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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of June 2, 2002
edited by



Name: Denise

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am alone with three (10,7,2) beautiful children,

[I'd hardly call three kids alone. You don't think so? Try getting a moment alone in the bathroom.]

fucked by two ex-husbands,

[Hence the children.]

fucked by an ex boyfriend with a brand new harley davidson i co-signed for-

[Ouch! Well, live and learn, right?]

22,000 debt from both marriages not to mention the mother in law from hell.

[You DON'T live and learn. The good news is that when you get a divorce, that includes HIS family. She's no longer your mother in law, even if she's Grandma.]

One Liner:
too pissed to summarize my bitchiness

[You're just too pissed and confusing that with bitchiness.]



Name: Michele

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I can dish it out to(men&women)

[Funny you say "dish" because this is a "dirty-plate" application. You can serve a gourmet meal, but if you put it on a dirty plate, who will you find to eat it? Is that chicken? Is that broccoli? Who cares? I'm not eating it. You may have something of value buried in here, but I'm not sifting around to try and find it.]

as well as I can take it!!!!!!!!!! I'm
very street smart& A silver-tounged SmartAss who loves to let people know that I won't take any <Bull****>!!!! ;especially from an insecure "peeon-penis wrinkle"!!or a "whinny-ass Ho"!!! I have a very low tolerance for weak-minded-morons that are complete IDIOTS!!!!!
I can also be pretty "FUCKIN" ruthless when pushed too far!!!

[Too far? Go the distance! Clean up this train-wreck and try again. This is a TEXT exercise. Leave the ASCII pics alone. I swear, it looks like if you fold point A to point B, you'll get Snoopy.]

One Liner:
My motto is "Not only do I talk the talk;"But I walk the walk"!"BITCH" Don't "FUCK" with me;cuz if you push me in a corner: I'll come out swingin"<attitude*all>

[Despite what you believe, "attitude*all" is not HTML formatting. This is like a punctuation smorgasbord, where all spaces are random.]

and kick your idiot punk-ass all over the place! GOT IT! Learn It;Live It!!!& anyone who does'nt like!!!!! WELL they can blow-it out their "FLY-BLOW-ASSES"!!! "Grease-It"!!!                      C-YA.. BYE!!! I'm outta here...

[And not a moment too soon. It's starting to look like the Matrix in here, and I don't mean that in a GOOD way.]



Name: Melissa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because.. I hate it when men think I am stupid or dumb just because I was blessed with nice large breasts,

[They think you're stupid because you are.]

and when I do open my mouth,

[...you stick a dick right in it.]

they get intimidated and resort to saying I must I have PMS.

[Do you have PMS? Why do you care what they think? People are going to use whatever tactic will work. If they push a button, and you react, they are going to keep on pushing it. Hire an electrician and take that one out.]

I also am tired of people saying they come from a broken home and their childhood was miserable..WHO CARES? Doesn't everyone have fucked up parents? GET OVER IT!!

[Ever take your own advice? Doesn't EVERY woman get told that she's "raggin' it" from time to time?]

One Liner:
I don't have to explain shit, waw

[It's a good thing, too. You're hardly up for the job.]



Name: Wendy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm smothering in my own niceness. I want a Heartless Bitch mentor

[What are we? Ala-Teen? Dial-a-Bitch? Big Brothers and Bitch Sisters? There is no 12-step program, but we DO have the kick to the ass available whenever someone needs it.]

- do you think you could start a Heartless Bitch Support Group?

[We have better things to do. Even if we DIDN'T, who'd want to waste their time helping those better off HELPING THEMSELVES.]

I want, for once, NOT to notice how I'm effecting others and not to give a rat's ass whether people like me or not.

[Then don't. This takes practice.]

Oh, the freedom! Oh, the power! Oh, the fear! (I'm not aware of it usually, but I have to assume it's there...) Oh, the responsibility to myself! I'm going to start practicing tonight - "Every day, in every way, I'm getting bitchier and bitchier." Please - glare at me a little, I have to do my strengthening exercises!

[If only they had Kegel for the brain.]

One Liner:
The crust is the best part.

[The only problem are the little crumbs who think they are the filling.]



Name: Katie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch becaue I am sick of being around overgrown little boys with a sex drivin minds because boys are just dirty sloppy annoying horny ass holes who cause nothing but trubble!

[Have you considered moving away from them?]

One Liner:
all guys cause is pain and trubble and in the end the women after all that work still has to clean up after them!

[You don't have to turn into a maid because there is a mess around.]



Name: kytn

[She's baaaack.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Oh Jade Syren, you witty thing you!

[Is this anything like, "Oh, Zulie, you nut"?]

I am taking on a newly formed ritual of mailing you regularly to shower you with love and affection, all of the things an insecure little "bitch" needs =)

[Whatever floats your boat. I have a brand-new DELETE key I don't mind using.]

Seriously girl, to sit all day on the internet and compose a site about your hatrid is quite sad, how do you wake and think "gee i think today, i will go

[That WOULD be sad. What if I just took a few minutes out of my lunch hour? Would THAT be sad? What if I dedicated my free time emailing someone I have no interest in? Wouldn't THAT be sad?

I don't HATE you losers. That takes too much energy. It only takes a moment to point and laugh.]

belittle feeble minds worldwide because

[...they are feeble, yet vocal? Better to keep your mouth closed and be THOUGHT a fool...]

im bitter and twisted?"

[You could say that my sense of HUMOR is twisted. Otherwise, this isn't really accurate, and you can't make this conclusion based solely on the fact that I'm laughing at you.]

There must be a medium between the pre-menstrual stage or would you like me to hook you up with a little one on one that doesnt require a phone line and modem?

[How cliché. Either I'm suffering from PMS or I need to get laid. Surely even you could do better than this. Thank you for all the interest in my snatch, though. I keep my wits stored just a BIT higher.

(See Melissa, it's not only men who try to accuse you of having PMS. I do Weak of the WEEK, baby. I must be bleeding ALL the time.)]

;) Im willing to aid you in your quest for happiness Jade.

[I'm already HAPPY. You just keep me in material.]

Keep up the good work in the meanwhile though georgeous, you keep me amused none the less.

[You must have gone to the caveman school for picking up dates. The days in which you clubbed the object of your desire over the noggin and dragged her home are long gone.]

One Liner:
Jade Syren is a role model for all you pre-pubescent "bitches" almost like barbie, yet a little more synthetic and much more sexy ;)

[I'm more synthetic than Barbie? Are you calling me a fake bitch? Stick to what you know, Kytn. If you don't KNOW clever, don't try clever. It only comes out ridiculous and confused, which you know.]





Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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