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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of April 14, 2002
edited by



Name: I like balls

[Okay.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Are you still heartless if people think you're being nice even when you're not?

[No.]

Right...
Can I have a card now?

[No.]

I'm not bitter, is that it?

[No.]

Such a good liar.

[You've managed to convince yourself.]

Dancing on that line between witty, and going-to-far. Waiting on some one to put you down, doing so before they have a chance. Wearing much too much make up.

[Insecurity-the other blanket.]

One Liner:
I have to say to all the member of the HBI - You can try and try, but somehow you'll never be a Queen.

[I set my sights a little higher than that, anyway.]



Name: Ava-Nicole

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well, after my boyfriend of over TWO YEARS left me quie suddenly,

[How long do you think it takes to break up?]

I was heartbroken. of course. especially when he hooked up with this canadian WHORE

[Stealing your boyfriend doesn't make her a whore.]

he had been tutoring in math for a little while (blame canada).

[It was funny in South Park because they were illustrating what you're doing. Take responsibility.]

well, i sent her a great christmas gift -- a card full of my pubic hairs.

[Gee. She didn't get you anything.]

hope when my roommate screwed me over,

[You hope he did, or he did? Which is it?]

i fucked him right back.

[Repeatedly. Was that the problem?]

i woke up one afternoon after he had moved out, and i heard him in the livingroom. grabbing my cell phone, since he had fucked up all the phone jacks in the house, i called the cops.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"uh, there's someone in my house."
there was never a sweeter sight than that bastard face down on the floor, handcuffed. and i videotaped the whole thing.

[The police didn't find this strange behavior?]

then there was the time when these mexican idiots who DON'T speak english came into my store and bought this universal remote.

[Money is universal.]

they left, and then 10 minutes later, brought it back. they hadn't put batteries in it. i smiled at them.

[How do you know why they wanted to return it? 10 minutes is hardly enough time to go home and actually play with it.]

"you guys are total idiots."
"si, si!"
"i'll bet you were dropped on your head as children."
"si, si!"

[What do you think they were saying to each other about you?]

in high school, the "popular" girls were afriad of me. i didn't care about my clothes or my nails or makeup.

[Just about how they saw you.]

anytime i saw them, and they would try and make me feel inferior, i would always stop them and make some smart ass remark about, "at least I don't have to cake my face in makeup to be pretty," or, "i don't know what the fuck you're bitching at me for. A, i can have fun without getting drunk and fucked, and two, i can solve my own goddammed problems without whining to all my friends, teachers, coaches, neighbors, and those i consider "below" me about how some protein that grows on my head isn't perfect. up yours."

[Why did you spend so much of your time on people that you didn't like?]

i make fun of stupid people....usually to their face. i'm surprised i haven't been fired yet.

[Me too. All that mirror-gazing on the job really cuts into production.]

when i broke up with my boyfriend who had started to become a little possesive, well, i actually didn't break up with him.

[I thought you were Miss Direct (ha), you coward.]

i just stopped calling him, and pretended i had no idea who he was when he came into my work and tried to talk to me.

[You frequently have strangers call you by name?]

the most-heard line out of my mouth? "quit your useless whining before i shove my foot up your ass so i can kick you in the head."

[Going straight to the head is more effective.]

oh, and i met britney spears backstage once. not lying, i had to take my sister to her concert. i told her she was a shallow slut, and got us both kicked out. my sister didn't speak to me for 4 months after that.

[If you didn't like her, you shouldn't have gone. Why would you ruin a special moment for your sister just so you could insult a celebrity?]

One Liner:
Don't fuck with me, I'm evil.

[Just stupid. People are always confusing the two.]

Just ask my ex...except I think his jaw is still wired shut...

[Wish they would do the same with your fingers.]



Name: andrea

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
becaseu i will give you a penny if you suck my big toe

[Talk about earning a living the hard way….]

