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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of July 7, 2002
edited by



Name: Amy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I care very little about people I don't knows problems, so your boyfriend is cheating on you... cheat on him!

[Fighting fire with fire doesn't stop your house from burning down.]

And all those lovey dovey couples... whats up with that? I mean, they should get a room or something, I don't want to see them have sex in the middle of the street!

[Think of it as free porn.]

And all those guys that "fall in love with you" are just setting themselves up because I don't care about love... or them!

[You should tell them this. I'm sure they'd be grateful to hear your confessions.]

One Liner:
I think that men are just another thing to make women suffer and that "poor helpless" girls really need to come back to reality...

[If women are suffering because of men, 9 times out of 10, it's their own damned fault.]



Name: Jena

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a Heartless Bitch because men can all kiss my ass!

[Each and every one of them? Do you really have that kind of time to spare?]

Everything in the damn bedroom is always about them.

[Oh ho ho. Exert a little sexual assertiveness. You have NO idea of what you're missing.]

What about what women want in the bedroom. They gotta sit on there ass and watch sport shit all day while we clean the house.

[Marketing DEPENDS upon people like you.]

I don't think so. They can get off there lazy ass and do shit to thank you very much. I wasn't born to be your maid...I was born to get what I want outta of life!

[Are you going to start DOING it, or are you just going to whine about how you don't now, but you will SOMEday, SOMEhow.]

One Liner:
I'm a girl with an attitude so, I'll do what I want when I want and if you got a problem with it....kiss my ass!

[You really want some assplay, don't you? Just TELL him.]



Name: Richie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
it's my birthday today and I didn't tell my five year old daughter just so I could say later that she forgot :-(

[It's really sick and sad to torment a kid. It's even more pathological when that kid is your own. Seek help this very instant.]

One Liner:
Trust no one, deny everything and blame everybody else.

[This is key when you're demented.]



Name: Carin

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was in a relationship where me and the guy mutually used each other.

[Sounds like a match made...well, somewhere.]

He dumped me (although I didn't know we were going out).

[Those kinds of details are pretty crucial. You should always get a name, address, marital status, and whether or not YOU are the new girlfriend.]

My inexperience/youth left me humiliated because I didn't have enough backbone to say what I really thought and I was made to look like the poor dumped girlfriend.

[On the bright side, you were using him, too. For what, I have NO idea. You don't really convince me with the victim schtick.]

He was a loser. I found out that he died last year crushed by the one thing he did love, his truck. (His truck had curtains in the window, for crying out loud). The bitch in me has some satisfaction knowing I will never have to see him again.

[If you had any bitch IN you, it wouldn't take death for you to realize that you don't have to see this loser again.]

One Liner:
You want it up the ass???

[Seems to be pretty popular this week.]



Name: Ashley

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I felt that my boyfriend was getting pretty FUCKING annoying because he was such a whiny lil baby. So, at prom,

[So you kept this annoying baby around so you could go to prom with a date. Why do you think it's bitchworthy?]

I grabbed the mic from the dj and let everyone know it!! I said that I had been cheating on him and grabbed some random guy and kissed him good (hard and long)!!

[Why didn't you get the guy you're cheating with to take you? Too cheap to spring for the tux? Furthermore, what did your boyfriend do to deserve that kind of humiliation? Acting like that doesn't really embarrass him as much as it embarrasses you.]

Everyone stared at him and started laughing.

[Probably because he had a date like you.]

He left prom. He didn't come to school for another week, and when he did, he wouldn't talk to anyone. >:) That's the kind of heartless bitch that I am!!

[It was a pretty shitty thing to do, but it just speaks to your irrational state of mind as well as your immaturity.]

One Liner:
I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot!!
Bitchin, great hair, the boys all love to stare!!

[Yes, she really IS a cheerleader. You should finish the quote. It ends with "I swear I'm not a whore".]



Name: Fugi

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
song lyrics to "Lover' @ fugi 2002

[Yes, she really DID submit them. I've deleted them because of her copywrite, but I'll just let you know that they were typically trite. I think trite works in song, but it looks like shit in print.]

