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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of March 10, 2002
edited by



Name: James

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Suck it wench. YOu all are gay lesbians

[As opposed to STRAIGHT lesbians.]

who can't get a sudden grasp on life.

[Picky, picky. I'd prefer a STEADY grasp to a SUDDEN one.]

All you guys excuse me "girls" do is cry and complain because

[...the general populace is blindlingly stupid?]

none of you can find a man yourselves.

[Oh, I was going to guess that next. How is your search coming? Find a good man yet?]

You know what cry and complain is all you can do because you feel that it is mens fault for all your problems oh well.

[At this very moment the only problem I have is this little prick who wants to write in and gripe. Whose fault is that?]

Can't stop a loser from being a loser.

[Can't blame a girl for pointing at them and laughing.]

One Liner:
Words can't describe

[That's the hurdle with a less than 10,000 word vocabulary.]



Name: chris

[Sure, you're Chris. Creating an army to back you up is a breeze on the internet.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Suck it wench. YOu all are gay lesbians who can't get a sudden grasp on life. All you guys excuse me "girls" do is cry and complain because none of you can find a man yourselves. You know what cry and complain is all you can do because you feel that it is mens fault for all your problems oh well. Can't stop a loser from being a loser.

[Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like the Dork collective. He's 2 of many.]

I would also like to add on my friends

[Snicker. Yes, we get the idea that this is NOT James.]

here you all suck and should take some stimulants or finish the job and jump off the building all ready it would be better for all of us if you did.

[Who is "us"?]

One Liner:
Words can't describe

[How pitifully lame this was.]



Email : snugbun

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
dont you tell me te nswer i gacve isn't enough becuase yu don;t know me

[I don't imagine that your last application was any better. I don't have to know you to see that you're just too hard to read.]

i will hurt you, now give me a damn membership!!!!!!!!!

[Come on over and beat one out of me. See why strong-arm tactics don't work?]

One Liner:
guys are just plain gay

[Well, the gay guys are.]



Name: Shani

UserID : alex

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because I had to leave the movie "Titanic" early because it made me want to heave.

[Said by someone with the UserID of "alex."]

The first time my ex-husband listened to the Meredith Brooks song "Bitch" he called me right away to tell me it was my song. More reasons, too lengthy...

[And time-wastingly stupid, no doubt.]

One Liner:
I am too slick to be walked on.

[You're not slick, you're just slimy.]



Name: Sandy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
What really makes a person a heartless bitch? Let me describe myself and perhaps that will explain.

[I hope so.]

I use men for sex. Why not? They don't require batteries and sometimes they even pay for dinner for you first.

[Here's an idea. If all you want is the sex and free dinner, advertise as such. This should increase your clientele...er, dating circle. You can even have rates for specific activities. Sure, you'll suck a dick for dinner, but if they want you to swallow, well, that's going to cost them your phone bill. Things like that.]

My last boyfriend wanted to come on my recent holiday. After a few days I got really pissed off with him so I sent him home. There was never a thought of me paying for his ticket home

[Did you pay his ticket THERE? I don't get this. Weren't round-trip tickets purchased in the first place? He DID come on his own, didn't he?]

or any feeling of guilt that I may have spoilt his day.

[That would be week, you'd already had a few good days with him. This behavior just makes you a wretched person. I could see if you explained that he did something to you that deserved being sent home, but why would you be expected to feel guilt. You saying that makes his banishment arbitrary, and that just makes you a shitty person, not a Heartless Bitch.]

An ex-boyfriend emailed me out of the blue the other day. We hadn't separated on good terms so I was stunned that he would try any contact.

[Especially since you tried to kill him, and all.]

My reply was therefore simple - "What the fuck could you have to say that would be of any interest to me? For that matter, what information would ever come out of your slimey mouth that any decent person could find worth listening to?"

[Why respond at all? To continue the drama.]

I find "girlie" movies or "chick flicks" boring.

[Natch.]

If a guy wants to watch porno movies with me I am happy to do so. While he is ogling the naked women I comment on how good it would be to have a guy with a penis THAT size.

[So what. They don't fall for that shit like women do. Men already KNOW that porno guys are freak shows, and they don't feel inadequate. You've got to admire a mind so hypocritical as to believe that the female proportions are possible without surgery while ignoring the over-endowed males.]

In the circumstance where the guy actually does have a large one, I change my comments to ones relating to how the guy on the movie can really get the girl off. Wouldn't that be nice?

[Why be catty? Give him an instruction manual. Take the initiative.]

One of my neighbours asked me to dinner the other night. He said he had accidentally thawed too much chicken and could therefore spare some. As I left (straight after consuming a good meal) I mentioned that the chicken was all he had managed to thaw.

[You're one of those kooky neighbors, aren't you?]

Valentines Day for me is a day when I get to dash hopes.

[Seek help.]

I never share a chocolate bar.

[Quelle surprise. You're greedy and selfish. So what.]

One Liner:
Men tend to describe any woman who has a brain as heartless

[Not true. A woman with a brain ranges from hot librarian to just brainy and boring.]

because they can't cope with the fact that we have more than one organ which can work at the one time.

[I'd get the keys tuned on your organ. You're definitely off pitch.]



Name: Aleesa

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I suffocated this hoe who slept with my man, and i did it with her own stanky ass panties.

[You found them under your couch, didn't you?]

And then I put flyers up around our school

[School? You're still in school?]

describing the minuteness of his small little dick,

[Yet you were willing to kill to keep it.]

and burned all his shit that was in my house.

[Before or after you took it outside?]

One Liner:
You have two titties, take the left

[It matters which one I use?]

one and shove it in your mouth so you can shut the fuck up, and take the other

[That would be the right one.]

one and shove it up your ass.

[Why? What purpose would it serve. The left one is for silence, but the right? You want me to not shit? How does that help? Why my tits, anyway?]



UserID : assface

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
my heartless bitch qualities eh? hmmm, when i was bi-sexual (now 100% dyke) a man

[Completely random fella.]

wanted me to give him a blowjob and instead i hit his penis

[And he just laid there like a lump and let you?]

and continued to speak of how unnatractive it was, how small it was and definately how useless it was. i then began comparing it to those of my exes, including the strap on my ex-girlfriend and i used. i proceded to hit it again, laughed and walked away.

[You work in a house of pain, don't you?]

Oh and i have a pet newt, i'm about to stand on his head.

[Why?]

One Liner:
service my cuntry

[I thought I felt a draft.]



Name: Bitch Bitchson

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
well, I've told guys who sucked in bed to get the hell off me and leave, of course including the fact that they have a teeny tiny miniscule dick...

[You should try before you buy.]

ive fucked up my ex's brand new 2002 escalade cuz he tried to cheat on me with my cousin, the bastard!

[Vandalism-the cowardly idiot's form of revenge.]

then i caught this bitches apartment on fire cuz she tried to tell me i was a bitch, which i am, but she best not call me that when she doesnt even fuckin know me,

[If she had known you, she'd have called you an idiot.]

and she tried to call the cops on me about my boyfriends car, so i fucked her shit up, and it wasnt just her apt, i kicked her ass too, and shoved a hot curling iron in her pussy... is that enough?

[You want me to believe that in the middle of a brawl you plugged up a curling iron and waited for it to heat up? Yes, this is more than enough from you. Get back to your corner of the litterbox.]

One Liner:
TO ALL THE MALES OUT THERE: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

[Yet all your mayhem is male-inspired.]



Name: Joni

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't blow my husband every day.

[Just when he asks.]

One Liner:
Who cares if he gets blowed.
I got new clothes.

[You keep dribbling all over your old ones. Get a bib.]





Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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