One Liner:
lala shit fuck

[Kinky Shitfuckpiss-the Teletubby with Tourette's.]



Name: Lyla

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't know yet. Give me time and I will give you something to work with

One Liner:
I don't know yet. Give me time and I will give you something to work with

[You have the rest of your life to get it together. Time's a wastin'. Don't write back until you've got it.]



Name: Erika

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i hate you.

[You don't even know me.]

see.. what happened was i was talking to this guy and he was an ass so i decided to keep talking to him

[What do you expect from an ass but a fart?]

and then i got so mad at him that i just killed him.

[Oh, okay. Neat little twist on "bored him to death."]

and then i bit off his "thingy" hehe while he was alive.

[He was an ass, and you put his cock in your mouth? How nasty.]

i like to see little men squirm. oh... by the way.. he was really small ; )

[Pick on someone your own size, nitwit.]

One Liner:
i like to kick guys where it hurts. i enjoy the look of pain they give.

[Try talking to them. It's easier, and you get better results.]



Name: Laurel

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't even understand why I'm signing up for this but I feel since I'm probably what most people consider a bitch.

[Way to be horribly wrong in your first sentence.]

Anyways you seem to have most of the crap I talk about on this site.

[I'm sure that it's expressed quite differently. We don't use "like," and "you know."

I'm really not a quite or those fucking weird people who are wanna be punk and goths, and I'm especially not a comformist, poser or skater wanna be.

[Really? You're just another confused teen searching for identity. How conformist is that? One thing about you non-conformists-you sure do act the same.]

God they have no lives what so ever. If you think I'm not qualified, well I'd just have to say fuck you. Cause thats me and me is what I am so ya, deal with it.

[Deal with WHAT? Do you think I don't get a "fuck you" note every day?]

One Liner:
"We now that your a poser and a comformist thats why were trying to tall you get a fucking life!!"

[At least they are minding their own business. How boring does YOUR life have to be to worry about what a poseur/conformist is doing?]



Name: Miriam

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have a page of niceys they said I am so cool but I can't find it in immediacy. :-( They are nice. And cool.

[So I gathered. They're just hard to find quickly.]

Hello I am not a heartless female dog (I do not say the no no word because it is not good :-( and it saddens me

[It saddens me that you're using baby talk.]

:-( that so many virtuous young ladies soil their mouths and the Lord God's happyness by enunciated such bad words :-(

[I'm sure that Jesus's happiness doesn't depend on not being a potty-mouth.]

But 1 day I have no liking of boys. They make me do a cry as though I transmogrified in a erupted volcano.

[Hot lava makes you cry? This is like saying that the ocean is damp.]

L

[M?]

I did know a boy I dated and the boy I dated was not nice the boy I dated hasn't not been not crazy and mean.
I ejalculated

[Oh ho ho.]

"You are a bad bad man." And the boy I dated crys!!! But I did a laugh!!!

[I get it. You're Miguel. Nah, you can't be. You're not funny enough. Find a better role model than the guy who runs Fat Chicks in Party Hats.]

I am the meanie. L

[I am the Egg Man. Goo Goo G'Joob.]

So I must have meanness in my soul. And I am remorseful but I pray to Lord God for gorgivness and I wish to help other young Christian ladies to not have meanness. :-( It is a uncuously abysmal malady. :-( So I have speaks to tell for all poor hurt girls deprived from the Lord God's word. :-( It is a catastrophic when a poor hurt girl does not hear god she will venture of the descended Hell!! :-(

[Didn't I pass you in the airport? Eat the pudding.]

I matriculated my remorse to the boy I dated but I feel the boy I dated had a hurt. :-( So it was the boy I dated crys from what. :-(

[He has my sympathy. I'm crying, too.]

One Liner:
Jesus loves me and you too. But you require to let Him into your hearts. Or He hate you. }:-(

[Suddenly, Christianity got cooler. Worship HIM…or else.]