One Liner:
"I wish that I could fix my wings I wish that I could fly I'd tell my husband and my kids to kiss my ass goodbye"

[Yet another woman who made some seriously bad life choices and wants to escape her responsibilities.]



Name: Nancy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have no time to deal with whiners, be they male or female. My daughter has been the most recent person to make me feel like a heartless bitch. I am a chronic pain patient, and some days I can't even walk, let alone do my own housework. Four months ago, my daughter and her 3-year-old moved back home with us because her ex-boyfriend had threatened her life - not the first loser she has been involved with.

[Wonder where she learned that one.]

When I got tired of asking her nicely to pick up after herself, she got mad and moved out. She is 21, it's past time she grew up.

[I agree. Adult children SHOULD be adults and overcome their pasts. However, this doesn't forgive a parent for being a shitty parent. Your child is as you made her, slovenly, sloppy, and uncaring about herself.]

I raised my daughter most of her life on my own.

[Why? Fate or bad choices?]

Unfortunately, because of that, she now feels it is her God-given right to blame me for any and all mistakes she makes, even though she left home at 16.

[You don't see something wrong when a child leaves home before they finish school? You don't find some responsibility for her in you at that age?]

Although she is my daughter and I love her dearly, I refuse to let her crap on me and manipulate me any more.

[Because if there's any manipulation to be done, dammit, YOU'RE going to do it.]

If that makes me the heartless bitch that she has been calling me, then I'm proud to bear the name.

[It makes you a shitty and selfish mom. Proud to bear THAT name?]

One Liner:
There are two proper responses to "Good morning!", being either "Prove it!" or "Only time will tell."

[The proper response is "Good Morning." The rest is just your pity-pot mentality. Stop whining about how miserable your life is, and start making it better. Really, the rest of the world doesn't get a narcotic prescription to cope, so I don't see why you're so upset.]



Name: Audra

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
...many of my thoughts and ideas, regardless of how well I can support them with fact and history, are rejected by peers. Why? They don't necessarily agree with the norm, or what has been accepted by the groupthink mentality of our politically-correct, anesthetically-numbed society.

[Ironically, she submits this with an email address that comes from a Christian website. This has got troll signs all over it.]

Ever since I can recall, I have always questioned ideas and conventions that did not make sense to me--it's this stupid little thing I do called "thinking".

[Oh, you little rebel, you.]

By engaging in this too-rarely-practiced activity, coupled with my fierce passion and rebelling independence, I tend to intimidate those who believe they can label me based on occupation, lifestyle, and dress. Some days I'm feminine, and other days I'm not.

[See how radical she is. SHE proves how she's label-free with MORE labels.]

On Fridays I'm an accounting manager, and on Saturdays I'm a motorcycling skydiver. I like to keep people guessing, and that makes many of them uncomfortable, as I'm not fitting into any certain mold.

[I think you fit into the rebel without a clue mold. You know, if molds were like crayons, you'd only have the 8 pack. This is why you think that you're so rebellious. You just don't know what's out there.]

I also carry a creative passion for adventure (both in and out of the bedroom) with the belief that being female does not necessarily equate with being submissive.

[I love the qualifier. It doesn't equate. If someone is submissive, it has little to do with gender because submissiveness occurs in both genders.]

One Liner:
Intelligence is much more destructive than the fist.

[What are you using your brainpower for?]



Name: Brennan

URL : www.now.org

[Pfft. Whatever.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I refuse to let myself be marked as my husband's property.

[I think they stopped the mandatory branding last year.]

I let him keep his name

[Was he in danger of losing it?]

and have let him, and anyone else who thinks that's wrong, know exactly where they can go and what they can do with themselves.

[Who gives a shit about your choice of last name, Angry Feminist for NO GOOD REASON?]

If his family has a problem with it, that's their own fucking problem and, as I told him, if he has a problem with it, he can go find himself an ignorant, blond airhead who doesn't know how to think for herself.

[That's it? That's the hotbed of your discontent? YOUR NAME? Way to go with the objectification of the blonde bimbo stereotype.]

