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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of May 12, 2002
edited by



Name: Kathy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I think of ways to piss off my soon to be ex by opening his mail before I send it to him.

[Why is his mail coming to your house? I think mail tampering is a crime, by the way. Wouldn't it be simpler to just commence with the making of the ex process, so both of you can go on and live your lives? No, women like you prefer to keep one man on hold until you've hired a replacement, and you complain about how they lie and cheat on you. Even if he did this first, this wouldn't excuse your behavior. If it's wrong for him, it's wrong for you--period. Just grow up and end it.]

I sit nights thinking of ways to piss him off.

[Him, Him, Him. You must be quite dull.]

As you can tell I have a fixtation on my soon to be ex. This is why I surfed the web for this site.

[We can't help you any more than we have. Come back when you figure out that we're not about THEM, but about each one of you.]

One Liner:
you once told me that I wasn't the only bitch you have been with. Well baby you haven't seen this BITCH!

[Indeed. He's probably seen several like you since he left high school. You should try that, too.]



Name: Rachel

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
This is per the message from "Rebecca" you posted this week, the one with the steak knife that I posted recently. I was, of course, making it all up and it was pretty easy, considering you always post the same kind of stuff in that section anyway.

[I never claimed that it would be difficult to get into Weak of the Week. It's really as easy as falling off a log. Going downhill IS easier. Other things you can "achieve" with the same effort expended are:

Getting fired.
Getting hit by a bus, train or car.
Getting evicted.

Furthermore, I cannot claim that these applications aren't fake, only that I do not supply my own material. I publish what I receive in the same manner in which I receive it. Sometimes the weakness is just that someone would waste even a moment of their time to be IN Weak of the Week.]

Just modified the "bitter whore" rant a bit for flavor, and got right in...pretty fuckin' amazing.

[It's amazing that you'd think that it was somehow hard to do this. It's even more amazing that you'd go through all of this just for a few minutes of my time. Make some friends. Stop writing us suicide notes.]

Have fun continuing to mock the dregs of the world long-distance on your "bitter" little website.......and pray that the karmic kick in your collective cyber asses won't leave too lasting of an impression.

[It would be virtual. Our cyber-asses could stand it.]

One Liner:
I don't need to put people down to feel good about myself.

[Oh? What do YOU get from this expose? What do you get from threatening to mail us your corpse upon your suicide and then writing to ask for tips on how to do it?]



Name: china dahl

UserID : fukkubytch

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i believe everything with a dick should die. what good are they for? sex? that's a laugh!

[Maybe it is when you do it.]

i hate all men! i should become a personal hit-bitch: your ex fucked you over? call me, i'll kill his ass and stuff his own dick in his mouth!!

[Hmm. Do you have any experience? The LAST thing I'd need is a capitol murder rap because I've hired an idiot with no experience.]

why am i like this? because i have a father and he's a stupid muther-fucker too!

[Apple. Tree.]

i want in this club but if you turn me down then screw you, too! bitch! i'm the evil, pessimistic, heartless bitch that this web-site needs too

[Mock repeatedly?]

get show this whiny bitches how to get the dick out their asses and put their foot to these waste of skin and bones we call men necks!

[Necks are a waste of skin and bones? How else would you keep their heads above their shoulders?]

fuck men and fuck you if you don't let me in. enough said!

[Indeed. You've already said far too much as it is.]

One Liner:
i hate men and i kill anyone who trys to test me.

[I'm right here. You've failed, by the way.]

let me in or to hell with you too!

[I'd sooner take hell.]



Name: trta gf

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i BELIEVE THAT WE ARE STONED

[You're WAAAY ahead of me.]

BITCHES IN BREW.

[Stoned, brew...call back when you're sober.]

One Liner:
I AM A BITCH.

[You're high as a giraffe's ass.]



Name: Sun

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I REALLY AM HEARTLESS. I HATE BABIES AND MEN BUT I SLEEP WITH THEM ANYWAY.

[You don't mean that you sleep with babies.]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Notches in her belt.]

sorry :(

[Just like you don't mean this apology. The neat thing about writing is that you can erase, delete, edit,or trash anything stupid. Why didn't you, if you were really sorry about what you've said so far?]

I am ruthless and powerful!

[She can use exclamation points!]

I don't really give a shit about anybody elses feelings.

[So what's with the sorry business?]

I got sick of people a long time ago, and it is too much effort to appear friendlicy.

[Being fake does take a lot out of you. Why pretend? Either BE friendly, or do not. People will not appreciate the act, and you don't care much for it, either.]

I storm into my house and order my roommates to make me an omelette.

[I'm curious if you actually GET them.]

But sometimes I spit in thier FUUD. ump ump.

[What do you think they are using to make your omelettes? While digesting someone else's spit is pretty vile, I don't care for the idea of eating mine back again, either.]

I have no respect for any life expect for my own! And barely even my own, I'm surprised I don't have herpes, crabs, HIV, ballanital chancroids, syphillis, moenilal infections, gonorrhea, trichovaginitus, ETC.!

[Been tested lately?]

If I did, I would still sleep around.

[You're just a share-the-wealth kinda girl.]

I like Abdul Baha.

[Didn't he sing,"Who let the dogs out?"]

I think I am hot shit and everyone agrees with me,

[Yep, you're a shit, that's true.]

so it must be true! I rock.

[Skipped a few words. "I am dumb as a box o' rocks." That's what you meant.]