Name: catherine

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i want my best mate to break up with her boyfriend of a year, "they're in luuurrrrrrve" :p

[He wouldn't sleep with you, eh?]

One Liner:
i put a curse on my dad to have him die before he's 50

[Hang in there. Once he realizes what a fuckwit he has for a child, he'll be running off.]



Name: marly

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I use men for anything i want and I want everthing

[I'm wondering where they keep it.]

One Liner:
If i want a apology i just suck it out of there dicks!

[Shooting semen in your eye or down your gullet means never having to say you're sorry.]



Name: laura

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i am a heartless bitch! i am allied with one other girl and we rip total hell out of: fat people, thin people, pretentious people, nerds, scemes, chafs, sluts, whores, nice people, talented people(esp them i hate godam talented folk especially CHARLOTTE CHURCH, fat talented whore!)also i hate people who take the piss out of my ideals. we have taken these people and written them into a series of bitching books, mainly about how much we hate 2 girls who we are ment to be mates with.

[It is said that people with low intelligence talk only about other people.]

i also really hate it when people correct me on my spelling!

[Do something about it, then. Go, GO dammit, GO!]

One Liner:
hypocricy is ultimately evil, except when i'm doing it.

[This would be clever if it were from someone else.]



Name: Val

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im a Heartless Bitch because I am the Queen of Revenge.

[Living well is the best revenge.]

I have a black cat tattooed on my leg because if you cross ME, its bad luck.

[Truer words were ne'er spoken. Already I feel unfortunate to have crossed you.]

I sent an anonymous letter from the "Board of Health" to a guy that dumped me, saying he's been in contact with a person who was diagnosed with a "highly" contagious and "potentially fatal" disease.

[Stupidity isn't contagious, even if everyone's coming down with it.]

I've walked out of movie houses and restaurants if I deem my date to be boring.

[You should try that in-flight.]

I've arrived at parties with one guy and left with another. If a guy has cussed me out, I wait a week, call and apologize to him, agree to pick him up and take him to a game, concert, etc., stop at a faraway convenience store, ask him to go in and buy some crap, and then leave him without a ride.

[Why not tell him what he did wrong, go home, and never call him again? Too sane?]

Who wants some simpy, crybaby woman? Men RESPECT us bitches!

[Fear is not respect.]

One Liner:
I DONT CHASE, I REPLACE.

[You obsess. It takes just too much time to get even with a loser. Better to just move on.]



Name: Tara

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
First of alkl

[Alcohol? You're soaking in it.]

im sick and tired of those pussy ass little skanks that will sit there and talk shit about you behind your back but when you confront them about it they won't admit it b/c they don't want to fight. well guess what. i don't either but when it comes down to it if you don't like me either keep it to yourself or tell me to my face cuz im not down with all that trash talk but no walk shit.

[I'd rather be talked about by low people than have nothing to do but talk about them, or be bothered about what they say.]

second of all i hate guys that don't reaspect you. like when you say i want to be a virgin until im married because i think its the right thing to do and then they try to force you to have sex with them.

[We hate them, too.]

guys like that should have their peckers ripped off and fed to them.Oh and when your mom takes you away from your best friend because she thinks your a lesbian but later in the same sentance says she'll beat you if you get pregnant. How the hell can you get pregnant if your a fucking lesbian.

[Moms say some confusing things sometimes. At least I know where you get it.]

people need to get their facts straight before they open their mouthes. oh and double standards. oh hell nah that is the worst thing in the world to me. like when your moom tries to hook you up with a 20 year old but when you start going out with a 19 year old he's suddenly too old for you. what the hell is up with that.

[Physical age and maturity are not the same thing.]

well im gonna go i got alot more to say but i hate typing because its so impersonal.

[You can just get the idea of meeting me right out of your head.]

One Liner:
if you don't like me then fuck off

[Like it's my fault that you suck.]









Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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