One Liner:
If you don't like me because I'm a feminist and am not afraid to let people know that I am, than I sure as hell don't want to know you.

[I don't like you because you're an over-reactive feminist without a clue. It's like you just discovered this yesterday.]



Name: Jen

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I had this friend. At the time, I would say that it was cool to hang out with her. I could actually be the person I wanted to be and didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't.

[Yes, this sounds promising, doesn't it? Just remember, when you get that fourth blender for Christmas, it was nicely wrapped once, too.]

REASON #1: If you don't like me for the person I am, then screw you. I'm not changing and I like who I am.

[That really depends on who you are. It's cool to want to be your own person, and listening only to input from others is a real drag, still you've got to acknowledge feedback if you ever want to learn and grow.]

I don't carry around the attitude that I am a bitch; although I will admit that I am one at times.

[What does that mean to you?]

But...back to the friend. I could give you her name, but there's that part of me that's not completely heartless. For her privacy, I'll refer to her as Shana.

[I can tell that this will be unnecessarily long, brutal and painful, not to mention quite off topic.]

Shana was one of those girls who would jump from relationship to relationship to relationship and always kept her ex's telephone numbers programmed into her phone. If she wasn't going out, that night, with the guy of the moment, she would just call up one of those guys on the side.

[Sometimes you can judge a person by the company they keep.]

Shana was not a girl that slept around, either. She was one of those overly religious girls.

[And we ALL KNOW how they never do that.]

In fact, she's pentacostal.

[That changes EVERYthing.]

She's been engaged twice, both engagements falling apart due to the guy cheating on her. And it's not like they cheated due to the fact that she wasn't giving herself to him...I was informed of the details of her past sex life, even though I told her it was too much information. She even shared the same stories with friends of mine, whom she had just met.

[Love the lack of responsibility here. She "was informed" as if a little birdie dropped on her shoulder and whispered the details in her ear. I also love how she makes it sound like men have a contract for sex as soon as they have a relationship with you. If she doesn't put out, then he has a right to cheat?]

I'm sorry, but that's a bit inappropriate. Plus, what was she trying to gain, or prove.

[What are YOU trying to prove talking about her anyway?]

Anyway...she was dating a fellow co-worker, I'll call him Jose. She didn't want to be with Jose anymore, so she began to put me in the middle.

[Did you stay there? Own up to it. You didn't have to STAY in the middle, or even be put there if you didn't want to.]

He was too smart to get angry at me, though, thank God! He was upset with her. Her next tactic involved not calling him or returning any of his phone calls. But whenever he did manage to get a hold of her and invite her out to a nice dinner she'd always accept and then complain about it to me later. I told her, "If you're not happy, just tell him."

[I know someone who could follow her own advice.]

But she was far too chicken to do that so she screened her calls. Eventually I started to date this guy, Tim, and he was living with his best friend, Avery.

[What a derail.]

REASON #2: I told Tim, before we even started dating, that I was a bitch.

[That type of confession doesn't absolve YOU of any wrong-doing.]

Well, one day, while joking with Shana, I mentioned hooking her up with Avery.

[Why would you do that to someone knowing what a trainwreck she is?]

She of course loved the idea; I was only kidding. I didn't bring it up to Tim

[Or Shana.]

because I wasn't serious when I mentioned it. But Shana would ask me everyday if I had talked to Tim about it. Her relationship with Jose wasn't really over. She didn't want to be alone and was hanging out with her asshole ex-boyfriends. Everyday I heard the complaints that they were rude to her and would call her up and fight with her. I kept telling her, "Change your cell phone number," but she never did.

[What makes you think that you can give advice when you continue to stir the pot?]

She just couldn't face not having a boyfriend. Having a man in her life was a necessity, like oxygen. She was desperate and it was sickening. Tim and I finally introduced Shana to Avery.

[All of you deserve each other.]

They didn't hit it off.

[The sane and crazy mix like oil and water.]

Shana admitted to me that she wasn't even interested in Avery, but that didn't make any sense

[You're the expert in not making sense.]

because she called him everyday and left message after message after message on his answering machine. She would cry to me, "Why hasn't he called?" I tried to be supportive, I mean, at the time we were good friends.

