aren't.]

Name: Deanna

Hey- Thanks for the feedback. I took the personality test and passed,

[I can't believe that you had one.]

but there's a lot more to the heartless bitch mind set than I realized. I'd like to hear more about this "defense mechanism" perceived in the application.

[You fuckers just don't know when to quit. Don't try to get my attention with this little ploy. Do your own legwork. I don't provide an answer page.]

I wouldn't pollute this board with meaningless crap.  I can always improve my communication skills, but I'm still me, and I won't turn my butt up to be kicked too many times before I lose interest.

[Feel free to leave at any time. I'm not at your service.]

 Say what you mean and mean what you say (cliche). I did learn something from the experience of the application, however. My opinion isn't necessarily wrong when folks may disagree. 

[What's this about? Is conversation with you about who is right and who is wrong?]

P. S. Best wishes to a great ass-kicking site.
Meanwhile we are enjoying a great Alaskan summer, although short. I'm going to play with my pussy now.  He's 15 lbs. and begging for attention

[You have a 15 lb. pussy? Seriously, I thought you said he was a kitten.]

- and he is a Maine Coon Cat. The guys are off catching fresh Alaskan Spot Shrimp now in the worst of weather. They are going to have a great shrimp dinner waiting for me when I get home Friday night.   

[Are we girlfriends? No. I don't care about this. Make friends somewhere else.]

Name: DEONICA

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because basically I don't take shit from anyone or anytime,

[I don't take shit from anytime either.]

and if I feel like I need or want something I go after what's mine.

[It's not yours if you have to go after it.]

I don't go for all the whining and shit I just handle the situation how it comes. I let no one walk on me I'm just a down ass chick.

[Willing to go to jail for your man? That's a DUMB ass chick.]

One Liner:
Watch your man around me

[You're one of THOSE.]

Name: jessica

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I dont take bullshit from anyone. if someone wants to start sumthing, ill bitchslap them across town!

[Do you have any idea of how long that is? Just slap them around the block. It will make your point without taking up too much of your day.]

no one messes with me or they have to take my bullshit.

[Keep it in your pockets?]

i hate people who think there better then everyone.

[We hate you back.]

One Liner:
i like pushing old people down flights of stairs

[Rhoda? Is that you? (Obscure movie reference.)

cuz there just as helpless as the rest of the world is, and i rule the army of my flowers

[Pansies, daisies, and tulips.]

Name: Hannah

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have a theory about pain. All pain experienced by humanity is the same, whether it's caused by the sports car your daddy didn't buy for you or by the ass-fucking he did give you.

[The theory is flawed. Get a papercut, then break your arm.]

Therefore I believe that all pain should be respected as equally valid.

[The fact that you are a pain in my ass should be the equivalent of someone else's bone marrow transplant? Get real you fucking whiner.]

See, if you can accept all pain as equal, it evens out the "experience" board--no one person can claim superiority (through suffering or triumph over suffering) based on what has happened to them.

[You've got to be real. If you want to be the top dog in pain and suffering, go get hurt. Until then, you've got to accept the fact that you're just a whiner when you encounter someone with a REAL problem.]

This means that you can judge all people solely on their reactions to their pain or actions to prevent pain or bring about joy.

[You really want to redefine your world to accommodate your needs.]

I don't know if I explained that very well. It's not "tough love." It's just "fair love."

[It's rationalized stupidity.]

I hold everyone accountable for their own actions, with little consideration to extenuating factors. Why? Because, for the most part, everyone is equipped with the same faculty for controlling their own life.

[True. This has nothing to do with the above.]

Those who do really have extenuating factors holding them back (like major economic, mental, or other challenges) often support this very sentiment. Those that dispute this claim are usually weak fools who serve only to fuck up the new generations of humans that come along by encouraging or commanding them to dissavow their power over themselves.

[Not true. I support holding everyone accountable, but the rest of your theory is out to lunch.]

Seems like the Heartless Bitches have a similar mindset--though they might put it in less ostentious words.

[We'd use more rational words. We'd let the harm or injury speak for itself.]

One Liner:
When you realize you don't measure up to your own standards, you can do two things. You can move your ass into gear and change or you can have the consolation that you're good enough to own up to not being good enough. Only the first choice is worth telling other people about.

[]

Name: Chawclit1

URL : nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Okay.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
What just because they eat me and I kick them out before they get theirs i'm a heartless bitch?

[Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Seriously. You don't get repeat business, do you?]

One Liner:
Get mines and get up!!!!! So what if they haven't!!!!!!

[Meet the wrong partner one day and you'll see "so what." Just because battery is a crime doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.]