I'm so heartless. If I am in a really bad mood, I just walk around with my middle fingers stuck out,

[Don't they get tired?]

flipping off homeless people and everyone on the street. A couple of times when I have been really agitated, I just run up to people and am like 'RRAHH!!!"... That makes me feel better.

[They lock people up for acting this way. That makes ME feel better.]

I don't care WHAT you think. You must earn my respect and you hafta t5ry dayamn hard.

[How hard could it be? You run around yelling "RRAHH!"]

I don't even rally like min kat.

[I don't even know what you mean.]

One Liner:
LEAVE MY PUMPKINS ALONE OR I WILL GO BERSERK

[Go?]

AND TRAP YOU EVEN THOUGH I AM SMALL, BECAUSE I WILL HAVE GONE BERSERK AND WILL HAVE SUPER STRENGTH, OK.

[Oookay. Didn't you threaten me with seagulls before?]

AND I WILL POUR NAIL POLISH ON YOUR EYEBALLS IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY PUMPKINS ALONE!!!!!!

[Will you go away and stay if I leave your pumpkins alone?]

AND EVERYTHING OF MINE ALONE!!!!!!!!!

[It's too late to amend that now.]



Name: Lindsay

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I went out with a guy one time only because he looked like a hot rock star I adore...

[...but you're not shallow.]

then when I broke up with him I told him that.

[What a nice way to say goodbye.]

I am currently going out with a guy cause he knows a band I like and I wanna meet them.

[Another stalker!]

I'm not too sure what you wanna hear here

[Answer: the opposite of this shit.]

...but belive me I am..test me if you want.

[What am i? The quizmaster? You've failed.]

Ask my old high school peers...they all thought I was one. : )

[I don't do your leg work. Can't you speak for yourself? Toot your OWN horn.]

One Liner:
Come across me your gunna be used, abused, and left wanting more.

[More what? They've already cum.]



Name: TERASITA

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I WILL TELL A MAN OR PERSON TO GET THE F OUT AND KISS THE CRACK OF MY BH

[How's your anatomy? My butthole doesn't have a crack; it's in the crack.]

+++WHEN I THINK IAM BEING PLAYED WITH!!!!

[To think of all the women who aren't getting foreplay. Wait. I've got you all wrong. You're giving them the greenlight...instructions on how to get you hotter, faster. Oh, yeah. Kiss my butthole, baby. Ream me!]

One Liner:
THINGS COULD REALLY GET UGLY---- H E R E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-------OH JOY!!!!!!!!!

[Is he eating your ass right now? As you type, even? Is he using jelly or "surp." I'll bet he prefers "surp."]



Name: Wanda

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I cum first, and their aint no seconds!

[You don't know what you're missing.]

One Liner:
"Stop planning what you're going to say next, and STFU (shut the fuck up) and listen!"

[Wow! She gave me a glossary. How thoughtful. If you're going to type it out, why bother with abbreviations?]



Name: Jaded Bitch

[That alone is enough to get you bounced! How dare she?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
The father of my son hooked up with a whore the day he found out I was pregnant! Then proceded to get engaged to her 1 month before I gave birth to our son, along with getting her intials tatooed on his wrist!

[Look on the bright side. At least you're free of this loser, and hopefully will know how to spot his ilk in the future. Don't worry...she's not any more special than you were.]

One Liner:
Use them, screw them, then throw them away!

[Knowing how that feels, why would you do that to someone else?]



Name: Chrissy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When one of my friends is upset, all I can think about is shutting him/her up so I can get on with my life. When my sister has a bad break up, I laugh at her. When my mother found out she had emphysema, I told her it was her own fault. When my grandfather died, I threw a fit because my father would miss my graduation if he went to the funeral. When someone sends me a crappy "friendship email," I reply with a rude email about how they have wasted my time and that I am not really their friend anyway.

[They should thank you for your honesty.]

When my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, I turned around and dated his best friend. When a funeral procession passes by, I grumble about having to pull over. When they are in front of me, I flip them off for going so slow.

[Better use some strong sunblock. Wouldn't want you to have a sunburned ass from the sun rising and setting on it each day. However, even sunblock 32,000 will not protect it from the ass-kicking in your near future.]

One Liner:
If you don't like it, don't talk to me.

[Deal.]



Name: kayla

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i dont care if someones dead if i hate people i tell them to go hang u self i dont care if people die i dont love no one and if i cant get my own way i beat up people even boys if they dont give me what they want they might end up raped and dead

[If the boys give you what they want, they're gettin' fucked anyway. It's a win-win situation. I don't think you'll have to resort to raping them for this exchange to happen; that's like killing a fly with a battle axe.]

One Liner:
im and horrible nasty bitch

[Unscramble this sentence to reveal: Bitch, I'm horrible and nasty. I love word games.]



Name: Ms. Amy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I tend to play every guy at work.

[She's the Twister champ.]

This one boy, yes I refer to them as little boys, I was working on hooking up with

[Why hook up with a little boy? Don't shit where you eat. It's just a bad idea to date a co-worker.]

and I had to fix something that he messed up at work. So I then wrote up what is called a developmental feedback form on him. Basicly getting him in trouble for his mistake.

[I'm sure that helped you hook up with him.]

Then that night playing him and never calling him again.

[You're a dating disaster. You must have different goals than the rest of the world. You're not even getting laid first.]

One Liner:
Boys are only good for one thing,

[Map-folding?]

and that one thing most of 'em tend to suck at anyway..

[Killing bugs?]

....so tell me again what good they are??

[You can't think of anything else to talk about.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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