[But why perpetuate the lie? You knew that he wasn't interested any more than she was. I forget who I'm asking.]

While Tim and I were out she would call me on my cell phone, and if I didn't answer, she would then call Tim's and she would be crying; completely depressed, sounding like she was contemplating her life because Avery wouldn't call her back. Tim and I tried to be good friends about it, but her constant calling and whining was beginning to be annoying. I

[Feel responsible a little? Why were you screening YOUR calls? Why not just change YOUR number? Why not just level with Shana in the first place? Look who I'm asking.]

didn't want to hang out with her. One day, at work, she comes up to me and says, "I never see you anymore." False, she continued to work out with me twice a week. "You're always out with Tim." "False, I see Tim once or twice a week. Knowing that she was upset, I gave up my weekend plans and invited her over to my place for a movie-pigging-out fest. She latched onto that idea right away.

[I can tell from your application that you were not seeing Shana as much as you used to. I don't understand why you exaggerate, but I do see why you are friends with Shana. Peas in the same fucked up pod.]

Shana is one of those people with a very dependent personality; she doesn't have her own life.

[You're one of those people who needs that to feel good about herself, and you kicked her aside when you found a man to do that for you.]

The decisions she makes about her life are determined by her friends and boyfriend. She went to college, because everyone else was doing it. She joined my gym, because I was doing it. She even began to act like me. People who can't be their own person piss me off. These people are easy to identify and she was one of them.

[I fail to believe that she stayed in college just to be part of the gang. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but if this pisses you off, why on earth didn't you do anything about it?]

Anyway...I keep going off on a tangent

[You've been on this tangent for a while. It's a good thing that I have no qualms about digging into irrational statements. I'm a bit masochistic that way.]

...That weekend, she was to meet me at my house. We talked

[Snore AND yawn. You don't want to be her friend, yet you still make plans and hang around her.]

at 7:00, she said she's be there soon, but first she had to drop something off at Avery's. I didn't hear from her until 10:00, apparently he had asked her to stay the night and everyone knows how the desperate and pathetic respond to such an offer. I was upset. I felt used.

[Serves you right, lunkhead. Thought you said that she didn't sleep around, though. I'd hate to see what behavior fits that description.]

I didn't hear from her for a week and when I did she was gushing about Avery. I was angry at her for being pathetic and weak and insecure. Pathetic because she had admitted for not being

[You actually sound a bit jealous here. Where was Tim?]

interested; weak because even after he blew her off for their first date, she accept his "apology" and arranged a second; and insecure because she'd cry when she didn't have a boyfriend. Shit went down at work. I'm a writer

[Well, some people call it that simply because they like to write, but I think it takes just a little bit more than that.]

and when I need to blow some steam I write down my thoughts in a notebook, well she took my notebook and made it public knowledge.

[So this is where you learned to change the names to protect the innocent? While it can be awkward to have your feelings exposed, had you been a less duplicitious person, it wouldn't have been this bad.]

People started threatening me and I had no idea what they were referring to until I noticed my notebook missing and approached Shana who pulled me aside

[How do you approach someone who pulls YOU aside?]

in a conference room and started screaming at me. She brought in others who verbally attacked me. It was horrible and at that moment I wrote her off.She apologized the next day, like it was nothing and still insists that I overreacted. I overreacted because I'm one year younger than she is and not as mature as she is.

[You didn't tell us what YOU did, though, did you? You've skipped right over it, and that's probably why the ends of your story don't mesh well.]

To Shana, maturity is all about age. She's stupid and I'm not writing any of this because of the shit she did to me, but because this is who she really is. This is why I am a heartless bitch.

[You're never going to be a Heartless Bitch because of someone else.]

I can be civil to her face while thinking, I hate you.

[So you're phony. Big honking deal.]

She's 21 years old and is attempting to get a degree in nursing and she can't even pass a basic math course. This is her third time at it. She also lacks common sense. Some people don't think that this is possible, lacking intelligence and common sense? She's blond, as am I, but she is what gives blonds a bad rep. You can read any blond joke and substitute her name and it could be an actually story of her life. She's one of the beauty queen girls, but not real pretty. She participated in pageants to be Miss "Town She Lives In" for years, but was always runner-up. She claimed the competition to be fixed. The year that she finally became Miss "Town She Lives In" it was due to the actual winner losing her crown. Being a "beauty queen" consumed her life as did boys.

[Just as jealousy is consuming yours. Befriending someone doesn't lend you their qualities, especially when your intentions are to gain something other than friendship. I think that you are a pretty shabby example of a human being.]

One year younger than her and I was more concerned about getting my degree and jump starting my writing career. She was trying to be the best damn Miss "Town She Lives In" there ever was. Conversations with her concerned her pagaent life and guys. It was getting to be pretty boring...thank God for the work turmoil!

[You could have ended your friendship with her at any time.]

I hated her and I hated her boyfriend.

[Which one? She had several.]

He's the really controlling type. He's been making my life a living hell. I've been with Tim for over a year, and Avery has been doing everything in his power to get me to break up with Tim.

[Now the truth comes out. You set up Avery with Shana to get back at him, didn't you? Learn to deal with the problems in your own life by being direct. P.S. Stop flirting with Avery behind Tim's back. Now I know why you're so upset with Shana's sleeping with him.]

I've wanted them to both get what they deserve for the longest time. Four months after they "hooked up," Shana was pregnant. Yep, little miss overly religious was living with Avery and pregnant. Her parents were pissed. Shana was a hypocrite...

[Actually, she isn't, if what you've said about her in the beginning was true. She's not changed her behavior, or her beliefs, one bit. You're just jealous because she's got Avery (sort of) and you're not the center of their attention, as you used to be.]

I hate hypocrites...she scolded a friend of ours about having a child out of wedlock and here she was, 21, pregnant, and not married. A total sin where she was from.

[It sounds like she's learned better from experience. Just as you will see your own hypocrisy in this application now that I've pointed it out for you. No need to thank me.]

I don't think there's anything wrong with women who get pregnant out of marriage, all I want is for that child to be well taken care of. But, Shana doesn't even know how to care for herself without someone telling her what to do. She's never had to be responsible, financially, for herself. Her parents provided everything for her, and still paid for her college even after she moved in with Avery. Of course, when her parents heard of the pregnancy, they told Shana, "Since you're adult enough to have a baby, you're adult enough to pay for your own college." Shana took this as a compliment. She was an adult because she was pregnant and on a daily basis she made people she worked with know that. "You have to be nice to me because I'm pregnant!" (Thank God she gives birth in 6 weeks.)

[I'd have some issues with Shana if SHE were the one applying. However, we're talking about your dumb ass, and you seem to be incidental in your own story, which screams false to me. It's apparent that you're concealing things.]

Yes, it's unfortunate, I work with her, but she was laid off.

[I believe that's called maternity leave.]

It is said that people eventually get what they deserve.

[You'd better hope and pray that's not true.]

Perhaps she would be an entirely different person if she wouldn't have settled. If she would have decided what it is she wanted. Now it's just not possible for her to become a nurse...not like it was possible to begin with seeing that she wasn't intelligent enough.

[What? I know a lot of mothers who finished school. Also, I have to give her credit for continuing to try even after she's failed a couple of times.]

She has to live with a guy who doesn't love her and is using her for his own pleasure. (Basically, she is his puppet.) And she is facing the most difficult challenge of all, raising a child.

[That's not as hard as it is to make a decent human being out of yourself. THAT'S a challenge.]

REASON #3: Revenge is sweet. (Like I said, I'm a writer, and the whole story will make one interesting screenplay.)

[AHHHH! You've got more? Noooo! I've seen soap operas with more realism than this.]

Payback's a bitch. Don't mess with me.

[She may make you read something she's written.]

One Liner:
If you're stupid, lack common sense, are desperate for a man, insecure or fake, don't bother talking to me because I don't give a damn.

[But she'll befriend you anyway. Whatever THAT means.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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